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Why I put my kids to bed at 7:00 … it is a hot topic, that’s for sure! When our children were younger, we had all of our kids in bed around 7:00 every night. They were asleep around 7:30 every night.
UPDATE: This post was written several years ago in 2014, when our kids were much younger, but I believe that it is important. We still maintain a regular bedtime, but they no longer go to bed as early as they once did.
I owe so many well-rested nights and happy children during the day to the fact that we have a regular and early bedtime for our children. In fact, many Dutch parents put their kids to bed between 6:00 & 7:00 for very similar reasons that we have an early bedtime.
Before I begin- remember that although this works for us, it is not for everyone. As with all of my advice, do what works best for your family. ♥
Our kids (ages 2-9) are in bed by 7:00
Yes, our young children are in bed at 7:00. It is 2014, and my children range from 2 years old to 9 years old. Our 9 year old now goes to bed at 8:00, because he is older and needs less sleep. Until they are 9 years old, 7:00 remains their bedtime.
Last week, a fellow blogger shared my post about what to do when your 2 year old is still waking at night. In the post I talked about our early bedtime and gave some life-changing advice for our toddler that was waking up. That post led someone to leave the comment “Who puts their kid to bed at 7:00 pm?”
WE DO.
Yes, We have received mixed feedback about this, but it works for us. I know that 7:00 is early. I know that it cuts into their day, but I can tell you that I would rather have happy kids for 12 hours a day than tired or grumpy kids for 13 hours a day. (Our older kids wake up at 7:00 no matter what time they go to sleep. Really!)
Playing hard in the day makes kids tired by bedtime!
Our four YOUNG kids play hard during the day. They run around a lot and they spend a lot of time outside with us.
They are busy in the day, so they are tired when 7:00 rolls around.
They DO NOT nap anymore and they are just plain worn out by the evening, even if they don’t want to admit it (and they never do! haha!)
We have tried to push this back when we are on vacation, but they just aren’t as relaxed and easy-going the next day. They are a little more on edge, just like we are (as adults) when we don’t get the rest that we need. I put them to bed early because I want them to be smiling & ready to take on the day. 🙂
Plus- the are usually asleep in 5-15 minutes, so I know they are tired.
Do they ever stay up late?
YES! Once a month they each stay up late for Their Special Night. Plus, every night, our oldest son gets to have Read-Alone time in his room before bed, too. Or they can read their spelling words while they fall asleep with this little hack.
If that have football or wrestling, they are up even later, but we AIM for an early bedtime! Our younger children have a really hard time waking up for school at 7:00 am when he doesn’t get his full 12 hours of sleep, so I do try to get him to bed as early as possible.
I want him to be able to focus at school, be energetic in play and at his sports and be happy at home! This little chart can help you to know how much sleep they truly need…
Kidshealth.org says:
“Most kids between 5 and 12 get about 9.5 hours a night, but experts agree that most need more. When your body doesn’t have enough hours to rest, you may feel tired or cranky, or you may be unable to think clearly. You might have a hard time following directions, or you might have an argument with a friend over something really silly. A school assignment that’s normally easy may feel impossible, or you may feel clumsy playing your favorite sport or instrument.
Sleep Impacts Growth & Health
One more reason to get enough sleep: If you don’t, you may not grow as well. That’s right, researchers believe too little sleep can affect growth and your immune system — which keeps you from getting sick.” All in all- sleep is important! Your kids need it, even if they don’t WANT it.”
Do you have time with them in the evening?
I am not saying that this is right for everyone, so please hear me out. My husband and I both work from home, so this works for us. Two of our kids stay home with us during the day, and our older children go to school until 3:30. We have plenty of family time daily from 3:30 until bedtime.
Before my husband worked from home, I used to have the kids showered and in their pajamas before he got home, to give us more time together. Remember that it is quality over quantity.
Does it happen every night?
7:00 bedtime does not happen every single night, but it’s our goal every night. Most nights, one of our kids will be at practice until 8:00, so of course bedtime is later on that night.
Sometimes, it’s even earlier than 7:00. A few years ago, when my youngest kids were 3 & 5, they would fall asleep in the car at 6:00 on our way to drop the older kids off at practice… and I just take them up to bed and they slept ALL NIGHT LONG. They never woke up during the transition to bed. I know it’s crazy, but when I try to wake them, they are NOT happy, so on those nights, I just let it go.
It’s good for your marriage:
My husband and I see each other all day long while we work from home or while we are spending time with the kids, but at night we have time to watch a show, play a board game, etc…
Now, I am not saying that this is why we put them to bed early or that it is why we started, because it’s not, but we do enjoy that time together. Did you know that the #1 fear of preteens and teenagers is divorce among their parents? Quality time together, with your spouse, reduces this risk greatly.Make it a point to tell your children that you are going to spend time with your spouse.
Children Need Sleep
Remember- our bedtime certainly isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. It is healthy for our kids to get that amount of sleep and it helps them overall. Quality sleep + healthy foods make a huge difference for children (and adults).
On the other hand…
I wanted to share a story, for those of you that have a late bedtime. My very dear, long-time friend, Julia, has always had a late bedtime and her children follow her lead. They stay up well past 10:00 and it works for them. They sleep in every morning and they are happy, healthy, smart children. Her children are the same ages as mine. I know that I need to wait until 11:00 or later to talk to her on the phone. 🙂
All of that to say that this is what works for us, but it is up to you to find out what works best for your family.
I hope this helped to shed a little light on families with early bedtimes. Sleep well… no matter the time!♥
I agree. Our 17 month old son goes to bed at 8 and isn’t “allowed” up until 8 am (of course if he genuinely needed something I would get him up but if he is just babbling at 7:30 or so I leave him until 8 so I can finish doing my devotions and such) now sometimes he even sleeps past 8 on his own. 🙂 plus he takes a 3 hour on and off again nap in the afternoon. I’ve tried just getting him up from his nap when he wakes up after 2 hours but if I do a few hours later he is a monster, whereas if I leave him when he wakes up after 2 hours he puts himself back to sleep in just a few minuets. My husband and I have found that we really need the time to destress before we go to sleep ourselves that an early bedtime allows.
Yes– “sleep begets sleep” 🙂
Mine go to bed by 8, but I think it’s great you get yours to bed by 7. Mine are 6 and 9. The 9 year old has told me a few times, “Some of my friends go to bed by 9.” I said, “That’s great for them. Maybe they sleep in longer in the morning.” They need good sleep. There are times I up their bedtime. Like when day light savings hits, if they are sick, or cranky.
:)Thanks!
I so agree with this!!!! I am a slave to my 5 year old’s sleep schedule lol. He is in bed at 630 pm,sometimes earlier and sleeps a full 12 hours plus. I was always on a routine with naps ( in his crib, not a car seat) and we have the exact same routine each night. It has its drawbacks- he misses out on evening activities such as beavers, baseball etc but he can’t handle a later schedule and in the long run I believe sleep is more important. We also miss dinners etc with others but again sleep is my priority for him. He’s very social, plays hard all day in the fresh air whether it rains or shines, still gets sports etc on weekend days and is a happy kid. I RARELY deal with a tantrum or any behaviours. I’m sure many people think I’m nuts but I really don’t care 🙂 it works for us and more importantly…him!!
i am amazed at all these mamas who can swing a 7 pm bedtime (and earlier!) my kids wont go to bed earlier than 9! it’s not a fight or anything… they just dont fall asleep that early! they always, always get up at 7 am. on the bright side, that gives them time to eat breakfast with daddy.
True! 🙂
I’m so impressed with the encouraging, respectful conversation in these comments. Great job to all.
AGREED!!! I was expecting a lot of judgmental comments, but its refreshing to see that everyone understands that we just do what works for our family, even if its not what works for theirs. 🙂
i agree 110%, my kids are no longer babies, but they still have a bedtime. My son is in 12th and my daughter is in 10th grade, they have to be up by 5:30am n walk 6 blocks to the bus stop. Bedtime is 10:00pm.
Wow- that’s an early morning! 🙂 (That will be our kid’s schedules in high school)… I’m dreading it already! haha!
I couldn’t agree more to an early bedtime. I have 4 children and they all went to bed early. I am an early morning person myself so it was easy to get up at 6 am in the morning. As they got a bit older and they slept a bit later (7am), it meant I had time for a coffee and to wake up properly. I was more ready for them then.
They are all much older now and apart from my youngest (14), they are all still early risers. To my mind, it means they are all much more prepared for the day ahead.
I have always been a morning person, too.
I’m always amazed at people’s attitudes toward other people’s parenting. From the raised eyebrow to the outright “that’s wrong! ” I say this because I have a 4 year old I still put down for naps. I’ve read many articles about a child’s need for sleep that support your article. But mostly I get the “NAPS?! Really? he’s too old. You’re babying him.” Ugh!
Oh, goodness- our oldest son was napping until the week before he went to Kindergarten- he was almost 6 when he stopped napping! 🙂
When I first saw the caption I apologize for being judgmental. Let me explain, I am a daycare provider. I am going to go out on a limb and say it works for your family specifically because you are a stay at home mom. (I was a stay at home mom through mid elementary school for my children). I’ve been a provider for nearly twenty years. The past years there is a trend of very selfish parents demanding their “me” time. I understand they are working moms and dad and stretched to the limit. We play hard too here at daycare. But when I have parents that take all their personal days off to themselves, go on vacations by themselves (while their children are in daycare for eleven hours), and use my hours from open to close so they can have time to themselves makes me incredibly sad for the children in my care. Pick up kids, give them dinner (maybe bath) and off to bed by 6-7. Where is the quality time with their children?? If I were a working mom and my child was in full-time daycare I would have such a difficult time putting my child to bed so early. One hour of hurry, hurry, hurry time and off to bed? Nope, not fair to the kids. (Of course there are circumstance where it would warrant an early bedtime such as child extra cranky and even an incredibly long day for parent and mom or dad truly needed time to relax or go to bed early themselves.) Sorry to be harsh, but in the scheme of things bedtime between 6-7 for children in daycare is downright cruel.
You are so sweet to tell me all of that & I appreciate it. I am 100% with you on the work thing and I couldn’t do it if I weren’t home with them all day. I honestly miss our boys when they are at school and I LOVE being with them, so I don’t really feel like I need much “me time” because I will get a LOT of that when they are grown (lets not talk about that just yet!)… be still, my heart.
I wish my 6 year old son would go to bed at 7!
He refuses to go to bed unless I do!
Some nights it’s 9:30-10:00 before he gets to sleep….up at 6:15 for
School….he’s so crabby…1st grade is too hard on him.
Not enough sleep is effecting his homework.
As for you parents who have a 7:00 bedtime….I’m jealous!!!
My husband has moved into “The Spiderman Room”…
My son refuses to sleep without me.
haha! You are so funny. My best friend’s kids don’t go to bed until 10:30 or 11:00, but it really works well for them. They are the sweetest girls! 🙂 Some kids (like mine & yours, too, it sounds like) just can’t handle the lack of sleep.
Try bumping it up just a half hour a week until you are at your desired bedtime.
I’ve been a mom for nearly 17 years. My 2, 4, and 7 year old are in bed between 8 and 8:30 and my 11 and 13 year old are in bed by 9:30. We homeschool, so ours sleep until they naturally wake up (much better for their bodies). My 2 year old doesn’t nap every single day, but at least 3 times a week, and my 4 year old naps on Wednesday’s, because of AWANA which doesn’t end until 8, which means we don’t get home until 8:30-9:00. (My oldest daughter died when she was 2…so she’s safe in the arms of Jesus and bedtimes aren’t an issue in Heaven is my guess!)
Sleep is so very important. I often feel a bit of annoyance when people with very young ones talk about how late their kids are up and how they refuse to nap, I’m curious who’s the parent, especially when they’re only 1 and 2 years old!! Create a bedtime from when they’re young, set up nap times, and even if they don’t fall asleep require that they lay in bed and at the very least look at books, if you notice they’re struggling to stay awake during dinner or evening commitments! One thing I’ve discovered is, if/when they start fighting nap time, if you (mom’s in general) at least require a rest time, it can make all the difference for them, since their body and minds are still getting needed rest and often napping comes back when they see mom is still going to require they rest. I don’t have a lot of meltdowns during the day and I believe it’s because they’re fully rested!
Yes- it seriously cuts down on meltdowns in our house, too. Our youngest (2) is cutting out her nap, so she especially needs the sleep. 🙂
I rarely comment on blog posts, but I feel I must for the sake of those mamas out there that had situations just like mine. You read every single book, article, blog post, etc. out there that says your baby and toddler needs AT LEAST 14 total hours of sleep per day. You watch all your friends as they put their kids to bed at 7 and they wake up at 7 the next morning while you try to put your kid to 7 and she wakes up at 3:30. No amount of sleep training, tough love, snuggles, prayers, bribes, bargains with the devil, or whatever will make your precious little child sleep more than 8 hours in a given day.
We went to a sleep specialist at Children’s Hospital, Los Angeles and he told us there was absolutely nothing wrong with what we were doing, or with our child. He said that a majority of the sleep books out there rest on the longer side of average when it comes to hours of sleep a child needs. So our kid, sleeping 8 hours at night and a paltry 30 minute nap was indeed well rested and getting all the sleep her body requires.
So for all you moms out there feeling like you’re failing your child when you read articles (and all the sleep books for that matter) like this saying that you just need to put your kid to bed earlier, take heart….you don’t need to do that. You simply have a kid with less of a sleep requirement. Take heart, also, that if you are providing a good, consistent bedtime routine at the same time every day, and your kid wakes up around the same time every day, you are doing your job as a parent. And ignore these fairy tales of children that sleep 12 hours at night and their parents actually get to spend quality time together. Someday, your child will get a bit older and you will get some sleep too (I promise!)
‘Different strokes for different folks’ – I’m glad that you are doing what works for your family. That’s all that we can do. 🙂
I put both my kiddies to bed at 7pm. My almost 4 yo son goes to bed at 7 but the stretches out put the jimmyjams on for as long as possible and then it’s the slooooow brushing of teeth but then his Dadda reads him his 3 books every night & I hear them laughing together & making monster sounds etc up until almost 8pm! It’s Dadda’s time with him & they both love it.
On the other hand I put my 1yo baby girl to bed at 7pm, if it’s any later like 7:10 she is yawning & cranky!
I have lots of friends that don’t put their kids to bed at 7 or even give them a day nap/rest & their kids are cranky & throw tantrums all the time – I wonder if it is related?? I put my 4yo to ‘nap’ every day but 99% of the time he plays quietly in his room for a minimum of 40mins quite happily.
Great blog post. I am all for all the sleep my three year old twins need. My guys have always tended towards night owls and we, these days, are not getting them to bed until 11 pm. Insane. I never woulda thought that would be ok. But they sleep until 11 the next morning and take a 2 hour nap. They get lots of sleep! They just don’t want it at reasonable hours. We are going to have a hard time transitioning to a school schedule, I’m afraid. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it…
Since school started this year, we’ve been doing 7:00 bedtimes. I hate it. We homeschooled years prior and decided we will return to homeschool next year. Seeing my children for 3 hours a day is simply not enough. The bus picks them up at 7 and drops them off at 4. Then we rush to get dinner, showers, dishes, and a wee bit of fun. We’ve had to pass n AWANA and other evening activities and fun teen groups with church because of the time. 7:00 just isn’t working out. I’m not a morning person either, so that adds to the dislike of the whole thing. For years my husband and I had no problems getting alone time. Now it’s a struggle because I’m too tired and often fall asleep as soon as the kids do. It’s not been a great adjustment. I do still gave 3 kids at home while the other 2 are at school and they miss their siblings like crazy. I miss my lazy mornings with my kids. The morning rush sucks. Can’t wait til it’s over and we can go back to our 9ish bedtime.