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Why I put my kids to bed at 7:00 … it is a hot topic, that’s for sure! When our children were younger, we had all of our kids in bed around 7:00 every night. They were asleep around 7:30 every night.
UPDATE: This post was written several years ago in 2014, when our kids were much younger, but I believe that it is important. We still maintain a regular bedtime, but they no longer go to bed as early as they once did.
I owe so many well-rested nights and happy children during the day to the fact that we have a regular and early bedtime for our children. In fact, many Dutch parents put their kids to bed between 6:00 & 7:00 for very similar reasons that we have an early bedtime.
Before I begin- remember that although this works for us, it is not for everyone. As with all of my advice, do what works best for your family. ♥
Our kids (ages 2-9) are in bed by 7:00
Yes, our young children are in bed at 7:00. It is 2014, and my children range from 2 years old to 9 years old. Our 9 year old now goes to bed at 8:00, because he is older and needs less sleep. Until they are 9 years old, 7:00 remains their bedtime.
Last week, a fellow blogger shared my post about what to do when your 2 year old is still waking at night. In the post I talked about our early bedtime and gave some life-changing advice for our toddler that was waking up. That post led someone to leave the comment “Who puts their kid to bed at 7:00 pm?”
WE DO.
Yes, We have received mixed feedback about this, but it works for us. I know that 7:00 is early. I know that it cuts into their day, but I can tell you that I would rather have happy kids for 12 hours a day than tired or grumpy kids for 13 hours a day. (Our older kids wake up at 7:00 no matter what time they go to sleep. Really!)
Playing hard in the day makes kids tired by bedtime!
Our four YOUNG kids play hard during the day. They run around a lot and they spend a lot of time outside with us.
They are busy in the day, so they are tired when 7:00 rolls around.
They DO NOT nap anymore and they are just plain worn out by the evening, even if they don’t want to admit it (and they never do! haha!)
We have tried to push this back when we are on vacation, but they just aren’t as relaxed and easy-going the next day. They are a little more on edge, just like we are (as adults) when we don’t get the rest that we need. I put them to bed early because I want them to be smiling & ready to take on the day. 🙂
Plus- the are usually asleep in 5-15 minutes, so I know they are tired.
Do they ever stay up late?
YES! Once a month they each stay up late for Their Special Night. Plus, every night, our oldest son gets to have Read-Alone time in his room before bed, too. Or they can read their spelling words while they fall asleep with this little hack.
If that have football or wrestling, they are up even later, but we AIM for an early bedtime! Our younger children have a really hard time waking up for school at 7:00 am when he doesn’t get his full 12 hours of sleep, so I do try to get him to bed as early as possible.
I want him to be able to focus at school, be energetic in play and at his sports and be happy at home! This little chart can help you to know how much sleep they truly need…
Kidshealth.org says:
“Most kids between 5 and 12 get about 9.5 hours a night, but experts agree that most need more. When your body doesn’t have enough hours to rest, you may feel tired or cranky, or you may be unable to think clearly. You might have a hard time following directions, or you might have an argument with a friend over something really silly. A school assignment that’s normally easy may feel impossible, or you may feel clumsy playing your favorite sport or instrument.
Sleep Impacts Growth & Health
One more reason to get enough sleep: If you don’t, you may not grow as well. That’s right, researchers believe too little sleep can affect growth and your immune system — which keeps you from getting sick.” All in all- sleep is important! Your kids need it, even if they don’t WANT it.”
Do you have time with them in the evening?
I am not saying that this is right for everyone, so please hear me out. My husband and I both work from home, so this works for us. Two of our kids stay home with us during the day, and our older children go to school until 3:30. We have plenty of family time daily from 3:30 until bedtime.
Before my husband worked from home, I used to have the kids showered and in their pajamas before he got home, to give us more time together. Remember that it is quality over quantity.
Does it happen every night?
7:00 bedtime does not happen every single night, but it’s our goal every night. Most nights, one of our kids will be at practice until 8:00, so of course bedtime is later on that night.
Sometimes, it’s even earlier than 7:00. A few years ago, when my youngest kids were 3 & 5, they would fall asleep in the car at 6:00 on our way to drop the older kids off at practice… and I just take them up to bed and they slept ALL NIGHT LONG. They never woke up during the transition to bed. I know it’s crazy, but when I try to wake them, they are NOT happy, so on those nights, I just let it go.
It’s good for your marriage:
My husband and I see each other all day long while we work from home or while we are spending time with the kids, but at night we have time to watch a show, play a board game, etc…
Now, I am not saying that this is why we put them to bed early or that it is why we started, because it’s not, but we do enjoy that time together. Did you know that the #1 fear of preteens and teenagers is divorce among their parents? Quality time together, with your spouse, reduces this risk greatly.Make it a point to tell your children that you are going to spend time with your spouse.
Children Need Sleep
Remember- our bedtime certainly isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. It is healthy for our kids to get that amount of sleep and it helps them overall. Quality sleep + healthy foods make a huge difference for children (and adults).
On the other hand…
I wanted to share a story, for those of you that have a late bedtime. My very dear, long-time friend, Julia, has always had a late bedtime and her children follow her lead. They stay up well past 10:00 and it works for them. They sleep in every morning and they are happy, healthy, smart children. Her children are the same ages as mine. I know that I need to wait until 11:00 or later to talk to her on the phone. 🙂
All of that to say that this is what works for us, but it is up to you to find out what works best for your family.
I hope this helped to shed a little light on families with early bedtimes. Sleep well… no matter the time!♥
I wish I could say “I am with you” on this one. My daughter loves sleep, and so do I. Unfortunately for us both, I am a single mom and have been nearly her whole life. When she was little and I worked 8-5 m-f, she went to bed at 630 and I didn’t get home until at least 530. The struggle was terrible and I have felt guilty her entire life that I don’t get to spend enough time with her. I do have to squeeze in some me time too. Let the guilt overflow! She is now 7 and I at this time I work in retail, and just for an example, I didn’t get off today until 7 on a school night (Sunday) and didn’t pick her up from a friend who was sitting until after 8 ish.
I totally realize that you’re not preaching here, and I wish I could spend as much time with her as you get to with your children. It’s just different strokes for different folks I suppose. I don’t feel bad that I let her stay up sitting in bed with me until 930 tonight, because otherwise I wouldn’t have really seen her. I hope to one day be on a schedule like yours, but until then I guess I will just envy posts like these.
I love your post. My three children are 10, 8 and 6. All three f them are in bed by 7.00pm every night and my husband wakes them every morning just after 7.00am. My two oldest have a very hectic dance schedule (currently 6 days per week – which we are planning to reduce next year) and are exhausted after a full day of school and dancing. My six year old son plays hard during the day and once in bed by 7.00pm will most nights be guaranteed to be asleep by 7.15pm. On the weekends we allow our children to stay up a bit later – 8.00 – 8.30 depending on the following days events, however we are very fortunate (truly blessed) that if we put them to bed later, say 8.00 they will sleep in until 8.00. I agree that there is no right or wrong and every child is different and needs a different amount of sleep. My kids sleep well, but don’t necessarily eat all their vegetables!!! Swings and roundabouts I say 🙂
We allow for the later bedtime on the weekend, too. 😉
Be nice but as a single Dad who does everything and works till 5.30 most nights and thats finishing early for the kids what your suggesting is not a reality and I’m sure I’m not alone. I don’t want to have take out very often so i need to cook when i get home. We generally get in the door about 6.15. The kids (6 and 7) got a puppy for xmas and the deal was the dog was walked every night so we do that before its dark. The kids also have things to tell me, show me , have a cry about , argue with each other and generally have a few moments to unwind so its now 7.15-7.30 . Start cooking eat at 8pm. Now we need to do some homework and reading. This is how it goes when all goes smoothly so its only worse from here sometimes
Perfect situation maybe 6-7 is nice but my kids need me in there lives and having a bit of fun with them also more than they need the bed at 7 . They are rarely tired when they rise at 7.30 to get ready for school. They are both doing well at school albeit i could spend more time helping with homework if i could find the time. I have a great family , happy kids and smart , polite and kind kids who love there dad.
So to everyone who’s not perfect and a bit offended by this , the author of this story is right for her not for all. Perhaps sending them to bed so early all the time is time they could be doing more for them because thats what I’m doing. AND I LOVE IT.
Exactly- That’s the reason for my “Different strokes for different folks… this works for us, but do what works for you & your family” in my post. 🙂
This is such a great article and I so agree with you. Kids NEED sleep!
Our kids are all on different sleep schedules which makes life interesting. Our 8yo boy is an early riser so he’s asleep by 8pm whereas our 7yo girl doesn’t sleep often until 9.30pm (although in bed earlier) and needs every bit she can get in the mornings (just like her mama). Our tween and teen boys are sent to bed at 8.30pm, often before our youngest is asleep but we all know it’s what they need.
I know families who keep the kids up later to allow quality family time when dad is home from work and that is right for them. I LOVE your non-judgmental approach to this.
Thank you, Abbie. 🙂
I am completely with you!! my 2 little girls go to bed around the same time..and I do get some flack for it…. but doesn’t matter…they NEED IT! our kids play hard too and their days are always better when they have gotten good night sleeps!:) #earlybirdsunite!;)
We put our kids to bed earlier too. Our six month old twins go to bed by 7 but earlier if they need to. They still take three naps a day and don’t wake up from the third nap till about 5:30 (it gives me time to start dinner). Once they stop the third nap they will go to bed earlier. My 5 and 3 year old are asleep by 7:45, which is later than I’d like, but it takes a while to get the twins down. I like having our time at night, my husband and I go to bed at 10, so if the kids stayed up any later we would miss out on our time. We’ve been known and criticized for leaving family dinners by 7:00 even if that means missing out on dessert or rushing through dinner because out kids need to go to bed. It works for us!
I’ve got question for you…any idea what to do for my 5 year old who has slept through the night maybe a handful of times her whole life? Every single night she wakes and comes to my bed. I’ve finally gotten her on a schedule for bed time in the past year, she’s in bed now by 7:30. We read at least one book and I sing to her a bit. Any advise to offer? Thanks for a wonderful website! 🙂
Honestly, I would just try talking to her and explaining it. Try saying that she can’t have any electronics if she comes into your room for any reason other than being sick or hurt, until 7:00. Our 4, 6, and 8 year old would probably respond well to just talking to them, explaining how I feel crabby and grumpy when I don’t get enough rest and that having them come in so often is making me wake up more.
I feel like this next method is a bit too much for a 5 year old, but you could try this. 🙂 https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/child-in-bed/ good luck
We don’t keep the same schedule as you and I’m confident in both of us doing what’s right for our respective families.
I do have a question about your kids eating dinner less than an hour before bedtime. How does that work? We’re a whole foods family so dinner isn’t carb heavy but still the kiddos have energy to burn in the evening. I don’t think it’s healthy for adults to eat so close to rest so we’re trying to train our kids the same.
We have commitments 2 nights a week that keep us out close to bedtime so we’ve just adjusted to that. Our soon to be 5 year old is in that awkward transition stage where he cannot nap hardly but still needs to once a week.
Do your kids share rooms? Not sure if ours are just light sleepers but if one is awake so is the other in that room. Sleeping in doesn’t happen for the younger one then. They’ve been taught to sleep at least until 6 am but my husband leaves fairly early for work so if they want to see him they seem to know to get up.
I’ve also noticed a difference in our now 10 month old baby #3. He rarely takes 2 naps and if he does he does not sleep well at night. He baffles me as he genuinely seems to need less sleep than others as babies. He’s not crabby or fussy because of it, just the opposite, if he’s over rested it’s awful.
Everyone is different!
Our kids don’t share rooms. They did at one point, but they no longer do. They are also light sleepers, but we use noise machines.
Our 4 1/2 year old doesn’t nap anymore either, but he goes to bed by 7:00 every night (sometimes 6:45) because he is exhausted! If he naps, he stays up until 8:30ish, but that is very rare. 🙂
Agreed- if it works for your family, it works!
I totaly agree with you. I used to put my son to bed by 6 and he will be asleep by 7. But for the last two months no matter i put him to bed at 6 or 7 he will never fall asleep. I know he is tired but just refuse bed time. He waits for my husband to come home (usually at 8) and play a little with his dad. He falls asleep around 9-10 pm. I really want him back to his earlier bed time, cuz i know he needs his sleep. Maybe he just miss his dad so much…
Oh- that’s really hard. I wish that I and some advice for that, but could they play in the morning instead? (Just trying to think of some ideas… b/c that time for them is really important & special).
This is a great article. I often get strange looks when I tell people that we start our bedtime routine between 7:00-7:15 and all the kids are fast asleep by 7:45. My kids (1,4 and 5) wake at 6:30, because as soon as they hear the garage door open they jump out of bed and race to our bay window to wave to daddy and listen for him to honk as he drives away. We have found they really need their sleep and they are used to getting up early when I worked and now for school. I am a stay at home mom three days out of the week so like you we can do the baths before daddy gets home. We always sit as a family around the table and we have declared every Friday night family movie night. My husband and I love our kiddos and we know what is best for them and they really do need their sleep. They do fine staying up late, but in a regular day to day routine they are in bed early too. Don’t worry about what others think. Like you said, do what is best for your child. Alison (theguiltymommy.com)
🙂
Hi. I would love my son to go to bed earlier and to have more adult alone time. My daughter is only 4 mths old so she’s on a different schedule I would also love to only work until 12:40 but that’s just not possible. When you have two working parents who don’t get home until 5:30 there is no feaseable way to have the kids eat dinner and in bed at 7. It’s not just different strokes for different folks because it’s not something I am doing out of choice it is what we have to do because we have to work. It’s very hard .
Yep- I agree. This would be be very hard to get the kids to bed at 7 if you worked until 5:30. 🙂
I also have 4 kids. 9,7,5,4, and the younger two go to bed at 7 and the older two are usually in bed by 7:30. It works great for us. People are always amazed at how early our kids go to bed but it’s so important for them to get good sleep and also for my husband and I to habe some down time together in the evening.
My 5 year old has a 7pm and it’s been in place since she was 6 months old. Some people can’t wrap their heads around that, especially in Summer when it’s still light outside. They seem I think my daughter won’t be tired just because the sun is out…
I know her best and do what I need to to ensure she is healthy and happy. Sounds like you do exactly the same. 🙂
I love this post. I get comments about why I let my child stay up so late. I am a stay-at-home mom to a 4.5 year old and a newborn. The newborn is on her own schedule. She eats when she wants and sleeps when she wants. The 4.5 year old is not in school yet or daycare. My husband works overnight and leaves at 10:30 pm and then comes home to sleep all day. He also works another part-time job several days a week. My daughter will stay up until he leaves at 10:30 pm. But she doesn’t get up until 8:30 am or even 9 some days. She also gets in at least a 2 hr nap each day. She is getting her recommended amount of sleep just at a different time. However, once she starts school, she will have an earlier bed time. I plan to start in the summer and move up her bed time by a little more each week and also phase out naps. Right now, this is what works for our family.
When we first brought our baby home from the hospital, we were putting her to bed at 10 because that’s when we went to bed (and we didn’t actually know when a baby should be put to bed). I knew that we were going to have to make it earlier simply because of my work schedule. I have very early work hours, so once maternity leave was over, I was going to have to start going to bed at 8:30 again, and since hubby is a firefighter (an don shift for 24 hours at a time), I couldn’t rely on him to put her to bed.
Our initial aim was an 8 p.m. (bedtime routine complete, fed, and asleep) so that I had 30 minutes to do last minute prep for the next morning. But she kept falling asleep before bedtime, so we took her lead and kept shifting the time forward until we found what worked for her. Now, I start her bedtime routine at 6:15 and she’s in her crib by 6:45 (sometimes earlier, if she’s had bad naps, or is just extra tired). And she sleeps through the night until 6 a.m. (sometimes later).
We just did what worked for our child. It’s tough stuff, this growing up stuff. They need their rest. I was actually confused the first time someone commented on her bedtime. She’s a baby. Why would someone think 6:45 is too early for her to be asleep? It’s nice to know that I’m not crazy (or alone) in putting my little one to bed so early! 🙂
We were the same way- we kept them up until we went to bed, when they were babies. 🙂 Once they slept through the night, we bumped their bedtime up by a few hours. 🙂