Several years ago, when our child was still waking up at night (two years old at the time), I went into our Doctor’s office with this complaint… “My 2-year-old is still waking up at night .” Her advice changed our nights!
I was recently talking to a friend having the same issues, so I decided that if she needed some encouragement, others might, too.
I wanted to share this with you because our son was the BEST sleeper.
He came home from the hospital and slept through the night.
At one year of age, he continued to sleep all night long. He did this until he was about two years of age and then it started. He started waking up at night and it was happening every night. He was waking up not feeling rested… even, might I say… “Crabby”?
Once we started watching his patterns more often, we realized that it was around the same time every night. He was going to bed around 7:00 every night (6:00 if he didn’t nap at all) and waking up in the morning around 7:00 or 8:00. If he goes to bed at 6:00, he wakes up between 6:50 & 7:30 – he always gets at least 12 hours, sometimes 13, which is about what he needs.
He started waking up at midnight, too. He would wake up and cry. We would just go in, cover him up and he would go back to sleep. Sometimes he wanted a drink or different pajamas (not sure about this one, he just liked to change his pajamas – haha!)
It was impacting his mornings.
He just wasn’t acting like himself because he was waking up and not getting his much-needed rest. After a few weeks of this, I was exhausted (We have three other kids and one was a baby at the time.) He was exhausted, too.
This photo was taken around that time…
I wish I could say that it was a short phase, but it kept going. A few months later, I was even more exhausted. When his 3-year well-check came around, this was brought up and we received great advice!
THIS ADVICE CHANGED HIS SLEEP PATTERNS AND HE BEGAN TO SLEEP ALL NIGHT LONG…
What you need to do:
She told us that when WE go to bed, go into his room first, hug him, kiss him, lay with them, cover him up…. all things to rouse him just a bit. Wake him just enough to break him out of his sleep a little. What this does is that it breaks up his sleep cycle. He was waking when he was switching from his REM sleep. Do not wake them up! Just make them stir a bit.
Don’t lie down with them or talk to them. Just rub their back, tuck them in, give a kiss on the cheek… just enough to make them switch sleep cycles. This brings them out of their sleep slightly, which is just enough to make them fall back into a deep sleep and hopefully sleep through the night. I studied child development in college, so this makes complete sense to me, once she said it.
I wish I would have thought of it sooner! It worked PERFECTLY! He no longer woke up at night and he sleeps the full night. I was so excited the first night and I have been happy ever since! So the key is just to ‘stir him a bit’ before you go to bed. That was it for us! I hope that it works for you, too!
For more sleep tips, you are welcome to sign up here for my free email series called “Helping My Child Become a BETTER Sleeper.”
I will also send you a sample sleep schedule.
Ps- just for a little “inspiration”… our kids are now much older and everyone sleeps through the night… most nights. 🙂 It gets better- I promise.
These are the faces of well-rested kids. 🙂
More posts you might like:
Brittnei says
This is very interesting. My son only slept that long from about 8 weeks to 4 months and then he would wake up several times in the night. Ever since about 5 months, we started to co-sleep. He wakes up several times a night, but only to latch back onto the breast to sleep. I haven’t worried about it really because a lot of breastfeeding moms I communicate with have the same thing. I try to take him off right as he falls asleep or right when he falls asleep so he’s not trying to jump back onto the breast. He sleeps for several hours like that but then wants the breast to get back to sleep again. He’s 16 months now. Some nights he does it very frequently and it can be frustrating but all in all, it doesn’t bother me too much. I know one day he will be sleeping fine and my breastfeeding days with him will be over. I wonder what will happen by the time he’s 2 or 3. We shall see! Thanks for the tip. I will keep it in mind as his sleep cycle changes.
Your Modern Family says
Our first son did this a lot- would wake a night (in his crib) & nurse back to sleep- I really didn’t mind it too much b/c I just loved that time w/ him- but now with four, sleep is a good thing! LOL! . 🙂
Terra says
Hi there Brittnei — I’m curious…how does your son sleep now? My son will be 4 next week and has only slept through the night a handful of times…ever. He still wakes and wants to nurse, even though he says he will stop nursing when he turns 4…which is a week from today. Just curious if you’re still nursing your child to sleep…I am over here.
Keri-Anne says
thats amazing that you still nurse your son at the age of 4. My daughter is 1 and a half and i was debating stopping or not as my family thinks she is too old. I was wondering how that works with school, is it just nursing at night or in the morning too? has he asked for it at school? Not being negative at all, was just curious how it works if i were to continue nursing my daughter
Mary Newberg says
Your little girl is still in the baby/toddler stage. If you want to continue nursing, I say go for it. Don’t let other people(even family) tell you it is time to stop. Personally, I would go til about 2, then start to wean. I had 3 children and was only able to breastfeed one. He weaned himself at 16m as my milk turned bad into my 3rd pregnancy. Family tried to tell me he was too old then. That was coming from my grandmother who nursed hers til age 4! They are only a baby a little while.
Veronica says
I was surprised myself to Be nursing my son who will be 2 in March. He does not want to wean at all. It was always nursing on demand. It seems like it worked better the fourth time around and the only boy. The girls weaned off before the year. I’m holding on to this time as much as possible, but there are many days when I ask when will he be done nursing. Especially with little sleep. Good luck. Continue breastfeeding, it really is beneficial!
Samantha says
I am so grateful for your post. My son just turned 2 -‘and he wants to nurse a few times a night (incl before he flies to sleep). I am losing my mind due to the lack of sleep. I am feeling conflicted as I work full time and have to get up for work, but I am not willing to let him cry-it-out either. We also have a 5-year-old and he loved nursing too, but I finally eased him off using the ‘no cry sleep solution’ method. He was much easier to wean. Not sure what to do. Would love to continue to pick your brain on this topic!
Kari says
@Angie Pannkuk, How many children do you have and how have you handled their sleep issues? I never could get mine to sleep thru at 4 months although that was definitely would’ve wonderful!
Kari says
*although that definitely would’ve been wonderful.
Zool says
Hi , my son is 2 years old and reading your stories makes me realize there is something very wrong with his sleep, he wakes up at night around 6/7 times , he takes 4/5 bottles of milk . I have tried everything and to be honest I have 2 other boys so when he does that I’m dead exhausted to keep him crying and just surrender and give him the milk! I don’t know where to start all this and he sleeps beside me ! Any guidance without judging would be appreciated, I’m a mum of 3 boys with no help around.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
No judging from me… we’re all moms 🙂
I would talk to your doctor, but I think he could probably cut out all of the milk at night. You could replace it with water or make it cold so he doesn’t want it as much (that’s what we did). Plus, they will eat more in the day if they aren’t getting the calories at night. (ask your dr. first). But.. .once the milk isn’t there at night, the wake-ups should stop.
Diana Luna says
Hi Zool. I have been goingthrough the exact same problem with my 2 yr old. He turned 2 in Feb. He used to be amazing sleeper then a couple months before his 2nd bday it all changed. I was wondering if your child is now sleeping all night. I have 2 older boys they never did this too me. I just really want better sleep for us
Jenn says
I could have written this post – exactly what happens with my son. He turned 21 months on May 7. It is frustrating and tiring at times but I also realize it won’t last forever. And the bond we have is amazing. I love it and so does my husband.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh you’re kidding! Good luck!!!
Courtneyk says
My three year old only sleeps in his bed 5 hours before waking and joining us in our bed. I was awake and just knew he would be up soon to sleep with us. I googled ideas to help him and found this. I was sceptical but i figured he’ll be up soon anyway if it doesn’t work. I went to him and fixed his blanket and caressed his face and he gave a stuttered breath and shifted. I went to bed and amazing he slept alone until 8:40 am! Wow. Something so simple. I hope it continues to work for us.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I’m so glad you’re having success!! Fingers crossed you are all able to get some more sleep!
Chris says
I read the article with my wife because our son has a sleeping pattern issue as well, and, my wife was excited there’s an answer out there. I had to then inform her that these people that are writing the article are a bunch of unethical losers who take advantage of people’s love for their kids to sell their f*****g products. Thats in the “I just found out that Lully makes this little product” section. And its underlined with UPDATE. As I said, a bunch of unethical people. Shame on you
Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy says
This is interesting but I’m not sure it’s working for our son :(. Our son is 20 months old and goes to bed around 7pm, we always go in to him before we go to bed to kiss him good night, make sure his blankets are on properly etc. He always only sleeps through to no later than 6am and is always waking at the same time each morning at 4.45am. We just can’t figure it out! It may be that he’s looking for his pacifier or he’s hungry…but it’s always the same time!
Your Modern Family says
Ugh- I wish I could help. OUr son was waking at midnight. When we started doing this (enough to ‘wake’ him a little bit), he started sleeping all night. Good luck!! Post back if you find something that works. I wish that I had something to tell you that would help.
OH- I just remembered that our oldest son would wake like this for his pacifier, so we started keeping 3 in his bed- all in the corner, so he knew where they were! haha. 🙂
Jodie says
If I were to start trying this is it something you have to constantly do or do they learn to sleep through the night again. I’m worried it’ll backfire and my daughter will wake too much and then want me. She is very good at falling asleep on her own when laid in her crib awake at night. It’s staying asleep. She generally wakes the same time every night around midnight.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
No- it just takes about a week and then they stop waking up. They might start again a year or so later, but just do it again.
Steph says
I do the same with the pacifiers got my almost 4yr old. He sleeps ttthenogtthenoght aasat midnight I go in and kiss him tell hhimi love him and put the blanket back on. My almost 2 yr old completely didiffent though 🙁
Giovanna Brin-Ramirez says
Hi, when exactly do you go to stir them a bit? My 22 month old goes to sleep around 10pm (I know it’s so late, but he’s just not sleepy at all before that) and wakes up around 10am. Would I stir him around midnight? And how many nights so you do this for?
Thank you in advance for the clarification!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Usually around midnight 🙂 I still do it b/c I just check on them every night & give them a little kiss, cover them up, etc… 🙂
OneMommy says
My son is 4 and has only slept through the night a few nights in a row, ever. I am definitely pinning this and going to try it with ours tonight!
Your Modern Family says
Good luck- I hope it works for you, too! 🙂
krystle says
Any ideas to get a 2 year old sleep in his bed he was an awesome sleeper when he had a crib n he wants it back but he was too big for it as he is as big as a 3 and a half year old n almost hurt his self climbing out of it nothing is working .
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Honestly- we used our video monitor for this (I use it for so much!)! haha!! So we would watch our daughter when we started her in her toddler bed. The second that she would get out of bed, I would go in and say “Allie! No Ma’am! Get back into bed. If you want to come out, you call for Mommy.” I just had to do that a few times and that was it. She has been in it for over 6 months (I think) and still calls for me when she is ready to wake up.
Sarah says
We use a “bunny clock” that shows a rabbit awake and playing on one half and him sleeping in his bed on the other half. It’s programmed to have the bunny “wake up” at the time we want our kids to wake up. We use it for nap and bed times and it works like a charm once they learn how to use it. We trained them by having it wake up before they usually do for a few days and then gradually adding time until they were getting up on time. It helped with late night and very early morning waking as well as waking too early to get up. We got ours on Amazon and I think there are a few other options, too (a friend has one that glows blue like the moon or yellow like the sun).
Jessica Garcia says
My daughter had a really hard time transitioning to her bed from the crib. We found that it helped to take the crib mattress and put it on her bed and have her sleep on it. We did this for about a week then took the crib mattress away and she did great in the bed. Also, my mother gave me a rail which we attached to the bed and I think that it helped her to feel more secure, more like she was in a bigger crib. The rail was intended to keep her from rolling off of the bed and when this was no longer an issue we removed the rail as well. She is 3 now and is about to be a big sister 😉 Hope this helps!
Jessica
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
That’s a great idea! Thanks for sharing, Jessica!
Rebekah says
i just stumbled across this post. Our son is 3 1/2 and we have that same experience. He just doesn’t sleep thru. He wakes up yelling most nights. He just doesn’t want to be alone. Did your child grow out of this? It’s so exhausting.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Ours always outgrew it with consistency (“I’ll come in and give you a hug, but not sleep in here.”)
Good luck!
HJ says
Mine was 4 and waking up with nightmares every night at 1am, almost on the dot. I wasn’t a live-in step mommy yet, but I convinced her dad to switch from dessert every night (fruity sweet yogurt, ice cream, you know, DESSERT) to an after-lunch affair (and a lot less often) and instituted a bedtime snack of cheesestick or apple & peanut butter, something with a lot of fat & protein, and only a little sugar. From the very first night, she didn’t wake up anymore. Worked like a charm.
10-12 hours is a LONG time to go without food, especially for tiny tummies. Give them something right before bed that will keep their blood sugar stable through the night, and I think a lot of these sleep issues would be solved. Not all, but a lot, and I think especially if they’re waking up at the same time every night. If you’ve excluded environmental factors (like the neighbor revving their loud diesel at 4:45am, or even just kicking the covers off during a lighter sleep stage) switching up food is worth trying to see if it helps. Heck, I made the same changes for myself (no sweets after dinner, always a snack if dinner was early or I stayed up late) and it’s made my sleep a lot more predictable and restful. And a lot fewer crabby headaches in the morning for everyone.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
So true- sugary snacks aren’t going to fill little tummies for very long!
Terri Grothe says
My daughter did that as well, I didnt think it would ever end, but it did and now my bed is for my hubby and i, no child allowed 🙂
Vicki @ Knocked Up & Abroad says
How interesting! Thanks for sharing. I have a 2 year old that goes through cycles of doing this too. I will be sure to try this when it comes around again 🙂
Kathy says
Im new here and totally thrilled. Thank you sooooo much for posting this! Im going through this right now and will be putting your suggestions into effect ASAP!!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Good luck, Kathy! It seriously works (for us anyways). ON nights when I forget, he wakes up (like clock-work!) but when I remember, it works. SOmetimes I really move him around (move his legs, fix his blankets, rub his hair & kiss his head. All enough to really ‘stir’ him, but not wake him up completely 🙂
Marne D says
My daughter goes to bed between 8-8:30 pm and we(my husband and I) go to bed shortly after this we are in bed by 9pm. So I don’t think this will help us much. She is also an early riser and 5-530am. And also waking during the night at least once but sometimes up to three times. She has always been this way. Talking to our docter he said because I breast fed and for just short of a year she was used to getting woke up to eat. She is also getting to the age were they remember their dreams and can wake up from that. She has been waking up and wanting to rock and as soon as I sit in the rocking chair she falls asleep with in two minutes. I am trying to let her cry it out and I will wait 10-15 minutes and sometimes she will go back to sleep. I have a full time job and I am exhausted and getting very crabby with my family because I need the rest. Any suggestions for me?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
How old is she? Two?
I would probably just go in and not pick her up or anything, just cover her up and leave. We need our sleep as much as they do. I would do what you are doing, although it is hard.
Aimee says
Do you have to continue this for the rest of his life then? Lol or when can you stoping erupting his sleep when u go to bed?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
haha- no. I just had to do it for a few weeks. 🙂 Then about a year later he did it again and I did the routine for a week or so and he stopped again. )
Shawna says
I want to try this, but I think my 2.5 year old daughter is a very light sleeper. I’m afraid that stirring her up just a bit would be difficult as she wakes up the second I touch her door or walk in her room. I’m pretty desperate though and can try it a few times to see what would happen.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Our son is a very light sleeper, too. I’d give it a try. If I wake him up, I just give him some water and kiss him and tell him to go back to sleep.
Tanya says
My son is almost 9 and when he sees something that scares him, he then has nightmares and wakes up nightly. It was 4:30 am, now it’s 2 am and he wants us to lie with him. I do the above. Every night I kiss him and sometimes he even opens his eyes, but mostly rolls over, is this enough or do I have to make him move etc? He still wakes up at 2 am saying nightmare. It becomes a habit I think. This happened when he was 3.5 and watched something scary and it took 3 years for him to stop waking up and coming in our room. I am hoping this does not last and goes away soon. Thanks
Ana says
Hello my son is 2. 6 years old. He is waking up every night, we are desperate. We just cant fine out what to do. We have tried everything. Tonight I will try this out. I am not sure how should I do this. At about 8 I put him in his bed. We pray and kiss good night. Then he will hug me and falls asleep. Since he is a very light sleeper i will quietly get out of his bedroom. My question is…. When should I try to wake him up just enough to help him change to rem sleep…? Like an hour later or as soon as he falls sleep. . .?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I would try it. I would wake him right before you go to bed (we go around midnight, so that’s when we do this). 🙂 I give him a kiss & says “I love you, E. Night night” and its just enough to wake him a little bit. He doesn’t open his eyes, just rolls over & we cover him back up.
Good luck!!
Tracy says
When our daughter started to wake up in the middle of the night, around 2.5 years old at which point she was fully day and night trained, (just short on sleepy verbal skills), we thought she was having nightmares. Ultimately she would pee,(we assumed out of fear) and then she would get extremely angry and upset. Then one night on a hunch we realized she might actually have to pee, we were l little slow on the uptake, we regularly asked her and she always said no. We started taking her 2/3 asleep to the bathroom, as soon as her little bum touched the toilet seat, and with her head resting on my shoulder, she did in fact have to pee, after wiping up, it was back to bed and back to sleep like she never missed a beat. She was actually upset at being woken up, and then not being listened to.
She never actually peed the bed, just Dad trying to comfort her, and it was not her fault, she was trying to tell us, we just weren’t listening. Think outside the box, what have you got to loose for trying something that may or may not make complete sense at the time. Parenting is like a bad game of charades with competitors that don’t know the rules and refuse to tell you the answer.
Best of luck figuring out your problems and finding solutions. You will make it through this, you must believe that.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
so funny!! Our 2 year old does this, too – she wakes if she has to use the potty (but on the plus side, she hasn’t wet her diaper at night since 23 months old) 🙂
Dev Amos says
Same with all 8 of our kids…
Christianne says
My 6 year old wakes up every night wanting us too so If this doesn’t work for you I have a suggestion that worked for us. We put a sleeping bag on our bedroom floor and told her if she wakes up and is scared she can come sleep in our room. This works really well as it never wakes us up zzzzz. Now I just have to figure out how to get my EBF 5 month old to stop waking up for feeds 5x a night.
Lea says
This is interesting, and I can’t wait to try it tonight 🙂 my 2.5 year used to be a great sleeper.. But is now waking between 3.30/4 am and that’s to start the day.. My almost 5 year old still jumps into bed with us at some point in the night, he has mastered not waking us up climbing in because we send him back to his bed…
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck- I hope it works for you. 🙂
Julie says
Do you think this will work on a 4 year old. She is able to fall asleep by herself at 7.30pm – 8pm but wakes at 1am or 3.30am – 4am and comes into our room. Before I go to bed I tuck her in and remove the books she was reading and I might wake her up by accident but she just rolls over and falls back to sleep but still wakes up in the middle of the night coming into our room:( However I did notice the last two nights she said something to me….guessing she was dreaming about something.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I would try it. I also found that when our kids started waking up when they needed to go to the bathroom- it lasted a while & we went through this until they were able to go by themselves. Try out my post on night-training & see if that makes a difference if the waking before bed doesn’t help.
Nicole G says
This REALLY WORKS!!! I read a ton of blogs, and I never comment, but I am so thankful and thrilled that I stumbled upon yours that I felt the need to comment! I have a 27 month old son, and he has been waking up throughout the night on and off since he was about 15 months. He had been previously sleeping through the night since about 1 month old, 12 hours straight with a 2-3 hour nap during the day. We could not figure out why this started and were unable to change it (and we are not fans of sleep training). It began to get REALLY exhausting about 3 months ago when we had our daughter. Waking up to put him back down 2-3 times a night plus then waking up around 6am to nurse her has been taking a toll on us. Three nights ago, my husband and I saw this and said, “What’s the worst that could happen? He’s already waking up at night.” So we tried this… And IT WORKED!! And this has been the third consecutive night that it worked!! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this tip! I wasn’t sure whether we had to continue doing it every night or if once we did it a few times he would stop waking up, but I just saw your comment above saying that if you don’t do it, yours will wake up like clockwork! So we will be continuing to rouse him before we lay down! It is so worth the extra 30 seconds to get him to sleep through the entire night! I really cannot thank you enough!!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh- I am so glad that it helped!!! 🙂 That’s awesome news. Thanks for leaving that comment- I love to know that these tips help!! yay!
Melissa Reinhardt says
Nicole- Did the one time going in to disrupt his sleep cycle before you and your husband went to bed solve all of the 2-3 night wakings or did you do it multiple times throughout it the night? We are in the same boat and I’m going to give it a shot but I’m wondering if I also need to set my own alarm to try and disrupt his sleep midway through the night? Thanks!!!
Kara @The Joys of Boys says
Thank you for this! I can’t wait to try it out tonight. My 2 year old sounds a lot like yours. He was the perfect baby and perfect sleeper until the past month or so and is now getting up for drinks or wanting to read books in the middle of the night. We’re going crazy. 🙂 I’ll definitely give this tip a try!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!
Kellie says
Such simple but such great advice, I’m so glad it worked for you. I’ll be sharing this with my readers too, hopefully others will have the same success as you.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thanks, Kellie!
Heather says
I will be trying this tonight. Thanks
dee says
Hi my 5 month old is waking every 40minutes throughout the night,ive tried your tip but he just completly wakes up and ive to go through the whole process again of getting him to sleep again which can take up to an hour. He used to be a great sleepet up until 3 months,even his naps are disturbed now,he might sleep 10mins n is crying then.what am i doing wrong??
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I think for a 5 month old, you should read the book The Baby Whisperer- it was fantastic!!!!!
April says
Does your child have reflux? My son would nap for 15 minutes then cry. That was why.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
No- he is just four, so he is really getting too old for a nap, but still sort of ‘needs one’. That hard transition point.
Patti says
Sharing this valuable info! Thanks!
Gelly Mc says
Hi Becky.
My son is 3 years old, he is a very active boy, loves to run jump, energetic but won’t take naps. He goes to bed at 7.30 and usually wakes up at 6.30. But these couple of months he would wake up around 2 am or 3.40 am and go back to sleep at 5 am. It use to be ones a week, but now it’s like everyday …. i am getting tired…. will try to wake him up like you advice, hope it works so so so desperate….
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!!
Joy R. says
Wish this would be something that could help my little guy. He’s a year and a half, and has never slept through the night. He usually wakes up several times BEFORE we go to bed, and then multiple times after we come to bed. He sleeps with his crib side-carred to the bed, and we generally do disturb him a bit when we come to bed, so that’s already happening.
I’ve heard of this tip though, and glad it helps other folks.
carly goldsbrough says
My daughter used to wake several times I took her to the doctor and was told she had thread worm I had no idea what this was she took medication and we all had to take a tablet and that first night after seeing doctor she slept much better some people have it and don’t even know they have it but it disturbs children at night worth a check x
Em says
He is having so much trouble going to sleep and waking regularly throughout the night. Thank you so so so so so so so so much
Crystal says
Becky!!! You are my savior!! Well at least your pediatrician’s advice is hehe. We were desperate to have our son Chase sleep past 4:45 am and one night or should I say morning with red burning eyes I came a cross this blog! And Eureka! We have been doing this since then and it works like a charm. The earliest he has gotten up since we started is 6:30! *happy, happy dance*. Thank you, thank you! And please thank your pediatrician! She is obviously one of a kind!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
No way!! That’s awesome- I’m so glad that it was helpful! 😉
Christina says
I’ve been trying this method with my 2.5yr old son who goes to bed at 7:15pm and consistently wakes up around 4:30am. It’s then a battle to get him back to sleep or at least stay in his room til 6am. This method had only worked 50% of the time. I’ve also tried shortening nap time, eliminating the nap and adjusting bedtime and I can’t for the life of me get my son to sleep through the night.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Hmm… what does he want when he is waking up? Have you tried the super nanny method?
TwinMommy says
What’s the super nanny method? I am also dealing with this issue with 2.5 y.o. twins 🙁
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Continuing to put them back to bed… over & over, without an explanation each time.
Y-Quyen says
This has been haOpening with my 1 yr old son for about the last 2 weeks. He used to sleep 9-5 in his crib, then I’d pull him in bed with me and he’d sleep till 7/7:30. Then, the “wake up-transfer” started getting earlier and earlier, until now he goes to bed around 8, but wakes up screaming/crying around 10 and won’t go back to sleep unless he’s in bed with one of us (my hubby and I have started taking turns sleeping with him so one of us gets a good nights rest). In addition to the middle of the night transfer, he’s been waking up earlier (usually 5:30-6:30, but the other morning it was 4:30!!!!)
Do you think he’s too young to start this technique? I’m so tired and miss sleeping with my husband
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I’d give it a shot. 🙂 Let me know!
Karen says
Y-Quyen – Did this work for you? My son is almost 15 months and has never been a great sleeper, despite our trying different routines. He is currently going to bed at 7:30pm, and will wake at around 3 or 4 and will cry until you go in. Then we have to lay with him in his bedroom (spare bed) and stay there the rest of the night. Like you, we take turns so at least one gets a decent night sleep. Even then he is waking for the day at 5:30am.
Caitlin says
Going to give this a try , my 13 month old keeps waking up at least 3 times a night, mostly teething (teething has not been kind , four teeth almost through the gum and all of her one year molars starting in). But still going to try it thanks for posting this info.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck! I hope it works for you. 🙂
Miranda says
I def. Want to try this. My almost 3 yr old fights naps but when she does fall asleep sleeps almost 3 hrs. Her sleep has gotten worse since me having her sister and she wakes up more during the night than baby!! Its exhausting! How do you do this? I read and sing to her before bed. Do you think I should cut nap and get her to bed 7? Any advice welcomed! :). I am positive she is not getting enough rest!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Our 2 1/2 year old is skipping her naps, too, but I am just starting to get rid of them & put her to bed around 6:45 or 7 because she is ready and she is sleeping all night until about 8:30 now. (She was starting to wake at night again when she would nap).
Jenine says
This worked ! Ok so far day 1 but after months and months of night terrors and sleep walking this is the first night he was ok. We were desperate for sleep as we have a 4 month old baby and between her and the 3 yr old waking I was up 5-6 x a night. Most of these were from the 3 yr old. We woke him before bed to retuck etc and this time made sure he was fully awake. So amazing he slept all night until 700 am without any sleep issues! Thanks for posting this! Hope this is our solution for all of us.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Awesome!
jamie says
Hi!
I’ve looked everywhere for info to help me with my 3.5 year old, she has woke up every night screaming kicking her feet and appearing to be extremely frustrated, she won’t talk to me while this is happening, when I ask her what’s wrong she screams louder, this at times goes on for an hour, only to happen again in an hour or so, she was a preemie born at 34 weeks, but is a very normal healthy toddler, cranky all day and I get no sleep, I’ve read the fact that this has gone on her whole life isn’t night terrors even though it seems that way, I’ve mentioned it to the dr many times who only says, nothing other than hmm she will out grow it, I’m loosing my mind what I would give to sleep a full night!! Any ideas or suggestions?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Have a you taken her to the doctor to be sure it isn’t an ear infection or anything like that? If everything is good, I would try my post on “how to keep your kids to stay in their beds” https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/child-in-bed/
Jamie says
Becky, sorry it took me awhile to respond holidays get crazy, she used to have a lot of ear infections and sinus infections when she was just a newborn, she was also a preemie but now has tubes in her ears shes on her 2nd set, I tried waking her up slightly shortly after falling asleep 1/2 hr to hour after sometimes helps sometimes doesn’t usually shes hard to arouse during that time so not sure if I’m not getting her awake enough or its just not helping. I’m starting to think she will never sleep through the night.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙁 I hate that for you. I would ask her pediatrician at your next visit because they might have some good advice- ours always do.
tadams says
Cut out dairy products. Ears and dairy don’t mix for me… and my son. No dairy equals no ear issues. Good luck.
mamajen121 says
My son did this also. Almost everynight. It was aweful. He could never tell me why was wrong…would be awake but had a far away look on his face…would scream and cry until suddenly he would be fine and go back to sleep until he did it again. We started a very rigorous bedtime schedule. Getting ready at the same time everynight and doing the same steps in the same order. We would talk about the fact that he was safe, that were there for him and in the other room, got a night light so his room wasn’t dark and then would say a good dream prayer and talk about how Jesus would watch over him and keep him safe while he slept. (Sorry don’t know if you are religious.) Amazingly it has stopped. He hasn’t woken up for over 3 months now and he was doing it nearly every night. Good luck.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
yes- I tell our kids, that, too! I tell them that Jesus puts a protective bubble around them when they ask him to… and that he sends his soldiers to stand guard at our house, like hedges surrounding the house. 🙂 It certainly puts me at ease and it works for them, too. Love that advice! Thanks!
Nicole says
My son co-slept with us until he was 1 1/2 and he is now almost 3 and still waking up. We are exhausted! I am trying this tonight though! Hoping it works!!
Amanda says
I’m crossing my fingers this will do the trick for my 4 year old. He’s been waking 2-3 times a night for probably a year now. It’s so frustrating because he developed ninja skills and crawls into our bed without waking us up so my husband & I wake up in the morning to him in between us. So we don’t have the chance to take him back to bed because we don’t know he’s there until we wake up in the morning. I asked our pediatrician at his 4 year appt for suggestions and was appalled when she said he needs to go to sleep by himself (not that appalling or unreasonable) and lock him in his room overnight. Ummm?? I’m looking to help him sleep, not traumatize the kid. Not to mention the safety issue of getting to him in case of a fire or other emergency. I loved her up until that comment. I don’t judge parents who lock their kids’ doors for other safety reasons like sleepwalking or whatever but the idea just does not sit well with me at all. So anyway, thank you for the suggestion & hopefully it works for us!
Juliet says
I tried this with my 3yo. We have been trying to wean her out of our bed into her own room. She wants to stay with us, and I totally see her point! But I don’t get much sleep with her in the bed. She will go down in her room okay, but get up in an hour or two and send the rest of the night with us. When I tried this- go in and rearrange blankets, kiss, etc, it accelerated her return to the big bed. Putting her back in her room at that point just feels cruel and not worth the fight. Any advice?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
NOt really- I would just say to pick something and stick with it. I would just keep putting her back to bed if that is the end result that you want, but I know its really hard. 🙁
Kelly jones says
Just found this post on Facebook going to try it my I’ll boy slept great from birth up to 12 hours a nite he’
hit 19 mths then started waking up loads. We have put him into a toddler bed and tried every thing new blankets the supernanny technique which made him worse 10 weeks of no sleep he goes to bed between 830-9 wakes up at 12 or 1 then at 3or 4 am in the end I put him into bed with me as I shattered. I have watched him when he is asleep and he’s twitching like mad. Some times I can get him straight off by putting his blanket on other times it can take 5 times within his first or second wake up This as been going on for 10 weeks now so will try it tonight how long do u wait after he’s been asleep to go into him I go to bed between 1130/12.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
good luck!!!!
SueBee says
For those who need help with child who gets up and comes into your bed: We went through the same thing and this is what worked for us. When our son was about 3 we put a sleeping bag on the floor next to my side of the bed and we told him if he was scared or needed company in the night he could come in and sleep in the bag, but he was NOT to wake us up. He was always put to bed in his own bed after the bedtime routine, but knew he could come to our room if he needed to. And the very first night we did that, we woke the next morning after a good night’s sleep and there he was in the sleeping bag waiting for us to wake up. After a few months, he came in less and less and it gradually stopped.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Love that tip!
Amy says
My 5 year old has been waking up anytime between 1-3 am for well over a year now. She gets up and comes down to my bed, or starts playing. the biggest thing is getting into the cupboards. She will have a couple yogurts or get into treats she isn’t suppose to. I thought a heavier bedtime snack like some oatmeal would help but that didn’t change anything. My room is in the basement and carrying her up two flights of stairs while I am half asleep is not an easy task. Any ideas to get her to sleep through the night and stay in her bed? I don’t usually hear her up, it’s when I go to roll over and realize I can’t because she hogs the bed lol
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
haha!! For a 5 year old, I would go with a reward system, honestly. 🙂 Like one cotton ball per night & when she fills up her jar with cotton balls, she goes to the movies. ?
Mary says
Thank you so much for sharing this advice!!!! It has worked for us all week!! Our little girl is 2 & her little brother will be making his arrival next month. I was worried about waking up extra times with her but now I will just go in and rouse her to say goodnight at a time when I am already up with him. She is so sweet, she never fully wakes up when I rouse her but she usually says I love you too 🙂 thanks again!!!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I’m so glad that it worked!! 🙂
PS- how extremely sweet that she says I love you!!! Be still my heart….
Camie says
When my daughter started waking up in the middle of the night, we bought a Christmas tree timer and plugged a night light into it. We told her that if she woke up and the light was on, she needed to go back to sleep. If the light was off, she could get out of bed. We did have to talk about reasons she could get out of bed like go to the bathroom, sick, get a drink of water, but other than those kind of things, she needed to “roll over and go back to sleep.” This worked amazingly!! I know we set consequences from the beginning (Taking favorite toy away for a day, not let her do an activity she wanted to, etc.) but I don’t remember having any problems. I feel like she just didn’t understand when it was ok.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
That is so clever!!
stephanie says
My son is 2 1/2 he was an amazing sleeper right from day 1 then about a month before our second was born who is now 4 months our oldest started waking up in the middle of the night and needing to be in mommy and daddy’s bed and refused to go back into his bed, now 5 months later he’s refusing to even sleep in his room even if I lay down with him he wants to be in our room and now he won’t stay in bed throws a tantrum unless I lay down with him till he falls asleep sometimes takes an hour or more he doesn’t want my husband he only wants mommy sometimes he sleeps all night and won’t wake up till and out 5 other nights he’s waking up almost every hour on the hour. He’s very routine always has been same thing every night since the day he was born bedtime 8 I’ve tried no naps earlier bed time… I’m almost at my white end… any advice?
stephanie says
Also he’s still nursing that I’ve cut him off from till 5 in the morning he wakes up in the middle of the night wants boo I won’t give him any till 5 or later… we up graded his bed to a big boy bed he picked out his own sheets we try and make his room exciting but he doesn’t want to sleep there I need him to sleep on his own sleep I’m his bed and sleep all night long!! Not sure what happened or what went wrong :s
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I hear this so much – that two year olds wake up again. I would try my “keep your kids in their bed” post. Its a little more intense, but it worked for our kids.
Heather Churney says
This was great!! My 20 month old wakes up crying and upset MOST mornings…it is exhausting! We linked night terrors and random wake ups to his REM cycles, but have not tried this. Most the time her wakes up and screams 2-3 hours after bedtime and then again 1-2 hours before he gets up. Its usually less than a minutes and he can generally calm himself, but he wakes up SO grumpy and I am desperate for a happy baby! Will give it a shot 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh good luck!! 🙂
Vanessa says
I inadvertently started this with my daughter and after reading this I recognize it does help her sleep a lot better than trying to get her to relax completely. She has had sleep problems since birth with night terrors and now on meletonin. But on the nights when we get a little silly before bed she does sleep through the night. Thanks for the awesome insight
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh good. I’m glad that it helps!
Bethany says
I’m desperate for my children to start sleeping through the night. My oldest was a great sleeper until we moved when she was 3, now 6 and up at least once a night, my 3year old up at least 2 times a night and my 19month old up 2 times a night. With #4 on the way we need to sort this out. They are in bed between 7-730pm and do seem to wake at the same time each night. Wish me luck!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!!
Amy says
Thank you so much for sharing. My 2 year old has been waking up 2-3 times a night every night for a few months, and my husband and I are exhausted! I am trying this tonight!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!
Dana Bozeday says
so excited when I read this post because my son, who is 3, wakes up every night between 12 and 2. Some nights he is easy to get back to sleep and others not so much. So I have tried this….almost every night and it has made no difference. Still waking up. I move him around (if he is in a funky position in bed) kiss him, rub his head, whisper good night. Some times he has even talked to me in his sleep. Nothing. Still up. Am I doing it wrong? I was so hopeful this would help.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Hmm- I know this will sound strange, but do you think that he is waking because he has to use the bathroom? Our daughter (2 1/2 did this for a while, until I started waking her up to take her to the potty before bed. She now skips that wake-up time. She didn’t really understand it, because she wasn’t telling me that she has to go, but it has helped completely 🙂
Justeen says
How many nights do you wake them for?
Our 2 year wakes around 11.30pm/12am every night…
I’m going to give this a go tonight
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Just about a week & then they just stop waking (well- Ethan did, anyway) . Good luck!!
laurie adams says
My 6 yr old started waking in the middle of the night about a year ago. I am going to try this! Thank you.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!
Fathima says
Will this work on a 5 year old? My husbands daughter does this, and he’s convinced it’s cos she’s troubled with him and her mommy being divorced. However, they’ve been divorced since she was 2. So I’m not so sure.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I’m not sure? I’d give it a try. 🙂 The logic behind it makes me think that it would work on any age.
Danelle says
Have you heard if this helps children younger than two? My son is 14 months and goes to bed at 7 and has been waking at 5. His naps have been out of whack too…. I don’t know if it’s teething or what… But it does make me nervous to go in and “wake” him up…
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I’m not sure- I haven’t tried it with our kids before they were two, but if you try it, let me know. 🙂
Sleepingnotsobeauty says
Our “little” one is 5.5 yrs now and always has slept on her own pretty well, has a regular 7.30pm bedtime and prefers her own bed, however since she’s been about 1 year old she does wake regularly at 2am with what we, the doctor and her paediatrician reckon are “leg cramps” no other physical evidence other than the pain that has her crying most times. This happens about 3 or 4 nights a week but as she’s been getting older it has been reducing and I sometimes get 7 nights (in a row) break in a month (over the past year mainly). I usually give pain relief, small drink of water, a heated teddy (by her legs) and I sit and rub her legs gently until she settles . I’ve tried a placebo pain relief but it does not work so I do think it’s genuine. We always do check on her before we go to bed and sometimes she does stir, so I’m now wondering if this coincides with the nights I get sleep??? Could it be possible that she’s waking from sleep pattern, not actually pain but then “feeling” an ache or two? It’s a puzzle, but I’ll try to really stir her each night before we go to bed and see if it makes a difference … But if you’ve any other suggestions I’m very ready to hear them!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
IT could be. I’d try waking her again to see if it works.
PS- My husband said to tell you that when he was that age, his growing pains were so awful in his legs.
Hope that helps!
Sleepingnotsobeauty says
Thanks! Yes, I also remember awful “growing pains” (I’m over 6ft, 183cm) but cannot remember them waking me. Hubby looks blank when I mention growing pains so I guess he never suffered! By the way it worked last night, but I’ll keep an eye on it over a longer period to see what happens. You never miss sleep till it’s gone…
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Me, either, but Mickey swears by it. I just never felt them at all (lucky me, I guess)?
I’m so glad that it worked last night!!! WOO-HOO!!! Keep me posted! 🙂
Jenny says
Taking a little magnesium daily will fix restless legs and leg cramps. It did for me. You can buy it in a powdered form and mix with your liquid of choice.
Dessy says
My daughter is 5mo now. I usually breasfeed her at 7pm and put her to bed at 8pm. She wakes up at night once or twice for breastfeed, while she closes her eyes. But she always wake up before 6am (sometimes even at 5am), which means she sleeps less than 10 hours at night. During the day, it’s not easy to take her to nap. She naps only for 30 minutes sometimes, twice. I’m worried because I don’t think she sleeps enough.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I am a worrier, too. I would check with your doctor, but I would think that if she seems happy and rested, she is probably fine. 🙂
Nikki says
Our 4 year old wakes nearly every night at 2.30/3.00 stays awake for up to 2hours. She goes to bed at 7.30 asleep by 8.00. I lift her at 10.30 every night to bring her to the toilet, she wakes up a bit. This doesn’t work for us. I am so tired, as is she.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I will ask this question on Facebook tonight at 7:00 EST and hopefully we will get some good answers!
http://www.facebook.com/Yourmodernfamily
Mama K says
I am SO grateful to you for sharing. We have struggled for months and months and months…maybe even a year?…of sleepless nights, with my husband and I taking turns to try to settle our screaming-for-no-apparent-reason- 4-year old. We’re sleeping through the nights again, HURRAY! Bless you!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
YAY!!!! I’m so glad!
Missy says
Can you try and explain this a little better… I’m a little confused by your instruction. So lay in bed with them until they almost fall asleep and then wake them??
becky says
No. So put them to bed and then hours later, after they are asleep, just before YOU go to bed, just go into their room, wake them just a bit by giving them a kiss or fixing their covers. Just enough to make them like move around. That’s it. 🙂
kate says
Curious: is there a certain time that is better to wake them at night? you mentioned you woke your child at midnight when you went to sleep but i am 21 weeks pregnant and going to bed these days by 9:30 or 10pm! Is that too early to try this method or in order for it to work, would we need to stay awake until a bit later to rouse her?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Nope- anytime works. Good luck!
Laura says
My daughter is 2.5 and has always been a rockstar sleeper. About a month ago, she chewed through her pacifier (that she only used for sleeping), and I was afraid to give her another one and risk her chewing through it and choking in her sleep. Since then, she will only nap maybe two days out of the week. She falls asleep fine at night (7:30pm), but has been waking around 3am claiming to be hungry. So we take her upstairs, feed her some cheerio’s, and she goes back to sleep until 7:30am. Am I starting a bad habit letting her eat in the night? Do you think it is related to losing her paci, or is it just an unfortunate coincidence? Any thoughts? My 3 month old now sleeps better than my 2.5 yo!
George says
After reading this email I followed the instructions and went in to my four year old at around 10 ( other nights it would be 9:30 ish) and stroked her hair and gave her a gentle kiss. Enough that she rearranged herself. She slept all night. I hoped it wasn’t a coincidence and did the same thing the next night and again she slept all night. She used to be a fantastic sleeper. Even with a cold she would sleep all night. Even when she went into a bed she would wait in the morning until we got her up. But by the age of 3 1/2 it changed. Waking became the norm. Once or twice a night. Sometimes I lost count. Sometimes with a legitimate reason, sometimes an excuse, sometimes she isn’t very awake and doesn’t remember waking. So when the third night came and she slept all night I was over the moon. After about day ten it stopped working. One night she would sleep through and the next not. Now we are back to waking once or several times. Any advice would be appreciated.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Hmmm… This might sounds weird, but I sometimes wake our son up all the way to go to the bathroom before I go to bed. I found that he was waking to go to the bathroom, so if I took him, it eliminated that later wakeup. Give it a try. 🙂 Good luck!
Tori says
Oh my goodness! I am going to try this tonight! My 6yo has been waking up at least 1-2x a night for the last couple of months or so. He’s always shared a bed since toddlerhood, and finally got his own room. At first the nightlight was enough to just get him to sleep. Now, he gets up and wants to sleep in our bed. Problem with that is that he’s twitchy and ends up sideways! UGH! He says he’s scared to be alone. He even put all THREE dogs in his room in the beginning, but that doesn’t help anymore either. Hoping this will help!!!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!!!
Lexi Michelle says
my son does this! every night around midnight he wakes up!! it is the craziest thing. I’ve been trying to figure out why but this totally makes sense! we will be trying it tonight & hopefully he doesnt wake up this time!
Jessica says
Our two year old is finally sleeping through the night (unless, of course, she is up too late and is over tired). Now if we could just get the one year old to sleep all night before this new baby comes in November….lol
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh yay!!!!!
Oh my goodness- good luck on the new baby!
kim says
My son is 21 months old and waking at night for the past couple of months. He is still in his crib and tries to jump out so I go in and try to get him back to sleep but end up bringing him in to our bed. I’m so worried he is going to hurt himself climbing out of the crib! Is it too early to start him in his toddler bed and try the advice above? Our pediatrician recommended a toddler sleep sack to keep him from climbing out of the bed? We are leaning towards trying the toddler bed but worried he will be up more often? Thank you! Kim
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
We loved moving our kids to toddler beds – they all slept better. I would just get a video monitor. 🙂 (I had one for peace of mind)
Claudia says
My son is 4 and he still doesn’t sleep through the night. I am so sleep deprived that most of the time I don’t want to go to bed because I know the minute I start to dose off he will wake up. I noticed that parents who sleep train their children do not have this problem. I didn’t have the heart to do it. I thought it was something so harsh to do to a creature who had no idea what was going on around him and the traces of that feeling of abandonment would linger a long time in him, if not for his entire life… But now I find myself super tired all the time and very impatient especially when awakened shortly after falling asleep…
He also comes to my bed in the middle of the night and he wants to sleep really close to me pushing me to the edge of the bed incapacitating me to move and turn and toss.
I shall give your solution a shot, but I do not want it to back fire either. He’s very good at waling himself up and not falling asleep again for another 2 hours in the middle of the night.
Thanks for sharing Becky. What you suggest makes a great sense.
Also somebody mentions melatonin. I give my son a mash that we prepare together (3 Tbsps of yogurt+1 tsp of peanut butter+1/2 banana). Banana has melatonin in it and yogurt is known to help with sleep. What are the other forms of melatonin that are safe to use for children? Thank you…
Kristen F. says
My son is 2 1/2 is not napping, going to bed by 6pm, and is getting up at 4am. I won’t lie, waking him up before I go to bed terrifies me because I think it may disrupt what little sleep he is getting.
Michelle Burklin says
My son will be four in two weeks. He has recently (in this last week) started getting out of bed 4, 5, 6 often 7 times a night until I finally get in his bed for the second twenty minute spell of the night (I always lay down with him, too, when tucking him in). It has gotten so awful that he often doesn’t even get to sleep until midnight! I could REALLY use some help. Oh, and he throws these AWFUL fits when I do leave the room, so I feel extreme guilt leaving him there to cry himself to sleep!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Do you want me to ask this on Facebook? My readers usually have great advice!
Sara says
Wait so just to do that before he goes to bed or like when we’re going to sleep go n “wake him up” n do that? Or before he sleeps
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Just move him around a little. You don’t need to wake him all the way up, just enough to make him stir in his bed.
Liz says
My son used to be the best sleeper. We’d put him in bed, kiss him, lights out. Wouldn’t hear a peep after that. Then we had to move for my husbands job. My husband had to go a month and a half early, but he came home every other weekend. The week before my son and I joined my husband, my son started waking up a couple of times during the night. Once we joined my husband it got a little better, but his sleep has never been the same. I thought it would get better, and it seemed to. But now he is back to waking up a couple of times a night again. It’s usually to cover him and lately we have to coax him back to bed. But a lot of times he wants to get in our bed, which I don’t allow (don’t want to create yet ANOTHER habit that we’ll have to break down the line) until his moon clock changes to a sun at 7am. But this has been happening since October and it is now January. I also have a 1 year old, so I am very busy and also very tired. I haven’t had a good night sleep in 3 months. I am at my wits end and seriously am considering dragging his bed into our room, if that will make him feel safe and sleep through the night. I will try your advice, however he is such a light sleeper and wakes up at the slightest sound. He also doesn’t wake up at the same time every night. Sometimes it will be one time a night and like last night, it was four times. So, it’s very random….I will try this, but any other advice for a terrible sleeper?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
That was how our son was before we tried this. It was awful, but this worked so well for us! I hope that it does the same for you.
Lynn says
This is so interesting! My 3 year old has been coming into our room to sleep in the middle of the night lately. Last night my husband went in and gave her a kiss but didn’t wake her before he went to bed. She slept through the night. The same thing happened 3 nights ago and once again she didn’t come into our room. I hadn’t put it together but it makes total sense! I guess we will be giving her a kiss when we go to bed! Easy enough!
Virginia carrico says
I have tried everything to get my 2 year old to sleep through the night but nothing has worked could someone help me with advice please
Saira says
I too studied child development at university but this makes no sense to me! When we sleep we go through continuous sleep cycles, every 90 mins is a full cycle, consisting of 5 stages of non-REM sleep (lighter sleep) and ending in REM sleep (deep sleep), then we stir, and the whole thing starts over again until morning.
You’d have to be sure you were waking him during the REM stage, so 90 mins average after he falls asleep, and that’s IF this theory even works. It would be fab if it did but I see no link to research to back it up, and I’ve never heard of child development grads who studied toddler sleep patterns.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I, too, studied child development for four years in college and then took more classes for my therapy certification. The key is that you aren’t waking them completely, so you are just restarting their sleep cycle. It truly works.
Ps- I did run it past our neurologist before trying it and he gave the OK.
krystle says
my son is a little over 2yrs old…..he used to sleep thru the night but around 5months when he started teething, that’s when he started waking up during the night….like i said he’s now 2yrs old and still wakes up once during the night! if i give him a sippy with a little milk, he’ll drink it all and fall back to sleep. when i first lay him down at night about 9pm (not taking naps anymore) he is so incredibly stubborn that he screams and cries anywhere from 30mins to one night was 2hrs and i had to give him and give him a sippy. is he just waking up in the middle of the night because he’s thirsty? or is it something else? there’s no set time that he wakes up…it tends to vary. oh and his crib is in my room at the moment (i’m staying at my inlaws while husband is deployed)…..
Rolene says
This is very informative, thank you for sharing. I am going to try this.
Mel says
My son is just over 23 months old but for the last 5 nights now he’s been waking up so frequently every night (at least 3 times) screaming his head off, trying to open the door but he can’t. We have tried to go in & resettled him but that made him even more excited so we decided to just let him cry & he would go back to sleep on his own eventually (this can take up to 45mins sometimes). He is usually in bed by 6.30pm and wakes up around 6am-6.30am but again the last 2 weeks on / off he would wake up at 4.45am – 5.30am and would not go back to sleep. He would be wide awake – sometimes cries out for us or sometimes he would just stand at the door in his room. I’m not sure what’s going on with him or if he’s going through some kind of growth spurts? And he hasn’t really been eating that great either for the last week or so…
Any suggestions would be much appreciated! Thanks!
Erica says
Hi. This is what my baby is doing right now with the waking up at night at the same time. I’m seriously exhausted. I want to try his but what is the time difference of when you put your baby down and when you go to bed? My baby is just over two years old. Please let me know. Thank you!
Erica
Laura mccollum says
My roommates daughter wakes up several times thru the night but she also has a very hard time getting her to bed in the first place. She was always so good about going to sleep when it’s bedtime but about 2 weeks ago she started throwing huge fits when story time is over and it’s time to go to sleep. We’ve tried everything. She has 2 night lights, 3 stuffed animals, a fan for noise, the door cracked open so she can get out if needed, even tried the light on. But nothing. Takes a few hrs for her to give up then she still wakes up twice a night and it starts all over. Any advice? We did recently move but the first 2 was in new house she slept great! Why the sudden sleep issues? She doesn’t nap at school so bedtime is 7pm
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh no- I”m sorry. 🙁 I can ask this on Facebook if you want me to (to see if other readers have seen this). IN the meantime, try reading my post on “how to keep your child in bed”. It might be helpful.
Celine says
This is so interesting but makes perfect sense! Our daughter has slept through the night since 6 weeks old until just recently. She will be 3 in July. Its been a few weeks now that she’s waking up screaming for us and saying she had a scary dream. It was getting to the point where it was almost every night! But just this week it stopped. She also has a bit of a cold so I’ve been hearing her coughing before we go to bed. I wonder if that’s changing her sleep pattern?
Just curious, would you continue to go in there every night or only until they stop waking?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Yep- it can take only a few nights thought. 🙂 Good luck!!
Norma says
My daughter has 18 months …and it’s been a nightmare ? From birth to 8 months she woke up every 90 minutes!!! Then (8 months) she started sleeping 3 hours, sometimes 4 but just from 730 to 11:30 (first part of the night) Then she would continue to wake every hour or so… When she was 14 months I decided that maybe breastfeeding was causing this because there were entire weeks where she would wake up and latch 10-12 times every night so I was tired … I was exhausted… I was doing stupid things all the time ?so I decided that maybe without breastfeeding her I would finally rest but … we are still the same.
I’m desperate? everyone tells me that is time for her to sleep in her own room; and maybe even let her cry a few nights… But I JUST CAN’T
Pia says
My daughter is 18 months and has become super clingy. She has been sleeping through since she was 11 months old. Now she has started waking up 2-3 times (sleeps only 9 hours at night) and she is super tired and clingy in the day. I have to stay till she falls asleep (screams if I leave the room ). Will this work for her ? Say i try this two hours after she has slept ?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
You could try it? I’m not sure, but I think it would work for everyone since it is just adjusting their sleep cycles.
Pia says
My baby is 17 months are keeps waking up. She was the perfect sleeper from 11 months up until now. Would this work for her too?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I think so… worth a try 🙂
Tamara Tappan says
I have a just 2 year old. She is our 3rd(other two are older), and by far our worst sleeper. I have always been extremely anti co sleeping until I haven’t slept a full night in two years. She goes down fine in her bed…normal routine every night(naps fine in her crib during nap time). Wakes up anytime from 12-3 and want some to sleep with us. We can’t let her cry it out(trust me we have tried many times) because she throws up pretty much after about a minute. She can be a light sleeper, so I’m afraid if I went in and shook her around I would wake her up and then we would be where I’m at in the middle of the night. Any thoughts?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh wow… poor thing. I’d try giving her a little kiss on the cheek around midnight (that’s how I stir my 4 year old). It’s just enough to not wake her, but to break her of her REM sleep.
Renee says
I will be trying this starting tonight. My foster daughter wakes up several times during the night. Hopefully this will help.
Jessica says
I recently found your blog when searching for activities to do with my 3yo toddler – I am a newly-minted SAHM, with NO idea what to do all day to keep her engaged and learning! Your blog has helped get us moving each day. Then I found this post, and you may have just solved all our sleep problems, too!! I’ve had about 50% success rate with the “rousing” technique so far (only about 4 nights yet), but that’s 50% better than we were doing! I think I just need to find the *right* amount of rouse to avoid a full wake-up shortly after. It’s nice to be able to sleep, uninterrupted, a few nights; I am hoping to get us to 80-90% success each night! THANK YOU!!
Amber says
We’ve just started potty training our 2.5 year old. Ever since, she has been waking every night and staying awake for HOURS! We are soo exhausted I know it’s because she’s afraid of having accidents despute reassuring her numerous times and letting her wear diapers at night. So I don’t think this will work! For one, once she finally falls asleep at night we go to bed too. I also think she’s such a light sleeper that she would fully wake up and it would take another 2 hours to get her back to sleep! We are at the end of our rope. This cannot continue, but nothing is working!
Danielle McCaffery says
Hello!
I’m curious my niece (who is 3 years old) always wakes up usually between 12-2 in the morning and turns into a stealthy ninja and crawls into my brother and sister in laws bed. At that point, my niece decides to practice yoga in her sleep (my sister in law says she usually has my nieces feet either in her face or pushed into her back). My niece has a simulated fish tank that was suppose to coax her back to sleep but I believe she’s grown out of the tank. My sister in law just put a tv in her bed only for 30 minutes after she wakes up but I don’t see that happening. Walking my niece back to bed has been an issue as she has a horrible meltdown screaming crying kicking. My opinion she is beyond spoiled but now they have a 5 month old so I’m curious what options they may have to teach her to stay in her own bed. She did have night terrors for about a month. Now it’s just clockwork for her to wake up around that time and crawl into their bed. Any ideas? Thank you
Danielle
Crystal|MommyisaWino says
I can’t wait to try this tonight. My son recently learned how to climb out of his crib. Every night at midnight he ends up in our bed and then screams bloody murder when we put him back in his. We don’t want him sleeping in our bed. I really hope this works.
Krystin says
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Seriously. Thank you. My son is six years old. My husband and I CANNOT remember the last time he slept in his room through the night. Every night he visits and stays with us around midnight. I tried this for the first time last night and much to my surprise, it worked! He slept until 7:25. Fingers crossed it continues to work, I just did it again. I do have one question though;
How long do we continue to rouse him before the old pattern of waking is broken? How long did you continue to rouse him?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh yay!! We did it for a few weeks… but honestly we still do it most nights just because I give them all a kiss on the cheek before we go to bed & that’s just enough to stir them… 🙂 LOL.
Eva says
Interesting article. Our kids’ nights were harder when they were babies and then getting better. But I somehow just DID the tip anyway. My advice: do t get the Lilly (whatever it is) product. It’s one of the best moments of my day to tuck my two boys in again, give them a gentle kiss, stroke their cheek or say a prayer over them before I go to sleep. Even if they are typical rowdy boys during the day they look like angels when they sleep. And it always reminds me how quickly they grow up!!
Danielle says
Is there an alternative to this Lully device. I was a little excited about buying it this morning until I saw that it was $200! My son started waking up once a night, maybe after 6-7 hours of sleep. Then he stays up for about an hour or 2. Then he goes back to sleep and wakes up several hours later. He gets about 10-12 hours of sleep in total, but I don’t like that lonnnnngg interruption in the middle of the middle because it makes me tired. Any alternative devices out there just in case I can’t stir him in the middle of the night?
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
None that I know of, but I’ll keep you posted.:)
Elena says
Hi Becky.
I have a problem like you. My son wake up 2 time a night. I really worry about it. I will bring him to meet doctor. Thanks for your post.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!!
Pauline says
My 2.5 year old wakes up 2-3 times at night calling us in to put her blanket back on her or wants us to sleep in the room with her. I am soo sleep deprived….its hard to function because once she wakes me up its hard to fall back asleep. Ever since we switched her from a sleep sack to a blanket she’s been calling us to tuck her back in every night. Another thing to add to her sleep interruptions were her fevers. In order to monitor her fever we would sleep in her room on a futon while she slept in her crib. Throughout the night if she woke up crying with a high fever we’d give her medicine and sometimes it would take an hour for her to fall back asleep. So the combination of the habit of waking up because of her fever and not having a blanket to cover her she would wake up at around 1am every night and sometimes more than once. She also would wake up crying because she seemed scared of something. She’d look for us when she wakes up and if we aren’t there then she’d cry until we slept on the futon next to her. Another thing is getting her to sleep in the beginning of the night can be so difficult some nights. She would want water, or her blanket to cover her, or a tissue, or throw her stuff animal out of the crib just so we can come in to pick it up for her. She use to be the best sleeper, would cry a bit at night but would drift back to sleep on her own. But now she’s changed and we don’t know what to do.
Renee says
I’ve just read two articles from you and it’s my first time coming across your site. I really agree with your opinions that I’ve read, and will definitely be reading more. I just have to say, I scrolled to the bottom and saw the picture of your family, it’s so perfectly beautiful! You must have a very fill heart! 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you. 🙂 That’s so sweet!
Cassie says
I’m terrified to try this with our 2 year old. Takes almost 2 hours every night to get her to sleep. If I went into her room to stir her even a bit she’d snap out of her sleep completely and it’d be back to square one getting her back to sleep.
Celeste says
For the first 15.5 months of my twins lives, at least one of them had awful sleep. It got to the point where she would wake up every 15-30 minutes to just make sure I’m there and wake me up every time (we were sleeping on the floor at this point). I had tried everything with her. So we did the CIO 1-3-5-7 method where you wait 1 minute, go in say you are ok, hug/kiss then 3 minutes, etc. We only ever got up to 15 minutes and it only lasted 3 nights. Hard but had to be done for all of our mental health. Now they are 2.5 years old. Slept great until sometime in January when the best sleeper decided she would scream at bedtime and then cry on and off all night. The poor sleeper that we did CIO with, didn’t know what was going on. So we tried taking her to the living room floor, putting her in a pack n play which she climbed out of, tried the gentle removal method where we lay by her crib, then slowly move away every 2-3 nights, to finally having enough and threatening to not tuck them in if they don’t lay down. By the last part, the bad sleeper had become a bad sleeper again. We are now able to get them to lay down (with crying) at night and go to sleep but then they wake up 5-10 times a night to the point where they are up when we get up for work (4am, their bedtime is 730pm) and then huge tears, etc when the sitter shows up for us to leave (we work 4 10 hour days). We are exhausted. This is week 4. Don’t know what else to do. Someone said to put a child knob on the inside of their room, flip their beds to toddler beds and just let them scream and cry (and maybe vomit) until they pass out and eventually they will learn their room is for sleeping. But won’t this teach them to hate their room? That’s why I don’t want to do it. We are at a loss. its disheartening that we fixed it after 15.5 months and now its reared its ugly head again. If anyone is out there that can help, please do. They don’t just wake up once…its multiple times all night long. We have tried a night light, noise, fans, humidifier, even laying with them on the living room floor doesn’t work cause they still wake up. How do we stop that? I just want my sleep back and my time with the hubs to unwind…we miss each other. Parents in Tears!
Fumiko says
My husband and I are going through the night terror at this moment! My hubby has been walking around with our son in his arm, cuddling with him, opening the window, closing it again and going in and out of my son’s room in the past hour. And he is still crying. So I was desperately searching something to stop this issue and found your blog!!
We recently moved to a new house and we put our son in a preschool right after that. Since then our nights have been HORRIFYING. Our son has never been a good sleeper but now he wakes up like 5 times a night!! We actually hired a sleep trainer a few months ago but he got sick and we had to wait until there was no sign of running nose and coughs. But then he got sick again, and again (this past winter was horrible). So we couldn’t get to the training for 2 full months, then the move happened, then the preschool.
He just turned 2 years old and our night terrors have never been worse. So I absolutely had no hesitation on spending $200 for the little gadget from Lully!!! The sleep trainer have told us we can’t start the training unless he is in the best shape physically and mentally. So we were feeling so lost since he was going through such a tough time with the new environment (house & school), which means the training wouldn’t be happening for at least the next few weeks.
Thank you so much, Becky!! You absolutely shedded some light on our dark nights!! Can’t wait to use Lully!!!!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh yay! I’m so glad that it helped 🙂
josie says
Very interesting! I shall try! My son is 22 months old. He NEVER slept through the night. Maybe 10x in his whole entire life. That is literally all! Hes never been a good sleeper. I’ve never been well rested since he was born. And now I’m 2 months pregnant 😭 my poor husband and I were saying how burned out we feel and how we have no idea how we will get through this with another baby on the way. After almost 2 years of waking up multiple times at night, and around 12 months he woke about 6x a night to nurse, and now maybe wakes 3x a night at almost 2 we are just done. I really hope this works
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
You poor, sleepy mama! I hope your little one’s sleep gets better soon so you can all catch up on some zzz’s before the new addition to your family arrives <3
Kavitha says
There could be many reasons why babies cry at night. Here are some most common reasons:
– The baby’s diaper is dirty or wet and the only way they can tell you to change it is by crying.
– The baby must be hungry and wants to be fed.
– The temperature of the room must be making the baby uncomfortable to sleep.
– The baby is looking for some love and cuddling or just wants to feel secure.
– Even babies are said to get nightmares in their sleep just like sleep which can make them cry.
There could be medical reasons such as teething which could be making the baby cry and it is best to consult a pediatrician during such cases.
Krista says
This post saved my nights! How long do you have to go in and rouse them from sleep for?
Becky Mansfield says
Yay! I didn’t have to do it very long. About a week or two, I think.
Olivia Mayers says
Thanks for this tip! We will definitely try it with our 2 y.o…. cause it hasn’t been a hight without waking up since he was born 🙁
Becky Mansfield says
Good luck!