I wanted to write this post, because my friend, Paula, wrote a post called So you think you’re pro life (Her post is about young mothers and how they are often judged), and it seemed to spark conversation about how we are often judged by the sizes of our families.
I have always wanted four children. I have wanted four children since I was little. My grandmother had four children. My great grandmother had 11 children. My Great-great-grandmother had more than that.
Each of our children were thought about, planned and brought into this world with every intention of growing our family, raising our children and watching them grow into responsible adults. They were beautifully and wonderfully made.
And if they had not been planned for… I would love them exactly the same.
There have been many times when I have had to defend our family. The number of children that we chose to have, the fact that I wanted them all to be so close in age (2 years between each of them), the fact that it is a little bit hard right now, but that I enjoy it and I actually find four kids to be less-stressful than three.
(here we were, expecting our fourth baby…)
A friend told me once, before we had our third child: “You will never regret having another child. You will love him and take care of him, but in twenty years, will you look back and wish that you had had one more, if you decide not to have another child now? You won’t regret having another child, but you might regret not having one.”
You see, after our second child was born with hypertonicity, and we spent hours a day in therapy and at over 17 doctor’s offices during that first year, trying to figure out why he couldn’t move well and why he vomited everything that he ate for the first two years of his life. We questioned whether or not we should have more children.
We didn’t know what our lives would be like.
Would this child ever grow up to be independent?
Would he take more time than we had to give to more than two children?
Would our other children be born with this, too?
Well- we trusted in God and decided to grow our family. We knew that we could raise our kids to be empathetic, helpful, loving and caring. Plus, we have a great support system with our family. As it turned out, God healed our son and he is so amazing today.
He is a vibrant, wonderful, smart, (SO FUNNY) six-year-old boy (& he sure can breakdance… so watch out!) He is a testimony to the power of prayer (& play therapy at a young age!)
So, when I hear someone ask me that question… “Are they all yours?” I say, very proudly “Yes. They are ALL mine!” with a smile on my face. I love having four kids! I understand why they are asking, as I am on the petite side, so I understand that I don’t look much taller than our oldest son, 7 years old. (I am only 4’11… I take after my mom!)
I had our first son when I was 23. I had been married for two years before our son was born (My husband and I dated for seven years prior to our marriage- through high school & college. We were married the month after college graduation from college).
Many times I will hear arguments about how it is irresponsible to have this many children because of overcrowding in the world. I will hear that it is too expensive to have four children. I hear that four children are “a handful”… so to these things, I answer: “True.”
Yes, it is true that there are a lot of people in our world, but God has a plan. He planned our children and I’m sure that they will do amazing things! I can’t wait to see how they change the world!
Yes, it is expensive. Are you kidding me- of course it is! Just feeding them one meal costs a lot of money! That’s Ok, because I cut back in other places. I decorate our house for less money using these ideas, I go to toy swaps and even clothing swaps, and I have become a stay at home mom on one income. I don’t need to have the latest and greatest things, because I already have the real latest and greatest at home… my family!
Yes, they are a handful – a handful of fun, love, excitement, laughter, giggles, and at times, even a handful of trouble. haha!