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I have always wanted four children.   I have wanted a large family for as long as I can remember. since I was little.  My grandmother had four children.  My great-grandmother had 11 children.  My Great-great-grandmother had more than that.

Each of our children was thought about, planned and brought into this world with every intention of growing our family, raising our children and watching them grow into responsible adults.  They were beautifully and wonderfully made.
And if they had not been planned for… I would love them exactly the same.

There have been many times when I have had to defend our family.  The number of children that we chose to have, the fact that I wanted them all to be so close in age (2 years between each of them), the fact that it is a little bit hard right now, but that I enjoy it and I actually find four kids to be less-stressful than three.

             (here we were, expecting our fourth baby…) 
another baby
A friend told me once before we had our third child:  “You will never regret having another child.  You will love him and take care of him, but in twenty years, will you look back and wish that you had had one more if you decide not to have another child now?  You won’t regret having another child, but you might regret not having one.”

After our second child was born with hypertonicity, and we spent hours a day in therapy and at over 17 doctor’s offices during that first year, trying to figure out why he couldn’t move well and why he vomited everything that he ate (which lasted for the first two years of his life).  We questioned whether or not we should have more children.

We didn’t know what our lives would be like.
Would this child ever grow up to be independent?
Would he take more time than we had to give to more than two children?
Would our other children were born with this, too?
Well- we trusted in God and decided to grow our family.   We knew that we could raise our kids to be empathetic, helpful, loving and caring.   Plus, we have a great support system with our family.  As it turned out, God healed our son and he is so amazing today.

He is a vibrant, wonderful, smart, (SO FUNNY) six-year-old boy (& he sure can breakdance… so watch out!)   He is a testimony to the power of prayer (& play therapy at a young age!)

A young boy running on a beach.

So, when I hear someone ask me that question…  “Are they all yours?”  I say, very proudly “Yes.  They are ALL mine!”  with a smile on my face.   I love having four kids!   I understand why they are asking, as I am on the petite side, so I understand that I don’t look much taller than our oldest son, 7 years old.   (I am only 4’11… I take after my mom!)    

I had our first son when I was 23.  I had been married for two years before our son was born (My husband and I dated for seven years prior to our marriage- through high school & college.  We were married the month after college graduation from college).
berry pickingMany times I will hear arguments about how it is irresponsible to have this many children because of overcrowding in the world.  I will hear that it is too expensive to have four children.  I hear that four children are “a handful”…   so to these things, I answer:  “True.”

Yes, it is true that there are a lot of people in our world, but God has a plan.   He planned our children and I’m sure that they will do amazing things!  I can’t wait to see how they change the world!

Yes, it is expensive.   Are you kidding me- of course it is!  Just feeding them one meal costs a lot of money!  That’s Ok, because I cut back in other places.  I decorate our house for less money using these ideas,  I go to toy swaps and even clothing swaps, and I have become a stay at home mom on one income.  I don’t need to have the latest and greatest things, because I already have the real latest and greatest at home… my family!

Yes, they are a handful a handful of fun, love, excitement, laughter, giggles, and at times, even a handful of trouble. haha!

So- how many kids do you have?  Do you ever hear people ask you this?


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Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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  1. We also have 4 and I always wanted 4. 🙂 Now we are contemplating if we should have more. :)! Our first was born extremely ill but we knew we still wanted more- and we had our 2nd 19 months later. 🙂

    1. I would love to have more, too, but I feel pretty complete right now, so unless God has other plans, we will probably only have 4. That’s funny though b/c I always wanted four, too, for as long as I can remember. (our first two are 20 months apart… don’t’ you love them being so close?!)

      1. Hi everyone
        Looking for advice !
        We have a blended family of six kids aged 5-19. We don’t yet love together and are running two homes
        My partner is also a bit older than I.
        I have just found out that I am pregnant and at first I felt peaceful but now I’m scared because of all of the partial logistical issues
        My partner is panicking. He says the timing isn’t right and he is right on heaps of fronts. We are still managing issues with ex partners etc. We have a lot going on as you could imagine. I’m worried that if I were to have an abortion I will regret it and I will resent him for being unsupportive
        I feel so overwhelmed at the moment. Life is overwhelming but this has really topped it

        1. Yes! You will regret deeply!! No issue is more important than your baby’s life! I understand your worries it’s completely normal because you care! But not letting her or him be is not a solution at all. Blessings!

  2. I just have to tell you that it is almost scary how similar our lives sound!! My husband and I dated thru high school and college (7 years) and got married 3 months after I graduated from college, when I was 21. We had our first child when I was 23. We now have 4 children ages 7, 4, 2 and 3 months. And we don’t know if we are ‘done’. We have left our family up to the Lord and this is what he has given us so far. We are so blessed with the love and laughter in our house! Oh and another similar thing between us, I am only 5 foot nothing and quite petite and our 7 year old already comes up to my chest! We also have one with special needs, our oldest was born with a VERY rare liver disease that also affects his heart. So, we have been to our share of doctors and specialists from his birth on!
    I just had to share, while reading your story, how very much it sounds like ours!! Crazy right??? 🙂

    1. OH MY GOODNESS!!! That gave me the chills (seriously!!) We need to chat more! 🙂 Message me on FB sometime so we can talk- thats so funny!

  3. I have 4 kids who are 6 and under. My husband and I are in our young 30s, and people think we are crazy. But we always said three or four and I agree – you don’t want to look back with regret. I thought 3 was enough – but now – I wouldn’t trade my son for the world!!

  4. I wouldn’t give up any of our children for anything. It blows my mind that people judge families of 4, we jumped straight 6 within 4 months and now have 14 and I can promise you we aren’t done.

  5. Wow! These stories are so familiar. My husband and met when we were 16, dated through high school and college, married at 22, first born baby girl at 24, second baby girl at 25 – they are 13 1/2 months apart! Now expecting our third baby girl in 3 weeks (June 24). I thought we were ‘done’ at 2, but God placed on my heart last May that our family wasn’t complete. After praying for several months, I finally shared with my husband what God was doing in my heart. In October we found out we were expecting our 3rd. A lot of people thought we were trying for a boy, I just wanted another child. Now, even though sweet girl is my here yet, I will not say I won’t have 4th. I love my crazy life and though there are struggles, I signed up for this and know God has a plan for us!

    Thank you for posting this article, we prayed for and planned for all of our children, and I don’t always understand why people are so surprised.

  6. Yea! Another shortie here.. I am just over 5′ at 5’1″. My oldest is 4’11.5″ My son towers over me, and my youngest passed me up this year.

    We have 3, and that was the right number for us, especially now that they are all teens. Sometimes there is a lot of juggling when more than one child has a different place they need to be at the same time.. it seems to happen frequently!

    1. I didn’t know you were as short as me! lol! 🙂 That’s already what I’m finding… sports, etc… is hard when my husband is working & I have to get everyone to the right place.

  7. I have three and I wanted at least four very much. Ended up with health issues and couldn’t have anymore. But I always wanted that fourth baby.

    1. My Aunt has one and wanted more, but she couldn’t have anymore for health reasons, either. (She is only a few years older than me). It is a hard thing to come to grips with… I can see it with her.

  8. Me and my husband have 7. We only have 2 together and the other 5 are my step children but i still consider them mine. We have our oldest son he just graduated high school and will be 19 this october. We have a 17, 16, 12, 10, 7, 2. The youngest two are ours together they are both boys. We have been talking about having 1 more to try for a little girl if we got a little boy we would still be happy. People keep saying we are crazy. Some of our kids dont want us too have anymore and the other dont care. Our parents dont seem very supportive either. I am 30 and my husband is 42. I just dont know what I should do.

    1. how very blessed you are! I’ll be thinking about you with your upcoming decision.

    2. Hello
      Are you still on this post? I have never read another story that sounds very very similar to mine
      I’d really appreciate being able to email you

  9. I’m another one with 4 here, they are 8, 6, 4 and 1. I also get people asking me if they are all mine! Sometimes people assume we wanted a girl and that’s why we have 4 ( they are all boys) but we knew we wanted 4 and we didn’t mind whether they were boys or girls. I’m not as young as you ladies, I’ll be 40 in just over a year so we probably won’t be having any more, although sometimes I think it would be nice! I agree with you about 4 being easier than 3! Also I’m quite tall at 5ft 8 but my eldest is already up to my armpit. Perhaps its in the genes 🙂

    1. Oh- yours are very similar to ours. IN a month we will have those ages, too: 8, 6, 4, 1. 🙂
      haha- I think it is in the genes, too! 😉

  10. My husband and I have 6 children aged 7 & under with #7 due in late September. The comments I get are sometimes just dumb. My favorite dumb one is “are you trying to compete with the Duggars?” I tell them, “no, she has 19, I have 6. Not much of a competition. Plus I started much later than her.” They don’t have much to say after that. My other favorite is “are they all your husband’s?” That one still throws me.

    1. haha!! Well congratulations!!
      PS- your last comment made me laugh!!

  11. I am the oldest of 4 and only girl. We are all adults now and I am blessed to be a grandmother to 2 precious little ones. I think God builds rooms in our hearts. He built one for each of your children. Your family is beautiful and I think they are blessed to call you mommy.

  12. I’m currently expecting our 7th child. Sometimes I look around at all the kids hanging out in the house, and I think, “is that all there is?” LOL! My mom had 3, one of which died as a young adult. She tells me now that she wishes she had more — as she ages, she wishes she were surrounded by a horde of children to love and watch mature and have families of their own. Thankfully, she gets to be actively involved in her grandchildren’s lives. My mother-in-law, one of 8 children, had her only surprise baby (my husband) late in her child-bearing years. She has never understood why we want a large family. She doesn’t understand when I tell her that choosing to have our family by God’s design is one of the biggest exercises of faith for me in so many ways, and that I know God better because of it. She spends her days hanging out with her 2 younger sisters or talking on the phone to her large extended family. She sadly doesn’t realize that if her mother had listened to the well-meaning advice of “not having so many kids”, her sisters who fill her days with life would not even be here. She would be spending her elderly years very lonely. Our 7th will likely be our last, not because we will choose to not have any more, but because I believe that my fertility is running out. I know that when that becomes a fact, that my husband and I will be sad, but we won’t be able to dwell on our sadness because we are well-distracted by the blessings that we have 🙂

  13. Hi Becky! I love this post. I also have 4 children, but mine are spread apart. My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 7. This creates its own unique challenges, but having enough love for all of them is not one of those challenges. What is different about my story is that I never wanted children when I was young. I wanted to be a career woman. God had different plans for me. I fell in love with my first child and my life changed forever. I not only dedicate my life to my children, but all the children I come into contact with. I’m a Sunday school teacher, Girl Scout leader…………there are always children in my life. I’ve decided that it does not make sense for me to have any more children, but I’m pretty certain that I will always be writing about and volunteering for children’s causes. I know I don’t always do things right, but I do one thing right. My children all think that they are my favorite. There is more than enough love to go around. I look forward to being a grandmother too.

  14. We currently have four kids ages 8, 7, 4.5, and 2. We swore we were done, but just after the first of the year we found out a little surprise will be joining us in the fall. We have three boys with special needs, one of them is medically very complicated, and a daughter who is our oldest. She is proud to tell everyone she is finally getting a sister in September.

  15. I have 3 and I too want 4 but I have had 2 miscarriage in the last year and think it’s a sing that I shouldn’t. Love having those little hand and feet to hold.

    1. I had a miscarriage, too, in between our third baby & fourth baby… It is hard. 🙁 Thinking of you!

    2. We had two little boys 17 months apart then two miscarriages, one early at 2 months and one at 14 weeks. We have since been blessed with a little girl and another little boy and we are due with another in the fall. Every one of my children is healthy and happy and I love each and every one. If your desire is to have more children, I hope this encourages you!