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Why I put my kids to bed at 7:00 … it is a hot topic, that’s for sure! When our children were younger, we had all of our kids in bed around 7:00 every night. They were asleep around 7:30 every night.
UPDATE: This post was written several years ago in 2014, when our kids were much younger, but I believe that it is important. We still maintain a regular bedtime, but they no longer go to bed as early as they once did.
I owe so many well-rested nights and happy children during the day to the fact that we have a regular and early bedtime for our children. In fact, many Dutch parents put their kids to bed between 6:00 & 7:00 for very similar reasons that we have an early bedtime.
Before I begin- remember that although this works for us, it is not for everyone. As with all of my advice, do what works best for your family. ♥
Our kids (ages 2-9) are in bed by 7:00
Yes, our young children are in bed at 7:00. It is 2014, and my children range from 2 years old to 9 years old. Our 9 year old now goes to bed at 8:00, because he is older and needs less sleep. Until they are 9 years old, 7:00 remains their bedtime.
Last week, a fellow blogger shared my post about what to do when your 2 year old is still waking at night. In the post I talked about our early bedtime and gave some life-changing advice for our toddler that was waking up. That post led someone to leave the comment “Who puts their kid to bed at 7:00 pm?”
WE DO.
Yes, We have received mixed feedback about this, but it works for us. I know that 7:00 is early. I know that it cuts into their day, but I can tell you that I would rather have happy kids for 12 hours a day than tired or grumpy kids for 13 hours a day. (Our older kids wake up at 7:00 no matter what time they go to sleep. Really!)
Playing hard in the day makes kids tired by bedtime!
Our four YOUNG kids play hard during the day. They run around a lot and they spend a lot of time outside with us.
They are busy in the day, so they are tired when 7:00 rolls around.
They DO NOT nap anymore and they are just plain worn out by the evening, even if they don’t want to admit it (and they never do! haha!)
We have tried to push this back when we are on vacation, but they just aren’t as relaxed and easy-going the next day. They are a little more on edge, just like we are (as adults) when we don’t get the rest that we need. I put them to bed early because I want them to be smiling & ready to take on the day. 🙂
Plus- the are usually asleep in 5-15 minutes, so I know they are tired.
Do they ever stay up late?
YES! Once a month they each stay up late for Their Special Night. Plus, every night, our oldest son gets to have Read-Alone time in his room before bed, too. Or they can read their spelling words while they fall asleep with this little hack.
If that have football or wrestling, they are up even later, but we AIM for an early bedtime! Our younger children have a really hard time waking up for school at 7:00 am when he doesn’t get his full 12 hours of sleep, so I do try to get him to bed as early as possible.
I want him to be able to focus at school, be energetic in play and at his sports and be happy at home! This little chart can help you to know how much sleep they truly need…
Kidshealth.org says:
“Most kids between 5 and 12 get about 9.5 hours a night, but experts agree that most need more. When your body doesn’t have enough hours to rest, you may feel tired or cranky, or you may be unable to think clearly. You might have a hard time following directions, or you might have an argument with a friend over something really silly. A school assignment that’s normally easy may feel impossible, or you may feel clumsy playing your favorite sport or instrument.
Sleep Impacts Growth & Health
One more reason to get enough sleep: If you don’t, you may not grow as well. That’s right, researchers believe too little sleep can affect growth and your immune system — which keeps you from getting sick.” All in all- sleep is important! Your kids need it, even if they don’t WANT it.”
Do you have time with them in the evening?
I am not saying that this is right for everyone, so please hear me out. My husband and I both work from home, so this works for us. Two of our kids stay home with us during the day, and our older children go to school until 3:30. We have plenty of family time daily from 3:30 until bedtime.
Before my husband worked from home, I used to have the kids showered and in their pajamas before he got home, to give us more time together. Remember that it is quality over quantity.
Does it happen every night?
7:00 bedtime does not happen every single night, but it’s our goal every night. Most nights, one of our kids will be at practice until 8:00, so of course bedtime is later on that night.
Sometimes, it’s even earlier than 7:00. A few years ago, when my youngest kids were 3 & 5, they would fall asleep in the car at 6:00 on our way to drop the older kids off at practice… and I just take them up to bed and they slept ALL NIGHT LONG. They never woke up during the transition to bed. I know it’s crazy, but when I try to wake them, they are NOT happy, so on those nights, I just let it go.
It’s good for your marriage:
My husband and I see each other all day long while we work from home or while we are spending time with the kids, but at night we have time to watch a show, play a board game, etc…
Now, I am not saying that this is why we put them to bed early or that it is why we started, because it’s not, but we do enjoy that time together. Did you know that the #1 fear of preteens and teenagers is divorce among their parents? Quality time together, with your spouse, reduces this risk greatly.Make it a point to tell your children that you are going to spend time with your spouse.
Children Need Sleep
Remember- our bedtime certainly isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. It is healthy for our kids to get that amount of sleep and it helps them overall. Quality sleep + healthy foods make a huge difference for children (and adults).
On the other hand…
I wanted to share a story, for those of you that have a late bedtime. My very dear, long-time friend, Julia, has always had a late bedtime and her children follow her lead. They stay up well past 10:00 and it works for them. They sleep in every morning and they are happy, healthy, smart children. Her children are the same ages as mine. I know that I need to wait until 11:00 or later to talk to her on the phone. 🙂
All of that to say that this is what works for us, but it is up to you to find out what works best for your family.
I hope this helped to shed a little light on families with early bedtimes. Sleep well… no matter the time!♥
I im total agreement with you. For years we have put our son down at 7pm. He needed 12 hrs of rest believe it or not. I found that his teacher was able to teach him better we were able to connect better and he was well rested. My husband at first was grateful because we could spend time together and still have our alone time. Over the years it hasn’t been easy as now that my son is 10 he fights and stays up so my husband will fall asleep with him even when I beg him not to. So I see him less we still put my son to bed at 7pm. Except scout nights he gets to go to bed at 9 because they hold their meetings till 830. Which I find too late to keep any child up but I can not change the world. Those days his teacher has trouble teaching him and because of his three nights a week he gets to stay up late we have troubles getting him down because he is exhausted by then and then our window has passed.
I think it is hard to get parents to let their children get the proper sleep. My family my friends all were and still are confused as to why the bed time is so early. But they will never know.
Your scout night is our wrestling night. I agree- it is so late!!
Thanks for taking the time to write. 🙂
You’ve caught flak for this? Why? I seriously don’t understand why that would upset people.
All six of my children have gone to bed at 7, with four of them still young and living here. It’s now 7:49pm and all is quiet in the house.
And they nap, too. Anyone five and under takes a nap in the day. Anyone under twelve months takes two.
Thanks for the feedback (& support). 🙂
I love this! My daughtee has always gone to be between 6-7 and she sleeps until 7 or 7:30 (shes 2 1/2). People think we are crazy or mean (because we dont let her wander the house like a zombie until she passes out) or say, shes just a good sleeper wait until your next one. But pretty much since her first few weeks of life we put her to bed awake and lwt her learn to fall asleep on her own so bedtime has never been an issue. We just say its bedtime and she says ok. We recently moved her to a big girl bed and she doesn’t even try to get out! So now that my friends are having kids guess who they call 24/7 to get advice on how to sleep train? Me! To me time with my husband once the kids go to bed is the most importAnt. Everybody is much happier!
haha!! I agree- our kids are definitely happier when they have had a good night’s rest. 🙂
You are not alone. We have had a 7 pm bed time since my daughter hit about 1 year old (before that was 8, as soon as she was home from the hospital). We thrive on it. My husband is up early for work so we’re in bed by 9 pm easy. By putting my daughter to bed at 7 that means, as you stated, my husband and I have a few hours to enjoy one another. Be it chatting, planning for the following week, or turning off our brains after a long day and watching something mindless on tv. It’s important that we get time together, and it’s expensive to rely on our time together continuously being a date night…not to mention I think it’s healthy for kids to see their parents make time for one another without it having to be constant dates. It is possible to enjoy one another without it costing you a dime. I have know people who don’t put their kids down until 10pm at the earliest… While it may work for them, I couldn’t begin to fathom such a thing. Even with a 1-2 hour nap in the middle of her day, by 7 pm the cranks start to set in and she’s 3! Good for you for doing what works for your family, and for recognizing that despite the actual bedtime, it’s important for mom and dad to get some quiet time to themselves after the kids are in bed.
Oh yes- we are the same way. They hit a wall and become crabby by around 7:00 if they aren’t in bed (usually its more like 6:30 for our younger two kids, which just tells us that it is almost bed time) 🙂
Thanks for this post! My son generally gets up between 6:00 and 6:30 and rarely sleeps in. That puts bedtime and 7:00 or even earlier if he seems to need it. Every kid has different sleep patterns – it’s good to know them and work with them as soon as possible!
🙂 Agreed!
My son’s almost 8, and he’s usually in bed about 7:30 still. He’s consistently an early riser (no matter when he goes to bed, he will wake up early). I am a HUGE believer in kiddos getting their sleep, so we keep to our routine as much as possible. When people first responded incredulously to this post, I couldn’t understand why – I don’t judge when other kids go to bed, but this has been the norm for us for years! 🙂
Same here 🙂
Totally agree. Same in our family, all three kids ages 7, 4.5 and 2yo go to bed around 7 pm. No matter how late they sleep ( if we go out, weekend night, day time naps) all of them wake up at 6 am, sometimes earlier, rarely later. From one side they need required rest and from another side – us parents need time to ourselves to unwind. I’ve been stay-at-home mother for last 7 years with at least one kid at home with me all the time, so by the evening I’m totally worn out and wait till kids have their rest – they are very tired as well ! I think it’s wrong to let kids sleep late at night and wake up late in the morning, first it’s not how our bodies were programmed from the very beginning of human race and second “late” doesn’t do any good to school kids and future adults who will have to wake up early for work.
Yep- ours are the same. Bed at 7- wake at 7. Bed at 10- wake at 7. 🙂
I also put my children to bed by 7 EVERY night (I was the crazy person leaving a family party so my kids schedule stayed on track). My son ,11, has NEVER slept past 5am. He is a morning person but he NEEDS his sleep. My daughter 8,from the day I brought her home never took more than a 20. Minute nap and my son stopped napping the day I brought her home. She stopped napping completely at 12 1/2 months. I took A LOT of flack for our early bedtime decisions but my kids were tired! I’m NOT about to deal with a miserable tired child when there is an obvious answer. Bedtime!!
Plus I was a stay at home mother whose husband worked 3rd shift. This allowed us to have time alone and honestly after my 5am wake up I wanted a break! If I’m rested I’m a much more patient, kind, loving mother who LIKES to be with her kids. If you ignore your own needs and those of your partner you will end up with a very unhappy family.
I agree- our kids really need that sleep, too. When we are on vacation and they stay up late, it is very obvious that they are over-tired.
My question is this, why are you even defending yourself or feeling the need to explain? They are your children, my children also had early bed times, they need it, you need it after a busy day with 4 young children, why aren’t the parents who allow a 5 year old to stay up until 11:00 pm explaining themselves? Children need bed times, they need lots of sleep, putting them to bed early hurts nothing or no one, no explanation required.
🙂 thanks.
I have a 10 month old and I started putting her to bed at 3 months old at 7pm. Then when she was 6months old the clocks went backwards/forwards (I cant remember which!) and it messed it up so now she goes to bed at 6pm and wakes at 6am. A tad early for my liking!!! :0 Any ideas on how to get back to a 7pm bedtime…. when 6pm happens it’s like someone flicked a switch and she wants her bed NOW!!! Haha!
Oh no!! haha. The time change was really hard for us, too.
I put my 4 1/2 year old to bed at 7pm, as my mom always said “even if they’re not sleeping they’re resting”. She put all us to bed at that time and I’ve always stuck to it. Everything you said I agree with, you do what works best for you and your children.
So true! I need to add that quote to that post. 🙂
My 6.5 year old daughter still needs 12 hours a night. She sleeps from 8-8 and even longer on the weekends. I would love to put her to bed earlier, but she has a hard time going to bed earlier.
My 8 year old son has always needed less sleep. He gets to stay up until 9 reading and sleeps until 7:30-8.
8-8 is awesome! 🙂
I don’t think you should have to explain anything you do with your children. It is nobody’s business. Thank you for your post.
& thanks for your comment.:)
I do exactly the same and always have – our seven kids have always had bedtimes and with five left at home this is what we still do – 6&8 year old at 7.30, 14 yr old at 8.30 and 16yr olds x2 – 9.30….
It works perfectly for us – the older kids use some of their ‘extra’ time to have uninterrupted conversation with us – but for the most part they are doing what ever relaxes them – they are NOT to use it for study time – and that simply because I want them winding their brain down and not amount it up – I believe school is about getting ready for work life – neither me or my husband would bring our work home and be doing it right before bedtime – so instead kids come home from school – have a bit to eat and a ‘recess’ then inside to complete all study/assignment work – once homework is done the afternoon is theirs to go outside and play to their hearts content! They all make sure they are back in and ready for dinner at six…. Two littles bath before dinner so that they enjoy after dinner time to the fullest – the older ones use that as part of their wind down …. Sometimes sports training changes things up a little bit – but with planning and all working together it’s no problem at all! 🙂
All our kids have chores and schedules too – both hubby and I work but as a big family we always stick to our routine as much as possible and we all work together to keep moving forward towards fun! I love having fun with them all! x
As a mum of kids who are now 18 & 20.. Let me give you a big congratulations and tell you that you will be even more glad that you did this when they are older!!!!
I love the idea of giving the older kids extra time with you. I’ll keep that in mind!
I think first, people really need to mind their business when it comes to how others raise their kids. We all do what works for us and not every person or family unit is the same. Secondly people need to realize we all run on different time schedules. While your kids start at 8am for school mine don’t start till 9am, there for we would lose an extra hour of family time, homework time, etc if we went to bed early. So we go to bed at 9. Everyone still gets 10+ hours of sleep , so it works for us. Just like early bedtime works for those who run on an earlier schedule. I don’t know why people must explain themselves to those who just can’t possibly understand this simple reasoning.
lol – thanks!