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Why I put my kids to bed at 7:00 … it is a hot topic, that’s for sure! When our children were younger, we had all of our kids in bed around 7:00 every night. They were asleep around 7:30 every night.
UPDATE: This post was written several years ago in 2014, when our kids were much younger, but I believe that it is important. We still maintain a regular bedtime, but they no longer go to bed as early as they once did.
I owe so many well-rested nights and happy children during the day to the fact that we have a regular and early bedtime for our children. In fact, many Dutch parents put their kids to bed between 6:00 & 7:00 for very similar reasons that we have an early bedtime.
Before I begin- remember that although this works for us, it is not for everyone. As with all of my advice, do what works best for your family. ♥
Our kids (ages 2-9) are in bed by 7:00
Yes, our young children are in bed at 7:00. It is 2014, and my children range from 2 years old to 9 years old. Our 9 year old now goes to bed at 8:00, because he is older and needs less sleep. Until they are 9 years old, 7:00 remains their bedtime.
Last week, a fellow blogger shared my post about what to do when your 2 year old is still waking at night. In the post I talked about our early bedtime and gave some life-changing advice for our toddler that was waking up. That post led someone to leave the comment “Who puts their kid to bed at 7:00 pm?”
WE DO.
Yes, We have received mixed feedback about this, but it works for us. I know that 7:00 is early. I know that it cuts into their day, but I can tell you that I would rather have happy kids for 12 hours a day than tired or grumpy kids for 13 hours a day. (Our older kids wake up at 7:00 no matter what time they go to sleep. Really!)
Playing hard in the day makes kids tired by bedtime!
Our four YOUNG kids play hard during the day. They run around a lot and they spend a lot of time outside with us.
They are busy in the day, so they are tired when 7:00 rolls around.
They DO NOT nap anymore and they are just plain worn out by the evening, even if they don’t want to admit it (and they never do! haha!)
We have tried to push this back when we are on vacation, but they just aren’t as relaxed and easy-going the next day. They are a little more on edge, just like we are (as adults) when we don’t get the rest that we need. I put them to bed early because I want them to be smiling & ready to take on the day. 🙂
Plus- the are usually asleep in 5-15 minutes, so I know they are tired.
Do they ever stay up late?
YES! Once a month they each stay up late for Their Special Night. Plus, every night, our oldest son gets to have Read-Alone time in his room before bed, too. Or they can read their spelling words while they fall asleep with this little hack.
If that have football or wrestling, they are up even later, but we AIM for an early bedtime! Our younger children have a really hard time waking up for school at 7:00 am when he doesn’t get his full 12 hours of sleep, so I do try to get him to bed as early as possible.
I want him to be able to focus at school, be energetic in play and at his sports and be happy at home! This little chart can help you to know how much sleep they truly need…
Kidshealth.org says:
“Most kids between 5 and 12 get about 9.5 hours a night, but experts agree that most need more. When your body doesn’t have enough hours to rest, you may feel tired or cranky, or you may be unable to think clearly. You might have a hard time following directions, or you might have an argument with a friend over something really silly. A school assignment that’s normally easy may feel impossible, or you may feel clumsy playing your favorite sport or instrument.
Sleep Impacts Growth & Health
One more reason to get enough sleep: If you don’t, you may not grow as well. That’s right, researchers believe too little sleep can affect growth and your immune system — which keeps you from getting sick.” All in all- sleep is important! Your kids need it, even if they don’t WANT it.”
Do you have time with them in the evening?
I am not saying that this is right for everyone, so please hear me out. My husband and I both work from home, so this works for us. Two of our kids stay home with us during the day, and our older children go to school until 3:30. We have plenty of family time daily from 3:30 until bedtime.
Before my husband worked from home, I used to have the kids showered and in their pajamas before he got home, to give us more time together. Remember that it is quality over quantity.
Does it happen every night?
7:00 bedtime does not happen every single night, but it’s our goal every night. Most nights, one of our kids will be at practice until 8:00, so of course bedtime is later on that night.
Sometimes, it’s even earlier than 7:00. A few years ago, when my youngest kids were 3 & 5, they would fall asleep in the car at 6:00 on our way to drop the older kids off at practice… and I just take them up to bed and they slept ALL NIGHT LONG. They never woke up during the transition to bed. I know it’s crazy, but when I try to wake them, they are NOT happy, so on those nights, I just let it go.
It’s good for your marriage:
My husband and I see each other all day long while we work from home or while we are spending time with the kids, but at night we have time to watch a show, play a board game, etc…
Now, I am not saying that this is why we put them to bed early or that it is why we started, because it’s not, but we do enjoy that time together. Did you know that the #1 fear of preteens and teenagers is divorce among their parents? Quality time together, with your spouse, reduces this risk greatly.Make it a point to tell your children that you are going to spend time with your spouse.
Children Need Sleep
Remember- our bedtime certainly isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. It is healthy for our kids to get that amount of sleep and it helps them overall. Quality sleep + healthy foods make a huge difference for children (and adults).
On the other hand…
I wanted to share a story, for those of you that have a late bedtime. My very dear, long-time friend, Julia, has always had a late bedtime and her children follow her lead. They stay up well past 10:00 and it works for them. They sleep in every morning and they are happy, healthy, smart children. Her children are the same ages as mine. I know that I need to wait until 11:00 or later to talk to her on the phone. 🙂
All of that to say that this is what works for us, but it is up to you to find out what works best for your family.
I hope this helped to shed a little light on families with early bedtimes. Sleep well… no matter the time!♥
I’ve learned with my three daughters (7, 5, 4) that sleep begets sleep. My 4 and 5 year olds both still nap from 1-3 or 2-4. All three are in bed by around 7 and don’t often wake before 7:15-7:30. IF this schedule is messed with they become moody, emotional, argumentative, hyper, and my oldest will sleep walk if she’s over tired. Allowing my girls the proper REST is so very important
So very true! Its so funny- I JUST wrote that quote on another comment! (Sleep begets sleep!)
I agree with you. My kids are 7 and 9 and they also go to bed at 7 when possible. If not my daughter looses concentration at school and my son gets crabby. If they cannot sleep I let them lie in bed and read a book but most nights within 5 minutes they are both fast asleep.
We do, too. 🙂
Oh! I catch *SO* much flack because I put my almost-9yo to bed at 7:15. “That’s sooooo early,” friends & family say, “So-&-so doesn’t go to bed till 8:30!”
Okay, great for you. Are you going to be here with my kid in the morning when she won’t get out of bed & is grumpy & cranky & argumentative because she’s still tired? No?? THEN KEEP YOUR JUDGEMENT TO YOURSELF.
It’s so frustrating.
Same here! 🙂 haha. Thats ok- just do what works best for your family! 🙂
Nice article. I completely agree on an early bedtime, but I’m not sure about making a child skip their nap so that they will fall asleep when you want them to. If your 4 year old falls asleep in the car at 3 pm, they need a nap! I don’t see the benefit in keeping them awake when they should be asleep as that is surely against their best development? I understand you do that for your own benefit and it bothers me a bit that some people will think that’s fine after reading this post.
I completely agree that he needs a nap, but staying up until 10:00 and waking up at 7:00 (because we need to wake him up for school for his brothers and for his preschool) will give him an overall less amount of sleep than just sleeping 7-7. 🙂 So for us, the 9 hours is just not enough for him, compared to the 12 that he will get on a different schedule.
CONGRATULATIONS for the good job. I wish more parents fallow your bed time schedule. I did the same when my kids were little. Is a great feeling that after a long day you could enjoy your husband or partner. So don’t worry you’re doing fantastic :).
🙂 Thank you, Rosy!
since I was 12 I get 4-5 hours a night sometimes; I’m 14.
I absolutely see the good points and back up to this. I have seen these effects on both sides with my sons. I also have been frustrated by the late night activities aimed at kids.
Here is my frustration right now and question. I have gone back to work. I make my own very limited hours, my children are in a fantastic preschool from 0900-1, come home and nap between 2-230. Bed time is a firm 8pm. With their nap time, and my husband getting home at 5, we sit down to dinner between 530-6. That leaves a two hours for family time, play time, baths, reading, ect. We feel like we don’t get any time with them- specifically my husband. He literally gets two hours a day with them, and I see the boys and him starving for each others attention and affection. Our 1 year old has started waking around midnight and asking only for daddy…he wants to be rocked, laid with, and sometimes is just up ready to play. Our 3yr old has started to become very emotional at bed time, clinging to his “daddy bear” (it has my husbands voice recorded..got it for deployments, now he wants it all the time). He has bad dreams about daddy going “to the airport”. We will not be having any deployments again, but I feel like their lack of reassurance and time with him is really effecting their routine and sleep. For me I’m waking between 430-5 to get work and school work done so not to take away from our evenings. It’s my husband and his time- he wants to allow them to stay up because he wants time with them.
Any thoughts and suggestions for those with “working” (I’m terribly sorry to use that term…going back to work has been a vacation compared to staying at home!!…though I feel like I’m still a stay at home mom) schedules.
HAHA – agree w/ the working term!
So I don’t know. 🙁 I’m sorry! I would say to just use the MOST of the time that he is home. We really try to use up all of our weekend time o fun, quality time things. It is hard, but I just can’t have them up until 10:00 or they will be grouchy every day (which I’m sure you see in your own kids).
Good luck!!
I insisted on early bedtimes when my daughters were toddlers and early childhood years, usually 7-7:30 as they are 4 years apart. Now as teenagers they “stay up late” as teens do, but it’s 8:30-9:30. This is their own choice. The younger one actually is known to be asleep by 7:45 still. I do know that the teen brain is different and they do tend to be more nocturnal. No electronic devices can be used past the 8:00/9:00 (younger/older) either.
🙂 I love the “no electronics past 8:00” rule!! I need to implement that when our kids are older.
My son will be 5 end of July. He has always had a difficult time sleeping. I was the mom sitting in the car while he napped in the car seat. This went in until he was 3. The only way he could fall asleep was walking him for hours or driving him around. He had horrible acid reflux and sensory issues. He can sleep 10 hours a night. But if I put him to bed at 7 he wakes up 10 hours later. I have blackout blinds in his room because any light at all will wake him up. I think he would feel better with more sleep, but his body won’t allow it. I’d rather he sleep from 9-7 than from 7 -5. He goes to preschool 4 days a week 8:30-1. I don’t know what else to do. No matter what time he goes to sleep, he wakes up 10 hours later. The other problem is I work 20 hours a week, we go to many therapy and doctor appointments, try to have play dates and I keep up the house, etc. If I lay down with him at 7, I won’t be able to get back up, I’m exhausted by 7. If you have any is advice to get my son to sleep more, I’dove to hear it. We do have a white noise machine in his room. But he’s just very sensitive to everything. It’s been so challenging for us. We are older parents, 43 and 46. Any my son is very active or hyperactive, needs constant attention, doesn’t play alone. He has social difficulties at school, anxiety. His pediatrician and therapist said 10 hours if sleep should be fine??? Anyway, if you have any advice, is live to hear it. Thanks!
I agree- 10 hours is fine for some children and I’m sure that you would be exhausted with him waking up earlier (well- I would be anyway!)
I don’t have much advice, but to say that I’m here if you need someone to listen or need to bounce ideas off of someone. 🙂
The only thing I personally found concerning is manipulating your schedule to avoid your littlest taking a nap that you stated he really still needs. While several have praised you for your responsible bedtime and giving children the structure they need, I would praise the parents allowing the toddlers the rest they need with a nap and a 9pm bedtime. If the blog is about making sure your kids get the rest they need, I think it’s fair to look at that point and consider if that is best for the child or if it’s best for the schedule.
I don’t consider myself “judgy”, but presenting your parenting style in a public forum opens you up to public feedback. I only comment because it seems to me intentionally skipping a needed nap for a 7pm bedtime contradicts the message of the blog.
I have 6 children, the one thing I’ve learned is that they each have varying needs. Structure and routine are important and I do appreciate that part of your blog.
If we give her a nap, she will be up until 10 or 11, which then gives her only 8 hours of sleep at night because I need to wake her to take her brothers to school in the morning. I would have to give her a 4 hour nap. Plus, she is almost three, so she really doesn’t need it. She is ready for bed at 7:00, which works for her and for us.
My kiddos are usually in bed between 7-730. depends how long we spend getting ready to go to bed or reading books and such. my kids are 6,5,3, and 1. i have on occasion put the younger 2 to bed at 7 and spent some time with the older ones either baking or watching a movie before i send them to bed. my husband works until late at night usually getting home anywhere from 10 to 2am (second shift at a restaurant so it varies) we spend time together with the kids during the day and i stay up late with him to spend time with him alone when he gets home. before he gets home and after the kids go to bed is when i clean up the pig sty of my house after the kids destroyed it 😉
🙂 HHAHA!!
So wish I had realized this when my teens where younger!
🙂
Becky, thanks for a great read! It’s important for people to understand that everyone’s schedules aren’t the same. You have to figure out what works for your family- biologically and logistically!
Personally, I’m still on maternity leave with my 4 month old son, and my husband works from 12n-8pm. So our schedule (generally) looks more like: 9am wake up and morning routines/playtime, 12n-2 nap time, 6-7 nap time, 9pm Daddy home, dinner, family playtime, bath time, story time and 11pm bedtime. (We have finally cut out the late night feeding, which for us was at 4am)
Our schedule works for our family, but I know its not for everyone! Eventually when our son needs more nighttime sleep (or cuts down on his naps), we plan to back up his bedtime by half hour intervals. But it works the way we are doing things- our family gets some great time to spend together in the evenings, and we are all well rested. if our son was in bed by 7, my husband would never get that special time with him for play, baths, “real food”, and storytime. We also stay up late sometimes to watch a movie after our son goes to bed, which still gets us a good 7-8 hrs of sleep.
I agree I have two children ages 3 & 5 years old and they are in bed between 6 – 7pm. When the 5 year old turns 6 I July he will go to bed no later than 7.30pm. Children need sleep so they can be alert the next day. Especially my 5 year old who attends school.
Same here. 🙂 Like you said- especially when they have to go to school. It just helps our kids. 🙂
i couldn’t agree more! My son’s teachers always comment how he is
upbeat …it is because he is well rested. He can enjoy an activity because he is not struggling to stay awake…thanks for sharing.
It really makes a huge difference, doesn’t it? (Well- in our kids, anyway) 🙂