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Why I put my kids to bed at 7:00 … it is a hot topic, that’s for sure! When our children were younger, we had all of our kids in bed around 7:00 every night. They were asleep around 7:30 every night.
UPDATE: This post was written several years ago in 2014, when our kids were much younger, but I believe that it is important. We still maintain a regular bedtime, but they no longer go to bed as early as they once did.
I owe so many well-rested nights and happy children during the day to the fact that we have a regular and early bedtime for our children. In fact, many Dutch parents put their kids to bed between 6:00 & 7:00 for very similar reasons that we have an early bedtime.
Before I begin- remember that although this works for us, it is not for everyone. As with all of my advice, do what works best for your family. ♥
Our kids (ages 2-9) are in bed by 7:00
Yes, our young children are in bed at 7:00. It is 2014, and my children range from 2 years old to 9 years old. Our 9 year old now goes to bed at 8:00, because he is older and needs less sleep. Until they are 9 years old, 7:00 remains their bedtime.
Last week, a fellow blogger shared my post about what to do when your 2 year old is still waking at night. In the post I talked about our early bedtime and gave some life-changing advice for our toddler that was waking up. That post led someone to leave the comment “Who puts their kid to bed at 7:00 pm?”
WE DO.
Yes, We have received mixed feedback about this, but it works for us. I know that 7:00 is early. I know that it cuts into their day, but I can tell you that I would rather have happy kids for 12 hours a day than tired or grumpy kids for 13 hours a day. (Our older kids wake up at 7:00 no matter what time they go to sleep. Really!)
Playing hard in the day makes kids tired by bedtime!
Our four YOUNG kids play hard during the day. They run around a lot and they spend a lot of time outside with us.
They are busy in the day, so they are tired when 7:00 rolls around.
They DO NOT nap anymore and they are just plain worn out by the evening, even if they don’t want to admit it (and they never do! haha!)
We have tried to push this back when we are on vacation, but they just aren’t as relaxed and easy-going the next day. They are a little more on edge, just like we are (as adults) when we don’t get the rest that we need. I put them to bed early because I want them to be smiling & ready to take on the day. 🙂
Plus- the are usually asleep in 5-15 minutes, so I know they are tired.
Do they ever stay up late?
YES! Once a month they each stay up late for Their Special Night. Plus, every night, our oldest son gets to have Read-Alone time in his room before bed, too. Or they can read their spelling words while they fall asleep with this little hack.
If that have football or wrestling, they are up even later, but we AIM for an early bedtime! Our younger children have a really hard time waking up for school at 7:00 am when he doesn’t get his full 12 hours of sleep, so I do try to get him to bed as early as possible.
I want him to be able to focus at school, be energetic in play and at his sports and be happy at home! This little chart can help you to know how much sleep they truly need…
Kidshealth.org says:
“Most kids between 5 and 12 get about 9.5 hours a night, but experts agree that most need more. When your body doesn’t have enough hours to rest, you may feel tired or cranky, or you may be unable to think clearly. You might have a hard time following directions, or you might have an argument with a friend over something really silly. A school assignment that’s normally easy may feel impossible, or you may feel clumsy playing your favorite sport or instrument.
Sleep Impacts Growth & Health
One more reason to get enough sleep: If you don’t, you may not grow as well. That’s right, researchers believe too little sleep can affect growth and your immune system — which keeps you from getting sick.” All in all- sleep is important! Your kids need it, even if they don’t WANT it.”
Do you have time with them in the evening?
I am not saying that this is right for everyone, so please hear me out. My husband and I both work from home, so this works for us. Two of our kids stay home with us during the day, and our older children go to school until 3:30. We have plenty of family time daily from 3:30 until bedtime.
Before my husband worked from home, I used to have the kids showered and in their pajamas before he got home, to give us more time together. Remember that it is quality over quantity.
Does it happen every night?
7:00 bedtime does not happen every single night, but it’s our goal every night. Most nights, one of our kids will be at practice until 8:00, so of course bedtime is later on that night.
Sometimes, it’s even earlier than 7:00. A few years ago, when my youngest kids were 3 & 5, they would fall asleep in the car at 6:00 on our way to drop the older kids off at practice… and I just take them up to bed and they slept ALL NIGHT LONG. They never woke up during the transition to bed. I know it’s crazy, but when I try to wake them, they are NOT happy, so on those nights, I just let it go.
It’s good for your marriage:
My husband and I see each other all day long while we work from home or while we are spending time with the kids, but at night we have time to watch a show, play a board game, etc…
Now, I am not saying that this is why we put them to bed early or that it is why we started, because it’s not, but we do enjoy that time together. Did you know that the #1 fear of preteens and teenagers is divorce among their parents? Quality time together, with your spouse, reduces this risk greatly.Make it a point to tell your children that you are going to spend time with your spouse.
Children Need Sleep
Remember- our bedtime certainly isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. It is healthy for our kids to get that amount of sleep and it helps them overall. Quality sleep + healthy foods make a huge difference for children (and adults).
On the other hand…
I wanted to share a story, for those of you that have a late bedtime. My very dear, long-time friend, Julia, has always had a late bedtime and her children follow her lead. They stay up well past 10:00 and it works for them. They sleep in every morning and they are happy, healthy, smart children. Her children are the same ages as mine. I know that I need to wait until 11:00 or later to talk to her on the phone. 🙂
All of that to say that this is what works for us, but it is up to you to find out what works best for your family.
I hope this helped to shed a little light on families with early bedtimes. Sleep well… no matter the time!♥
Personally this does not work for me. Not all of us can afford to work 5 hours a week. With my 2 jobs, if I did this I would literally see my kids an hour and a half a day and on days I have class I wouldn’t even have that. I’ve always been amazed with people who seem to want to get their kids to bed as early as possible. I miss every second I’m not with them.
Yes, if I had to work full-time, I’m sure this would not work for us, either. As I say in the post- do what works for your family.
A little over a week ago our niece asked us if we would take care of her 5 year old son, so that he could stay in his current school while they get back on their feet. We agreed. I was extremely concerned that he was sleeping 12 hours a night. THANK YOU…there is no longer any guilt about him going to bed at 7pm (and he says to us…I’m tired and going to go to bed). He is still difficult to get up at 6:45am to get ready for school and is a slow mover in the morning but now I understand this is the amount of sleep he needs. 🙂
Yes- it really makes a difference. How sweet of you to take care of him!!!
I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I am a teacher and I so wish that all parents had bedtimes for their kids! You can really tell the difference both behaviorally and academically between the kids who go to bed at a decent hour and those who don’t have a consistent night time routine! My parents had me in by bed by 7 until about 5th grade and after that I still had to go to bed by 8. I know it helped me out. 🙂
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YES!! I was a teacher, too, and you can REALLY see how it helps or harms the kids when they have adequate or inadequate hours of sleep.
I have an early riser (anywhere between 6:30 and 7:30) so I’d love an early bed time if it worked. Our challenge is that my husband doesn’t get home until 6:30 from work so until we eat it’s all but 7. We discussed it when our son was younger and we’re keeping a nap (he’s almost 4 1/2) as long as possible and letting him stay up until 9. Eventually we’ll have to drop the nap and bedtime may get earlier but for right now this works.
I would love to have more time to myself to tend to house work and such but right now we deal. 🙂
Oh- yes… getting home at 6:30 makes it hard. If our younger two nap, they are up later, too. 🙂
Great point of view. I think it is also cultural. I’m curious to see if you read “How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures.. I grew up in Latin America and we always, always went to bed late, and not only my family but most people in all socioeconomic backgrounds. I believe it’s the same in some parts of Europe. It was a time to bond with your family and friends.
True- I’m sure it really does depend on where you live and so many other factors…
You seem to have many philosophies that mirror my own. I am a firm believer in lots of play, fresh air, healthy meals at fixed times and early bedtime. We, too, have four children. They are 5, 3, 2 years and 2 months old. The older 3 go to bed at 6.30pm, much to the horror of some and the disbelief of many, even professionals who deal with children such as Doctors and Teachers. Here in the land of the rising sun, the average bed time is also rising. Many of my preschooler’s friends don’t go to bed until 10pm and their Mothers have a hard time getting them up for preschool. At a recent check-up for 3 year olds in the area, they sent us home with an information pamphlet with lots of recommendations, including a 9pm bedtime for children of that age. Much too late for my children, but as you say, different strokes for different folks. I could go on … maybe I will put it in a blogpost. We maybe in the minority, but there are still some who believe in the benefits of an early bedtime.
Thank you for a kind comment- after responding to many negative ones, a nice one is a breath of fresh air! 🙂
Our kids (7.5, 4, 2.5) are all in bed by 7pm and asleep by 7:15-7:30. They get up at 6:30-7am no matter when we put them to bed, so 7pm bedtime has worked for us so they are getting adequate sleep!
Ours, too – they have internal alarm clocks!
I agree with you!. My parents put us to bed religiously at 8:00 and it was so ingrained in me that in College I would study everyday , all my subjects, so that I would never have to put in an “all nighter” , I loved my sleep!
When my children were born, the same rule applied. They never complained. Every family has their own schedule and their own rules of discipline, you do what works for your family!
Congratulations on your beautiful family!
thank you, Carmen. That’s so kind of you.
What would you suggest that I do if I have 3 children ages 4, 2 and 7 weeks and my husband does not see the kids at all until 9pm because he works 14-14 hour days?
Because of that, it is about 9-9:30pm by the time they go to bed. The kids are in their PJ’s at this time.
I would love for them to sleep earlier, but I also want to make sure that they have quality time with their dad as well.
That is hard, but at that age, I think they can stay up a little later because they are not in school yet. 🙂
If our kids go to bed late, they just aren’t sleeping enough because they have to be up for school by 7:00.
The kids actually go to school, but they don’t have to go until 8:30am. My daughter goes everyday and my 2 year old goes Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I remember I was in bed by 8PM right up until I was in high school. I let my own kids stay up later, and when my Mom tried to tell me that my hubby and I needed alone time, I told her that the kids and their Dad needed time together too. We had plenty of time after they went to bed. Whatever works for each family is just fine. It’s not up to anyone else to tell you what to do, or how to do it.
Could not agree more!! 🙂
when do u sleep and cook?
What do you mean? 🙂
I cook usually during rest time (or use the crock pot)
I sleep … not enough!! I go to bed around 1 or 2am and wake up at 7:00 am. 🙂
We put our four kids to bed at seven too. First our one year old twins, then we take our 3 year old and once he is a sleep we send our six year old to bed which is usually closer to 8. We were pretty bad about having a consistent bedtime before we had the twin. If we were busy our kids would sometimes not go to bed till closer to 9. Once we set the seven o’clock bedtime and became super consistent about it I was pleasantly surprised how much more peaceful bedtime was and how much more content and rested the kids seemed during the day. Also after reading the chapter in nurture shock about sleep it was interesting to learn how higher iq was tied to more sleep. Not because the kids are born smarter but because their brains function better with more rest.
YES!!! That’s exactly it- it is expected, our evenings aren’t full of “But mom- we want to stay up…” because it just isn’t an option. Plus, they are so much happier when they get their rest. 🙂
If your kids are going to bed at 7pm, what time are they eating dinner?
We eat when my husband gets home from work- around 6:00.
I LOVE this post!! Everyone thinks I’m crazy for putting my kids to bed early, but I’m a full time student and when I’m not in school I work full time and my kids have to be up at 630 to get ready for daycare. We recently just moved out of town and my sons bus picks him up at 7. Even going to bed at 7 or 730 my kids still sleep until 7 in the morning, but they are also busy all day long!! They don’t play video games and they don’t watch tv all day. I, too, also need some down time. I don’t want down time at 10 o’clock at night because by then I am ready for bed!! My kids are hardly ever cranky, or tired because they are well rested and it makes for a much happier day.
Yes- same here. They are exhausted by 7:00 and ready for bed (& everyone thinks we are crazy, too)! 🙂
Hey . I completely agree with you. I am from an Asian family where nothing is beleived like sleep training or stuff. But i started sleep training around 8 months for my boy a year ago. Now he is great in sleeping and I put him to sleep around 8 to 9 pm so that he could wake up and have a nap in noon. He is 2 years now and I am now having another baby in next month. and i forgot to mention that i also work as a writer on freelancer and I work 3-4 hours at night after my boy sleeps. I am completely satisfied with his attitude and i thank to all writers who motivate moms that they need to try best..they dont owe any explanation to anyone..:)
Thank you!!