We all seem to get to this place at some point – we become the burnt-out mom … where we have to wonder how to keep up when you feel burnt out after having kids. it is just an exhausting (fun, but exhausting) time in our lives, while our children are young and need us so much. Plus, we have housework, errands, and work among other things…
Every day, I receive at least a dozen questions via Your Modern Family Facebook Message, from my readers. I then post them anonymously to my Your Modern Family Facebook page. I do this because it helps my readers to get a wide range of answers, instead of just one answer from me.
This week, I received a question that reached a lot of people, and I think it is because it is something that we can ALL relate to….
How do you keep up when you feel burnt out?
How do you find JUST FIVE MINUTES to yourself?
The question was:
Ever since the birth of my fourth child, I am having a hard time keeping up. They are 6, 4, 2, and almost 1. After the fourth birth, I burnt out badly and things got better until a few weeks ago when I started to feel the physical burn out again. I hate feeling tired every day. I hate feeling weak and like I’m wasting this precious time needing to be alone to regroup. I eat well, I exercise, I sleep!
Maybe my expectations are too high!
How do moms refuel, long term? I don’t feel like I even have 5 minutes to myself.”
- If you are feeling this way, remember that right now, it is all about doing your best to ‘survive’ in this busy time of life. You will be tired- that is a definite. You will be exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. That is just a phase.
- If you need to put on a movie and nap on the couch, do it. It’s not wasting time at all. You will be a better wife/mom/everything for it.
- Try to make sure you have adult contact every day–call a friend, whatever. It doesn’t need to be face to face, but it will rejuvenate you. Get outside if you can too, even if it’s just stepping into the front porch for a couple minutes. As moms, we have to steal those moments. Take advantage of them.
- Try to have some time for yourself – whether it is 20 minutes of devotion, prayer, meditation or journaling. It will refresh you.
- Join a mommy group! This was life-changing for me. I joined a local MOPS group and I made friends that were amazing, supportive, and fun. They are still some of my dearest friends, almost ten years later. Joining a group gives you a chance to talk (or complain) to other adults that understand you. You can find them online.
- Try to keep up with things, a little at a time. Take housework, for example – things such as never leaving a room without taking a few things with you make a big difference. Cook crockpot dinners. Small changes make a big difference.
- Join a gym. It will be your time to socialize and exercise. If you can’t afford this, find a gym that offers a scholarship (YMCA is a good one for this). Just call & ask- the worst that they can say is no.
- Or go running! 2 birds with one stone- Exercise and alone time! “When my youngest turned 4 and my oldest was 10 life got really EASY! Before then, running was my therapy. It’s definitely still hard, but the day to day that can bring you down or burn you out is gone! Enjoy every second of those little ones!”
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Take naps when the younger ones are napping.
- Put on headphones. “It doesn’t matter if my 3-year-old is screaming about wanting her zillionth Princess dress because I can’t hear it. I go from so tense to completely relaxed in seconds of putting on those headphones, even for just two minutes.”
- Being a mommy is hard work and very tiring. Let go of always having a perfect house or always entertaining your children.
- A short term solution may lead to long term positive results… 5 minutes to yourself every couple of hours will be a life-changer!
- Try pre-school or a nanny one day a week. Even look for a free Moms Morning Out (or start one!)
- Sleep is important AND so is the sun (go outside more!). Don’t try to do anything but be a mommy until things get under control.
- Ask your husband or even a family member if they can come over one day a week or one day a month and let you sleep in. My husband wakes up with our boys on Sunday and makes them pancakes while I sleep in just an extra 45 minutes, before waking up to get everyone ready. The kids LOVE this time with just him.
- Drink more water.
- Take time for yourself. Get out, even if it is for a few hours on a Saturday. (I like to grocery shop by myself on the weekends… mostly because I get it done SO much faster. Oh! And I have room in the car to put groceries when I am alone (Imagine that- using the cart to hold groceries & not kids).
Remember that “this, too, shall pass.” Try to just enjoy this moment.
You don’t have to be perfect- you just have to keep your children safe and love them. That’s it. You can do this!
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Oh- and have your kids help you with chores!!
Stop doing it for them – read why here!
Ps- always check with a doctor before starting
any new diet or supplement changes.