25 tips that will change your marriage

Maintaining a strong marriage is a lot harder than one would think, but it is also very possible.  Your marriage can grow in whatever season you are in.

This post was updated from its first publishing years ago.

Here are 25 tips that will change your marriage: 

(1) Make time for your marriage each and every day.  Maybe it is 20 minutes of talking every night or maybe eating breakfast together every morning, just the two of you.

(2) Let go of comparison and embrace your unique marriage.  Comparison is the killer of many marriages. I’ve seen far too many marriages go through rough patches after a lot of “I did the dishes while you watched TV…   Well… I cleaned out the car while you were at the store.”   Don’t get into this cycle.

(3) Even when marriage becomes a test, you can grow closer together.
You have to rely on each other – be the shoulder for the other to cry on.  You can stick together or move apart, so try to stick together in tough times.

(4) Remembering why you said “I do” can strengthen and renew your marriage.
If you forget the reasons, look back on your engagement times.  Remember your dating times.  Look at the person that you married and find the good in them.   Find their strengths and let go of their weaknesses.  Write down your reasons & then compare them.   Are any the same?

(5) Learning to simplify your commitments is key to a growing marriage.
You have to find time to be together – and if that means letting go of the things that cause stress or take up too much time, so be it!

(6) Make the time to date your spouse.
Go out once a month or more if you can.  My friend goes out with her husband every Tuesday night.   Her mom comes over and watches their daughters.  You can even have a game or movie night after the kids go to bed (that’s what we do!)

(7) Create space to talk with your spouse.
We like going out onto our back deck or front porch to talk and hang out.   Sometimes you need to get out of your normal routine (sitting in the living room with the TV on) to really connect.

(8) A strong marriage is more than just a beautiful wedding.
You have to remember this.   Marriage isn’t a wedding – it is what happens after the wedding… for a lifetime.

(9) Visit somewhere new together for a fresh adventure.
This is great advice!   If you can experience new things together, it will be so much fun for both of you!  Go somewhere new, find a new restaurant, explore a new vacation spot with your family or just go to a new trail or park.

(10) Take some time to learn your spouse’s personality type.
I also suggest reading the 5 Love Languages to do this-this book is a must-read for married couples.

(11) Learning from others and sharing your struggles can be a great way to grow a deeper marriage.
You have to trust each other and talk to one another.  I learned so much from my mom and dad. 

(12) Sometimes… you will annoy each other, and that is okay.
I heard one time that the key to being married is never falling out of love at the same time.   Yes, sometimes living with someone every day will get on your nerves.  They leave the towel on the floor, or they leave their shoes out… remember that you can’t fester at that moment, but also know that it is normal.

(13) Taking the time to read about marriage can help you constantly grow.
Finding marriage books or reading a book together is a great way to connect.   Here is my favorite book.

(14) Start a weekly husband/wife meeting together.
Make a meal plan together, make a schedule together and make any plans for the upcoming week.  Go over the calendar and talk about what you will be doing.

(15) Put your spouse first.
I read once that you should treat your spouse like a house guest.  If you get something, offer it to your spouse. If you go out, talk to your spouse about where you are going. It’s kind and respectful.

(16) Instead of wasting time on worry, be confident in your marriage.
You have to work on having a strong marriage.  After kids, you will need to work at it even more.   These tips will help.

(17) Speak life into each other.
Your spouse needs to hear words of encouragement, too.  They need to know that you appreciate them.   Speaking kind words will build someone up quicker than anything I’ve seen.

(18) Kiss more than you complain.
Every day, kiss your spouse.   Kiss them ‘goodbye’ when they leave and ‘welcome home’ when they get back.  Hug them first thing in the morning and as the last thing before you go to bed.   Hold their hand when you are walking or when you are sitting side by side.   It matters.

(19) Support each other in whatever you do.
Your biggest fan should be your spouse.   My dad once said, “if it is important to your mom, it is important to me.”

(20) Don’t criticize and correct your spouse.
Never criticize or correct your spouse in public.  It is humiliating.  Mickey and I agreed never to “throw each other under the bus” when we are out.  Instead, we stand united about all decisions.   We also make it a point never to make one another feel like the root of our jokes.

(21) Speak to each other’s love language.  This is the best thing that you can do for your marriage, but you both have to be on board!  Grab the 5 Love Languages book here. 

(22) Your marriage can grow after kids to be even stronger than ever… try these tips!

(23) Be a champion for your spouse.  Be their biggest fan, and they will be yours.  Your dreams are his dreams, and his dreams are yours.

(24) The simple act of turning off your phone can provide a way to grow closer.  Just put it down & concentrate on the person next to you. ♥

(25) Praying together and separately is a great practice for a strong marriage… just like talking.  It bonds you & brings you closer for a deeper connection.

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