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Why I put my kids to bed at 7:00 … it is a hot topic, that’s for sure! When our children were younger, we had all of our kids in bed around 7:00 every night. They were asleep around 7:30 every night.
UPDATE: This post was written several years ago in 2014, when our kids were much younger, but I believe that it is important. We still maintain a regular bedtime, but they no longer go to bed as early as they once did.
I owe so many well-rested nights and happy children during the day to the fact that we have a regular and early bedtime for our children. In fact, many Dutch parents put their kids to bed between 6:00 & 7:00 for very similar reasons that we have an early bedtime.
Before I begin- remember that although this works for us, it is not for everyone. As with all of my advice, do what works best for your family. ♥
Our kids (ages 2-9) are in bed by 7:00
Yes, our young children are in bed at 7:00. It is 2014, and my children range from 2 years old to 9 years old. Our 9 year old now goes to bed at 8:00, because he is older and needs less sleep. Until they are 9 years old, 7:00 remains their bedtime.
Last week, a fellow blogger shared my post about what to do when your 2 year old is still waking at night. In the post I talked about our early bedtime and gave some life-changing advice for our toddler that was waking up. That post led someone to leave the comment “Who puts their kid to bed at 7:00 pm?”
WE DO.
Yes, We have received mixed feedback about this, but it works for us. I know that 7:00 is early. I know that it cuts into their day, but I can tell you that I would rather have happy kids for 12 hours a day than tired or grumpy kids for 13 hours a day. (Our older kids wake up at 7:00 no matter what time they go to sleep. Really!)
Playing hard in the day makes kids tired by bedtime!
Our four YOUNG kids play hard during the day. They run around a lot and they spend a lot of time outside with us.
They are busy in the day, so they are tired when 7:00 rolls around.
They DO NOT nap anymore and they are just plain worn out by the evening, even if they don’t want to admit it (and they never do! haha!)
We have tried to push this back when we are on vacation, but they just aren’t as relaxed and easy-going the next day. They are a little more on edge, just like we are (as adults) when we don’t get the rest that we need. I put them to bed early because I want them to be smiling & ready to take on the day. 🙂
Plus- the are usually asleep in 5-15 minutes, so I know they are tired.
Do they ever stay up late?
YES! Once a month they each stay up late for Their Special Night. Plus, every night, our oldest son gets to have Read-Alone time in his room before bed, too. Or they can read their spelling words while they fall asleep with this little hack.
If that have football or wrestling, they are up even later, but we AIM for an early bedtime! Our younger children have a really hard time waking up for school at 7:00 am when he doesn’t get his full 12 hours of sleep, so I do try to get him to bed as early as possible.
I want him to be able to focus at school, be energetic in play and at his sports and be happy at home! This little chart can help you to know how much sleep they truly need…
Kidshealth.org says:
“Most kids between 5 and 12 get about 9.5 hours a night, but experts agree that most need more. When your body doesn’t have enough hours to rest, you may feel tired or cranky, or you may be unable to think clearly. You might have a hard time following directions, or you might have an argument with a friend over something really silly. A school assignment that’s normally easy may feel impossible, or you may feel clumsy playing your favorite sport or instrument.
Sleep Impacts Growth & Health
One more reason to get enough sleep: If you don’t, you may not grow as well. That’s right, researchers believe too little sleep can affect growth and your immune system — which keeps you from getting sick.” All in all- sleep is important! Your kids need it, even if they don’t WANT it.”
Do you have time with them in the evening?
I am not saying that this is right for everyone, so please hear me out. My husband and I both work from home, so this works for us. Two of our kids stay home with us during the day, and our older children go to school until 3:30. We have plenty of family time daily from 3:30 until bedtime.
Before my husband worked from home, I used to have the kids showered and in their pajamas before he got home, to give us more time together. Remember that it is quality over quantity.
Does it happen every night?
7:00 bedtime does not happen every single night, but it’s our goal every night. Most nights, one of our kids will be at practice until 8:00, so of course bedtime is later on that night.
Sometimes, it’s even earlier than 7:00. A few years ago, when my youngest kids were 3 & 5, they would fall asleep in the car at 6:00 on our way to drop the older kids off at practice… and I just take them up to bed and they slept ALL NIGHT LONG. They never woke up during the transition to bed. I know it’s crazy, but when I try to wake them, they are NOT happy, so on those nights, I just let it go.
It’s good for your marriage:
My husband and I see each other all day long while we work from home or while we are spending time with the kids, but at night we have time to watch a show, play a board game, etc…
Now, I am not saying that this is why we put them to bed early or that it is why we started, because it’s not, but we do enjoy that time together. Did you know that the #1 fear of preteens and teenagers is divorce among their parents? Quality time together, with your spouse, reduces this risk greatly.Make it a point to tell your children that you are going to spend time with your spouse.
Children Need Sleep
Remember- our bedtime certainly isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. It is healthy for our kids to get that amount of sleep and it helps them overall. Quality sleep + healthy foods make a huge difference for children (and adults).
On the other hand…
I wanted to share a story, for those of you that have a late bedtime. My very dear, long-time friend, Julia, has always had a late bedtime and her children follow her lead. They stay up well past 10:00 and it works for them. They sleep in every morning and they are happy, healthy, smart children. Her children are the same ages as mine. I know that I need to wait until 11:00 or later to talk to her on the phone. 🙂
All of that to say that this is what works for us, but it is up to you to find out what works best for your family.
I hope this helped to shed a little light on families with early bedtimes. Sleep well… no matter the time!♥
My daughter is 3.5 years old and she goes to bed around 7:30 pm. I used to put her to bed at 7:00 pm and she would sleep straight through until 7:00 am the next day with a 1-2.5 hour nap during the day. These days, she sleeps less at night, so I put her to be a little later in order for her to sleep in a little later (which is usually 6:30 am). When I was in school I had to get her up at 6:00 am every morning and it was a real battle because she was still tired. I just finished school and am loving the fact that I can let her sleep in until she’s ready to get up, whatever time that may be. Kids really do need a lot of sleep.
Agreed 🙂
I just wanted to say I totally agree with the early, or as I call it normal, bed time. We start bed time at 7 for my three year old. She rarely has a nap during the day now and by that time is showing all the signs of being tired and ready to sleep. My husband does the whole bedtime routine and I go in for story time. This is balanced by me doing the mornings. I get half an hour to myself and he gets one on one fun time with her and we both get time together.
I love that balance!
OK, folks!i have a question for you.Do your children sleep all in one room? I have some trouble with my two boys, aged 3 and 1. As of 3 months we have real difficulties putting the eldest to sleep.He still naps during the day (1,5-2 hours).He seems to be tired at around 17 00 but then later on if I am putting him to bed at 19.00 or a bit earlier or later, doesn’t matter when, he is just not staying in bed, not falling asleep. He keeps walking out of the room.I keep bringing him back, and it sometimes takes 10 times or more and crying and whatever else….He used to wake up at 6 in the morning, sometimes he wakes up at 7 now. My youngest goes to bed at 6.30-7.00 r a tad later,depending on how late he slept during the day. But he is normally always asleep by 7.30. They are in separate rooms until now but we want to put them together soon.However I am not sure if it is good idea and how to do this best.If the oldest one ends up coming to our room to sleep (he has an extra mattress there) the youngest one often wakes up and can not settle on his own. So I am worried I can’t out them to bed at the same time in one room. One will always wake the other. Moreover in the morning the youngest one usually wakes up at 5.30-or sometimes at 6 but never later. If he starts crying (as he is very hungry by then and I need to give him a bottle of milk straight away!!!) I am afraid he will wake the older one…
Do you have any ideas for my situation??? Thanks, I appreciate any help!!!
I have this question set to go live on my Facebook page at 10:00 ESt. 🙂
We too aim to put our kids to bed early- usually between 6:30/7:00. This works for us and our children. They don’t necessarily have to go to sleep straight away but it is certainly ” wind down” time. The 9 yo stays up a bit later to about 8:30 but as the other 3 kids are only 6,4 & 3 & they are woken up at 6:00 am to leave home by 7:00( we live outside of town by 30 mins so there is travel for daycare/ school drop offs) we find this routine works for everybody in our household? What works for one family won’t work for another so no judgement here ?
Yes, our oldest son is going to get an extra 30 minutes when he turns 9, too. 🙂
PS- our kids are very close in age!
Hi there, I have 2 boys 9 and 6. My 9 year old is an insomniac just like me. My husband also gets home later than the norm. 7pm does not work for us. My 6 year old goes to sleep at 8 an d 9 year old is a fight to get down at 9, because he simply is not tired. He also wakes frequently during the night. He is a perfectly happy, energetic boy during the day. I don’t judge anyone else on their kids sleeping habits, and I expect the same in return. Just because my kids are not in bed at 7 does not mean I am a bad parent. I must say I have never heard of anyone being judged for putting their kids to bed early, usually it’s a person like me who gets looked down on. We all do the best we can and what works for our families.
My husband and I both work from home, so it works for us. Different strokes for different folks- you really have to do what works for your family.
My children are 10 & 12 years old. They have always had an early bed time. ALWAYS. 6:30 when young, then 7, then 7:30 for many years. In fact, now they are in their rooms by 8 pm and lights out by 8:30. This was hard work over the years. Here is what we did:
We didn’t really schedule night activities. If we attended an evening activity, we ate an early dinner, gave the kids baths, and did what we called “superman”. The kids put their pajamas on under their clothes (if it was a cooler season) if it was summer we took pjs with us. We always carry toothbrushes. Their aunt lives 45 minutes away, so when we’d go there on occasion for holidays, etc…they would take a bath around 6, pajamas on, they had toothbrushes there and we would put them in the car around 7-7:30. They were always easily transferable to the bed once we got home. Luckily for me, my Asian American children were always small for their age.
Now both kids have Scouts once a week until 8 pm, so they take a shower before hand and come home and got straight to bed.
Why do I do this? I had read that their developing brains need 10-12 hours of sleep for things to go into their long term memory. What was the result? My kids both excel at school, are both in the 99% for their age level for cognitive ability, math and verbal skills.
The worst comment I ever got was a friend telling another friend she keeps her kids up, because she likes them. I put my kids to bed early because I love them. Even when we are in a hotel, we turn the lights off early. We don’t talk for 20 minutes after they fall asleep because that is approximately how long it takes to fall into REM, a deeper sleep.
If we break from this routine, we definitely see a change in behavior. We keep this routine even when traveling and we travel a LOT. As a result, we have bright, knowledgable kids, we get comments on their excellent behavior and they know how to put themselves to sleep, which is the best gift you can give a child. I once watched a friend argue with her 7 year old daughter for 3 hours about going to bed, I watched another friend’s 8 year old daughter cling to her leg as she tried to head out for a 9:30 movie, while at Grandma’s house.
We like our lifestyle. It was hard work in the early years, but it has paid off.
Such great points!
Hi,
I liked your article. We have twin girls that are now 10 1/2 and going into the 5th grade. We have always had an early bedtime and once they started school, it was a strict 7 PM. Even my husband and I have a strict bedtime of 9 PM because we get up at 4 AM during the week. Our girls have to get up at 6 AM each morning for me to get to work on time. My husband and I both work, but luckily I am home with them everyday by 4:30. Although, the bedtime has worked, I do wonder how two parents who both work and don’t get home until about 6 or so every day would do this and am thankful I get to be home earlier to get dinner ready and help and check a tremendous amount of homework every night.
They have several friends who get to stay up much later (some brag about no bedtime at all) but our girls have never even questioned it because we have always been firm. They are very good children and do excellent in school every year. And although I have never judged what other people are deciding for their children, I do get remarks from other moms asking how I get my girls to bed at 7 every night – their child would never go to bed that early. Uhhh….I’m the parent!
I do notice my girls are talking a bit longer each night and I am going to change their bedtime to 7:30 PM this upcoming school year.
My husband gets less time with the girls than I do, but he plays more with them since I’m doing “mom” things..lol We have dinner together as a family every night and discuss our day and they get tucked in by both of us as well. They seem well adjusted and I like our routine 🙂
That is so funny – my friend just said the same thing (that her husband does more “play” things because she does more “mom” things).
My kids are now 2 and 5 and they go to bed at about 8-8.30pm and wake up at 7am. They’re not sleepy at all, the 5 year old doesn’t take any naps and the 2 year old takes a 1-2 hour nap regardless of how much he’s slept during the night. Works for us. We want to spend some time with them during the week and they really appreciate/enjoy the time with us, this is crucial for their development. We have other rules, no TV, no electronic gadgets. On demand documentaries or movies on occasion is fine. This is mainly a cultural thing. In England kids have much less social interaction than in countries like France or Spain. You go to a park here in a glorious August day at 6pm and there’s not a soul. You do the same in Barcelona at 8-9pm and it’s full of families any day of the year, and the children and teenager attitudes look much healthier too. Similar thing in Australia. It has nothing to do with the weather, it’s the mentality, the extreme self-consciousness and the tendency to follow rules in the “modern” corporate culture impregnating every aspect of our lives.
Yes- you have to do what works best for your family. 🙂 My husband and I work from home full time, so we get to spend a lot of time with the kids (especially since we do most of our work when the kids are asleep). I think every family is different.
I think it is so fantastic that you make your marriage a priority! Many parents forget to do that!
Thanks. 🙂
Best way for me to remember
This is a great article, and it’s really too bad that people give you a hard time about putting your kids to bed early. I have a teenager who absolutely needs her sleep, and then I have my youngest, who from day one, actually prior to day one (in the womb) was much more active and awake than most kids. She not only needs less sleep than most, she *thrives* on less sleep. I tried for years to get her to sleep more, and finally around age 3, I just gave in and let her stay up until 10pm. Now (at 4 years old) she wakes around 6 or 7 and at least she sleeps all night, but she’s not tired at all. She is extremely advanced academically, and doesn’t get tired during the day. She’s just one of the 2% of people in the world who thrive on very little sleep. Accepting that has given our family so much more peace, and me more sleep since I’m no longer waking for the day at 4am! Definitely different strokes!
I’m that way (I only need a few hours). 🙂 I think it is so different for each person/child.
Very interesting article! My 2 and a half years old daughter would be happy to sleep at 7pm but then she deferentially wont nap the next day as you mentioned. I work from home so nap time is precious for me. However, once she goes to school, your tips will be very helpful. Thank you!
I’m glad it helped. 🙂 (ps- I work from home, too, so I can relate) 🙂
Personally I love spending time with my kids (3 & 4). Their father and I take them to daycare at 7:30am and they are still a little sleepy. We then pick them up after work @ 5:30pm. My kids don’t go to sleep until 10 even tho we put them down to sleep around 9. We usually let them watch a movie to go to sleep to and then turn it off once they are asleep. (Its not healthy for tv to be on while sleeping) I wouldn’t want to only spend 2 hrs with them a day. They are too interesting and cute and fun. My kids make the rest of the day great! Only seeing their cuteness for 2 hrs.. is just not long enough for me personally.
Oh, yeah… That would be hard to only see them for two hours a day.
You are abusive to your children. Read this article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sleeping-angels/200905/how-much-sleep-do-children-actually-need… what if you were stuck in bet for 11 hours? How would you feel? Your back would hurt, and you wouldn’t sleep very good. Bottom line is you put your kids to bed early so that you will have time to yourself. You have no scientific evidence for your claims, and what evidence you do have is anecdotal. Kids need a regular sleep schedule, not a longer one. Kids need no more sleep than an adult, and you have a pretty heavy burden of proof to to get over to argue against that. The three questions are: would you feel tired when you woke up after that much sleep? Does the child fall asleep easily? Is the child tired and falling asleep at school? Parents all too often blame behavioral issues on lack of sleep (I know that my mom blamed everything on lack of sleep.), when really, that that you let your child behave poorly. People need to stop blaming things without scientific evidence.
Thanks for the article, but our kids actually sleep past the 12 hours. Our daughter sleeps from 7:00 pm – between 8am & 10am, so even if I put her to bed late, keeping them in bed 11 hours is never an issue, because they sleep more than 11 hours naturally and always have. Their bodies need the sleep. To each their own.
thank you for this article. I can’t believe how much guilt I get from neighbours and even my mother when I tell them my daughter goes to bed by 7pm. I’m always feeling like I have to explain myself! My daughter is one that has always needed 12-13 hours sleep. When she was a toddler she would often sleep up to 14-15 hours without waking! Since she started Kindergarten last year she is wiped when she gets home. So I’ve kept the same sleep schedule even though she is now six. We get in bed at 6:30 and read or talk and snuggle. When 7pm comes along she is out within 5 mins!
This is why I appreciate your thoughts because I was starting to second guess my decision based on so many negative opinions from other parents. But not anymore. My daughter is always in a good mood in the morning and the nights she does have to go to bed late, she is a grump. lol
Oh, I know, but don’t feel guilty. We do what we know is best for our family. 🙂