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Why I put my kids to bed at 7:00 … it is a hot topic, that’s for sure! When our children were younger, we had all of our kids in bed around 7:00 every night. They were asleep around 7:30 every night.
UPDATE: This post was written several years ago in 2014, when our kids were much younger, but I believe that it is important. We still maintain a regular bedtime, but they no longer go to bed as early as they once did.
I owe so many well-rested nights and happy children during the day to the fact that we have a regular and early bedtime for our children. In fact, many Dutch parents put their kids to bed between 6:00 & 7:00 for very similar reasons that we have an early bedtime.
Before I begin- remember that although this works for us, it is not for everyone. As with all of my advice, do what works best for your family. ♥
Our kids (ages 2-9) are in bed by 7:00
Yes, our young children are in bed at 7:00. It is 2014, and my children range from 2 years old to 9 years old. Our 9 year old now goes to bed at 8:00, because he is older and needs less sleep. Until they are 9 years old, 7:00 remains their bedtime.
Last week, a fellow blogger shared my post about what to do when your 2 year old is still waking at night. In the post I talked about our early bedtime and gave some life-changing advice for our toddler that was waking up. That post led someone to leave the comment “Who puts their kid to bed at 7:00 pm?”
WE DO.
Yes, We have received mixed feedback about this, but it works for us. I know that 7:00 is early. I know that it cuts into their day, but I can tell you that I would rather have happy kids for 12 hours a day than tired or grumpy kids for 13 hours a day. (Our older kids wake up at 7:00 no matter what time they go to sleep. Really!)
Playing hard in the day makes kids tired by bedtime!
Our four YOUNG kids play hard during the day. They run around a lot and they spend a lot of time outside with us.
They are busy in the day, so they are tired when 7:00 rolls around.
They DO NOT nap anymore and they are just plain worn out by the evening, even if they don’t want to admit it (and they never do! haha!)
We have tried to push this back when we are on vacation, but they just aren’t as relaxed and easy-going the next day. They are a little more on edge, just like we are (as adults) when we don’t get the rest that we need. I put them to bed early because I want them to be smiling & ready to take on the day. 🙂
Plus- the are usually asleep in 5-15 minutes, so I know they are tired.
Do they ever stay up late?
YES! Once a month they each stay up late for Their Special Night. Plus, every night, our oldest son gets to have Read-Alone time in his room before bed, too. Or they can read their spelling words while they fall asleep with this little hack.
If that have football or wrestling, they are up even later, but we AIM for an early bedtime! Our younger children have a really hard time waking up for school at 7:00 am when he doesn’t get his full 12 hours of sleep, so I do try to get him to bed as early as possible.
I want him to be able to focus at school, be energetic in play and at his sports and be happy at home! This little chart can help you to know how much sleep they truly need…
Kidshealth.org says:
“Most kids between 5 and 12 get about 9.5 hours a night, but experts agree that most need more. When your body doesn’t have enough hours to rest, you may feel tired or cranky, or you may be unable to think clearly. You might have a hard time following directions, or you might have an argument with a friend over something really silly. A school assignment that’s normally easy may feel impossible, or you may feel clumsy playing your favorite sport or instrument.
Sleep Impacts Growth & Health
One more reason to get enough sleep: If you don’t, you may not grow as well. That’s right, researchers believe too little sleep can affect growth and your immune system — which keeps you from getting sick.” All in all- sleep is important! Your kids need it, even if they don’t WANT it.”
Do you have time with them in the evening?
I am not saying that this is right for everyone, so please hear me out. My husband and I both work from home, so this works for us. Two of our kids stay home with us during the day, and our older children go to school until 3:30. We have plenty of family time daily from 3:30 until bedtime.
Before my husband worked from home, I used to have the kids showered and in their pajamas before he got home, to give us more time together. Remember that it is quality over quantity.
Does it happen every night?
7:00 bedtime does not happen every single night, but it’s our goal every night. Most nights, one of our kids will be at practice until 8:00, so of course bedtime is later on that night.
Sometimes, it’s even earlier than 7:00. A few years ago, when my youngest kids were 3 & 5, they would fall asleep in the car at 6:00 on our way to drop the older kids off at practice… and I just take them up to bed and they slept ALL NIGHT LONG. They never woke up during the transition to bed. I know it’s crazy, but when I try to wake them, they are NOT happy, so on those nights, I just let it go.
It’s good for your marriage:
My husband and I see each other all day long while we work from home or while we are spending time with the kids, but at night we have time to watch a show, play a board game, etc…
Now, I am not saying that this is why we put them to bed early or that it is why we started, because it’s not, but we do enjoy that time together. Did you know that the #1 fear of preteens and teenagers is divorce among their parents? Quality time together, with your spouse, reduces this risk greatly.Make it a point to tell your children that you are going to spend time with your spouse.
Children Need Sleep
Remember- our bedtime certainly isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. It is healthy for our kids to get that amount of sleep and it helps them overall. Quality sleep + healthy foods make a huge difference for children (and adults).
On the other hand…
I wanted to share a story, for those of you that have a late bedtime. My very dear, long-time friend, Julia, has always had a late bedtime and her children follow her lead. They stay up well past 10:00 and it works for them. They sleep in every morning and they are happy, healthy, smart children. Her children are the same ages as mine. I know that I need to wait until 11:00 or later to talk to her on the phone. 🙂
All of that to say that this is what works for us, but it is up to you to find out what works best for your family.
I hope this helped to shed a little light on families with early bedtimes. Sleep well… no matter the time!♥
I completely agree. My little guy goes to sleep at 7 every night, otherwise he is miserable throughout the day. It’s harder in the summer when it’s still light outside but I can just tell we are all happier, more productive people when he gets a good 12-13 hours of sleep. Not to mention, its nice to connect with your husband at that time. Great read!
my son is 9. I like him in bed going to sleep by 8:30 but most of the time, it’s after 9 pm until he’s even getting in bed.
Here is what happens after school- I’m a SAHM and I get him at school at 3:30, we live next door to his grandparents so he goes over there to play till 4:30 (some one on one time with his grandma). I start fixing dinner and we eat at 5:00 pm. My husband is self-employed, and is dirty when he comes home, so he takes a bath as soon as he gets home. We eat dinner, I clean up the kitchen while my husband and son play together.
Then I try to get my son to get any homework done, and he is supposed to read to an adult for at least 20 minutes. Then I have my son take his bath. This is what I wish would happen, but my son usually protest and wants to keep playing. Before I know it, it’s 7 pm, and he is STILL playing.
When reading, and home work are done, and I make him get in the tub, of course he wants to play in there. When I DO finally get him in bed at 8:30, he wants me to read to him and hold his hand while he falls asleep. ( I don’t mind holding his hand while he falls asleep) I still have to take a bath and I wash my hair and shave every other night and it takes me 30 minutes for a bath on these nights.
So, most nights, I finally get some alone time with my hubby and by this time, it’s 10 pm, watch the news and go to bed.
I don’t know how to speed things up so my son is asleep earlier. I would love for him to be in bed by 7:15. I read to him, then Daddy comes in and says good night, then I talk to him and tell him good night, hold his hand if he wants me to.
I guess my ? Is- how do I get him in bed at a decent time, so I can have time with my husband to watch a whole show together at night?
WE do homework right after school & get everything else done (pajamas, etc..) before dinner when my husband gets home. 🙂 that might help. ??
I don’t know if this will help Jono but this is what we do with our 10 year old:
School pick up is 3pm. We’re home by 3.10 at the latest as we just live around the corner.
Homework is done once coats and shoes are of, accompanies by a snack and music if he fancies. We find this works because he is still in ‘school mode’. It always seemed to be more of a battle to get homework done once he’d unwound and so once it’s done it’s out of the way. Even my son admits it’s much better.
For shower time, have you tried letting him help make a playlist of his favourite songs to play while he’s in there? If you make it last the length you expect the shower and drying up should take then it might make it feel a little more fun. We can usually hear my son singing at the top of his voice, lol!
For everything else we have alarms (except showering as he prefers to shower in the morning ).
Alarm 1 – 8.15pm
This is ‘get ready for bed’ alarm’. He has half an hour which also includes story time so the impetus is on him not to mess around. The quicker he’s ready the more story time he has.
Alarm 2 – 8.45pm
Bedtime alarm. He hops off to bed for personal reading time.
Alarm 3 – 9pm
Lights out and go to sleep!
If you like the alarms idea then you could incorporate a shower/bath time alarm.
The great thing about the alarms is that there are no battles. He can’t argue with an alarm or try to negotiate with it! ;D And they set his body into a pattern. Some nights the first alarm goes off, he just disappears without a word, returning all washed and brushed ready for bed!
Hope that’s of some help?
x
I am a preschool teacher at a child care center most of our children do not leave till 6:30pm and some have 30 min ride homes I see it with these children who do not get enough sleep by 9am there cranky but I feel bad for the entire family . By time they get home unwind eat dinner get a bath it’s well after 8pm . I am lucky that I have a great sleeper my son is 3.5 and we go to bed at 8pm and up at 6:45am but he naps usually 2.5 hrs at nap . I’ve tried the 7pm bedtime but than he wakes up at 1am and is hard to return to sleep. I agree that kids need their rest to get through their day ! You should not have to explain your lifestyle to anyone everyone’s home is run different !
lol- thanks! 🙂
I am sorry but I still didn’t get it. I agree that you don’t have to explain yourself to anybody and whatever works for you is what you should be doing. I didn’t understand why, though, putting them to bed at 7pm. My 18month old takes a nap of two hours at noon and then goes to bed at 9pm. He still gets up at 9am approx, so he is not missing any sleep. Why would it be better for me to put him to bed at 7pm?
No- I was just saying that our kids get up at 7, so I put them to bed at 7. 🙂
I am reading your comments with a little envy. You are sooo lucky and I wish I could do that. My child who is 5 has NEVER slept more than 10 hours, he regularly sleeps between 9 and 10 hours a day and I never put alarm clock because he always wakes us up. I wish I could put him to bed at 7!!! If I do, he’ll wake up at 4 in the morning!!! I always struggle to get some sleep myself, and some days it is really hard for me to cope with a child who needs little sleep. I feel I need it more than him!
I would give it a shot by moving it up a 1/2 hour a week. 🙂 I bet your little one will sleep later than you think. (well hopefully!)
I have three kids, 17, 15 and 8. Unless there are activities such as football all three of my kids are in bed at 8:00 on school nights. There is no technology in bed and they have quiet reading time before they sleep. The little one has lights out at 8:30, the older ones are around 10. Obviously it is more difficult to enforce the bed time for the older two, but they are so used to the routine and frankly they know they need the sleep, I rarely have to fuss at them about lights out. I have ALWAYS been very strict about bed times. The kids, especially the older ones, get up so early and have so much to do that they need all the sleep they can get. As for myself, I find it is nice to have some quiet time with my hubby to relax. It is all personal opinion and you need to find what works, but I am always amazed by parents who say to me, how do you do it? I can’t get my little one in bed before 11:00? I am the mom and there is no arguing. That is how I do it. (plus I go to bed before 10 most nights to they have to also!) 🙂
I love it! everyone thinks I’m crazy because my middle daughter who just turned 5 goes to bed between 6 and 6:30. She gets up for school at 630am and needs at least 12 hours to function with out that the drama queen melt downs come out. Up until she was 3 she went to bed at 5pm (even with a 2 hour nap). If she goes to bed late because of activity or something unforeseen that came up it takes her days to catch up on her sleep. She has to make up minute for minute she lost. My 21 month old goes to bed at 630pm and gets up about 630am and naps for 2 hrs. My oldest gets mad at me because her friends go to bed “late” which is 9 or so. She is 8. She has some special needs and is unable to settle herself for bed. She takes her medicine at 730pm and then goes to read and is usually passed out by 8. Unfortunately she wakes up a lot a night and sometimes has trouble going back to sleep. She has to get up for morning medication at 5:45 during the school week and she is usually awake already. Mornings run smoother when she does clock enough sleep. Friday and Saturday nights I let her stay up until 9 at the latest, but she will usually sleep until about 8, while the other 2 do not deviate because they do not sleep later. Once the two littles are off to bed I tidy up, fold the laundry for the 12th time (the 21 month old is not a good helper yet,) get things ready for tomorrow. Hang out with the 8 year old and watch tv with her or what ever she chooses. Then tuck her in with a book and then I have free time. Relax, watch tv, get sucked into pinterest…lol or if I am super worn, I go to bed. I love it! Usually we do not go anywhere past 4pm, unless we have soccer practice or cheer or a school activity and we always requested the earliest time and go right when things begin.
everyone thinks we’re crazy, too! 🙂
Well, most of my close friends do the same thing… but many don’t. 🙂
I have been trying to adjust to new school hours this year. The kids age 8, 10, and 12. HAve to get up earlier this year due to different busses and bus schedules. I tried to keep the bed times at 8:30, but realized the crankiness was becoming worse. So I started changing time 30 min a night. It went from 8:30 to 8:00 and we stayed like that till they got used to the new time. We have made it back to 7:00 children are not fighting as much. Tempers are lower they don’t act dead tired by the time they make it home from school.I am enjoying the change since we changed bed times. It is so much more peaceful.
We have 3 children (6,7 & 10) and our 6 year old goes to bed at 6:30 our 7 year old goes at 7pm and our 10 goes at 7pm but reads til 8pm. All of them are doing super well at school and I am sure this is down to a good nights sleep every night and routine. If they stay up later for any reason it takes them a few nights to catch up again. Good on you for sharing this as we get a LOT of frowns when we tell people!
Same here!
We have a near 7 year old and 9 year old, so they are a bit older. But bed time routine start at 7. First with a shower, then my husband reads them a story (that is his time with them), and then prayers and bed. We try by 8pm for them to be bedded down. Sometimes it is later, on Monday’s for our son, Tuesdays for our daughter. As their activity that night run until 8pm. They go straight to showers and bed after that. On Wednesdays they get showers early and dinner, as we have biblestudy, and they go to child care at church (in their PJ’s ;)). And once we are done, we go home and they go straight to bed. If they land in bed after 9pm, they are cranky pants in the morning. So I’d have to deal with the end of the stick of that. Lol. Don’t want that.
They need a good 10-12 hours of sleep to function. Next to that comes that both our children (through foster adoption) have Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and falling asleep is a struggle as it is and their brains are fried after a day of school and other activities. Their brains need to be refreshed and re energized through out the night so they can pay attention in school.
My 2 & 4 yr old’s bedtime is 10pm. But they sleep until 9 am. Still 11 hrs. My 2yr old also takes a 2hr nap. 4 yr old sometimes (if I can get her to) My friend constantly says “what are you going to do when she goes to school and has to get up early?” I will shift their schedules of course. Duh. If I know they have to be up early then they of course go to bed early the night before. It really doesn’t have to be that complicated.
Agreed – you sound just like my dear friend!! 🙂
My kids aged 3, 6, 9,11 all go to bed at 7-7:30pm every night. Occasionally later, ours too depends on sport. Summer thursday nights is basketball until just after 7pm, so its closer to 8. Friday nights is 8:30 due to cricketor baseball. We are busy, school, playdates, sports, family time. And they need it, if they goto everynight at 8:8:30 after a week they become tired, the fight, talk back, struggle to wake up. After 2 plus week headaches start etc. i refuse to follow the crowd, mymkids get put the sleep at a time they need for them. I personally go to bed at 8:30-9 pm, wake at 6 am. This allows for those few minsutes of unwinding and any child or oet induced nighttime wake ups, kids need sleep, i often wonder how much more polite and well behaved some kids would be if they got even an hours extra more sleep a night???
Hi, I really envy you putting your kids to bed at 7.00pm. I need some advice because my almost 3 year old son is difficult to put to bed, sometimes we struggle until past midnight because he cries and screams. We are both studying, I wish he can sleep early (and not staying up like us, most nights), so that he’ll be able to get enough sleep and rest, and probably wake up early too. He missed a number of scheduled playgroups because he woke up at 10 or 11am and if he did not get enough sleep, he’ll be grumpy and cranky – you know, and it will ruin our morning routine.
OH- that’s really hard! I would just keep trying. I would move bedtime up by 30 minutes a week until you are at your desired bedtime. I would keep putting him back into his bed, gently and without talking, until he stays in bed. This could mean you are doing it 50 times… but by day 3, he will realize that staying in his bed is the only thing that is going to work. Coming out just means that he gets put back in. Good luck!
Loved this post! I was beginning to think I was a l ok ne soldier. Our girls (6 and 7) are early to bed. 630 to 7 pm for my 6 yr old and 7ish for my 7 yr old. Before school, they were in bed at 6pm! And had been like that since they were babies. I’ve often had comments from people about… how on earth do you get them in to bed so early, REALLY. .. you have them in bed by then!? Like you… my husband and I have always agreed that WE need our down time, our girls are tired and they NEED to go to bed, especially our youngest, she doesn’t cope at all well when she hasn’t had enough sleep. Over the last 12mths we’ve allowed them to go to bed a little later (7ish), but that is due to school, after school commitments, homework and now, their love of reading. It’s not always easy, but it’s SO worth it, for the entire family, when they get enough sleep.
Yes! I get that all the time- shock & questioning… but it works for us. 🙂
My kids used to go to bed @ 7 too but we changed it to 8 so we could hopefully sleep to closer to 7 instead of 6 (for my sanity mostly). It’s been rough to give up our extra time together at night but we also wanted some extra morning sleep. Now if I could get my youngest (3) to sleep when we put her down, which she does 40% of the time. Otherwise she wants hugs (and will cry for over an hour till she gets one) or she’ll empty her dresser all over her room. Thankfully her sister (5) sleeps through this, esp on school nights as she is most tired then. Still I’m a total believer of early bed times and I’ve also been questioned on this, by my parents actually.
So many people question us, too…. but if it works for your family… it works.
Ps- we went through the ’empty the dresser’ stage, too!