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Several years ago, when our child was still waking up at night (two years old at the time), I went into our Doctor’s office with this complaint… “My 2-year-old is still waking up at night .” Her advice changed our nights!
I was recently talking to a friend having the same issues, so I decided that if she needed some encouragement, others might, too.
I wanted to share this with you because our son was the BEST sleeper.
He came home from the hospital and slept through the night.
At one year of age, he continued to sleep all night long. He did this until he was about two years of age and then it started. He started waking up at night, and it was happening every night. He was waking up not feeling rested… even, might I say… “Crabby”?
Once we started watching his patterns more often, we realized that it was around the same time every night. He was going to bed around 7:00 every night (6:00 if he didn’t nap at all) and waking up in the morning around 7:00 or 8:00. If he goes to bed at 6:00, he wakes up between 6:50 & 7:30 – he always gets at least 12 hours, sometimes 13, which is about what he needs.
He started waking up at midnight, too. He would wake up and cry. We would go in, cover him up and he would go back to sleep. Sometimes he wanted a drink or different pajamas (not sure about this one, he just liked to change his pajamas – haha!)
It was impacting his mornings.
He wasn’t acting like himself because he was waking up and not getting his much-needed rest. After a few weeks of this, I was exhausted (We have three other kids, and one was a baby at the time.) He was exhausted, too.
This photo was taken around that time…
I wish I could say it was a short phase, but it continued. A few months later, I was even more exhausted. When his 3-year well-check came around, this was brought up, and we received great advice!
THIS ADVICE CHANGED HIS SLEEP PATTERNS, AND HE BEGAN TO SLEEP ALL NIGHT LONG…
What you need to do:
She told us that when WE go to bed, go into his room first, hug him, kiss him, lay with them, cover him up…. all things to rouse him just a bit. Wake him just enough to break him out of his sleep a little. What this does is that it breaks up his sleep cycle. He was waking when he was switching from his REM sleep. Do not wake them up! Just make them stir a bit.
Don’t lie down with them or talk to them. Just rub their back, tuck them in, kiss them on the cheek… just enough to make them switch sleep cycles. This brings them out of their sleep slightly, which is just enough to make them fall back into a deep sleep and hopefully sleep through the night. I studied child development in college, so this makes complete sense to me once she said it.
I wish I would have thought of it sooner! It worked PERFECTLY! He no longer woke up at night and he sleeps the full night. I was so excited the first night, and I have been happy ever since! So the key is just to ‘stir him a bit’ before you go to bed. That was it for us! I hope that it works for you, too!
For more sleep tips, you are welcome to sign up here for my free email series called “Helping My Child Become a BETTER Sleeper.”
I will also send you a sample sleep schedule.
Ps- just for a little “inspiration,”… our kids are now much older, and everyone sleeps through the night… most nights. 🙂 It gets better- I promise.
These are the faces of well-rested kids. 🙂
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My 5 year old has been waking up anytime between 1-3 am for well over a year now. She gets up and comes down to my bed, or starts playing. the biggest thing is getting into the cupboards. She will have a couple yogurts or get into treats she isn’t suppose to. I thought a heavier bedtime snack like some oatmeal would help but that didn’t change anything. My room is in the basement and carrying her up two flights of stairs while I am half asleep is not an easy task. Any ideas to get her to sleep through the night and stay in her bed? I don’t usually hear her up, it’s when I go to roll over and realize I can’t because she hogs the bed lol
haha!! For a 5 year old, I would go with a reward system, honestly. 🙂 Like one cotton ball per night & when she fills up her jar with cotton balls, she goes to the movies. ?
Thank you so much for sharing this advice!!!! It has worked for us all week!! Our little girl is 2 & her little brother will be making his arrival next month. I was worried about waking up extra times with her but now I will just go in and rouse her to say goodnight at a time when I am already up with him. She is so sweet, she never fully wakes up when I rouse her but she usually says I love you too 🙂 thanks again!!!
I’m so glad that it worked!! 🙂
PS- how extremely sweet that she says I love you!!! Be still my heart….
When my daughter started waking up in the middle of the night, we bought a Christmas tree timer and plugged a night light into it. We told her that if she woke up and the light was on, she needed to go back to sleep. If the light was off, she could get out of bed. We did have to talk about reasons she could get out of bed like go to the bathroom, sick, get a drink of water, but other than those kind of things, she needed to “roll over and go back to sleep.” This worked amazingly!! I know we set consequences from the beginning (Taking favorite toy away for a day, not let her do an activity she wanted to, etc.) but I don’t remember having any problems. I feel like she just didn’t understand when it was ok.
That is so clever!!
My son is 2 1/2 he was an amazing sleeper right from day 1 then about a month before our second was born who is now 4 months our oldest started waking up in the middle of the night and needing to be in mommy and daddy’s bed and refused to go back into his bed, now 5 months later he’s refusing to even sleep in his room even if I lay down with him he wants to be in our room and now he won’t stay in bed throws a tantrum unless I lay down with him till he falls asleep sometimes takes an hour or more he doesn’t want my husband he only wants mommy sometimes he sleeps all night and won’t wake up till and out 5 other nights he’s waking up almost every hour on the hour. He’s very routine always has been same thing every night since the day he was born bedtime 8 I’ve tried no naps earlier bed time… I’m almost at my white end… any advice?
Also he’s still nursing that I’ve cut him off from till 5 in the morning he wakes up in the middle of the night wants boo I won’t give him any till 5 or later… we up graded his bed to a big boy bed he picked out his own sheets we try and make his room exciting but he doesn’t want to sleep there I need him to sleep on his own sleep I’m his bed and sleep all night long!! Not sure what happened or what went wrong :s
I hear this so much – that two year olds wake up again. I would try my “keep your kids in their bed” post. Its a little more intense, but it worked for our kids.
This was great!! My 20 month old wakes up crying and upset MOST mornings…it is exhausting! We linked night terrors and random wake ups to his REM cycles, but have not tried this. Most the time her wakes up and screams 2-3 hours after bedtime and then again 1-2 hours before he gets up. Its usually less than a minutes and he can generally calm himself, but he wakes up SO grumpy and I am desperate for a happy baby! Will give it a shot 🙂
Oh good luck!! 🙂
it might be thread worms, my friends daughter was waking up like this and it turns out it was thread worms she took medication and the child went back to her normal sleeping habits.
best of luck!
I inadvertently started this with my daughter and after reading this I recognize it does help her sleep a lot better than trying to get her to relax completely. She has had sleep problems since birth with night terrors and now on meletonin. But on the nights when we get a little silly before bed she does sleep through the night. Thanks for the awesome insight
Oh good. I’m glad that it helps!
I’m desperate for my children to start sleeping through the night. My oldest was a great sleeper until we moved when she was 3, now 6 and up at least once a night, my 3year old up at least 2 times a night and my 19month old up 2 times a night. With #4 on the way we need to sort this out. They are in bed between 7-730pm and do seem to wake at the same time each night. Wish me luck!
Good luck!!
Thank you so much for sharing. My 2 year old has been waking up 2-3 times a night every night for a few months, and my husband and I are exhausted! I am trying this tonight!
Good luck!
so excited when I read this post because my son, who is 3, wakes up every night between 12 and 2. Some nights he is easy to get back to sleep and others not so much. So I have tried this….almost every night and it has made no difference. Still waking up. I move him around (if he is in a funky position in bed) kiss him, rub his head, whisper good night. Some times he has even talked to me in his sleep. Nothing. Still up. Am I doing it wrong? I was so hopeful this would help.
Hmm- I know this will sound strange, but do you think that he is waking because he has to use the bathroom? Our daughter (2 1/2 did this for a while, until I started waking her up to take her to the potty before bed. She now skips that wake-up time. She didn’t really understand it, because she wasn’t telling me that she has to go, but it has helped completely 🙂
How many nights do you wake them for?
Our 2 year wakes around 11.30pm/12am every night…
I’m going to give this a go tonight
Just about a week & then they just stop waking (well- Ethan did, anyway) . Good luck!!
My 6 yr old started waking in the middle of the night about a year ago. I am going to try this! Thank you.
Good luck!
Will this work on a 5 year old? My husbands daughter does this, and he’s convinced it’s cos she’s troubled with him and her mommy being divorced. However, they’ve been divorced since she was 2. So I’m not so sure.
I’m not sure? I’d give it a try. 🙂 The logic behind it makes me think that it would work on any age.
Have you heard if this helps children younger than two? My son is 14 months and goes to bed at 7 and has been waking at 5. His naps have been out of whack too…. I don’t know if it’s teething or what… But it does make me nervous to go in and “wake” him up…
I’m not sure- I haven’t tried it with our kids before they were two, but if you try it, let me know. 🙂
Our “little” one is 5.5 yrs now and always has slept on her own pretty well, has a regular 7.30pm bedtime and prefers her own bed, however since she’s been about 1 year old she does wake regularly at 2am with what we, the doctor and her paediatrician reckon are “leg cramps” no other physical evidence other than the pain that has her crying most times. This happens about 3 or 4 nights a week but as she’s been getting older it has been reducing and I sometimes get 7 nights (in a row) break in a month (over the past year mainly). I usually give pain relief, small drink of water, a heated teddy (by her legs) and I sit and rub her legs gently until she settles . I’ve tried a placebo pain relief but it does not work so I do think it’s genuine. We always do check on her before we go to bed and sometimes she does stir, so I’m now wondering if this coincides with the nights I get sleep??? Could it be possible that she’s waking from sleep pattern, not actually pain but then “feeling” an ache or two? It’s a puzzle, but I’ll try to really stir her each night before we go to bed and see if it makes a difference … But if you’ve any other suggestions I’m very ready to hear them!
IT could be. I’d try waking her again to see if it works.
PS- My husband said to tell you that when he was that age, his growing pains were so awful in his legs.
Hope that helps!
Thanks! Yes, I also remember awful “growing pains” (I’m over 6ft, 183cm) but cannot remember them waking me. Hubby looks blank when I mention growing pains so I guess he never suffered! By the way it worked last night, but I’ll keep an eye on it over a longer period to see what happens. You never miss sleep till it’s gone…
Me, either, but Mickey swears by it. I just never felt them at all (lucky me, I guess)?
I’m so glad that it worked last night!!! WOO-HOO!!! Keep me posted! 🙂
Taking a little magnesium daily will fix restless legs and leg cramps. It did for me. You can buy it in a powdered form and mix with your liquid of choice.
My daughter is 5mo now. I usually breasfeed her at 7pm and put her to bed at 8pm. She wakes up at night once or twice for breastfeed, while she closes her eyes. But she always wake up before 6am (sometimes even at 5am), which means she sleeps less than 10 hours at night. During the day, it’s not easy to take her to nap. She naps only for 30 minutes sometimes, twice. I’m worried because I don’t think she sleeps enough.
I am a worrier, too. I would check with your doctor, but I would think that if she seems happy and rested, she is probably fine. 🙂