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If you are asking yourself “Should I wait another year to send my child to Kindergarten?”, you have come to the right place (I hope!). I have had to make this decision about waiting to send our child to Kindergarten with all of our children… and I’ve always had the same answer.
I didn’t put my decision on academics alone (do they know their Kindergarten Sight Words? Do they know their letters?) and I didn’t put it on social-readiness, either. It was a tough choice and I looked at every aspect of each child.
According to ABC NEWS, “We find substantial variation in practices across schools, with schools serving larger proportions of white and high-income children having far higher rates of delayed entry,” noted the report, “The Extent, Patterns, and Implications of Kindergarten ‘Redshirting,'”
I didn’t take this decision lightly. It is a hard decision that only you can make. I was the youngest child in my class growing up (August birthday). My husband was the oldest in his class. We both did well, in the end, but I struggled in areas where he didn’t. Things came easier to him. Thankfully, I was able to flourish socially (I was very involved with clubs, friends, etc…) where I lacked physically (I liked sports, even if they didn’t like me! haha!) or academically (I was happy with a B, where my husband earned straight A’s).
However, once I entered college, I earned A’s because I was very interested in what I was learning, so I studied more and I enjoyed it. So… who knows if another year would have benefited me or not? I am happy with where I was, but I ultimately had to make that decision for our kids and not based on just my experience.
What age should I send my child to Kindergarten?
When your child is on the borderline of birthday to start date, it is a hard decision. We waited to send our oldest son because he was born just two days before the cut-off (and he was a month premature). We waited to send our second son, born in the spring. This choice was MUCH harder, but we know now that we did the right thing. We also waited to send our third and fourth child (both summer birthdays).
Our pediatrician told me that if we have a child born AFTER March, we should wait to send them (the cut-off here is September 1st). Maturity levels play a big part in this. I didn’t want him to get into trouble for giggling at the wrong times, etc…
I can tell you, as a teacher, the reputation that your child gets in Kindergarten will follow him throughout his school career, unfortunately. Teachers share advice & information, to help other teachers, but sometimes it has a negative effect. As a teacher, it was best to have a blind eye and deaf ear to the “advice” about students coming up the next year…
Example: “You have ____? Just be sure to put him in the front. He has some trouble listening.”
or “Oh! You have ____? He is so quiet! Don’t expect to get many answers out of him.”
Or “Did you get _____ this year? He is really smart and so polite.” Good or bad, their reputation follows them.
Today my very dear friend, Kristy M, is sharing her side of the story. She had her child enrolled in the TK (5-year-old transitional kindergarten, also called Pre-K) class at her preschool and wrote this to future parents. She and I share similar views on many topics and she is a wonderful resource for many subjects, including this one.
Here is what Kristy has shared…
“Dear Prospective TK Parent,
If this introduction got your attention, you have probably been thinking about if TK will be a good fit for your child.
Let me share my perspective with you…
WHO AM I?
I am a former Kindergarten teacher and currently work as a Developmental Play Therapist for North Carolina’s Early Intervention program.
I am also a parent of a TK graduate (class of 2012) and I plan on sending my rising 5-year-old to TK in the fall.
THE GIFT OF TIME
I have no regrets about giving my child the ‘gift of time’ and I’m happy to share her experience with you!
What is all the hype about the ‘gift of time’? This gift has been without a doubt a huge contributor to my child’s success in Kindergarten this year.
The “gift of time” allowed my child to:
Continue to learn through play-based activities. (Research proves that the best way for young children to learn is through play. However, most public schools have no time to implement play-based activities into their rigid academic schedules.)
Strengthen fine motor skills (Learning how to properly hold a pencil and write letters and words in proper form is a skill that is no longer taught, but expected in Kindergarten.)
Learn at her own pace without pressure or a timeline of learning objectives. (Yes, she did learn many NEW things beyond letters and numbers and was reading upon entering Kindergarten.)
Gain confidence in her knowledge and abilities. Her fear of failure subsided. An “I can do it!” attitude emerged.
Grow spiritually (Daily opportunities for prayer, biblically-based discussions and weekly chapel lessons with peers and teachers helped tremendously with this growth.)
Grow socially and emotionally. (She is an introvert by nature. She may always be an introvert. However, an extra year in an environment that was already familiar to her, gave my daughter another year of opportunities to develop positive interpersonal relationship skills with peers and adults.)
WILL THEY BE BORED?
The main concern I hear from other parents who are undecided about Transitional Kindergarten (TK) is: “I worry he/she will be bored in Kindergarten!”
My TK graduate is thriving in Kindergarten and IS NOT BORED! Why?
Teachers are encouraged and expected to differentiate instruction to meet the needs of the students.
She is part of a literacy enrichment group to further support and enhance her literacy skills.
She has become a leader in the class and enjoys helping others.
Her confidence has enabled her to take risks without fear of being wrong or not doing it the right way. She challenges herself and sets herself up for success!
Think about the whole child.
Is he/she ready: Physically? Socially? Emotionally? Intellectually? Can he/she take care of personal needs without adult intervention? If even one piece of the puzzle is missing, your child may benefit tremendously from TK.
Think beyond Kindergarten.
Do you want your child to always be one of the youngest in the class or would you prefer for him/her to be one of the oldest? Consider the middle school and high school years and all the developmental, social, emotional and academic challenges that occur during those tween and teen years. Think about sending your child off to college as he/she JUST turns 18…
Base your decision on more than just Kindergarten.
Think of years down the road: third grade, sixth grade, ninth grade, a freshman in college…
I know many parents who say, “I wish I would have sent my child to TK”, but I have yet to meet a parent who says “I wish I hadn’t done it.”
Personally, I am not in a hurry for my children to grow up. I honestly believe that by choosing TK, I gave my child an extra year of childhood. We embrace it together!
Are you still undecided?
I recommend reading these books:
I hope this was helpful,
~ Kristy”
TOOLS TO HELP YOU:
Kindergarten sight word list
When your child is looking at these words on a daily basis, they will learn them quickly. Repetition is the key to fluency (reading smoothly, without a lot of pauses), so practicing these words over and over will help to achieve that goal. Here is a FREE printable list of Kindergarten Sight Words (click here, and I will send you the list)
Or you can jump right in with this Kindergarten Sight Word Packet to help your child LEARN those words. This printable packet is easy to use, you can download it and print it over & over to help your child. The kids love it & they learn so much from the repetition of seeing the same words again & again. It’s a great way to help your child learn their sight words, which helps them to learn to read well.
BOOKS TO HELP YOU DECIDE IF YOUR CHILD IS READY FOR KINDERGARTEN:
Outliers: The Story of Success (Malcolm Gladwell)
Better Late Than Early (Raymond Moore)
Kindergarten: It Isn’t What It Used to Be (Susan K. Golant and Mitch Golant)
You are also welcome to join this one-on-one time challenge (30 days) for FREE.
MORE POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE:
What are your thoughts? There are pros and cons to both… where do you fall? (Remember to be kind because your comments are seen by other readers- this post is to help parents with this decision…)
photo credit: Phil Roeder via photopin cc
More posts you might like:
NON-ACADEMIC KINDERGARTEN SKILLS
As a man who was redshirted, I must say I hated it. A lot of parents say they redshirt to children to give them an academic advantage, but let me ask: How do they have an academic advantage over all their peers when they’re a year behind all their peers? How are they ahead if they’re in second grade when they’re supposed to be in third. This is why I would never redshirt my kids. I’d much rather they be doing okay in the grade they’re supposed to be in then be doing spectacularly being a grade behind. Doing better than kids a year younger than you is nothing to be proud of, and I want to be proud of my kids. Part of glory is doing things early, and if I redshirted my kids, they would be deprived of any academic glory, like I was. So don’t redshirt your kids. If anything, try to get them tested in early. Becoming valedictorian is really nothing to be proud of unless you were against kids your own age or older.
I think each child is SO different for this. I think that academics is the least of most parent’s worry when it comes to redshirting. My view was always on maturity, leadership, etc… I think that most kids are ready for K when they go, because if they aren’t, the teachers will prepare them. Our kids have always done very well with academics and are preforming years ahead of where they are, but as far as being leaders and having more confidence, maturity, etc… waiting to send them has been the right decision for us. To each their own… thanks for your input on it! I love to hear what others have to say about it. 🙂
Well, things are a little different where I live (Alberta, Canada). Most cutoffs here are March 1st of the next year. So I could send a 4 your old to kindergarten if they turn 5 before March 1st of the next year! In practice a fair number of people don’t send kids to kindergarten if they have January or February birthdays and a few school districts are adopting a December 31st cutoff – still a lot later than many school districts in the States seem to be with September 1 cutoffs.
Anyway, my oldest had a December birthday and my youngest a late November birthday and for both I chose to “red-shirt” (not that I’ve ever heard that term used around here) after some wonderful advice. Neither showed signs of major academic advance, and I wasn’t worried they’d be bored. I knew that in their cases they would do well with extra time before starting school. Still, even being pretty confident in my choices, I wondered if I should have pushed them ahead instead.
This year, my oldest is 13yo. He is one of the oldest in his grade. And I am now a million percent sure that we made the right choice to not rush him off to school when he was only 4. The tween/teen years are another whole ball of wax!!! I see some of his younger classmates struggling with maturity. Ok, even he still struggles, but it’s very easy to see the difference it makes in being 13 and facing some choices and being 12 and making those same choices. He likes being one of the older kids and he especially likes knowing he’ll get to drive a car before many of his friends lol. I highly recommend that anyone making this choice really give some thought to these teen years more than just the kindergarten year. Kids can manage pretty well in kindergarten even if they are younger, but the social choices and other things they face in middle/high school usually benefit from kids who are older and a little more mature.
Thank you for that comment! I love knowing that you have a 13 year old that has been through this!
Stupid question.. what is TK?
I have an August 8th child and it has just occurred to me that I’ll likely keep him at home until next year. Poor thing would be 4 years old in Kindergarten for a while. One more year with him at home is fine by me 😉
🙂 Aww- we have an August b-day too!
I have just published a book about Kindergarten Redshirting that covers a lot more items that parents need to be aware of. You can find it on Amazon.
I find this thread interesting as here in Ontario full-day kindergarten has been adopted in the last few years. Junior Kindergarten/J.K is for youngsters who turn 4 before Dec 31. This means that my 3 year old with an October birthday is slated to start full-day junior kindergarten this September. I struggled with my decision, but ultimately decided to pay to put her in a friendly, local montessori for just 2 days a week. I am under the impression that some people think I am coddling my child or am too attached, but all day in a formal school setting for a 3 year old seemed like far too much to me. I want her to still have time to play, to muck, and to just be a kid. I also want my time with her too. It all goes too quickly! I am also under the impression that the majority of parents in the province are thrilled about all day kindergarten, because it relieves the cost of daycare.
My 5 year old son was ready emotionally and socially to be at school. We’re in Australia and our school year starts end of Jan. Children have to be at school by 6 years of age in New South Wales. His birthday was 1 week into Feb when he turned 5. The teachers took one look at him and said he was ready to be at school but due to parents delaying the start of school with their sons (there were children turning 6 in February in his class) he is the youngest boy but the 3rd youngest child in his class. He was friends with the older boys at his preschool who all went off to Kindergarten. He was in a Montessori Preschool that had a vested interest in him staying back in their 5-6 class but failed to tell us it was going to be just him and another a 5 year old girl in his age group. He would have been left with 4 and 4 and a half year old of whom he would not have had the same quality of play and interaction, needless to say language and social role modelling. I feel we were caught in the middle with what to do with him and I don’t believe an extra year of delaying his start of school would have been a good idea. It makes me really upset to read blogs like this that put doubt and guilt into those parents who know their sons well. As a person with a background in allied health, he is hypermobile so handwriting will be an issue for him (it’s not developmental) and some indicators are there for reading difficulties. I can hold him back a multitude of years and that won’t change these issues. As for increasing confidence and resilience- my daughter has a friend in her year whose birthday is in Jan- she’s a whole year older than everyone in my daughter’s grade and the meekest, quietest, non-leader in the group. Holding her back did nothing for her socially nor academically, in fact I dare say she feels like a fish out of water because she finds most of her peer group immature. Low and behold she’s now hanging out with girls in the grade she should be in. I’m interested to see how these 6 year olds will cope when they realise they can legally drink and drive (18 years of age in Australia) in the year they should be studying for their HSC (High School Certificate). Delaying the start of school does not always equate to success at school or life for that matter and should not be an automatic decision regarding the schooling of boys. You’re not gifted and talented when you’re performing against peers younger than you nor does redshirting remedy genetic dispositions.
Before starting my son I requested a meeting with a kindergarden teacher the year before to go over the skills that he would need and to look at a schedule of what a typical day would look like. It was a complete eye opener how much they expect from them at 5 years old. I got accepted to observe a class in session. This is what made my final decision to hold my son for another year. You could easily tell the children who had been worked with or went to preschool. My son had attended preschool but it was easy to see more work was needed before he started. Mid-August birthday. Kindergarten today is COMPLETELY different than what it was 20 years a go.
Oh I know! It is a total change!
Hi Becky. I have twin girls who are in kindergarten. They turn 6 on May 21st. We are challenged with retaining vs. promoting. Their teacher is on the fence as well. Your article was inspiring and makes me more comfortable with retaining. Could you please offer tips on how and when I tell them? I’m usually very honest with them but attempting to explain why they can do the work but need another year for social and personal developement is challenging. Thanks.
I just told our 3rd son that I knew he needed another year of preschool because he was going to be able to go into Kindergarten VERY ready.
My son is in kindergarten this year. He is a sweet boy and very smart but he has missed 4 weeks of school with illnesses (he has food allergies and asthma). His kindergarten teacher is on the fence about whether he should go to 1st grade or be retained in kindergarten for another year. He is a bit immature and small for his age, so I think developmentally he may fit in better with children who are a little younger. He also has not learned all of his sight words and is just beginning to read.
This article is an answer to prayer as my husband and I have been praying about what do next year.
How should I tell him and when should I tell him that he will get to do kindergarten again? I don’t want him to feel like a failure….I want him to see that this is a good thing for him….a chance to make new friends, do the fun activities like Christmas parties, etc. that he missed the first time.
Oh I am so glad. My friend told her daughter that she was going to stay behind to be the “Kindergarten Expert.” She is in 2nd grade now & still talks about her year as the Kindergarten Expert. 😉
I’d like to provide a different perspective as well. My son has an April birthday, and I also considered holding him back a year because he was shy and had trouble initiating interactions with other kids. Ultimately we decided to send him to kindergarten on time (sept1 cutoff here), and so far (he is on the last month of school), I am really glad we did NOT hold him back. He is excelling academically, and while schools are supposed to accommodate students who are performing above grade level, the reality is they have to focus more on the students who are struggling. So there is very little that they are doing for my son (i’m not complaining, but simply want to explain that if he’d been held back he really would be very bored!). Also I am able to help in the classroom frequently, and I see that my son is much more mature than many of the other kids, and I question how he’d be able to relate to classmates if he were another year older. socially, he’s doing great now as well! I know it’s still early, but it seems wrong for Drs to make a blanket statement that kids born after March should be held back! Again it depends on the kid, and it may be worse depending on your child.
My second son has a late June birthday, and he is not the “driven, responsible, first-born” 😉 so we will see what is best for him next year.
haha!!
Ps- great points.
I also sent my late June Birthday son who is a first born but not the typical motivated. He was the only one for us 3 months from the cut off. If I had held him back he might not be as interested in school. I am glad we didn’t. He’s finished with high honors and all AP classes and is attending Vanderbuilt University with everything paid for but room and board. I don’t know, but make sure you know for sure you want to hold them back. If you have one thought that they can go to school, I would send them.
Hi! I’m a current high-school senior (graduating june 2017) and i always find these articles interesting because my birthday is august 22nd, which is 10 days before our districts cutoff. I started when i was supposed to, and I’ve done just fine! Out of a class of 930, I’m 94th in the grade, and am in all college (AP/Dual-Credit) core classes. I’m an introverted person by nature, but i’ve never felt like i was socially behind. I’m an officer of multiple clubs and i currently teach preschool. I’ve never felt my age (i’m one of the 20 youngest in my grade) held me back, even though i couldn’t drive at the same time as everyone else, and i won’t be able to vote in november. I know that a lot of people say that having a later birthday works against your child, but i’ve really never had a problem being younger than everyone. i agree that each child is different, and can see the benefits to holding some kids. Even though i am not a parent and am obviously not qualified to make these kinds of decisions, I just wanted to give the perspective of a current late birthday student and let people know that it is possible to start your children with later birthdays on time and have them succeed.
🙂 Thanks for sharing. 🙂
“Redshirting” would be unnecessary if everyone put their child in school when they are “supposed” to. That would take care of the problem of having such a large difference in age, skills, etc Give all kids a level playing field. My kids are going to school with other kids who will be 19 when they graduate. 19!!
Exactly!! It is particularly disturbing to me that boys are typically the ones held back, which means they are a whole year older than most of the girls in their class, potentially creating a harmful power dynamic as they move into high school years and beyond. I teach college and see so many dominant men in the classroom and timid (but often very smart!) girls. And I say this as the mother of two boys.
agree!!!
Interesting but not a very balanced viewpoint. Research shows that children do just as well in school regardless of their birthdate over time. It seems that most of the decision making is done to meet the parent need or to try and improve sports opportunities. It is interesting that the article states that this happens at much higher rates in high income, white schools. Competition to be achieve is high in those school. Lots of pressure to excel from the parents and the school. Maybe they wouldn’t need that year if they were more relaxed acceptance of who children are.
So my son was in an early intervention program because he had delayed speech so they sent him to kinder this year. He turned 5 Sept 15th. So he was 4 when he started this year. He was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis last month and missed a lot of morning and still is until he can get into full remission. I met with his teacher today about doing another year of kinder and she disagrees. He is doing good his scores are great but the cut off is Sept 30 which means he just made it and he was born 7 weeks early. She said she doesn’t think holding him another year is possible because hes done so good. I don’t see it this way he has struggled with sight words and writing. I’m at a lost. I thought she would agree. I don’t know what to do to keep him another year.
I think this is a case by case decision for each child, and that not one rule could apply to each child. I sent one child to school who was 5 weeks early and she has done so well. And I sent another child who was a month from the cut off to school because the preschool teacher mentioned that if I didn’t he would be bored. He is doing math at a 6th grade level as a 2nd grader, why should I have penalized him by his birthdate. Both children are doing so well and have tons of friends, and have all A’s. I don’t think your reasoning above is why everyone should redshirt. In addition, 60 minutes ran an episode stating that redshirting was NOT good for everyone in the long run. I based our decisions on my husband. He was held that year back because he kicked the kindergarten teacher. He graduated at the top of his class and NEVER had to work for anything. I’m sorry, but kids should have to work a little otherwise they will never learn to achieve anything. I worry your reasonings here is so that you feel better about your decision. Remember you have to do what works for you, not what works for someone else.