If you are asking yourself “Should I wait another year to send my child to Kindergarten?”, you have come to the right place (I hope!). I have had to make this decision about waiting to send our child to Kindergarten with all of our children… and I’ve always had the same answer.
I didn’t put my decision on academics alone (do they know their Kindergarten Sight Words? Do they know their letters?) and I didn’t put it on social-readiness, either. It was a tough choice and I looked at every aspect of each child.
According to ABC NEWS, “We find substantial variation in practices across schools, with schools serving larger proportions of white and high-income children having far higher rates of delayed entry,” noted the report, “The Extent, Patterns, and Implications of Kindergarten ‘Redshirting,'”
I didn’t take this decision lightly. It is a hard decision that only you can make. I was the youngest child in my class growing up (August birthday). My husband was the oldest in his class. We both did well, in the end, but I struggled in areas where he didn’t. Things came easier to him. Thankfully, I was able to flourish socially (I was very involved with clubs, friends, etc…) where I lacked physically (I liked sports, even if they didn’t like me! haha!) or academically (I was happy with a B, where my husband earned straight A’s).
However, once I entered college, I earned A’s because I was very interested in what I was learning, so I studied more and I enjoyed it. So… who knows if another year would have benefited me or not? I am happy with where I was, but I ultimately had to make that decision for our kids and not based on just my experience.
What age should I send my child to Kindergarten?
When your child is on the borderline of birthday to start date, it is a hard decision. We waited to send our oldest son because he was born just two days before the cut-off (and he was a month premature). We waited to send our second son, born in the spring. This choice was MUCH harder, but we know now that we did the right thing. We also waited to send our third and fourth child (both summer birthdays).
Our pediatrician told me that if we have a child born AFTER March, we should wait to send them (the cut-off here is September 1st). Maturity levels play a big part in this. I didn’t want him to get into trouble for giggling at the wrong times, etc…
I can tell you, as a teacher, the reputation that your child gets in Kindergarten will follow him throughout his school career, unfortunately. Teachers share advice & information, to help other teachers, but sometimes it has a negative effect. As a teacher, it was best to have a blind eye and deaf ear to the “advice” about students coming up the next year…
Example: “You have ____? Just be sure to put him in the front. He has some trouble listening.”
or “Oh! You have ____? He is so quiet! Don’t expect to get many answers out of him.”
Or “Did you get _____ this year? He is really smart and so polite.” Good or bad, their reputation follows them.
Today my very dear friend, Kristy M, is sharing her side of the story. She had her child enrolled in the TK (5-year-old transitional kindergarten, also called Pre-K) class at her preschool and wrote this to future parents. She and I share similar views on many topics and she is a wonderful resource for many subjects, including this one.
Here is what Kristy has shared…
“Dear Prospective TK Parent,
If this introduction got your attention, you have probably been thinking about if TK will be a good fit for your child.
Let me share my perspective with you…
WHO AM I?
I am a former Kindergarten teacher and currently work as a Developmental Play Therapist for North Carolina’s Early Intervention program.
I am also a parent of a TK graduate (class of 2012) and I plan on sending my rising 5-year-old to TK in the fall.
THE GIFT OF TIME
I have no regrets about giving my child the ‘gift of time’ and I’m happy to share her experience with you!
What is all the hype about the ‘gift of time’? This gift has been without a doubt a huge contributor to my child’s success in Kindergarten this year.
The “gift of time” allowed my child to:
Continue to learn through play-based activities. (Research proves that the best way for young children to learn is through play. However, most public schools have no time to implement play-based activities into their rigid academic schedules.)
Strengthen fine motor skills (Learning how to properly hold a pencil and write letters and words in proper form is a skill that is no longer taught, but expected in Kindergarten.)
Learn at her own pace without pressure or a timeline of learning objectives. (Yes, she did learn many NEW things beyond letters and numbers and was reading upon entering Kindergarten.)
Gain confidence in her knowledge and abilities. Her fear of failure subsided. An “I can do it!” attitude emerged.
Grow spiritually (Daily opportunities for prayer, biblically-based discussions and weekly chapel lessons with peers and teachers helped tremendously with this growth.)
Grow socially and emotionally. (She is an introvert by nature. She may always be an introvert. However, an extra year in an environment that was already familiar to her, gave my daughter another year of opportunities to develop positive interpersonal relationship skills with peers and adults.)
WILL THEY BE BORED?
The main concern I hear from other parents who are undecided about Transitional Kindergarten (TK) is: “I worry he/she will be bored in Kindergarten!”
My TK graduate is thriving in Kindergarten and IS NOT BORED! Why?
Teachers are encouraged and expected to differentiate instruction to meet the needs of the students.
She is part of a literacy enrichment group to further support and enhance her literacy skills.
She has become a leader in the class and enjoys helping others.
Her confidence has enabled her to take risks without fear of being wrong or not doing it the right way. She challenges herself and sets herself up for success!
Think about the whole child.
Is he/she ready: Physically? Socially? Emotionally? Intellectually? Can he/she take care of personal needs without adult intervention? If even one piece of the puzzle is missing, your child may benefit tremendously from TK.
Think beyond Kindergarten.
Do you want your child to always be one of the youngest in the class or would you prefer for him/her to be one of the oldest? Consider the middle school and high school years and all the developmental, social, emotional and academic challenges that occur during those tween and teen years. Think about sending your child off to college as he/she JUST turns 18…
Base your decision on more than just Kindergarten.
Think of years down the road: third grade, sixth grade, ninth grade, a freshman in college…
I know many parents who say, “I wish I would have sent my child to TK”, but I have yet to meet a parent who says “I wish I hadn’t done it.”
Personally, I am not in a hurry for my children to grow up. I honestly believe that by choosing TK, I gave my child an extra year of childhood. We embrace it together!
Are you still undecided?
I recommend reading these books:
I hope this was helpful,
~ Kristy”
TOOLS TO HELP YOU:
Kindergarten sight word list
When your child is looking at these words on a daily basis, they will learn them quickly. Repetition is the key to fluency (reading smoothly, without a lot of pauses), so practicing these words over and over will help to achieve that goal. Here is a FREE printable list of Kindergarten Sight Words (click here, and I will send you the list)
Or you can jump right in with this Kindergarten Sight Word Packet to help your child LEARN those words. This printable packet is easy to use, you can download it and print it over & over to help your child. The kids love it & they learn so much from the repetition of seeing the same words again & again. It’s a great way to help your child learn their sight words, which helps them to learn to read well.
BOOKS TO HELP YOU DECIDE IF YOUR CHILD IS READY FOR KINDERGARTEN:
Outliers: The Story of Success (Malcolm Gladwell)
Better Late Than Early (Raymond Moore)
Kindergarten: It Isn’t What It Used to Be (Susan K. Golant and Mitch Golant)
You are also welcome to join this one-on-one time challenge (30 days) for FREE.
MORE POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE:
What are your thoughts? There are pros and cons to both… where do you fall? (Remember to be kind because your comments are seen by other readers- this post is to help parents with this decision…)
photo credit: Phil Roeder via photopin cc
More posts you might like:
NON-ACADEMIC KINDERGARTEN SKILLS
Kristy McKito says
If are considering TK for your child and live in the Lake Norman area, be sure to check out Sonshine Preschool at Mt. Zion United Methodist Church in Cornelius. Registration for the fall is happening NOW and openings fill up fast!
Audra @ Renewed Projects says
I look forward to reading some of those books. We’ll be looking for a TK for our son who is a late September baby. He’ll need something but I know he won’t be ready for Kinder yet. Thanks for posting!
Your Modern Family says
I read Outliers- our son’s endocrinologist actually told us to read it b/c we are debating holding him (April b-day) and he said that you should hold any child that you can hold & the proof is in the statistics, then he led me to this book. 🙂 I still have not made a decision yet, but I am very happy that we held our August b-day son last year. He was ready to go academically, but he was shy. It was a wonderful decision.
Jenni @ Just Stuff says
Our son also has a late August birthday, and although we didn’t do anything very formal, we simply waited a year to start kindergarten. Yes, he was reading when he finally started school, but he was not the only one and the teacher accommodated these students. He is very confident in school and has emerged as a leader, whereas, I am not sure he would’ve otherwise. Also, he is in fifth grade this year, and I think Middle School would’ve been pretty overwhelming at this point. I have always been grateful for the extra year. No regrets.
Your Modern Family says
Jenni- that is EXACTLY our story. 🙂 I feel the same way!
Monica says
Hi 🙂 here in Europe things work a bit differently. My daughter is a July baby and will turn 3 this summer. She is meant to be starting “pre-school” this September. This is like a government sponsored nursery for about 3 hours a day and is not compulsory. Kids then would start their proper schooling the following year. My daughter is bright and sociable but a part of me feels uncertain about starting her in formal schooling when she has just turned 3. It is virtually unheard of for anyone here in my country to turn down the prechool but I am having serious doubts. Those I have voiced this to think I am being over-protective and that it would not be good for her if I keep her home one more year. At the end of the day I want to do what is best for my daughter. I have sent the application forms in and will have to make a decision in the next few months. It is hard sometimes to go against what is considered the “norm”, especially when there are so many strong opinions on pre-school being good for them for social skills and to not give her an dis-advantage when she starts proper school at 4 years old when all her class friends would have all gone to preschool. I am unsure if she is ready this year. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I think that preschool would be great. 🙂 Plus, its only 3 hours a day, so she will enjoy it and she will learn a lot from it. 🙂 (but I’m always the same way (thinking) as you!!)
Angie says
I agree so much! My sons both had birthdays that allowed them to be pretty much the eldest in their classes, and it helped in every aspect of their lives. I started school early, couldn’t drive when everyone else did, and was a college student who couldn’t vote. Although I excelled academically and socially, always being the youngest gave me a chip on my shoulder it took me a long time to get rid of.
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully says
Great post 🙂 Thanks for sharing at Thriving Thursday 🙂 I’m homeschooling and started doing Kindergarten work w/ my son this year. He turned 5 in the middle of August. However, we are now having him evaluated for Aspergers (if he has it, it will be mild, but there are definitely some issues), ADD, Dyslexia, etc. to try and see what is at the root of his problems.
When all is said and done, I wish I hadn’t given in to pressure to start him this year and had waited until next year. As it is, I have backed off, and we’re just calling this year “pre-school” now and will probably repeat/start over w/ Kindergarten again next year.
Also, for sports and other issues, I think it would be best for boys especially to be on the “older” side rather than the “younger” side.
Your Modern Family says
I know- it is a really tough decision! Let me know what the diagnosis is after you have him evaluated. I am a play therapist (one day a week). I have a board on my pinterest page labeled “Play Therapy” if you want to check it out- it might have some helpful tools for you. Good luck. I know that is hard what you are going through (read my post under KIDS: Teaching them to just look up).
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully says
I do have to say though, that my bday is in October and I missed our county’s cut off by 20 days. So, I was the oldest person in my class, except for a few kids who failed/were held back. Just like the above person had problems being the youngest, I always had problems being the oldest, but I think for boys especially being the oldest would be better than being the youngest. My son is playing basketball on a kindergarten team where most of the boys are a year older than him and you can definitely tell a big difference in that one year.
Sugar Aunts says
We held my oldest (with a summer birthday) back a year and it was such a great decision for HER needs! Thank you for this information. Great Advice !! I would love to invite you to link up at our Share It Saturday linky party. We have lots of creative ideas submitted each week and you would fit right in! http://www.sugaraunts.com/2013/02/share-it-saturday-7-and-our-week-in.html
We also are inviting all contributors to join us on our Share It Saturday Group Pinterest page as a collaborator. It is a great way to have your posts seen by new viewers! The link for the Pinterest page is on our post. Hope to see you there!
Colleen at Sugar Aunts
Your Modern Family says
Thanks- I’ll be there. 🙂
Theres Just One Mommy says
What perfect timing — I so needed to read this post today.
My youngest will be 5 in May, but emotionally he is so not ready for school. Definitely considering giving him that extra time.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Our son has an April b-day & we are waiting (he is in TK now). Our nephew has a May b-day and they are waiting also. Two of our son’s friends (both with spring b-days) waited and they will be going together, as well. I was in your boat last year. 🙂 This year has made a HUGE difference for him. I feel like he is ready now, where last year I would have been nervous every day. I am ready for him to go next year- and I am excited for him! 🙂
Good luck with your decision. Its a tough one! You should read the book Outliers: The Story of Success (Malcolm Gladwell). I got our copy at the library. It really sheds light on the benefit of holding a spring or summer b-day child.
Georgia says
Oh decisions.. This is so overwhelming! :/ Thanks for the info. and especially the books. I look forward to looking into them.
Georgia
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
It is a really hard decision, but we have held our first two kids and we plan on holding our second two. Tomorrow’s post will hopefully shed some light on that for you, too. Read Outliers. Our son’s Dr. told us to read that one. Our library had copies. It was really helpful! 🙂 Good luck!!
Anonymous says
I’m doing this anonymously, because if I sign my name, it will look like I’m bragging, when in reality I’m just trying to provide basic information for those in a similar situation.
I’d like to provide the opposite perspective: I was born ON the cutoff, – and was the youngest in my class. I have a fairly normal intelligence – nothing spectacular – but good enough. It was GREAT for me. Then I skipped a grade – which was even better. I finished high school at 16, and college at 20. I could not have borne to sit in high school until I was 18 years old. Personality & temperament-wise, it would have crushed me, and I may well have dropped out.
My elder sister had an IQ well above Genius, but being born after the cutoff, was almost the oldest in her class. It was catastrophic for her academically & socially both. She was bored silly, and never thrived in school. The social issues she had were a part of her personality, and she never did “outgrow” them.
My daughter is in homeschool Kindergarten now. She is thriving, even though she “not old enough” to be in kindergarten. She is reading on a 4th grade level, is a couple of years ahead in math, and is doing great in all her subjects. She’s doing great socially, too. BUT, the pubic kindergarten might not have let her in this year because she is not “self sufficient in personal care” and cannot “follow three instructions without being reminded.”
To me, the purpose of school is academic – and if your child is ready academically, you do a GREAT disservice by holding them back. I find myself being almost angry when people say “no one has ever regretted waiting another year” – it’s just not true.
I don’t want to be argumentative, but I do want to provide the other view.
Christina says
My daughter is also very bright. Her birthday is in June, so we homeschooled her starting K when she was 5. She is now 6 and done with her year of Kindergarten. She reads well on a 2nd grade level and can do first grade level math, although she is a little weak with computation skills. I’m glad we did not hold her back. I think in her case, it would have been harmful than beneficial. 🙂
I was intelligent enough to go into 2nd grade when I started private school (so I would have skipped a grade) but I’m really glad my parents put me in 1st grade instead, only because I was shy and uncomfortable with bigger kids. However, I still got bored in school quite easily. 🙂
Nancy says
We waited on public kindergarten for both of our kids, who were within days of the cutoff. They are now 20 and 23, and I never regretted the decision. They were both already reading at 5, but our local schools gave them plenty of challenging work. It came down to this: if they were bored academically, I could compensate. If they were challenged socially, there was little I could do.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Great comment- thanks for sharing. It is always nice to hear from someone who has been there, done that!
Holly says
We held our daughter back as she was just on the cut off line with a September birthday. She was premature and was not ready in our eyes to start kindergarten. She will be in first grade this fall and is on and above the levels she should be. She finished with speech therapy half way through her kindergarten year. We made the decision to hold our youngest back last fall. He knew things like numbers , colors, the alphabet, and some sight words. I too couldn’t imagine putting him on a bus and not worrying daily that he would get to where he should be. He too was a preemie and just was not socially ready yet. By keeping him where he was he got tons of daily one on one time with two teachers and a class max of 12. By December we saw a huge difference in him. He had more focus, could sit still in large groups quietly. He is very excited to start k this year and I feel so much better about it then I did when we were thinking about it last year. It is a hard decision to make but I do not regret making them.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
It is such a hard decision, I totally agree!!! I’m so glad that you have a peace about it. I see so many positive things coming out of it.
islandista says
A really fascinating discussion and halfway through the post, I was saying ‘wow this sounds like the point Gladwell made in Outliers’ – only to see several other commenters cite it.
I think it is really dependent on the child. I’m an August-born, as is my husband but we always excelled in school and never really felt the difference.
However I think for most children it can make a difference. I’m from Barbados and the secondary school system here (equivalent to middle and high school, going from age 11-16 or 18) is streamed based on academic ability which is assessed by national testing.
The high school I attended is the school for the very top performers (about 120 kids enter each year out of around 4000) with entry grades between 100-88%.
When I read Outliers, it occurred to me that 1) I knew a LOT of September and October born people from school and 2) how few August borns there were. In my whole year, there were 5 of us.
When I checked our roll call books (annual booklets which listed every kid in the school and their age at Sept 1), it confirmed it. TONS of September, October and November born kids in every year and the numbers dwindled as you got further on in the school year.
So clearly there is a major advantage to being among the eldest in your school year.
That said, our daughter is born in June but we let her start preschool with the children in her ‘school year’ because she’s advanced for her age and thus far, she’s been doing well.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Yes- I loved that book, Outliers.
Addi says
This could not have come at a better time! My oldest son will be starting Kindergarten this coming Fall. He has a March birthday, but most of the children in his class are a year older than him.My husband and I have been debating for awhile now what we should do. He is definitely ahead for his age and much more mature {at least thats what his teacher tells us}. I always worried if I held him back then I would have to hold me second child back as well otherwise they would be in the same grade. The cut-off is Sept 1. here too but it seems like more and more people are starting to hold their children back {esp. boys} another year. It has become the norm in our school district. As much as I would LOVE that extra year with him I think he may be ready to start Kindergarten…? I would hate to see him behind everyone else as he gets older though.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Our first son is very mature for his age, as well. The biggest thing for him was that he was more of a follower where now he is definitely a leader. (he is in 2nd grade now).
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
ps- Beau (our 2nd) has an April b-day and he is doing GREAT in K this year (we held him, too).
Its such a hard decision!
Addi says
It is really tough! We have a conference with his teacher in a few weeks, so I am going to see what she has to say and hopefully that will give us more clarity!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
It will help. 🙂 Good luck!! Its so hard, Addi!
M says
We are deciding what to do for our preschooler. My experience in school was different than many other commenters. You say older children won’t be bored but they can be. I was one of the oldest in my class, October birthday and the state moved the cutoff to September 1st that year. I wish someone told me people skip grades when I was in elementary school. I was doing multiplication in 1st grade but there were too many students for the teacher to help me. I sat to the side while she helped others with subtraction. Similar stories all through school. I would routinely fall asleep in high school calculus, rarely got a B. I didn’t disrupt class, so no one cared that I wasn’t challenged.
My sister with an August birthday wasn’t held back and seemed to fit better in her grade. She didn’t graduate as high in her high school class, but went on to law school and is doing great. We are 3 years apart in age but were 2 years apart in school.
I just wanted to share the other perspective, that giving a child more time isn’t always a gift.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thanks for the perspective. I think it is different for each child. Our son is very smart – performing years ahead of his peers (academically), but his leadership skills have really grown this year and for him, that is what we needed (he was very timid, etc…) I think it really does depend on the child. 🙂 Thanks again!
Even Permutation says
As a man who was redshirted, I must say I hated it. A lot of parents say they redshirt to children to give them an academic advantage, but let me ask: How do they have an academic advantage over all their peers when they’re a year behind all their peers? How are they ahead if they’re in second grade when they’re supposed to be in third. This is why I would never redshirt my kids. I’d much rather they be doing okay in the grade they’re supposed to be in then be doing spectacularly being a grade behind. Doing better than kids a year younger than you is nothing to be proud of, and I want to be proud of my kids. Part of glory is doing things early, and if I redshirted my kids, they would be deprived of any academic glory, like I was. So don’t redshirt your kids. If anything, try to get them tested in early. Becoming valedictorian is really nothing to be proud of unless you were against kids your own age or older.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I think each child is SO different for this. I think that academics is the least of most parent’s worry when it comes to redshirting. My view was always on maturity, leadership, etc… I think that most kids are ready for K when they go, because if they aren’t, the teachers will prepare them. Our kids have always done very well with academics and are preforming years ahead of where they are, but as far as being leaders and having more confidence, maturity, etc… waiting to send them has been the right decision for us. To each their own… thanks for your input on it! I love to hear what others have to say about it. 🙂
Laurie says
Well, things are a little different where I live (Alberta, Canada). Most cutoffs here are March 1st of the next year. So I could send a 4 your old to kindergarten if they turn 5 before March 1st of the next year! In practice a fair number of people don’t send kids to kindergarten if they have January or February birthdays and a few school districts are adopting a December 31st cutoff – still a lot later than many school districts in the States seem to be with September 1 cutoffs.
Anyway, my oldest had a December birthday and my youngest a late November birthday and for both I chose to “red-shirt” (not that I’ve ever heard that term used around here) after some wonderful advice. Neither showed signs of major academic advance, and I wasn’t worried they’d be bored. I knew that in their cases they would do well with extra time before starting school. Still, even being pretty confident in my choices, I wondered if I should have pushed them ahead instead.
This year, my oldest is 13yo. He is one of the oldest in his grade. And I am now a million percent sure that we made the right choice to not rush him off to school when he was only 4. The tween/teen years are another whole ball of wax!!! I see some of his younger classmates struggling with maturity. Ok, even he still struggles, but it’s very easy to see the difference it makes in being 13 and facing some choices and being 12 and making those same choices. He likes being one of the older kids and he especially likes knowing he’ll get to drive a car before many of his friends lol. I highly recommend that anyone making this choice really give some thought to these teen years more than just the kindergarten year. Kids can manage pretty well in kindergarten even if they are younger, but the social choices and other things they face in middle/high school usually benefit from kids who are older and a little more mature.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you for that comment! I love knowing that you have a 13 year old that has been through this!
Rachel @ A Mother Far from Home says
Stupid question.. what is TK?
I have an August 8th child and it has just occurred to me that I’ll likely keep him at home until next year. Poor thing would be 4 years old in Kindergarten for a while. One more year with him at home is fine by me 😉
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Aww- we have an August b-day too!
Kelli Dougan says
I have just published a book about Kindergarten Redshirting that covers a lot more items that parents need to be aware of. You can find it on Amazon.
LT says
I find this thread interesting as here in Ontario full-day kindergarten has been adopted in the last few years. Junior Kindergarten/J.K is for youngsters who turn 4 before Dec 31. This means that my 3 year old with an October birthday is slated to start full-day junior kindergarten this September. I struggled with my decision, but ultimately decided to pay to put her in a friendly, local montessori for just 2 days a week. I am under the impression that some people think I am coddling my child or am too attached, but all day in a formal school setting for a 3 year old seemed like far too much to me. I want her to still have time to play, to muck, and to just be a kid. I also want my time with her too. It all goes too quickly! I am also under the impression that the majority of parents in the province are thrilled about all day kindergarten, because it relieves the cost of daycare.
Michele says
My 5 year old son was ready emotionally and socially to be at school. We’re in Australia and our school year starts end of Jan. Children have to be at school by 6 years of age in New South Wales. His birthday was 1 week into Feb when he turned 5. The teachers took one look at him and said he was ready to be at school but due to parents delaying the start of school with their sons (there were children turning 6 in February in his class) he is the youngest boy but the 3rd youngest child in his class. He was friends with the older boys at his preschool who all went off to Kindergarten. He was in a Montessori Preschool that had a vested interest in him staying back in their 5-6 class but failed to tell us it was going to be just him and another a 5 year old girl in his age group. He would have been left with 4 and 4 and a half year old of whom he would not have had the same quality of play and interaction, needless to say language and social role modelling. I feel we were caught in the middle with what to do with him and I don’t believe an extra year of delaying his start of school would have been a good idea. It makes me really upset to read blogs like this that put doubt and guilt into those parents who know their sons well. As a person with a background in allied health, he is hypermobile so handwriting will be an issue for him (it’s not developmental) and some indicators are there for reading difficulties. I can hold him back a multitude of years and that won’t change these issues. As for increasing confidence and resilience- my daughter has a friend in her year whose birthday is in Jan- she’s a whole year older than everyone in my daughter’s grade and the meekest, quietest, non-leader in the group. Holding her back did nothing for her socially nor academically, in fact I dare say she feels like a fish out of water because she finds most of her peer group immature. Low and behold she’s now hanging out with girls in the grade she should be in. I’m interested to see how these 6 year olds will cope when they realise they can legally drink and drive (18 years of age in Australia) in the year they should be studying for their HSC (High School Certificate). Delaying the start of school does not always equate to success at school or life for that matter and should not be an automatic decision regarding the schooling of boys. You’re not gifted and talented when you’re performing against peers younger than you nor does redshirting remedy genetic dispositions.
Jennifer says
Before starting my son I requested a meeting with a kindergarden teacher the year before to go over the skills that he would need and to look at a schedule of what a typical day would look like. It was a complete eye opener how much they expect from them at 5 years old. I got accepted to observe a class in session. This is what made my final decision to hold my son for another year. You could easily tell the children who had been worked with or went to preschool. My son had attended preschool but it was easy to see more work was needed before he started. Mid-August birthday. Kindergarten today is COMPLETELY different than what it was 20 years a go.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh I know! It is a total change!
Deana Bibb says
Hi Becky. I have twin girls who are in kindergarten. They turn 6 on May 21st. We are challenged with retaining vs. promoting. Their teacher is on the fence as well. Your article was inspiring and makes me more comfortable with retaining. Could you please offer tips on how and when I tell them? I’m usually very honest with them but attempting to explain why they can do the work but need another year for social and personal developement is challenging. Thanks.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I just told our 3rd son that I knew he needed another year of preschool because he was going to be able to go into Kindergarten VERY ready.
Leslie says
My son is in kindergarten this year. He is a sweet boy and very smart but he has missed 4 weeks of school with illnesses (he has food allergies and asthma). His kindergarten teacher is on the fence about whether he should go to 1st grade or be retained in kindergarten for another year. He is a bit immature and small for his age, so I think developmentally he may fit in better with children who are a little younger. He also has not learned all of his sight words and is just beginning to read.
This article is an answer to prayer as my husband and I have been praying about what do next year.
How should I tell him and when should I tell him that he will get to do kindergarten again? I don’t want him to feel like a failure….I want him to see that this is a good thing for him….a chance to make new friends, do the fun activities like Christmas parties, etc. that he missed the first time.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh I am so glad. My friend told her daughter that she was going to stay behind to be the “Kindergarten Expert.” She is in 2nd grade now & still talks about her year as the Kindergarten Expert. 😉
Stefanie says
I’d like to provide a different perspective as well. My son has an April birthday, and I also considered holding him back a year because he was shy and had trouble initiating interactions with other kids. Ultimately we decided to send him to kindergarten on time (sept1 cutoff here), and so far (he is on the last month of school), I am really glad we did NOT hold him back. He is excelling academically, and while schools are supposed to accommodate students who are performing above grade level, the reality is they have to focus more on the students who are struggling. So there is very little that they are doing for my son (i’m not complaining, but simply want to explain that if he’d been held back he really would be very bored!). Also I am able to help in the classroom frequently, and I see that my son is much more mature than many of the other kids, and I question how he’d be able to relate to classmates if he were another year older. socially, he’s doing great now as well! I know it’s still early, but it seems wrong for Drs to make a blanket statement that kids born after March should be held back! Again it depends on the kid, and it may be worse depending on your child.
My second son has a late June birthday, and he is not the “driven, responsible, first-born” 😉 so we will see what is best for him next year.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
haha!!
Ps- great points.
Jeanine says
I also sent my late June Birthday son who is a first born but not the typical motivated. He was the only one for us 3 months from the cut off. If I had held him back he might not be as interested in school. I am glad we didn’t. He’s finished with high honors and all AP classes and is attending Vanderbuilt University with everything paid for but room and board. I don’t know, but make sure you know for sure you want to hold them back. If you have one thought that they can go to school, I would send them.
S says
Hi! I’m a current high-school senior (graduating june 2017) and i always find these articles interesting because my birthday is august 22nd, which is 10 days before our districts cutoff. I started when i was supposed to, and I’ve done just fine! Out of a class of 930, I’m 94th in the grade, and am in all college (AP/Dual-Credit) core classes. I’m an introverted person by nature, but i’ve never felt like i was socially behind. I’m an officer of multiple clubs and i currently teach preschool. I’ve never felt my age (i’m one of the 20 youngest in my grade) held me back, even though i couldn’t drive at the same time as everyone else, and i won’t be able to vote in november. I know that a lot of people say that having a later birthday works against your child, but i’ve really never had a problem being younger than everyone. i agree that each child is different, and can see the benefits to holding some kids. Even though i am not a parent and am obviously not qualified to make these kinds of decisions, I just wanted to give the perspective of a current late birthday student and let people know that it is possible to start your children with later birthdays on time and have them succeed.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Michele Morgan says
“Redshirting” would be unnecessary if everyone put their child in school when they are “supposed” to. That would take care of the problem of having such a large difference in age, skills, etc Give all kids a level playing field. My kids are going to school with other kids who will be 19 when they graduate. 19!!
Maggie says
Exactly!! It is particularly disturbing to me that boys are typically the ones held back, which means they are a whole year older than most of the girls in their class, potentially creating a harmful power dynamic as they move into high school years and beyond. I teach college and see so many dominant men in the classroom and timid (but often very smart!) girls. And I say this as the mother of two boys.
alison says
agree!!!
Jayne Henderson says
Interesting but not a very balanced viewpoint. Research shows that children do just as well in school regardless of their birthdate over time. It seems that most of the decision making is done to meet the parent need or to try and improve sports opportunities. It is interesting that the article states that this happens at much higher rates in high income, white schools. Competition to be achieve is high in those school. Lots of pressure to excel from the parents and the school. Maybe they wouldn’t need that year if they were more relaxed acceptance of who children are.
Allie Doherty says
So my son was in an early intervention program because he had delayed speech so they sent him to kinder this year. He turned 5 Sept 15th. So he was 4 when he started this year. He was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis last month and missed a lot of morning and still is until he can get into full remission. I met with his teacher today about doing another year of kinder and she disagrees. He is doing good his scores are great but the cut off is Sept 30 which means he just made it and he was born 7 weeks early. She said she doesn’t think holding him another year is possible because hes done so good. I don’t see it this way he has struggled with sight words and writing. I’m at a lost. I thought she would agree. I don’t know what to do to keep him another year.
Jeanine says
I think this is a case by case decision for each child, and that not one rule could apply to each child. I sent one child to school who was 5 weeks early and she has done so well. And I sent another child who was a month from the cut off to school because the preschool teacher mentioned that if I didn’t he would be bored. He is doing math at a 6th grade level as a 2nd grader, why should I have penalized him by his birthdate. Both children are doing so well and have tons of friends, and have all A’s. I don’t think your reasoning above is why everyone should redshirt. In addition, 60 minutes ran an episode stating that redshirting was NOT good for everyone in the long run. I based our decisions on my husband. He was held that year back because he kicked the kindergarten teacher. He graduated at the top of his class and NEVER had to work for anything. I’m sorry, but kids should have to work a little otherwise they will never learn to achieve anything. I worry your reasonings here is so that you feel better about your decision. Remember you have to do what works for you, not what works for someone else.
Amy says
My child will be turning 5 the end of July and school starts in August and I had already signed him up for kindergarten for this Fall mostly because I didn’t think I had a choice to wait to send him. He is a very smart little guy but I don’t feel that he is ready for the whole school thing for many different reasons. My daughters both went the year they turned 6 because of November birthdays but I have really struggled with this. I’m going to talk to the principal tomorrow but do I have the right to pull his registration because like I said I would have never enrolled him had I known that I could wait until next year. I am just afraid they are gonna give me a hard time about it but the way I look at it I am his mother I have spent every waking moment with this child since he was born and I feel I know what is best for him and a total stranger does not. If anyone had any advice for me I would greatly appreciate it. I taught my girls at home before Kindergarten and they are both the older kids in their class and they are both A students so I know I am capible of teaching him and he has 2 sisters and cousins he plays with so he isn’t lacking in being social. Thanks
Christina says
I have a question regarding when to begin Kindergarten for my son.
His birthday is May 9th, and he is currently 2 years old. He will be evaluated for a possible speech delay in a couple of months, as he has limited expressive language (still cannot put 2 words together, and he really struggles to repeat me), but he is otherwise very smart in terms of receptive language. He even knows 6/9 numerals and at least 20 uppercase letters of the alphabet (recognition; does not say sounds or letter names yet).
If I were considering traditional schooling, I would likely hold him back due to his birthday, maturity, and the possible speech delay. However, it is my plan to homeschool both of my children throughout elementary school and possibly longer. Given that he would be in a 2 on 1 environment (just me, him, and his big sister), and given that I can modify material and work with him at his comfort level with homeschooling, do you still recommend delaying Kindergarten? Or should I go ahead and consider him a Kindergartener at age 5?
Violet says
I think there are pluses and minuses to both ways. Strictly due to the way birthdays and cutoff dates fell, I was still 4 when I started kindergarten, and my daughter was nearly 6 when she started in her turn. I never had any trouble academically, but I hated being the youngest and smallest and being picked on, so I was relieved that she wasn’t going to have to deal with that as well. It was great for the first few years, but by the time she started sixth grade, I could see she’d outgrown elementary school, was bored with the same activities and assemblies, and was ready to move on, but she was stuck there for another year anyway (middle school didn’t start until seventh grade). The same thing happened again her last year of high school–she turned 18 only a few months into the school year, and most of her friends had already graduated and left the previous spring, but she still had to stick it out and go through the motions. So it definitely becomes less of an advantage farther down the line.