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I was reading a story in a magazine the other day, where a woman was annoyed by her friend’s happiness. I know that it is true, that people feel this way, because it has happened to us. Just this week someone left a comment on my husband’s blog that said “You can’t really be that happy in your marriage. No one is.”
We debated how to respond to it. Do we tell him that he doesn’t know us and couldn’t possibly be REALLY judging us? Do we delete it? Do we ignore it? In the end, I got on & responded to it, as me, telling him that yes, it is true. I guess it is true what they say… misery loves company.
In the same light, I think that a lot of times, the jealousy that this woman (in the magazine) felt came out of her own insecurities… but it didn’t have to.
Joy is internal. Happiness is what you make of it. You can choose to be happy and feel joy when you want it. You meet joyful people every day, I’m sure. Think about how they look at life. Really look at them and try to figure it out.
Motherhood is full of so many unexpected emotions and struggles. In the business of mom life, it can be easy to be dragged down by the day-to-day things (dishes, cleaning, potty training, ball practice, homework, cooking), but think of it as a good thing. Sometimes we just have to understand why we don’t feel the way that we want to feel. If you aren’t feeling joyful, get to the bottom of it and find the reason.
I saw this last week on my Facebook Feed & wanted to share it… It kind of sums up what I mean about finding joy.
Here are the 3 main reasons why people aren’t able to find happiness…
(1) You are looking to others to make you happy. When you are expecting your kids, your husband, your friends, or whoever else to make you happy, you will feel disappointment. This is because everyone will disappoint you at some point in time. We cannot put all of the pressure on others to make us happy.
(2) You are creating too high of expectations. How often do you get upset about something only to realize that the trigger was your unrealistic expectations? You anticipated your baby taking a longer nap, you expected the play date to go smoothly, and on the list goes. There will be unexpected bumps in the road. Life with kids is full of them. When we enter situations knowing that things may not go as planned, we are able to have open hands about what may happen.
(3) You focus and dwell only on the negative. Some days seem filled to the brim with one frustrating thing after another. It can be exhausting dealing with all of the hurdles thrown your way. When we start to focus only on the negative, our vision becomes blurred and suddenly anything good is overlooked.
The truth is there is always something good. Even in the middle of the worst day, there is something. Make it a point to count the good things every day. Start a journal and write them down or mentally check them off in your mind.
Having joy as a mom is possible and you deserve it. Joy is not just for the optimistic personalities, it is for everyone. As you set out into this week, make a decision to choose joy above all else. Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff, instead, enjoy those small things.