The words that we speak to our children have the power to grow our children into amazing people. I love to know that the words that I say to our kids impact their lives. I understand that our words become their inner voices and I try to work hard to say things that I want them to really know.
It an be words as simple as the words from the movie, when she said… “You is kind. You is smart. You is important. ” (quote taken from the movie “The Help”) We have the power, every single day, to shape their character, to help them become the adults that we hope that they will be. It only takes a little bit of encouragement from us, as parents, to speak the words that resonate in the lives of our children. To find the inspirational words & motivational quotes that lift our kids.
What our children need more than anything else, is to know that they are loved. I love this scene from the movie, The Help, because these small sentences spoken to this child are the perfect ‘seeds’ that are needed to grow confidence, leadership and character.
I want to share a story about my brother and his son (my sweet nephew).
Here is the background:
My brother, Dr, Tim Hoffman, works as the principal of a local charter high school. He and his wife, Jill (a biology teacher), have two children: Dylan and Lia. Our children and their children are VERY close… in friendship & in age… born in ’06, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’11, ’12.
Here they are… trying to stay warm for our beach pictures on a unusually chilly Hilton Head beach day!
Last year, Tim was trying to make an effort every day to tell Dylan that he was proud of him for something.
Proud of him for helping his little sister, Lia.
Proud of him for cleaning up his plate without being asked twice.
Proud of him for helping to pull out weeds in the yard.
A few weeks had passed and although Tim had gotten a little out of that habit, it didn’t matter… the ‘seed’ of that effort was already planted and it was taking root, as you will see in the next story…
One day Tim and Dylan were spending time at the pool in their neighborhood, as they do so often. They were leaving the main pool area and had begun walking towards the exit gate. When the reached the gate, Tim put his arm up, as to not let Dylan through. He turned to Dylan, laughing and asked:
“What’s the password?”
Dylan just smiled and tried to sneak under my brother’s arm.
Tim smiled again and said “No passing until you give me the password. I’ll give you a hint…” He then started to tell Dylan the password:
“DADDY IS ________?”
(Now, in Tim’s mind, he was looking for something like “Daddy is awesome!” or “Daddy is fun!” or “Daddy is silly!” What he did not expect was to have our sweet Dylan come up with something that would be even more validating. )
“DADDY IS PROUD OF ME.”
Those five words meant more than any others. What more can we ask than for our children to know that we are proud of them. It only takes a little encouragement on a daily basis to show our kids that the love that we have for them is so powerful. We have the power, as parents, to give our children the wings to fly and the tools to succeed. We just need to plant the seed to get them started.
Today I challenge you to tell your child why you are proud of them. Try to tell them something every day. Make it a seven-day challenge for yourself.
During lent last year, I made an extra effort to tell each of our four children at least three specific things that I was proud of them for everyday. You should have seen them beaming! (I also made an effort to tell my husband, as well. If you thought the kids were happy… you should have seen him smiling!) haha!
You are welcome to join my parenting challenge by clicking on the calendar below (free):
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*The images of the children on this page are not to be used on any other page without permission.
I am going to share this post with my husband. Thank you! I hope my sons will all feel and say “Daddy is proud of me.”
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thanks! I hope that mine do, too.
Doing Good Together™ says
What an awesome reminder that big-hearted connection begins with the words we say and the praise we give to our children. There’s always time to plant the seeds of kindness. Best of all, as children hear these words and see parents’ examples of kindness, they’ll in turn model that kindness in their words and actions.
I can’t thank you enough Becky for such amazing life changing write-ups.. I wish I had read something like this 5 years ago when my first child was born. I am so fortunate to have read your posts. Thanks !!
I’ve read a bit about this topic. Seems evidence is growing to support encouraging the child being proud of themselves. Encouraging the development of an internal locus of control vs external is key. We don’t want our kids always looking for reinforcement from others.
We have always told our son we are proud of him, right from the time he was old enough to understand. As time has gone on, and especially now at 18 years of age, we tell him he should also be proud of himself. Children need to explore and develop the emotions that make up their self worth, and being proud of their deeds and accomplishments, adds to that worth immensely.
Shannon Blandford says
Thank you for sharing. Seems we get caught up in today’s society with trying to enrich our kids through activity and possession and neglect the importance of our spoken word.
HUGS! ty for sharing – i love your post for a couple reasons. best to you and yours.
Lindsay Ingram says
Thank you so much! 🙂