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Today I am talking about why more kids make me carefree, because it was really on my mind to figure out why I feel like more kids = less stress.
more kids makes me carefree
Last year, I went to NYC to do an interview with Kelly Ripa & she asked me  “How do you do it all?” My answer always remains the same:  I can’t do it all and I don’t do it all, but I do the best that I can and our family is happy.


There was an article published recently that confirmed what I was thinking… the title is “The happiest parents have 4 kids”  (although I think the number could go less or more & still be accurate)

“A new study finds that the happiest parents are those who have four or more kids according to The Daily Signal, a study conducted by Australia’s Edith Cowan University found parents had the most life satisfaction with larger families.

“[The parents] usually say they always wanted a large family, it was planned that way, and it was a lifestyle they’d chosen,” study author Dr. Bronwyn Harman said, according to The Daily Signal.

The study also revealed that children of larger families are more independent at a younger age and always have friends.”

becky & jack
You can’t be perfect in your life.  You can’t raise perfect kids or have perfect parenting moments all of the time.   You can’t maintain a perfect house, and have your kids running around and playing in it.  You can’t cook perfect meals every day that your family praises.  It just isn’t real life… and I don’t expect it to be.

Four kids has made me realize this – it has made me more carefree.   Why?  It is easy- I recognize that I can’t do everything for all four of our kids, and in turn, I am more stress-free because I don’t put that pressure on myself.  We are good enough.

If I have to go to football practice for one son at the same time as soccer practice for another son… I realize that one of the kids will be late or one will be really early.   I can’t change it, so I am not going to stress about it.   We will be there.  If I realize that we have a doctors appointment in 15 minutes and time got away from me, instead of stressing about it and yelling at the kids, I will just tell everyone to get their shoes on (or I’ll take their shoes to the car & ask the kids to get in & put them on in there) and I will call the office on the way to say “We are going to be 10 minutes late.  Do I need to reschedule?”   99% of the time, the answer is “no, you’re fine.  Come on in.” I don’t stress about it.   We are doing fine. 

 biking outdoors - yourmoderfamily
When we don’t get to eat a well-balanced meal for dinner, because we were too busy to fit it in, and they had to have McDonalds or Mac & Cheese (again), I just remember that there are other meals in the future and we can eat better at that one.   This is good enough.  Sometimes, your 3 year old daughter wants to wear her play shoes out for the day… and you let her, because it makes her smile SO BIG and isn’t that what really matters?

ruby reds

And in those moments, the moments of running late or being in the midst of chaos, if one of the kids finds the “most awesome rock ever!”  chances are that I am going to let him stop to pick it up, because at the end of the day – which one was going to bring memories or make him smile?  Which one is going to be better for him in the long-run?
I realize that with four kids, I can’t create the perfect dinner to make everyone happy.
I can’t be everywhere at one time.
I can’t win every battle, so I let them wear bright green shirts 90% of the day.
don’t want to win every battle, so I let them wear bright green shirts 90% of the day.
I can’t be perfect- and they don’t want me to be.   I want them to see that I am a mom, a regular human being.   I am their mom, a wife to their dad.  I am their mom, a cook (not the best cook, mind you, but a cook that tries to keep them healthy).   I am a mom, their cheerleader and their support system.  I am a mom, their biggest fan.

So… I am not perfect, but in the eyes of my children, I am pretty darn close.   In my own heart- I am not as worried about being perfect as I am about being the best mom to them and I can tell you that this REALLY lowers your stress & makes you care free.    🙂  Stop keeping up with the Jones’ and just keep up with your family- they will happier for it!
A little boy sitting on a park bench with his legs crossed with text above him.10 life lessons I want our children to learn

Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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  1. So true! I really think letting go and doing the best you can is one of the best things you can do for your family. I really notice that if one parent is stressed, it’s contagious and then both parents are. And then all the kids!

  2. Wow, this seriously resonated with me right now, Becky. The last few days, I wondered what I got myself into with my three kids (not even four!). Just last night, I got upset at my twins because they both wanted me to dress them up after bath time, even though my mom was also there. I could’ve just been more empathetic, or even made it light, but instead I got so uptight about it. A great reminder to let it go and be more carefree!

    1. Oh, Nina! I can relate to those kinds of things. It can be hard not to lose your patience in those moments, I know.