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I wrote this post a few years ago, Why I Still Carry My Kids, but it still is close to my heart, so I wanted to share it again today. A good reminder for myself & hopefully others. 🙂
I see you looking my way – when I hold my 7-year-old, my 5-year-old, my 3-year-old in my arms. I want to tell you something: my 9-year-old doesn’t fit there anymore… and that is why I still carry my kids.
It was last year that I carried him last. Last year that he was too tall to be carried. He is almost the same height as me now (I’m 4’11) and I remember when I tried to pick him up to carry him down the hall and I couldn’t do it. He has tall and heavier than I had remembered. When did this happen? When did he grow so much? Get so big? So old?
Last year, my seven-year-old got hurt on the soccer field and I went out and carried him back to the stands. My husband, who was also his coach said “Babe? Why did you carry him? He was OK to walk.”
I replied “Do you know how many of those people cared that I carried him? ONE. One person cared… Beau, our son.” He was the one that cared. He was the one that felt safe, loved, taken care of by his mom. It didn’t matter if the people in the stand cared because they weren’t my kids.
This year, Ethan, 5, was tired and when I told him that I would carry him, he said, “I think I’m too old now.” I told him that you will never be too old for your Mom to carry you. Too big, perhaps, but never too old.
When Allie, 3, wants to be carried, I pick her up. I joke with people that she lives on my hip. She won’t be this way for long. She is all about her mom right now and wants me to pick her up constantly. I love how she runs to greet me and jumps into my arms because I know that this ends. I know that they go from jumping into your arms to an “Oh, Hi, Mom.” in just a few short years. Yes, I’ll carry her… as long as she will let me.
I remember that in all of the things that we do, they end. My parents don’t tuck me into bed anymore, they don’t read me books anymore, they don’t tie my shoes anymore, they don’t help me ride a bike or read a book or do my homework. No… I’ve grown up. So will our kids. Soon, I won’t be doing those things for them. If I can just remember that this will not last long, I am more likely to enjoy it – every second of it.
Next week could be the last time that I carry Beau, our 7-year-old, up the stairs, or the last time that I carry Ethan, 5, to bed, or the last time that Allie, 3, wants to be carried through the grocery store.
Today isn’t that day… today I still carry my kids and I don’t care who knows it.
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Nothing can give me so much happiness than to carry my children as long as i can. I always carry them although they can walk. The feeling of intimacy when I hold them close to me is just so priceless to miss!
Its funny. You can remember when your child takes his first step,gets his first tooth, sits up all on his own.
Sadly, you don’t realize until much later that this is the last time your child reaches for your hand to cross the street, ask you to read them one fish two fish, need you to wash their hair, fasten their pants pour their cereal ….
I will admit it. My niece is 4 and she is too heavy to carry. We don’t even bother carrying the 7yr.
Oh, yes! Finally, I meet people here that understands me 🙂 . I still carry my 5 year old son and I really loved doing that although my husband always tells not to do it anymore. I know that this isn’t going to last forever. As you said, Becky, one day I won’t be able to that anymore. My daughter is 9 and I cannot carry her anymore as she is too heavy for me (I’m a short skinny mama :)) but she suffers a lot for that. She still likes to cuddle, and hug me and she acts like she is still a baby :).
I had a women comment to me that my (then) 16 month old son was as big as me while carrying him in my Ergo. I looked at the top of his head below me & queried: really? She had said with a tone that said “he’s too big for you to be carrying him”. She said yes, he goes from your head to your knees (he actually went from my chest to my thighs). I even had someone comment to me when he was 9 weeks old that I couldn’t carry him like that forever. 9 weeks! It’s funny how people feel they need to tell you not to carry your kids. My son is almost 18 months now & I plan to carry him as long as he will let me. He definitely lives on my hip & I’ve learned there is a lot you can do with just one arm. I’ve also learned I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was as he’s now about 25lbs. Are there times when I feel too tired to carry him? For sure! However, I know this time is short & there will come a day when he is actually too big or no longer wishes to be carried so I will carry him as long as he lets me. I must say that I’ve had a lot of positive comments too where grown men & women say “I wish someone would carry me like that!” Don’t we all. ❤️
My barely 4 year old is well over 4 feet tall & people ask me this all the time! My two year old is a sturdy 40 poynd little man. I carry them both, when they need me. Thank you!
I’m so glad that I was not the only one in this world to carry my kid!! thanks for the article.
I remember my daughter was around 14 yrs old and she was already as tall as me and we were going home from a day of sightseen around NYC and she was so tired and there were no seats in the train, we were by the pole and I made a “seat” for her with one of my legs and the other againt the pole and holding with one arm, the other arm around her, holding her, she sat there, closed her eyes and soon was asleep. I endured the hour ride home, people around the packed train gave me the look, I did not care, because my only care was for my child, and when we arrived I embraced her and walked out of the train with my sleepy girl, today, she remembers this and many other times when I carried her, she is married and no babies yet, and she says to me, mom, you need to do to my children what you did to me, love them and spoil them and carry them even if they are too big, well, that will be easy because my heart is so full of love for my child, that will be passed on to my grandkids one day, and that love made me strong to carry her all the time even when she was too big!
🙂 Thank you for sharing!
That was so so beautiful Mercedes!
Beautiful story Mercedes. (except for the part where no one offered you a seat!)
I love this article, and although I don’t like to think about my kids getting too old to be carried..I know it will happen..until then I will enjoy carrying them, sometimes two at once??
Song for a Fifth Child by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton (1921- )
Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.
____________________________________
My Mom had this in cross stitch that hung on our walls growing up. She got it when my big sister was born, and is a mentality she kept with ask of us. Let the children be children for they won’t be for long. 💖
🙂 love it.
I have 2 children, a daughter who is 15 (will be 16 in Dec.) and a son who is 11 (will be 12 in April). Both of our kids, I’ve carried till I couldn’t hold them anymore in my arms. Our son is almost as tall as me and I’m 5’3″ and my husband is 6’2″. Our daughter is taller than me by an inch. But I’ve told them both, you will never be too old for me to carry or too heavy if I am able. I will give piggie back ride them if I am able. My husband has told me countless times when they were growing up that they are too old to be picked up. I still carried them.
We still have a bed time routine:
1. Get their waters for themselves unless they forgot when they lay down then I get it for them.
2. Give hugs and kisses and say goodnight.
3. I tuck our son in still and I give him hugs and kisses.
4. And then he yells out to each of us, “Goodnight dad, or mom, or sister, love you, see you in the morning!”
I’m never going to tire of it.
I remember I tried reading to them but they never sat still long enough but it was long enough for me to enjoy it.
I love this. My son is not even 2 yet, but is the size of a very tall 2-3 year old. We were at the store one day, and he did not want to sit in the cart, so I carried him. He wasn’t making a fuss, just enjoys being carried. As we stood in line, the woman behind us, a much older woman, tapped me on the shoulder, and proceeded to tell me that she would “never even dream” of carrying her kids around when they were “that big”. I told her that my son was only 18 months, and she honestly looked at me like I was lying to her, and stopped talking. People can keep their judgments to themselves. You are the parent, and YOU know what is best for you and YOUR child. They can shove it, haha.
Thank you!
Ok, so call me crazy but my baby is in college and wanted a piggy back. She is as tall as mom and you know what? She got her piggy back ride from the car to her apartment. She’s 20 and I’m 45 but you know what else? As long as I’m able to keep up the little things that mom had always done, I’m in. You carry those babies as long as you can!!
I love this. Although on the one hand I was glad when my kids got big enough not to “need” to be carried, even my 5-1/2 year old jumps up in my arms pretty often still. Sometimes I feel like putting her down because she’s “too old” to be carried, but I usually hold on to her because — just as you say — the day comes so quickly when they really are “too big” and/or they wouldn’t dream of letting you carry them. (Although I still sit in my mom’s lap sometimes, and I’m 37 years old today, so maybe you never truly are “too old!” 😉
Thank you for writing this. My husband and I are grandparents and love having the opportunity to carry the grandkids since they give such awesome hugs. We love the closeness that we get to share during this time together. It is unfortunate that parents forget that these children will grow up way too quickly and if they aren’t taking advantage of this time to bond, they will be missing a lot of special closeness with their kids.
I completely agree. Thanks for writing. 🙂
I really like this article. It’s a shame that everything is so biased towards women behaving like this and not men… People responding that their husband said ‘they’re too old to be carried’. I will carry my boys as long as I have arms. I will cuddle them until the day I die.
Also, that’s not a dig at you or your site. I find that in general these articles are aimed at women because it’s seen as weakness for men to feel this way, I guess…