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I wrote this post a few years ago, Why I Still Carry My Kids, but it still is close to my heart, so I wanted to share it again today. A good reminder for myself & hopefully others. 🙂
I see you looking my way – when I hold my 7-year-old, my 5-year-old, my 3-year-old in my arms. I want to tell you something: my 9-year-old doesn’t fit there anymore… and that is why I still carry my kids.
It was last year that I carried him last. Last year that he was too tall to be carried. He is almost the same height as me now (I’m 4’11) and I remember when I tried to pick him up to carry him down the hall and I couldn’t do it. He has tall and heavier than I had remembered. When did this happen? When did he grow so much? Get so big? So old?
Last year, my seven-year-old got hurt on the soccer field and I went out and carried him back to the stands. My husband, who was also his coach said “Babe? Why did you carry him? He was OK to walk.”
I replied “Do you know how many of those people cared that I carried him? ONE. One person cared… Beau, our son.” He was the one that cared. He was the one that felt safe, loved, taken care of by his mom. It didn’t matter if the people in the stand cared because they weren’t my kids.
This year, Ethan, 5, was tired and when I told him that I would carry him, he said, “I think I’m too old now.” I told him that you will never be too old for your Mom to carry you. Too big, perhaps, but never too old.
When Allie, 3, wants to be carried, I pick her up. I joke with people that she lives on my hip. She won’t be this way for long. She is all about her mom right now and wants me to pick her up constantly. I love how she runs to greet me and jumps into my arms because I know that this ends. I know that they go from jumping into your arms to an “Oh, Hi, Mom.” in just a few short years. Yes, I’ll carry her… as long as she will let me.
I remember that in all of the things that we do, they end. My parents don’t tuck me into bed anymore, they don’t read me books anymore, they don’t tie my shoes anymore, they don’t help me ride a bike or read a book or do my homework. No… I’ve grown up. So will our kids. Soon, I won’t be doing those things for them. If I can just remember that this will not last long, I am more likely to enjoy it – every second of it.
Next week could be the last time that I carry Beau, our 7-year-old, up the stairs, or the last time that I carry Ethan, 5, to bed, or the last time that Allie, 3, wants to be carried through the grocery store.
Today isn’t that day… today I still carry my kids and I don’t care who knows it.
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I was thinking that today…. My baby will be 5 months on Sunday… I cannot believe where the time goes. I get lots of “concerned” parents asking why I rock my child to sleep every night. I enjoy rocking him to sleep and enjoy our evening cuddles… I know he will learn to fall asleep on his own.. So what he doesn’t fall asleep on his own he is a tiny thing still. I will never get the months back pf him being a little newborn. And the times I followed people’s advice my baby ends up with a flat head. I used to hold him a lot and people said you’re holding him way too much blah blah… So I started putting him down more and what not now his little head is flat. So we don’t and shouldn’t listen to others. We carried those babies and know them better than anyone else. I love this article:)
Thank you 🙂
My son will be 13 in 3 weeks and we still cuddle on the couch while watching our favorite shows. I still get to “tuck him in” at night and he sometimes will hold my hand in public or put his arm around me. I’m also very fortunate that every time I come home from work or even running errands he will still come running for a hug hello – sometimes I can barely get my purse put down and I can’t even think about getting anything out of it until he gets his hug.
So I say Carry On…as long as you can!
love that
I called my son my ‘Little Calorie Burner’…always on my hip. I carried him EVERYWHERE…he hardly ever walked…up stairs, down stairs, in stores, walking anywhere…I joked that Id gain ten pounds when he got to big for me to carry…I MISS CARRYING HIM. I miss my sidekick…Now every night he is my ‘Lay with me, Mommy’ child. You can bet that I never say no. For I, like you, there will come that day that will be the last time…and i might not even realize it! Karen Kingsbury’s book, ‘Let Me Hold You Longer’ says I best…I have an older daughter that showed me all too soon how they get to big for us…
LOVE that book – I wrote a whole post about it. 🙂 haha!
Thanks for this! My babygirl is 17 and she still wants me to carry her sometimes, lol. <3 I'm glad she still loves on her momma and wonder how much longer she will be like this, so I still carry her (:
This just made my day.
As a single mom (5’4″) to a very tall 3 1/2yr old (people assume he’s 5), I get ridiculed for carrying him CONSTANTLY. I tried to get pregnant for 10 YEARS and was told I’d never have children. I will carry my son until I literally fall to the ground trying. He loves it, I love it. Who cares what anyone says or thinks (including my own family ). Both of our breathing become one and all is right in our world when he’s in my arms. So refreshing to read of other moms doing this too while they still fit in our arms!
The world can be a scary place and people like to rush children to grow up so fast now. My son will always be my miracle baby and I intend to cherish him the way he deserves to be.
so stinking awesome.
too big – never too old.
I love it!
Hi Becky. I am a 57 year old mom and grandma. I raised 5 kids who are now 18 to 29 years old. I also carried my children as much as possible and for as long as possible. I found that my two kids who were ADD benefitted from it more then the others. It seemed to comfort and calm them when they couldn’t settle down on their own. I was often critized for not making them walk or not letting them grow up. But they all grew up and quite well I might say. I used a sling when they were babies. Some time they would bring the sling to me when they were toddlers. It was their way of letting me know they wanted and needed to be held. My younger son who is now 20 still has me carry him piggyback style once in a while. We both get a laugh out of it. Fortunately, he is not too tall and only weighs 135lbs. My youngest grandaughter is only 3 weeks old. I hold her every minute I can and so do my son and daughter-in-law. Children are designed to be carry. Carrying them will never hurt them. Carry On!!!!
Thanks so much for this article. My daughter is 3 and started preschool a few months ago. I still carry her when she asks me to. I was devastated because her teacher told me one day that my daughter is a big girl now and I should not be carrying her to class. My daughter asks me to carry her to class and I feel it brings her great comfort before she has to leave me for a few hours. She has been very nervous about being away from me to go to school. Her teacher is not a mom, so I feel she is cold and doesn’t understand. Anyway thanks for this article because I feel exactly the way you do. I cried and cried to my husband one day because it makes me so sad to think of the day when she won’t want me to hold her anymore!!
Wow, I have teras in my eyes. You wrote so beautifully… Can I translate your article into polish language and add it (with link to your site) on my site? ( http://www.rodzicielstworadosci.com ) ? Please, please! I never used a stroller, only wrap or hands, I will carry my daughter (still one, but we try to have more children) until I’ll be able to.
OMG, Dear Becky, I just HAVE TO tell you, you’re carrying them THE WRONG WAY!!! Your spine is so curved that it hurts my back even watching you!! It’s totally curved in the shape of “S” word!!! Carrying your kids ON YOUR HIP is the worst possible thing to do!! Try carrying them differently. I’m mother of five, I’m petite and have numerous problems (spine, hips, bones etc.) because of 5 pregnancies and unfortunately I didn’t find out about proper carrying until my 3rd child … A few physiotherapists told me how to carry a baby/child if there actually is a necessity …
I haven’t read all the comments – maybe someone has already told you what’s the proper way to carry a child.
I’m sorry for not being more specific but English is not my native language. Best regards and btw – great articles! 🙂
My 14 year old daughter loves that I can still carry her! Now it is not as graceful as it used to be but she doesn’t care! We just laugh together. She just loves the fact I can actually carry her on my back or she can hug my neck with her legs wrapped around my waist. She still asks me to lay down with her if she has had a bad day, she still asks me to scratch her back and I never hesitate! Eventually I will not be able to but I hope she remembers it as fondly as I am! I am treasuring all these “moments”.
I lives this post. I typically have my almost 5 year old on one hip and my almost 2 year old on the other. They weigh close to the same so the balance each other. But people always look at me like I’m crazy. My husband tells me that I’m babying them. But they are only little for so long. Thank you for this. It will make those crazy looks a little more bearable.
🙂
I have 4 children. Ages 19, 16, 11, and 2. The older ones still love to snuggle and hold hands with me. Honestly it use to creep me out. I did not grow up in an affectionate home. But, I knew I was loved. After reading the comments I will cherish these moments with them as long as I can. I feel blessed to have children that love and want to be close to me.
🙂 So sweet.
Working with preschoolers, and by NO means an expert, I want to say when children are carried they tend to lack maturity and confidence. I understand how precious the moment may seem while you carry them in whatever circumstance it may be…….there is nothing more precious than to see your child move through life with strong independence, confidence and strength that they are robbed of when they are coddled or babies. I think that is one of the most nurturing things parent can do is guide them towards independence.It is hard not to make it about us and loosing all those baby moments. The years ahead may not be of snuggling, carrying, or the closeness that we may have with them when they are younger but the closeness will be in a different form. I really struggle with parents that carry their children to the classroom. The child often has a horrible time disconnecting from mommy and it make the drop off experience long and emotional for momma. I had to lovingly guide a mommy to get away from holding her little one. When she stopped and realized how she had really empowered the child to detach and do things on his own she was sooooo proud of herself and him!! I strongly believe one of the best ways to love your baby is to guide them towards this independence and strength! It’s not about us right?
I would also like to add I am a crazy loving momma of two! I believe in holding hands, affirming words, lots of one on one time together! Please do not think I am cold! I love my children good but want them to be strong and secure on their own!
I completely agree with you ! Great comment !!
You’re right…I AM looking over at you, but it’s to give you a Hey-we’re-soul-sisters look b/c I feel the same way (-: . It’s the same look I give to breastfeeding mommies at restaurants and stores, and the same one I give to the poor mom at the grocery store who is trying so hard to be a good parent by simply saying “No” to her screaming child who wants a candy bar.
You are honestly the best mommy blogger I have ever come across on the Internet (-: . I am a 48-year-old homeschooling mother of five (24-8), so you can imagine how many sites I have seen (-; !
🙂 That was so so sweet. Thank you!