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I wrote this post a few years ago, Why I Still Carry My Kids, but it still is close to my heart, so I wanted to share it again today. A good reminder for myself & hopefully others. 🙂
I see you looking my way – when I hold my 7-year-old, my 5-year-old, my 3-year-old in my arms. I want to tell you something: my 9-year-old doesn’t fit there anymore… and that is why I still carry my kids.
It was last year that I carried him last. Last year that he was too tall to be carried. He is almost the same height as me now (I’m 4’11) and I remember when I tried to pick him up to carry him down the hall and I couldn’t do it. He has tall and heavier than I had remembered. When did this happen? When did he grow so much? Get so big? So old?
Last year, my seven-year-old got hurt on the soccer field and I went out and carried him back to the stands. My husband, who was also his coach said “Babe? Why did you carry him? He was OK to walk.”
I replied “Do you know how many of those people cared that I carried him? ONE. One person cared… Beau, our son.” He was the one that cared. He was the one that felt safe, loved, taken care of by his mom. It didn’t matter if the people in the stand cared because they weren’t my kids.
This year, Ethan, 5, was tired and when I told him that I would carry him, he said, “I think I’m too old now.” I told him that you will never be too old for your Mom to carry you. Too big, perhaps, but never too old.
When Allie, 3, wants to be carried, I pick her up. I joke with people that she lives on my hip. She won’t be this way for long. She is all about her mom right now and wants me to pick her up constantly. I love how she runs to greet me and jumps into my arms because I know that this ends. I know that they go from jumping into your arms to an “Oh, Hi, Mom.” in just a few short years. Yes, I’ll carry her… as long as she will let me.
I remember that in all of the things that we do, they end. My parents don’t tuck me into bed anymore, they don’t read me books anymore, they don’t tie my shoes anymore, they don’t help me ride a bike or read a book or do my homework. No… I’ve grown up. So will our kids. Soon, I won’t be doing those things for them. If I can just remember that this will not last long, I am more likely to enjoy it – every second of it.
Next week could be the last time that I carry Beau, our 7-year-old, up the stairs, or the last time that I carry Ethan, 5, to bed, or the last time that Allie, 3, wants to be carried through the grocery store.
Today isn’t that day… today I still carry my kids and I don’t care who knows it.
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Makes me a little sad my six year old still wants to be picked up but he too big for me at six he the average size of a eleven year old. He’s taller than a few adults I know 🙁 when he was five he had a injury that made it hard for him to walk it almost killed me to carry him just from our car to a shopping cart. We get lots of looks when he wants hugs and kisses in public
I’m sorry- that has to be hard, but you love him & who cares what they think… 🙂 you are a good momma!!
Yes!! Still carrying my 7 year old and will for as long as he wants me to and I’m able.
I wish that I could carry my son still. He’s 5, weighs 60lbs and I haven’t been able to carry him since he was about 3. From my lower back to my neck is forever not right from a car accident years ago so I can’t carry heavy things. It makes me sad that i can’t carry him when he wants me to but I try to make up for it by snuggles and letting him sit on my lap. Bonding with your child is a big thing I think especially since I’m a single mother.
I needed this. My daughter will be 2 on Saturday and I know this is the beginning of her independence, it makes me sad. I miss my baby, my newborn that barely fit into my arms. I didn’t cherish that time enough, or maybe I did. I may just miss it, but I do know this any time everyone tells me why are you babying her or holding her she can walk, she will be spoiled, no I’m the one who is spoiled, that’s what I will say. Thanks lol
Nailed it!! This had me tearing up, because it’s absolutely true! You never know when a particular moment will be the last time you ever do it. you never know until time has past and you look back, and it doesn’t happen anymore. My son is nearing 15 months, and what got me through the sleepless nights, and the “neediness” when I was trying to do something else, or so tired I could barely put one foot in front of the other, was to Stop and remind myself.. ” you know what mamma, this time passes TOO fast, ands you never know when it will be the last time they cry in the night and want you to rock and comfort them back to sleep, when it will be the last time they lift their arms to you and say “up!” or when it will be the last time you are the most important focus of their world” We all grow up one day… but for now.. I will savor every moment I have with my lil prince!
thank you.
Are you just carrying them in your arms?
Because a ring sling style carrier would make carrying them a LOT easier.
The sling I’m currently using is tested to hold 100 lbs of kid (or maybe even a small adult).
I don’t want to advertise the company on your blog, but if you want to send me an email, I can point you at the right company.
I often carry by 6 and 8 year olds. They ride on my back more than my hip these days, and I will do it until they can carry me. They feel special that I pick them up even when not asked to, but recognize when they need something extra. It is a 5 block walk home from school and I will always give them a lift if they would like it. It is a beautiful thing.x
My 7 yr old is too heavy and tall for me to carry now, so instead I give her a piggy back from her bed to the lounge room in the mornings. Starts her day with something fun and some attention from me 🙂
This made me cry, beautiful and so true coming from a mom who’s only baby boy is a freshman in college. Those moments go by so fast. Cherishing each one, if I could give any advice to mom’s of little ones this would be it. Snuggle that sleeping baby in your arms , pick up that crying baby, carry those kids till your arms physically no longer can.. take a step back during those challenging times and take a breath in a few short years you will wish for those tantrums back.. loves this so much. Thanks for sharing
thanks!!
My husband actual sent me the link to thia and it brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing this. Our world is so quick to make judgement on others, and so quick to make you grow up. I still carry my 6 1/2 year old any time he asks me too because like you, I know the time is short that this will be possible and wanted.
Thank you for sharing this
That was so thoughtful of him. 🙂 Thank you for sharing that with me!
Completely agree with you! I carry my 4 year old all the time. My 6 year old is getting so heavy, so it’s hard to hold her for long but I still do when I can and she loves it. Sadly my oldest (10 year old son) is now past that stage but on occasion I pick him up at home because he gets a laugh out of it! 🙂 Time goes by WAY to quickly to miss out on those extra moments with our little ones.
🙂
I love this post! And I completely agree. I still carry my 7-year-old and my 6-year-old, because I know I won’t always be able to. Every morning, my 7-year-old wakes up, comes downstairs and I pick him up, carry him across the room, then we cuddle on the couch. I know it won’t last the rest of our lives … so for now, I’m loving every single moment of it.
🙂
This was great to see, my daughter is almost 5 feet tall and 7, she can fit size 10-12 in clothes, she just about 60 pounds and I always carry her or hold her whenever she wants, I tell her most of the time that I gained over 70 pounds when I had her so no reason I can’t hold her, I also tell her it’s good for my muscles, even if I have bad knees and back ?, she’s the only child I was able to have so it’s important that she know how loved she is.
This is so wonderful. I have a different perspective. When my son was 5 and my daughter was just a baby of 6 months, (and I was 33 years old) something happened that would change my life and the lives of all my family. I went to bed New Year’s Eve, 1989, a normal, relatively trim woman who walked 3 miles a day, was raising 2 beautiful children, a happy homemaker and wife of my husband of 14 years. When I awakened the next morning (New Year’s Day, 1990, something had happened to my body overnight. My knees had filled with fluid and I couldn’t walk or stand. The pain was incredible. My knees were huge. My husband got our baby daughter out of her crib and took care of her and our son. We finally called a neighbor to take me to the ER so my husband could stay home and take care of the children. I could barely get to the car. I was put in a wheelchair at the hospital. They didn’t really know what to do with me. I was returned home and got into a rheumatologist within 10 agonizing days. Fast forward. The following years were very difficult. I had developed rheumatoid arthritis. It took a terrible toll on my health, our finances (the medications for this disease are very expensive) and the ability for me to care for our children. Somehow I did it. I was in terrible pain and the disease wasn’t confined to my knees. My shoulders, hips, wrists, fingers, toes and back–all suffered. It was hard to lift and carry my baby. As my daughter grew, she understood I was in pain and would ask “Are you sittable today?”–meaning would it hurt me if she got up on my lap. The children grew and I was the best mom I could be. My children learned compassion for me and other people with disabilities. My children are grown now, both married and both new parents. My daughter and her husband have an 8 month old daughter and my son and his wife have a newborn son. What a joy my children are and now my grandchildren! Over the years, I’ve had over 25 surgeries, many orthopedic surgeries to knees, toes, fingers, wrist, elbow and 6 to my shoulders alone. I cannot get my children to sit on my lap–especially my daughter. She does not want to hurt me. I finally begged her to–I so miss it! She will sit on her dad’s lap. My son will sit on my husband’s lap. But, the kids are afraid to hurt me. They don’t want to hurt their mom! I love them so much. My daughter will occasionally sit on my lap but I have to beg. I really miss that! It was one of the things I had to give up as they grew. Now I hold my grandchildren. My granddaughter is already getting heavy for me. We will see how long I can carry her. I loved reading that you love to carry your children. Do so as long as you want to. They grow up too fast! I really enjoyed reading your account. Be grateful that you are physically able to do this! For all of you women reading this–be grateful for the challenging times of young childhood with your children. They will pass quickly. And be grateful for your ability to carry them. It is a great blessing! I will be 59 next month. I have been married 40 years. I am heavier now than I was (years of prednisone use contributed to that) but so grateful for the children and grandchildren and husband I have been blessed with! Life is Good!
That was so sweet!
I have only been blessed with one perfect gift and at 4 and a half she is almost 4ft tall and about the size of a 6 year old… But regardless she is only little for such a short time when she wants up I don’t care what others say I carry her and cuddle her!! We get this for such a short period and for those of us who only get these gifts once around I say cherish every second!