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I wrote this post a few years ago, Why I Still Carry My Kids, but it still is close to my heart, so I wanted to share it again today. A good reminder for myself & hopefully others. 🙂
I see you looking my way – when I hold my 7-year-old, my 5-year-old, my 3-year-old in my arms. I want to tell you something: my 9-year-old doesn’t fit there anymore… and that is why I still carry my kids.
It was last year that I carried him last. Last year that he was too tall to be carried. He is almost the same height as me now (I’m 4’11) and I remember when I tried to pick him up to carry him down the hall and I couldn’t do it. He has tall and heavier than I had remembered. When did this happen? When did he grow so much? Get so big? So old?
Last year, my seven-year-old got hurt on the soccer field and I went out and carried him back to the stands. My husband, who was also his coach said “Babe? Why did you carry him? He was OK to walk.”
I replied “Do you know how many of those people cared that I carried him? ONE. One person cared… Beau, our son.” He was the one that cared. He was the one that felt safe, loved, taken care of by his mom. It didn’t matter if the people in the stand cared because they weren’t my kids.
This year, Ethan, 5, was tired and when I told him that I would carry him, he said, “I think I’m too old now.” I told him that you will never be too old for your Mom to carry you. Too big, perhaps, but never too old.
When Allie, 3, wants to be carried, I pick her up. I joke with people that she lives on my hip. She won’t be this way for long. She is all about her mom right now and wants me to pick her up constantly. I love how she runs to greet me and jumps into my arms because I know that this ends. I know that they go from jumping into your arms to an “Oh, Hi, Mom.” in just a few short years. Yes, I’ll carry her… as long as she will let me.
I remember that in all of the things that we do, they end. My parents don’t tuck me into bed anymore, they don’t read me books anymore, they don’t tie my shoes anymore, they don’t help me ride a bike or read a book or do my homework. No… I’ve grown up. So will our kids. Soon, I won’t be doing those things for them. If I can just remember that this will not last long, I am more likely to enjoy it – every second of it.
Next week could be the last time that I carry Beau, our 7-year-old, up the stairs, or the last time that I carry Ethan, 5, to bed, or the last time that Allie, 3, wants to be carried through the grocery store.
Today isn’t that day… today I still carry my kids and I don’t care who knows it.
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I just turned 40, have 8 herniated discs in my back and neck…my youngest child is 6 with Autism. He does like “hugs” or “kisses” but loves to be carried. I take him in my arms and enjoy every precious moments he will let me hold him; it is my way of hugging and kissing him and showering him with all my love and I LOVE each and every moment of it!
I meant to type he does NOT like hugs or kisses.
I carried my daughter until she was to heavy and didn’t want to be carried. I still carry her 9 and 7 year old. My daughter is now 27 and still climbs onto my lap when she needs to.
My 7 year old grand daughter still wants me to carry her, sometimes even into school. She is getting a little heavy but I still do it for as long as I can because I know soon enough she won’t even want me to WALK INTO school with her. I love the closeness and cherish every single minute….and no I don’t care what ANYONE says about it…
My mom still carries me, when i fall she makes sure i get back up, as I will do for my children until i am no longer here to do it. Her 4’10.5 frame may not be able to physically lift me, but she sure hasnt let that stop her from making sure her children never stay down then they fall. My 6yo is 80 lbs (has been for 3 years weight is being managed professionally). I still lift her, my shoulder suffers for it but shes my daughter and as long as she feels secure with me holding her, i will. One day she will be embarrassed to hug me, until then, as long as i’m her hero, i will do all i can to help her feel loved.
Hi..i am linda from Malaysia..i have 3 kids right now. 4, 3 years old & 13 days old.
Previously. .i still carry my kids.
Now im in confinement and c section delivery. Myvkids sometime upset with me.
Bcoz i cant carry them 😉
Only carry newborn
I love this! I carry my almost 6 year old as much as I am able, which is getting to be less and less all the time, and I get so tired of people telling me ” you won’t be able to do that forever you know” as if it is a bad thing when that is exactly why I do it! I am not sure why people are in such a hurry for children to act like independent adults when they are only little for such a short time ( I do teach her all the things she needs to know but I also enjoy doing things for her while she still lets me).
Thank you. Your post made my day!
Love.
I love your posts so much, they make such sense to me i see my kids just how you do through your eyes, my husband not so much….he misses things doesnt appreciate etc doesnt always see their innocence and everything from a childs eye…….i cant wait to read more
I love this post so much!
I sometimes still pick up and hug my 8 and 10yo’s with their legs around my waist. They wouldn’t dare let me do it it public, but I sneak one in at home 😉
I’m 6ft so am big and strong enough to do it, I’m sure it won’t be long before they are way too big, but I’ll do it as long as I can and able.
Thank you for sharing xx
This post was so sweet! It reminds me of a cute thing that happened to me recently. (Excuse my bad english)
I was chilling on the sofa at night with my 6 years old, watching TV, and she fell asleep on my lap. I tried to stand up with her in my arms to take her to bed, but couldn’t do it, because she was too heavy. That made me very sad so I kept trying to arrange her slept body, but still couldn’t lift her. It was making me so sad I felt tears coming to my eyes, from not being able to carry my little baby anymore.
This is when my husband approached the sofa from behind, because he was in the kitchen, and picked me up in his arms (bridal style), with my daughter still on my lap. He carried us both to bed like that as if it was nothing. And he said to me with the cutest smile: “I can lend you some strength anytime you need it babe”. I fell in love again that day 🙂
That’s so cool! I love this view.
Good for you all!
Hi Becky,
It’s very true! Kids always need that love and care…A piggy back ride is my son’s favorite..I give my 7 yr old..one… sometimes..
Thank you for the lovely post.
How lovely !
Carrying is in no way just a practical duty. Carrying is joy and friendship an love and celebration and … ohhh, so much except for anything negative !
Carrying is really the most positive emo-physical connection people can make with each other. I goes both ways, carrying and the desire for being carried. It should never stop, as long as you’re strong enough for the weight !
It’s not just the parent to kid thing. I look at it in the broadest perspective ! To start with, kids do grow, of course 🙂 …and there comes the swich-over point when the kid can carry the parent ! It should be welcomed with a warm open heart ! Make it fitting in with those things in live wich are allowed and feeling good and rich and exciting !
The emo-physical connection is not lost when your kid starts lifting and carrying you, as parent ! 🙂 For no other reason, then joy. Some kids are so strong, they already “can”, when still shorter and lighter. Role swich is wonderfull. Role switch prevents an emotional loose, which would be pityfull and often onesided. When your kid came up with a run-&-jump on you, make clear to your upgrowing kids that you would enjoy the similar thing in reverse as well ! Many kids really would love to do it, if they just knew their parents would embrace the switch, and even more important: nothing taboo at all.
And then, go bejond the circle of parents-kids relations. Sweetly carry friends, or let youself being carried.
Adults should do it often and lovingly. My personal spirit is like that, but the biggest holdback is the massive silent taboo existing in society.
Hope I can inspire people !
This article made me cry(happy tears and sad tears).. I love my 2 boys. One is 5 and one is 3. They both still sleep with me in my bed. Their dad travels often.. So they are my company. I carry my kids also…. I always think that when they get older they won’t want nothing to do with me and it makes me sad.. your article touched my heart.
I am a 62 year old Mother and Nonna to two beautiful daughters and two beautiful granddaughters. I, too was a kid carrier until the very last minute I was able. Guess what? My 36 year old daughter still loves to hold my hand in public
And both of my daughters love to cuddle in my bed for mommy
Daughter time. Carry as long as you can and savour that bond forThe rest of your life.
nicely written. and so very true every phase comes to an end and another step nearer to them flying the nest