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I wrote this post a few years ago, Why I Still Carry My Kids, but it still is close to my heart, so I wanted to share it again today. A good reminder for myself & hopefully others. 🙂
I see you looking my way – when I hold my 7-year-old, my 5-year-old, my 3-year-old in my arms. I want to tell you something: my 9-year-old doesn’t fit there anymore… and that is why I still carry my kids.
It was last year that I carried him last. Last year that he was too tall to be carried. He is almost the same height as me now (I’m 4’11) and I remember when I tried to pick him up to carry him down the hall and I couldn’t do it. He has tall and heavier than I had remembered. When did this happen? When did he grow so much? Get so big? So old?
Last year, my seven-year-old got hurt on the soccer field and I went out and carried him back to the stands. My husband, who was also his coach said “Babe? Why did you carry him? He was OK to walk.”
I replied “Do you know how many of those people cared that I carried him? ONE. One person cared… Beau, our son.” He was the one that cared. He was the one that felt safe, loved, taken care of by his mom. It didn’t matter if the people in the stand cared because they weren’t my kids.
This year, Ethan, 5, was tired and when I told him that I would carry him, he said, “I think I’m too old now.” I told him that you will never be too old for your Mom to carry you. Too big, perhaps, but never too old.
When Allie, 3, wants to be carried, I pick her up. I joke with people that she lives on my hip. She won’t be this way for long. She is all about her mom right now and wants me to pick her up constantly. I love how she runs to greet me and jumps into my arms because I know that this ends. I know that they go from jumping into your arms to an “Oh, Hi, Mom.” in just a few short years. Yes, I’ll carry her… as long as she will let me.
I remember that in all of the things that we do, they end. My parents don’t tuck me into bed anymore, they don’t read me books anymore, they don’t tie my shoes anymore, they don’t help me ride a bike or read a book or do my homework. No… I’ve grown up. So will our kids. Soon, I won’t be doing those things for them. If I can just remember that this will not last long, I am more likely to enjoy it – every second of it.
Next week could be the last time that I carry Beau, our 7-year-old, up the stairs, or the last time that I carry Ethan, 5, to bed, or the last time that Allie, 3, wants to be carried through the grocery store.
Today isn’t that day… today I still carry my kids and I don’t care who knows it.
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thank you I am currently running an expanding childminding business in my own home with four lovely girls 3 5 9 10 and your post has me crying quietly in a corner my 9 has just come back from a couple off nights at grannies and she is playing with the new moon dough and her 5 year old sister I have ordered a small take out tea when hubby asked why I said because I love you all and I want to enjoy the sounds a bit longer have tea and cuddle my girls then read your post it is so true getting the balance is hard and we have to remind our selves our babies will grow fast enjoy them love them xx
Thank you. I love that. So true.
What a lovely article…..He was the only one that mattered. We give up do much caring what other people think. I would have applauded you.This article brought tears to my eyes…You will never be to old, you may be to big and when that happens you will feel it physically…thank you….from New Hampshire
Thank you. 🙂
Absolutely awesome! Who cares what anyone other than those precious babies think? I have one child, a 7 year old boy, and I pick him up out of bed every morning and hold him while he sleeps. I lay with him every night until he falls asleep and if he asks if he can sleep with me and his dad the answer is always yes. I dread the day he says no more or that I can’t physically pick him up but I know that day will come. So thank you for being such an awesome mom and standing up for all the Moms that put their kids first every time!
Thank you! I agree!! 🙂
I have 4 kids. Two are teens in high school and the other 2 are 8 and 4 (almost 5). While I had not been able to carry my baby once he got older ( I had issues with my hip, just had a replacement this past Feb.) I do let him fall asleep with me in my bed. He will go to bed before me and ask if he can sleep with me. I tell him to grab his pillow ( because he sweats so much I want a dry pillow when I go to bed lol ) and so e times he asleep when I go up and other times we go at the same time. He gets moved by his dad when he comes to bed and he stays in his bed the rest of the night. I don’t care what anyone says. He is my baby. He is the only on of the 4 that would go to bed with me. The others would go on their crib and fall asleep. From day one he would go to bed with me and once he was asleep he got put in his own crib/bed. He is my baby, my last. This won’t last. I know. My teens don’t crawl into my bed at night any more. My 8 yr old has never been one to want to sleep with me. I will take the snuggles, sweat wet pillows, the non stop talking until he’s out. I will take feeling him lay next to me for as long as I can. It won’t last forever and I will miss it when he stops.
I am rambling. But i love my kids so much it hurts. I am lucky to have a 14 yr old son who will come to me and tell me he had not hugged me today and will give me a big hug. He tells me he loves me all the time. I will take it. Hope it doesn’t end but I will take it until it does.
I love that you shared so much! Thank you!!
Aw, I LOVED this Becky. I will definitely need to remind myself this as my now 1-year-old gets older. I absolutely love carrying her and will be so sad for the day when I’m no longer able to!!
I am a mother of 2 wonderful fully grown men, ages 22 and 23, although I can’t remember the last time I carried my younger son I still would if he’d let me or needed me to. I carried my oldest son across his living room in July. I love my boys with all of my being and the bond we have is undeniable.
I just love how you have written it. I have a 6 year old boy and who loves to be carried and finds every reason to be carried. I have slip disk but that has not stopped me from carrying him. He still sleeps with me and I get all kinds of responses on that such as how he will never be independent, he is going to be clingy , how I should train him to sleep on his own and other ridiculous stuff. My current reply is My son will decide when he is ready to move into his own room till then I am going to enjoy my boy’s company. After all he is my Son. I will carry and be with him as long as I can.
Thanks for this post! Happy I’m not the only one! I am a psychologist in Greece. I sometimes hold my 5 years old son if he has played too much and is too tired. If somenone gives me a strange look I just hold him even more!
My husband still carries my youngest, 10 yrs old, if she ask. She will forever be daddy’s little girl. He’s the one having a more difficult time with our children, 17, 14, and 10 yrs old, growing up so fast. All my children are too big for me to carry, because I’m only 5’2″, but I carried them till I couldn’t anymore. I think they still remember that and instead choose to cuddle with me or hug me constantly when we’re walking, even the older too, and they’re boys. I grew up in a non-touching family, very little hugs or kisses and don’t even remember my parents ever carrying me (so they must have stopped when I was able to walk). My family would also give me a hard time for carrying them or letting them sit in my lap, saying they were too old. I would just explain that their lack of receiving parental love shouldn’t affect my children’s abundance of parental love. ?
My son’s are 9 and 6 and I still pick them up, I love being able to have them in my arms, close to my heart.
I’m not a mom but I LOVE this post!! I have a very special connection with two of my nephews who live 3,000 miles away from me. For the past 10 years, Ive flown to the east coast to see them (Min. 5 times a year) because I’m afraid to miss them grow up. They are now 8 and 10 and they still LOVE and I choose to carry them as soon as they see me at the airport, going upstairs to prep for bedtime, or whenever I know they want to be comforted. True the 10 year old is getting heavier so I just give him a piggy back ride upstairs. The only people who comment and say they are too old to be carried are other family members and because they just don’t understand our bond, the kids just look at me and smile. I love that there are moms out there who are not afraid to show that they care more about the comfort of their kids than what others might say. Keep showing your kids that you love them!!
I wish i could carry my daughter she just got to heavy to lift its hard to even cuddle her when she’s sick or a bad dream she has a medical problem that makes her have night terrors
This past weekend we were at Disneyland and my son got a bit ill on a ride. Afterwards, while waiting in line for some water, he was feeling pretty overwhelmed and dizzy, so I picked him up and carried him for a few minutes. He’s 9. And like you I didn’t care what anyone else thought, he was the one who cared that I was making him feel better. (Fortunately, he’s a fairly slight 9 year old!)
I work in a daycare and see parents carry their kids in all the time and used to think they need to let them walk, let them become independent. Now as a parent of sons who are 14 and 17 I say yes. yes carry them anytime you get the chance. They are only young once. Do it while you can and they will let you.
I know my 9yr old would love to be picked up and carried. I’m preggers and can’t, which makes me a little sad for both of us.