This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclosure policy.
Several years ago, when our child was still waking up at night (two years old at the time), I went into our Doctor’s office with this complaint… “My 2-year-old is still waking up at night .” Her advice changed our nights!
I was recently talking to a friend having the same issues, so I decided that if she needed some encouragement, others might, too.
I wanted to share this with you because our son was the BEST sleeper.
He came home from the hospital and slept through the night.
At one year of age, he continued to sleep all night long. He did this until he was about two years of age and then it started. He started waking up at night, and it was happening every night. He was waking up not feeling rested… even, might I say… “Crabby”?
Once we started watching his patterns more often, we realized that it was around the same time every night. He was going to bed around 7:00 every night (6:00 if he didn’t nap at all) and waking up in the morning around 7:00 or 8:00. If he goes to bed at 6:00, he wakes up between 6:50 & 7:30 – he always gets at least 12 hours, sometimes 13, which is about what he needs.
He started waking up at midnight, too. He would wake up and cry. We would go in, cover him up and he would go back to sleep. Sometimes he wanted a drink or different pajamas (not sure about this one, he just liked to change his pajamas – haha!)
It was impacting his mornings.
He wasn’t acting like himself because he was waking up and not getting his much-needed rest. After a few weeks of this, I was exhausted (We have three other kids, and one was a baby at the time.) He was exhausted, too.
This photo was taken around that time…
I wish I could say it was a short phase, but it continued. A few months later, I was even more exhausted. When his 3-year well-check came around, this was brought up, and we received great advice!
THIS ADVICE CHANGED HIS SLEEP PATTERNS, AND HE BEGAN TO SLEEP ALL NIGHT LONG…
What you need to do:
She told us that when WE go to bed, go into his room first, hug him, kiss him, lay with them, cover him up…. all things to rouse him just a bit. Wake him just enough to break him out of his sleep a little. What this does is that it breaks up his sleep cycle. He was waking when he was switching from his REM sleep. Do not wake them up! Just make them stir a bit.
Don’t lie down with them or talk to them. Just rub their back, tuck them in, kiss them on the cheek… just enough to make them switch sleep cycles. This brings them out of their sleep slightly, which is just enough to make them fall back into a deep sleep and hopefully sleep through the night. I studied child development in college, so this makes complete sense to me once she said it.
I wish I would have thought of it sooner! It worked PERFECTLY! He no longer woke up at night and he sleeps the full night. I was so excited the first night, and I have been happy ever since! So the key is just to ‘stir him a bit’ before you go to bed. That was it for us! I hope that it works for you, too!
For more sleep tips, you are welcome to sign up here for my free email series called “Helping My Child Become a BETTER Sleeper.”
I will also send you a sample sleep schedule.
Ps- just for a little “inspiration,”… our kids are now much older, and everyone sleeps through the night… most nights. 🙂 It gets better- I promise.
These are the faces of well-rested kids. 🙂
More posts you might like:
This is so interesting! My 3 year old has been coming into our room to sleep in the middle of the night lately. Last night my husband went in and gave her a kiss but didn’t wake her before he went to bed. She slept through the night. The same thing happened 3 nights ago and once again she didn’t come into our room. I hadn’t put it together but it makes total sense! I guess we will be giving her a kiss when we go to bed! Easy enough!
I have tried everything to get my 2 year old to sleep through the night but nothing has worked could someone help me with advice please
I too studied child development at university but this makes no sense to me! When we sleep we go through continuous sleep cycles, every 90 mins is a full cycle, consisting of 5 stages of non-REM sleep (lighter sleep) and ending in REM sleep (deep sleep), then we stir, and the whole thing starts over again until morning.
You’d have to be sure you were waking him during the REM stage, so 90 mins average after he falls asleep, and that’s IF this theory even works. It would be fab if it did but I see no link to research to back it up, and I’ve never heard of child development grads who studied toddler sleep patterns.
I, too, studied child development for four years in college and then took more classes for my therapy certification. The key is that you aren’t waking them completely, so you are just restarting their sleep cycle. It truly works.
Ps- I did run it past our neurologist before trying it and he gave the OK.
my son is a little over 2yrs old…..he used to sleep thru the night but around 5months when he started teething, that’s when he started waking up during the night….like i said he’s now 2yrs old and still wakes up once during the night! if i give him a sippy with a little milk, he’ll drink it all and fall back to sleep. when i first lay him down at night about 9pm (not taking naps anymore) he is so incredibly stubborn that he screams and cries anywhere from 30mins to one night was 2hrs and i had to give him and give him a sippy. is he just waking up in the middle of the night because he’s thirsty? or is it something else? there’s no set time that he wakes up…it tends to vary. oh and his crib is in my room at the moment (i’m staying at my inlaws while husband is deployed)…..
This is very informative, thank you for sharing. I am going to try this.
My son is just over 23 months old but for the last 5 nights now he’s been waking up so frequently every night (at least 3 times) screaming his head off, trying to open the door but he can’t. We have tried to go in & resettled him but that made him even more excited so we decided to just let him cry & he would go back to sleep on his own eventually (this can take up to 45mins sometimes). He is usually in bed by 6.30pm and wakes up around 6am-6.30am but again the last 2 weeks on / off he would wake up at 4.45am – 5.30am and would not go back to sleep. He would be wide awake – sometimes cries out for us or sometimes he would just stand at the door in his room. I’m not sure what’s going on with him or if he’s going through some kind of growth spurts? And he hasn’t really been eating that great either for the last week or so…
Any suggestions would be much appreciated! Thanks!
Hi. This is what my baby is doing right now with the waking up at night at the same time. I’m seriously exhausted. I want to try his but what is the time difference of when you put your baby down and when you go to bed? My baby is just over two years old. Please let me know. Thank you!
Erica
My roommates daughter wakes up several times thru the night but she also has a very hard time getting her to bed in the first place. She was always so good about going to sleep when it’s bedtime but about 2 weeks ago she started throwing huge fits when story time is over and it’s time to go to sleep. We’ve tried everything. She has 2 night lights, 3 stuffed animals, a fan for noise, the door cracked open so she can get out if needed, even tried the light on. But nothing. Takes a few hrs for her to give up then she still wakes up twice a night and it starts all over. Any advice? We did recently move but the first 2 was in new house she slept great! Why the sudden sleep issues? She doesn’t nap at school so bedtime is 7pm
Oh no- I”m sorry. 🙁 I can ask this on Facebook if you want me to (to see if other readers have seen this). IN the meantime, try reading my post on “how to keep your child in bed”. It might be helpful.
This is so interesting but makes perfect sense! Our daughter has slept through the night since 6 weeks old until just recently. She will be 3 in July. Its been a few weeks now that she’s waking up screaming for us and saying she had a scary dream. It was getting to the point where it was almost every night! But just this week it stopped. She also has a bit of a cold so I’ve been hearing her coughing before we go to bed. I wonder if that’s changing her sleep pattern?
Just curious, would you continue to go in there every night or only until they stop waking?
Yep- it can take only a few nights thought. 🙂 Good luck!!
My daughter has 18 months …and it’s been a nightmare ? From birth to 8 months she woke up every 90 minutes!!! Then (8 months) she started sleeping 3 hours, sometimes 4 but just from 730 to 11:30 (first part of the night) Then she would continue to wake every hour or so… When she was 14 months I decided that maybe breastfeeding was causing this because there were entire weeks where she would wake up and latch 10-12 times every night so I was tired … I was exhausted… I was doing stupid things all the time ?so I decided that maybe without breastfeeding her I would finally rest but … we are still the same.
I’m desperate? everyone tells me that is time for her to sleep in her own room; and maybe even let her cry a few nights… But I JUST CAN’T
My daughter is 18 months and has become super clingy. She has been sleeping through since she was 11 months old. Now she has started waking up 2-3 times (sleeps only 9 hours at night) and she is super tired and clingy in the day. I have to stay till she falls asleep (screams if I leave the room ). Will this work for her ? Say i try this two hours after she has slept ?
You could try it? I’m not sure, but I think it would work for everyone since it is just adjusting their sleep cycles.
My baby is 17 months are keeps waking up. She was the perfect sleeper from 11 months up until now. Would this work for her too?
I think so… worth a try 🙂
I have a just 2 year old. She is our 3rd(other two are older), and by far our worst sleeper. I have always been extremely anti co sleeping until I haven’t slept a full night in two years. She goes down fine in her bed…normal routine every night(naps fine in her crib during nap time). Wakes up anytime from 12-3 and want some to sleep with us. We can’t let her cry it out(trust me we have tried many times) because she throws up pretty much after about a minute. She can be a light sleeper, so I’m afraid if I went in and shook her around I would wake her up and then we would be where I’m at in the middle of the night. Any thoughts?
Oh wow… poor thing. I’d try giving her a little kiss on the cheek around midnight (that’s how I stir my 4 year old). It’s just enough to not wake her, but to break her of her REM sleep.
I will be trying this starting tonight. My foster daughter wakes up several times during the night. Hopefully this will help.
I recently found your blog when searching for activities to do with my 3yo toddler – I am a newly-minted SAHM, with NO idea what to do all day to keep her engaged and learning! Your blog has helped get us moving each day. Then I found this post, and you may have just solved all our sleep problems, too!! I’ve had about 50% success rate with the “rousing” technique so far (only about 4 nights yet), but that’s 50% better than we were doing! I think I just need to find the *right* amount of rouse to avoid a full wake-up shortly after. It’s nice to be able to sleep, uninterrupted, a few nights; I am hoping to get us to 80-90% success each night! THANK YOU!!