Self-care is not ‘salt baths and chocolate cake’… it isn’t always beautiful or luxurious, either.
I was on Facebook the other night, much too late (I should have been asleep knowing the kids would wake up early) when I saw a picture & post that caught my attention. It wasn’t the picture, but the words that made me stop and think “So true”…
“Self-Care isn’t always chocolate cake and trips to the spa. Sometimes, it’s meal planning, going to bed early or letting go of a bad friend. It’s forgiving yourself for not meeting your own impossible standards, and understanding that you are worthy. Always. Self-care isn’t just luxuries, but a means for survival.” – Whole Self Health
The topic of self-care is everywhere: trending on Instagram when people post their coffee mugs as they overlook a beautiful lake with the caption “Away for my self-care weekend”. It’s on Facebook when I see the perfectly edited photo of a friends legs, crossed at the ankles, heels in the sand with the hashtag #SelfCareSunday. It’s on blogs when we read about the ways to pamper oneself.
Self-Care can be all of those… or none at all. For me, it’s just the opposite. I thought about what it meant and why it meant so much to me. When I hear friends talk about Self-Care and weekend trips to the mountains and spa days with friends, leaving their kids at home with their husbands, I often catch myself thinking “That sounds terrible to me.” and “That’s not what I would do if I have a free weekend.”
Instead, I think of how I would go grocery shopping for a few hours and have a meal-plan made for the entire week. I’d catch up on my e-mail, organize a closet or two and finally finish the kids baby albums that I’ve been putting off for years now.
As my grandma used to say: Different Strokes for Different Folks. I get it, it’s not the typical #SelfCareSunday, but it would be my perfect one.
Personally, being away for a spa day or weekend trip would do the complete opposite of self-care for me. I feel best when I am with my family.
A self-care day for me would be a day filled with endless hugs and cards made with love.
A self-care day for me would be knowing that dinner was in the crock-pot, so I didn’t have to worry about it.
A self-care day for me would be cleaning the kitchen so that I could know that it looked nice everytime that I walked into the room.
A self-care day for me would be falling asleep holding one of the kids.
A self-care day for me would be waking up an hour before my family to enjoy some peace and quiet while I made their favorite cinnamon bread breakfast, just so I could see four happy little faces come down the stairs when they knew what I was baking.
Self-care, to me, is all about taking care of me- which really means taking care of my family, because that is what makes me feel energized, refreshed and happy.
Self-care looks different for everyone.
Self-care is about YOU and using those little moments to work on building the life that you want to live, so you don’t have to feel the need to escape for a weekend unless you really want to.
It’s all about what makes YOU feel cared relaxed. I think of it as my way to catch-up and put things into place, get organized and caught up, so I can really BE in the moment, all the time, without worries.
Self-care is so different for each person. I even did a little research to see how much it varied…
” Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.
It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.
It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.” – Lovewhatmatters.com
“Taking time to be a better version of yourself won’t always be in the form of bubble baths and mani-pedis. Guess what? “Treat yo self” and wanderlust aren’t the true meat of the path to peace.
The truth is, self-care isn’t always pretty, and it isn’t always fun. It requires work. Actually putting in the work and taking all the uncomfortable steps necessary to become, and stay, the best version of yourself.” Myhappyjourneigh.com
“True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. – Brianna Wiest”