Did you know that studies prove that Clutter & Depression go hand in hand?
When clutter is weighing you down with the toys in the living room, beds unmade, and dishes left in the sink… these things make us feel mentally cluttered. It makes our homes look messy and it makes our emotions feel messy.
This newly updated post was originally published in 2017.
Clutter & Depression are linked
In the book Life at Home in The Twenty-First Century (This book was based on a rigorous, nine-year project at UCLA where middle-aged Americans are studied, watching how they use the space & things in their home), it states that clutter affects our mood.
I couldn’t agree more.
It affects our mood and how we feel about ourselves. This clutter, which is mostly things that we don’t even use, is weighing us down.
In the book, they found that there is a connection between the objects in the house & the stress hormone levels. More Clutter = More Stress. (Women were far more stressed by it than men).
Why? Women are judging themselves and others on the cleanliness of their homes. In their minds, a clean home meant a happy home. It made them feel accomplished and put together to have a well-maintained clean home.
When we start to have too much stuff, it can really put a weight on us. An emotional weight, but still a weight. It makes us feel like we have a never-ending list of things to do.
It makes us feel frazzled and in disarray. It makes our tempers high and our patience low.
Do you find yourself reprimanding your kids for not cleaning up? Or for no reason at all?
It is because you are overwhelmed by the mess of it all, but having too much stuff.
Do you know who feels our stress the most? Our kids. (It’s proven)
Why Does Clutter Make Us Stressed?
If you are thinking about how your house is cluttered… this is the time that you aren’t spending LIVING YOUR LIFE. Once you are able to free yourself from the burden of these extra physical things, the ones that seem to tie us down, we can let them go and have more time to spend enjoying life.
Your home is where you should go to relax. You can walk into a clean, fresh, sunlit home. You can walk into a home that welcomes you and invites you to feel joyful, renewed, and calm.
We are going to get there.
You can start by decluttering your home.
What Can You Do About Clutter & Stress?
If you feel like your clutter is causing you stress, what are you going to do about it?
You need to get organized. I have a declutter course that talks about how to declutter, clean & organize your home because I wholeheartedly believe that being organized saves my sanity. I’ve realized that you can not organize clutter. You have got to just get rid of it.
Did you know that over the course of our lives, we will spend an average of 3,680 hours (153 days) searching for misplaced items? This study found we lose around nine items every day (which ends up being 198,743 items over the course of our lives.)
The items on the top of the list are keys, phones, glasses, and papers. – Research & numbers come from The Daily Mail
You probably have too much stuff. Most of us do.
You can take a Declutter Course (clear your home of clutter with the support of others!) It’s the best thing I’ve ever done and thankfully it’s a way that others are able to declutter their homes, as well.
Why do people have SO much stuff in their homes? There are usually four reasons:
1- Sentiment: We don’t want to get rid of it and risk hurting someone’s feelings.
2- Fear Of Needing It: What if we want it ONE day? Will it come back into style? What if I want to make that fancy meal with that fancy appliance?
3- We have ‘backups’. I literally had two crock-pots for about three years. I had five cookie sheets… which was more than was even able to fit into the oven at one time. Why? It was my backup.
4. Aesthetics: We keep things to make our house look “beautiful” but we end up keeping more than we actually want (and it makes us feel worse because it clutters our homes.)
ARE YOU READY TO DECLUTTER?
Here are three options to get you started…
1- Join Our Free the 30-day Declutter Challenge. (Print the calendar to help you stay on track!)
2- Print these Two Free Cleaning Schedule sheets.
3. Jump in with both feet & declutter the entire house with the Whole-House Declutter Course. You will declutter & organize your ENTIRE whole home with my help. It starts today, so join soon!
You Can’t Organize Clutter
No matter which option you pick, remember that you can’t just push your clutter under the rug. You’ve got to get rid of that clutter and there is no time like the present!
Don’t be afraid to let go of things in your home… they are just things. The people in your life matter more and when you get rid of the things in your home, you gain time.
You will stop looking for things, stop spending hours cleaning things and stop organizing by just moving things around, only to have to look for them later. Decluttering & organizing will save you so much time and you can finally spend that time on the things that really matter to you.
Susan says
Yes, yes, yes! This makes so much sense. You cannot organise clutter, you have to get rid of it. Thank you, I’m with you on this one. I will be waiting for tomorrow’s post and will be acting on it. I’m tired of my clutter.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Susan – I was there a week ago, so I hear you! I’m glad that this will help you. 🙂
Kathleen Bailey says
I wish I could declutter, but my house is to far gone and I have really just given up. It’s hard for me to do anything now cause I have COPD. My clutter definitely doesn’t help my depression or anxiety. Ugh! 🙁
Marianne says
Just do one small bit at a time. I’ve been in that place where you don’t even know where to start and over several years…I’ve truly done it. Don’t give up!
Kris Boddicker says
Kathleen, I understand the overwhelming feeling of clutter. I do not have COPD, but I’m wondering if you can start with 1 thing. Just 1. 1 pile, 1 box, 1 bag, just 1 of something. I know it’s going to be a lot of work. It didn’t get that way in one day. Once I do 1 pile it fills my sense of accomplishment. It inspires me to do more. Don’t give up. You can do 1 thing, then another 1 thing. I have not seen this course, but my recommendation is to work on 1 room. The one that will be the easiest. That gets the momentum going. Clean a square foot area, then a 2 foot square area, then the top of a cabinet it table. Can’t you just see it going away?! Just start with 1. My bet wishes go out to you. You can do it!
Kat says
I was at that point before. I had a Cleaning Party and afterward, gave everyone a night out on me, or home cooked meal (I gave them a choice). They did the work and I just told them where things needed to go. 4 hours and I had everything (including my bedroom) cleaned and organized.
Jess says
Do small increments at a time.
Get two trash bags. Start in a room any room. Fill one with trash and one with items to donate.
Do this once a week and you will chip it away before you know it.
If you feel up to doing more do more. It’s a very liberating and wonderful feeling.
Kathy Keller says
Why not ask a friend, church member, or someone to help you a little at a time. You can sit and say , please donate these books, give this stuff to good will etc. You don’t have to do it all in one day. Why not try once a week just work on a small corner or closet, etc.
Take care and just breath!
Lori Bobrowski says
Kathleen Bailey – you start with the room you spend the most time in. Pick one corner in that room & work on that corner until completely done, then move to next corner, etc,etc,etc. It may take 3 months for one corner but you will be proud & feel fulfilled. It will spur you on to do the next corner. Good luck! (And ask for help if you need too!)
Karen says
Never give up, it is never too late! I found it easier to spend 15 minutes in each room, just long enough to see a small improvement and not get overwhelmed by wondering how to tackle the whole room from start to finish. Just walk in a room, spend 15 minutes working and go to another one. I got more done that way, because I wasn’t spending time looking around and feeling doomed and closed in. By accomplishing a little, it motivated me to do more next time around!
BARBIE says
Downsizing at 63 …same old thing…way too much stuff…I am over it…and yes pacing yourself helps curb the overwhelming feeling of omg
Cindy C says
Downsizing at 61 ….I don’t want my daughter to have to get rid of this junk! Plus I have a goal to move within 2 years to move out of state! Keep decluttering!
Meere Küsel says
Saying goes
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time
If you start with only the things lying on top and gradually work through them first. Soon, you will feel the accomplishment and that rolls into more ambition for the other rooms and soon snowballs into good things.
Bill says
I am a man of 60 years of age. 15 years ago my divorce was final and I came home to an empty home where the only stuff left was trash and memorabilia omily of here daughters and 17 years. The depresson was slow but the clurewwith it. I found it hard to leave the house let alone keep it clean and manageable. I let no one vivt and became recluse in my clutter. Seeing it and living in it made the wall I was building taller and stronger. I tired many avenues available to me in hope of finding help for m depression. I hired a friend boys to clear out my garage and it was hard but I said take it all I want to see nothing but floor and walls. I cried, I hid and when they were done it was a relief that was unusual. It did feel good. I began to go to my mailbox regularly and look into my garage. I found enough courage to go to a mortgage company and after a year of getting me back in the credit game I refinanced. Well, long story short I have but one large pile of house stuff and a new living room floor. The clutter is down. I have two rooms with nothing but beds, shelves and emptiness. I painted and I took much to thrift store and gave away much. I love the way my house is becoming lighter both visually and stuff wise. Depression is still there but I can see it and not allow it to run my life. I have some control and enjoy the freedom.
Georgiann Maloney says
Keep up the great work. I find the more unneeded things that I get rid of, the happier that I feel. Best wishes to you. 🙂
Miriam says
I can wait for tomorrow’s post.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Day 2 is up, but day 3 will be tomorrow. 🙂 I’m glad you found it helpful!
Debra@AModernTranslation says
You are so right – you cannot organize clutter. It just needs to go. It’s the “what if’s” that keep clutter in our lives. Visiting from SITS. Have a great Sunday.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
SO TRUE- LOVE THAT!
Shirley Cotton says
I need help also
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I hope this series is helpful to you!
Adrian says
I am an organizing blogger too, but right now I’d be terribly embarrassed for someone to see my home and how cluttered it is. When you get busy, it is easy for the clutter to just keep up on you. I was packing for a camping trip this weekend and while I was digging around to find our sleeping bags and other items, it was surprising how much clutter I was tripping over. Time to set up a Saturday and have a big “attack the clutter” party. I’m sure I can get at least 5 or 6 bags of stuff out of my house! #SITSSharefest
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck, Adrian! Isn’t is shocking how quickly it builds up?!
Connie says
check out BUY NOTHING,, it is world wide and a life saver,, declutter and feel great about it,,
Heather @To Sow a Seed says
God made decluttering easy for us: we moved twice, had two floods, and are moving to Nepal. 🙂 I cannot tell you how much I wish I had gone through this process five years ago. The freedom of less stuff is so, so worth the effort.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 lol. Yes, HE did! HE knows what we need, right? 🙂
Trine @ Creative Pink Butterfly says
I totally agree!
I know I have too much stuff and always try to get rid of a thing or two. (Throwing away one or two things often seam to work better for me that throwing a whole lot away at once)
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 exactly! Just a little at at time makes such a huge difference in the long run!
Alana Sullivan says
donate…..don’t throw it out if it is something someone can use……
Angie says
It makes me feel better grtting rid of useful stuff,if I know I don’t have to throw it away, but can donate it. This way someone canuse it and I am not filling the garbage dump.
Jessi Fearon (@TheBudgetMama) says
Thank you so much for this! I really needed this today. 🙂
Visiting from ABFOL!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!! 🙂
Gentle Joy says
Great encouragement to do the hard thing that we all tend to put off, but desperately NEED to do. 🙂 Thank you for posting this.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Good luck!
Ed says
I randomly clicked on two images that “spoke to me” at the http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/ link party and both times I landed at your blog!!
Wow, God does speak in amazing ways. Rirst it was at your post of teaching children to stop looking everywhere and look up and that was a direct message to me.
Secondly, of late He has been speaking to me about clutter and I must now schedule time not to try and organize clutter but to get rid of it.
Thank you for being faithful to your calling.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
OH- I”m so glad for that. He certainly knows exactly what we need. I’m so glad to have you here!
Kimberly says
Love your line, “YOU CAN NOT ORGANIZE CLUTTER – YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF IT.” Amen, sister! I recently “switched gears” (not opening a retail store I had hoped to), so I have a lot of extra stuff I won’t be needing. Sure, I love all of it…but wanting to keep it and having the space to keep it are two very different things. Time to do some sorting and selling. I’ll be watching your series with great interest. 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Awesome!! Good luck!!
Julie V. says
We own stuff, but our stuff shouldn’t own us.
Miss M says
Love this! Thanks for posting! I’m about to undergo a September purge – I want to get rid of 50 things!
Stopping by from army wife to suburban life linkup!
Denise @ Healthy Disney Family says
Great point – you can’t organize clutter!! We bought a new house recently. As I have been unpacking I’m realizing that some of the stuff I was saving for “someday” I probably won’t ever really use. Clutter is stressful, and trying to organize it is overwhelming. Thank you, the timing of this is perfect 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Yay!!! Good for you on getting started!
Fran says
Might not be the newest post but totally worth showing on the sayg’day link party. Reminded me of the need to dump not just move around. Fran @ travelgenee
Rachel G says
My husband and I just went through some major decluttering as we just moved overseas with only a few suitcases to our name–and yes, it’s very freeing indeed to not have so much stuff!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Congrats on your move!
Laura@Baking in Pyjamas says
Great tips! Thanks for linking up to Sweet and Savoury Sunday, stop by and link up again. Have a great day!!
Herchel S says
I struggle so hard with this and have been slowly working on it. It has to get to a really bad point before it start to really weigh me down! Thanks for a great post and linking up with Family Fun Friday!
Pria @ Termite Control Philippines says
You’re absolutely right to get rid of the clutter. My son’s quite a hoarder and I’m working on the 3 bag rule to declutter. Great way to condition mindset.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Yes!!
Ryan Scott says
Get rid of unused stuff. This will help you determine all stuff that you can still use and need to keep.
Rebecca says
God has blessed our home with seven boys. I used to be organized, but now I can’t seem to control the clutter! I know the clutter is causing stress and is making me feel overwhelmed. I’m too embarrassed to have people over, and I want to create a welcoming and peaceful home for our family. The problem is not my sons because they are learning from me. I was never taught how to declutter, so when I began having children, the clutter quickly became overwhelming. I didn’t know where to begin. I’ve been praying that I could get motivated and that God would show me where to find help. I am so excited to find you on Pinterest and look forward to learning! Thank you!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh yay!! You can do it (and your kids will learn from you & take it to their homes as they grow up) 🙂
Ruth Hardy says
After having counselling for years I realised I had Survivor Mentality and hoarded almost everything. I am trying to make everything transient. Having got rid of old technology, are tape and video cassettes ever going to come back into fashion? I have tackled my craft habit and my pencil collection-70 pencils are surely more than enough for one person, I have banned envelope and battery shopping. I have to tackle my clothes and work out what fits and suits. I make one trip to the tip / charity shop every week and must have the car packed to the hilt. I only accept things into the house if I do need it. If I already have one I give that away. One of my friends makes it the practice to give something away every day. I’m trying to do this too. Good luck everyone!
Alana Sullivan says
I love that idea….give something away every day.
Lorrin @ embracetheperfectmess.com says
I totally agree. I am not the most organized person, but I cannot stand clutter. On top of not being able to handle the clutter, I have found myself feeling like we’ve outgrown our house every time the clutter gets too bad. Drives me insane!
sbm says
de-cluttering is also about the mind. we must de-clutter our thoughts. get rid of the thoughts that disctrsct us from living free. lots of work, but it can be done! getting rid of things in the home is so important, too! love this post.
Pat says
My mother could get up, have her bed made, get breakfast, have a load of clothes wasing all in the morning,. My parents had five girls. I don’t know how Mom did it. Our house was never cluttered. Now Iam a grand parent myself, but have always struggled to keep our house from being cluttered. We were taught to save it you might need it. Iam sure my parents had stuff, but I don’t know where she put the clutter because I never saw any. Is there a gene Iam missing or something? HELP!
Iam drowning in clutter!
Laura says
I was raised by a hoarder, who was also raised by hoarders. I find that now I am raising a hoarder. It is a tough cycle to break!! I am trying tho! I am finding that I DO NEED HELP!! I read the self help books, articles on the internet, etc, but actually putting them to work for me is nearly impossible! I was TAUGHT, while innocently enough, to hold on to EVERYTHING!!! You’ll NEED it one day….
Well, I’ve found that partially true….but mostly UNTRUE!!
I NEED HELP!!!!
Any ideas??
Chris says
It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one, sigh. My mom and dad kept EVEYTHING. And now I’m.overwhelmed with STUFF.
Angie says
Once I got into the mindset that I am not throwing these USEFUL things out,but donating them to someone who has a USE for them, it allowed me to part with stuff without feeling guilty of getting rid of it.
sherry says
The older I get the less stuff I want. My husband, however, just keeps buying stuff at auctions. He recently renovated a garage into a place to put his treasures. At least now I can walk through the basement without taking my life in my hands! My delima now is that both my mother in law and my mother can no longer live alone and have moved into assisted living. How can I deal with two houses full of stuff without hurting their feelings?
Shirley Fraley says
Just do not tell them what you do with what is left – comment on the positives, not the negatives! I am 82 yrs. old and I would be delighted if I could just enjoy a few of my special treasures – wedo NOT need to be surrounded with stuff!
Clarissa says
I am also wanting less stuff, but my husband is a”collector” of hats, knives, shoes, books, rocks/ crystals, music -including memorabilia, toys. You get the idea. I’ve asked him to go through his side of the closet, which encroaches constantly on mine, and get rid of the clothing he’s not worn on the three years we’ve known each other. He won’t and he won’t let me either. I’d really appreciate suggestions for dealing with my husband’s hoarding. It’s a huge stressor for me.
Sarah says
I understand. I ended up giving my husband the entire closet for himself. It’s his space for his treasures and he’s happy. I got myself a really nice IKEA closet for me and I continue to declutter around the house, He is okay with me decluttering as long as I leave his man stuff in the closet alone. I can live with that. Lol
Stephanie says
Trying to learn decluttering
Eugene says
If you have clutter you are not organized, if you are organized you won’t have clutter.
Martha fraser says
I’ve started to tell myself that storing that object costs money for the square footage it all takes up
So then it doesn’t seem worth keeping it
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
True.
Jessica says
You may have written this some time ago now, but I’ve just found this post today. When I read your comment about having two crock pots for three years I smiled and nodded, knowing the feeling. We recently packed and moved and while my mother-in-law was helping me pack the kitchen I got down my crock pot box from the top of my cabinets (bc why throw away a perfectly good box? *rolls eyes since box went in the recycler after the move*) and it was heavy. I was like, “what on earth is in here?” I broke down in tears when I saw that my old crock pot was in there! Why had I kept it?! I didn’t even remember keeping it but knew immediately that I 100% must have thought, “oh, it might be good to have a back up one day…”
I come from a long line of clutter keepers. My husband and I spent many, many months cleaning out my grandparents house. The things they kept were unbelievable. And I see it in my dad too. My brother and I fight hard to not do the same thing.
Happy to have stumbled upon your site today. I have enjoyed reading some of your tips!
malika says
We have to be disciplined to free from clutter… If we can make the changes with us then the results will be surprising…
Aruba says
The moment I am reading this post, my son’s toys are decorating my room’s carpet. Huh! I need to get serious about my mental health.
Roxsanne Robertson says
I need help
Jennifer says
Hello
I just was looking for someone to help my mother. She lives in Orlando, FL and I’m in Texas. She has cancer and other health issues. She lives alone and it makes me so sad I can’t help her. I visit a couple years at a time and try to help her clean up her mess, but she fights with me about it. She has tripped and fallen over things and although it’s not as bad as some I’ve seen before, she just can’t seem to throw simple things away. She really doesn’t have the energy to clean up alot either. I know she needs help and she wants to declutter but I think it’s gonna take some professional help. Thank you for your time.
Mrs. Lain
Daven Tackett says
Oh, you are so right about clutter! I started a business helping young families decluttering as their children grow. We give our community a chance twice a year to bring their items to us and we sell them to other families. It allows us to reuse and recycle what was clutter to them and sell it at a fraction of the cost to a family who needs the items. I think it make sure to easier to part with things if you feel like you are getting them to someone who needs them. It is called Just Between Friends for more reference.
Christie says
Since becoming disabled 6 yrs ago, my house has gotten “beyond my control.” I have always kept a very clean, organized home so this clutter is new to me and it totally weighs me down every single day. I moved a lot in my life so there were plenty of opportunities to reduce the load. I have lived in THIS house for 18 years, the longest I have ever lived in one place and every corner is full! I’m not a hoarder and my kitchen is always clean but every nook or cranny has something stuffed in it. I hope this program works. I’m desperate!!
Jeanne Rainoldi says
Understand that it’s depression that causes the clutter in most cases. Depression comes first, followed unfortunately by low mood, low energy, and clutter. Then comes a vicious cycle. So if you are depressed, get help! Then your mood will improve and your energy will soar, and suddenly, no more clutter. Blessings!
Mel G says
How do you break yourself of being attached to items of your children? I can not physically or emotionally part with anything my little boys have used, worn, or made (ages 9 and 8). My stuff, I could probably get rid of most everything, but theirs is a different story. I’m a nervous type, a worrier unfortunately, and I know I have irrational fears at times. We’ve had 2 suicides in our family (very close to both) and both were male and each left behind a devastated (but strong) mother. I’ve never spoken to anyone about it, but I’m almost certain at least some of my issues stems from this because I was never like this before the first death. I know it’s not healthy for me, my little boys, or any of my family, but I have no idea how to overcome it…. I can assure you we don’t live in a “hoarder’s situation” because of limiting the stuff that makes its way into our home to begin with, but the holding on to everything once here is the problem….
Becky Mansfield says
I’m sorry- that is hard. I also struggle with getting rid of things. If it is meaningful, I just keep it, but if I have to really think about why we have it or when we got it, I get rid of it. For certain things, I’ve kept “memories” of them in a book: I have a book that is filled with pictures and notes. The picture is of the object that I want to remember and then the note beside it explains everything about it.
That might be helpful?
Carol says
I used to be the girl who had a super neat and super organised apartment, work-space and life.
That was in my 20s. Fast forward to career growth (increasing responsibilities), starting and growing a business, extensive travel, marriage and 3 children (2 teens and an 8 year old) and I have built up a mountain of clutter that I have been ‘to busy’ to attend to (read procrastination and a level of indiscipline!).
I can relate to the overwhelm, depression and God speaking to me (so many times!) to tend my home.
I am finally listening and starting (again!) to declutter TODAY for at least an hour a day.
The goal is minimalism where I keep only what I need, put things away daily and declutter every 6 months.
Looking to have gone through every item and every room by November or earlier.
Can’t wait to regain order, beauty and freedom in my work and living spaces!