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Why a Mom Tribe in Motherhood is important.
It was a Monday morning and I was making lunch for our daughter when the call came in from an old friend. Knowing that I would be distracted, I ignored the call and told myself that I’d call her back later when it was less busy. A week passed before I made that call. We talked about our kids and about the business and joy at this stage of motherhood. She knew just what I was going through and vice versa.
It reminded me of a time, many years ago, when I was a new mom. There were many moments when I would call a friend to complain about lack of sleep and hoped that when they answered, they would understand, maybe even relate to what I was going through. I remember thinking that I just wanted to talk to someone about the real issues, that felt so big to me at the time, like nursing, up-all-night-babies, diaper changes, etc.
I wanted to be able to talk to a mom who would say “it’s completely normal… don’t worry” and I knew they meant it so I could stop worrying and feel reassured. I wanted to talk to a friend who would say “I am going through the same thing!” and we could support one another through each obstacle of motherhood.
When I was a new mom, that’s when I started to find my real friends. My mom tribe. It was then that life took it upon itself to weed out the ‘acquaintances’ from the friends and I couldn’t be more grateful for the strong group of women I was left with. The ‘friends’ who weren’t truly friends became distant, but my dear friends remained the same. It’s my special group of friends that I like to call my Mom Tribe. The group of people who understand it all, because they’ve either been there, or there are there right now!
Do we talk weekly? No.
Do we talk monthly? No.
Does it matter? No, because through it all we still remain friends.
Of course, it doesn’t come without guilt! The guilt of knowing that I need to make more time for my friends or realizing that she has called three times and I haven’t called her back. The guilt when I send that text that says “I’ll call you tomorrow…” knowing all the while that it will actually be several days, because when tomorrow comes, I’m busier than I was today. But no matter the distance between us or the number of missed phone calls, my mom tribe is always there for me when I need them the most.
Life is busy for a mom and I’m sure you can relate. Soon, those weeks of not talking turn into months and it’s OK. Right now, it is OK. We are in the busy part of our lives, just trying to focus on raising our children to be the kind of adults we want them to be.
When I talk to my mom tribe about our son making a mess in the playroom, I have one friend that says “Mine, too!” and another that says “I remember those days. They go by too fast.”
They know what I know and have been through what I am going through and understand that right now it is hard to balance it all and that’s ok. Right now, it is hard to be the mom, the wife, the friend, the sister, the daughter, to be it all and to do it all well. It is hard to give yourself to everyone all of the time. Those who love you will understand, and they wait it out with you, because they know that soon enough this busy time will end… and they will be there because you’ll need them more than ever before.
Yes, these are the days where I know that my friendships are valuable. The women who sat at this table with me are the ones with whom I can be myself and know that they are there to support me just as I am there for them. These are the friends who text on a Monday and don’t hear back until Friday but remain constant. They give me advice and they encourage me on the daily.
A Mom Tribe is more than just finding a group of women… it’s knowing that you have a group of friends that are there through it all.
I am one of those blessed women who has two Mom Tribes. I have my local friends & my childhood friends, and then I also have a group of friends that I met through blogging. This group of women, this Mom Tribe, is so empowering and supportive. We meet up once a year to reconnect, because we all understand how life gets in the way of friendship… and we all know that is how it should be. Our solution is to find a week to connect and just catch up on each other’s lives. We live many, many miles apart (even countries apart), but that’s the beautiful thing about a Mom Tribe – they don’t have to be close in proximity to be CLOSE in your heart.
This year, I wanted to thank them in my own way so I traveled 400 miles to see them for our week meet-up! I wanted to make sure they felt and understand my sincere gratitude for their friendship, so I came prepared with merci Chocolates. We went to a beautiful outdoor restaurant for lunch and I surprised them with the delicious, thoughtful chocolates as my way to show how much I appreciate them.
What says, “Thank You” more than a chocolate named “merci”, which literally means thank you? What says “I adore you” more than heartfelt gift that truly speaks for itself?
I read that merci is the number one chocolate brand most recognized as Europe’s famous gift giving chocolate. Today, more than 100 countries show thanks by giving merci chocolates, so I knew that I wanted to share this delicious token of appreciation with my Mom Tribe to show them my love and appreciation.
I picked some up at the grocery store near me and took each of my friends a 7-ounce box of chocolate… each box filled with a variety of tasty flavors such as Coffee and Cream, Hazelnut Almond, Dark Mousse and Praline Creme. Not only was it fun to see the smiles of surprise on their faces, but it was also a joy to share in a week of laughter, stories and chocolate with them. 🙂
We all know that motherhood comes with tremendous joys and everyday struggles, but through it all one thing remains true – motherhood is a journey you do not have to travel alone. And thanks to my Mom Tribe, I have a constant support system unlike any other.