I read a study the other day that was pretty powerful. It just supported what I already knew… that vacations were better than gifts. Experiences better than toys.
There is a reason that our kids long for the beach like I do… and it’s not because we love the beach. It is because we love our time together. They love going biking with me early in the morning. They love building sand forts with my husband. They want to take a walk down to the lighthouse, “just the two of us” because these things create bonds with our kids… unbreakable bonds that only come from spending time together.
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My husband and his family camped, a lot, when he was a child. He loved camping. He loved everything about it: playing cards with his family, cooking over a campfire, exploring the area.
My family went to the beach a few times a year. I love the beach. I love riding bikes, looking out onto the water, running on the beach (even though I loathe running), finding shells with our kids, finding coral that we can bring home to save as a reminder.
It doesn’t matter where you are going as long as you make it a fun, memorable experience. You can do that by being involved with your kids. Finding fun things to do, new exciting things to show them and creating a bond that will last a lifetime. Be present in the moment.
“Family holidays are valued by children, both in the moment and for long afterward in their memory,” psychologist and best-selling author Oliver James explained to The Telegraph. “It’s all about talking nonsense with your parents, sharing an ice cream and moments of time in which your interests are genuinely taken into account. So if you’re going to spend money on something, it’s pretty clear which option makes more sense.”
And get this: Traveling with your kids can also be beneficial to their brain development. “An enriched environment offers new experiences that are strong in combined social, physical, cognitive, and sensory interaction,” says child psychotherapist Dr. Margot Sunderland. “Think: family together in the pool, walking together through the forest, touching long tall grasses waving in the wind, toasting marshmallows on campfire, hanging out together under warm sun, feeling sand between the toes.
Research, of course, repeatedly indicates that, despite the fact that we go on buying more stuff, adults really regard experiences like travel as far more fulfilling. Children, says James, are no different. It’s just that they value different aspects of that travel. ~telegraph.co.uk
He goes onto say: “Dad or Mum, building sandcastles, playing badminton on the beach, jumping over waves. It seems like fun, but it’s also “attachment play”, and it’s vital for bonding. Attachment play also enhances self-esteem, sending a child the psychological message: “You have my full attention. I delight in you. I delight in being with you.”
You know, the toys that we give them are exciting and fun… the video games keep the busy. New movies will occupy their time, but you child will never remember their favorite day of TV.
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Lorrin @ embracetheperfectmess.com says
Agree x 1000!! Vacation is one thing we always make a priority, even if we aren’t going far or on a very extravagant vacation, we make it a point to go. Every year! Great post!
Angela Fry says
This is great! We just planned our 2nd beach vacation with our 4 year old triplets. The last time we were at the beach they were just 2.5 and didn’t really enjoy it. I’m hoping they do this year. They are super excited!
Lisa Kennedy says
Hi Becky,
Great article! I’m going to take the one week challenge! Thank you so much!
Lisa K.
Doug Atkins says
I so much agree with you, Becky. Vacations are especially important for families of children with special needs.
Betty Moyers says
Loved your article and it is so true! I was a single mom for most of my daughter’s life and our summer vacation to the beach was always a priority. I could not always afford it and many times let other things go to do it, but I never regretted it. My daughter would always remember our time together, and that was a lot more important than everything being paid on time. She would not remember that.
My daughter is now forty and we still take our beach vacation together every year. It is something I look forward to and enjoy more than anything. A whole week just the two of us! She still talks about all the past vacations we shared and the times we made wonderful memories!
Jennie says
Great post! And I love the ideas on the calendar. Watching home movies together is one of my favorites!
Patti Phillips says
This post provides an opportunity to re-define toys. Most of the activities described in the post include toys, by my definition. Bikes, badminton racquets, the kite in the picture, tools to build sandcastles, camping equipment, cards.
I think the important message is to engage with your family, whether it’s on vacation or not. Use the toys and games you have ready access to everyday so you don’t have to wait for a vacation, that at best happens monthly.
Scott storm says
Couldn’t agree more, we have already gone to Disney for Christmas instead of buying more toys. Toys that seem to have lost all their parts after a week or two anyways. I urge other families to try this.
Dailyn says
Great article ! Totally agree . Family time and memories is the most important thing to cherish !!
Jessi says
Love, love, love! There’s something about family vacationing that makes us more attentive parents as well. When we’re at home and I’ve got my to-do list running, I don’t play like I do when I’m unplugged and adventuring with my kids. We’ve always given special child-chosen outings as gifts rather than toys and we’ll keep doing it!
LUCIE says
A very healthy vision. Thank you for that !
Corinna @ The Mommy Clause says
I love this and agree wholeheartedly! Things get lost, broken, and forgotten. But the memories we make when we explore together can last a lifetime!
Kris says
We asked our kids who are 19,15 and 10 what their favorite gift from Christmas 2013 is and neither could remember a single gift. This year we took them on a family vacation to south-east Asia and they didn’t receive any presents under the tree. The children asked my wife and I where are we going next year?
Anke says
Agree totally! I’m curious which study this was, where can I find it?
Susan Trani says
This is so true! Our kids will “never remember their favourite day of TV”. We love travelling with our daughter and love making fun and exciting memories with her. Even at such a young age, she can still recall the adventures we’ve had.
Anke says
I agree 100%
Where can I find the study you read? It would be interesting to share that with my readers. I have a blog about family travel.
Becki Svare says
I completely agree with this!! Great article!
Melissa says
100% agree. I remember my family vacations as a child and they are some of the best memories. I am making them with my family now!
Michelle says
Yes! Totally agree with you and thanks for the reminder. Sometimes daily life – school, work, homework, etc. – gets in the way of what is really important. Today I am going to play outside with my boys.
Cassie says
I agree. Toys are totally overrated, and they just mess up the house! I do think, though, that we need to make sure we are not thinking we have to go on some crazy, exotic, expensive vacation to give our kids experiences, especially for those who truly can’t afford it. When I was young, my parents rarely took us on fancy vacations, but we did a lot of day trips on Saturdays and holidays to places around where we lived. I LOVED it! Those memories are priceless to me, and now I try to do the same for my kids, just taking them to places for a day or even half a day just exploring our area. So people should not stress if they truly don’t have the money to go on expensive trips! Just do fun stuff with your kids, and they will create those same memories.
Jo-Ann Fury says
Hi Becky, I’m a Mimi now to 6 beautiful grandbabies. We travel as a big family to the beach. Talk of the things we did, and when is it ” beach time” again, make for wonderful conversation. The beach began when my children were very young and they continue to visit the same beach with their families, even though what used to be a 3 1/2 hour drive when we lived in NC now is a 13 hour drive from NY. When the beach calls…
Jen Reyneri says
AMEN! THIS… it’s why I founded my site. To inspire, encourage and equip families to build memories, not collect memorabilia! YES!
Beata says
Hi Becky,
thank you for the above text. It reminds us what the most important things in our family life are. Spending time together, bonding, sharing emotions, listening to each other, laughing during common activities on sunny days. Toys are important as they may help children to develop certain skills, but even the most expensive ones will not provide children with all they really need i.e. love, our attention and time spent together.
I remember my holidays. We used to spend them with my parents and sister at the seaside every year, swimming, making sand castles, playing board games, hide and seek in the forest, climbing trees, cycling, sailing, watching the beautiful nature and farm animals, admiring the wonderful sunsets together far away from the high pace and noise of the city. Now, being a mum, I go to the beach again and again with my family to let them feel well and happy together as I used to. Of course, nowadays, as the world is changing there are more and more entertainments and distractions on the way, but still, it is all about spending wonderful time together with no rush, being able to strengthen our relationships and feeling that magic moments with the most important people to us.
Many thanks & take care 🙂
Danielle - The Domestic Four says
1000% agree! I’ve only recently learned that kids need far fewer ‘things’ than I ever imagined but they need an incredible amount of our time. I’m thrilled to make the stuff for time trade and relish in our weeks at the beach and in Disney World. They are precious moments that we treasure as a busy growing family.
Linda says
Nice sharing 😍😍😍😍😍