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Last week, I shared a post about raising our sons and I wrote “Teaching our sons to be gentlemen” to which I saw MANY comments that said “Why does it have to be sons? Why can’t it be “teaching our sons & daughters” or “Why did you put teaching young kids to be kind?” (ps- yes I already have that post, too!)
I was disappointed for two reasons:
1-That they didn’t take the time to even read it before commenting.
2- That they weren’t open minded enough to understand how wonderful it is to be happy with your gender and embrace it fully.
I have always been the kind of girl that loved to fix my hair, put on makeup, play dress up… but at the same time, I love to run my business from home, workout every day and look at cars with our sons (mostly to make them happy).
It is OK to have things “just for boys” and “just for girls” … and here is why:
In 2015, why is it that when I post something about “for boys” or “for girls”, I am asked “Why does it have to be gender specific?” Well- because we have BOYS and we have GIRLS and they are different. THEY. ARE. DIFFERENT.
I feel like I am missing something. I WANT our boys to do boy things and our girls to do girl things. (Women are amazing- I mean, we can actually give birth to another human being! So- just because I didn’t play football and had no interest in it at all, does not mean that I couldn’t do something just as strong. I did play rugby, in college, by the way… On a GIRLS team. I ran, with the boys, for track. I play tennis, next to boys and girls.) Why would I feel the need to prove it by being unfeminine? I don’t have to. I can be strong and still want to dress up in my favorite heels.
Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest if one of our kids does something that the other gender wants to do. I could care less if our son carries around a baby or if our daughter plays with trucks, because it happens in our house. However, I would also love our daughter to do ballet and our son to play baseball… because it would make them happy.
We can have gender specific things, even if it is 2015… It doesn’t put us back 50 years.
I want our daughter’s boyfriend to open the car door for her.
I want our three sons’ to use their money to pay for their dates (like my husband did when we were dating).
I want my husband to continue helping me down icy stairs.
I like packing lunches for our kids and putting a little note in there as a surprise.
I enjoy being a stay at home mom, even if it is “old-fashioned”.
I want our sons to protect their wives.
I want our daughter to have someone that is going to protect her, too. (I am only 4’11, so I don’t see her being much taller!)
I want our daughter to know that she can also protect herself, but that it is nice to know that someone else is watching out for you.
I want to know that every day, someone is going to tell our daughter that she is beautiful, inside & out.
I want to know that every day, someone is going to tell our sons that they are handsome, inside & out.
I just don’t understand why, just because it is 2015, we want to go to the extreme so much, as to asking why I would write “for boys”.
Do they think that if we are the ones that cook dinner, we can’t also be the ones to take care of finances? (because I do both)
Do they think that if I let him open the door for me, I am letting him take control of my life? (because I’m not).
Do they think that if our daughter does dance and plays dress-up, she is any less-likely to be able to run a successful corporation one day? (because she’s not).
Do they think that if I encourage football for our sons, they are any less likely to be a caring father or husband? (because they aren’t).
So… If I share a funny joke here on yourmodernfamily that “boys will love” it is because OUR BOYS LOVE THEM. If I share something great that would be “awesome for little girls” it is because my daughter and nieces LOVE THEM! I’m not saying that it is “only for boys” or “only for girls”. I am saying that I created it with them in mind, because they are different. Wonderfully made in their own uniqueness.
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