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Parenting tweens and teens is a whole new experience and it seems this time arrives in a whirlwind.
Do you have teenagers in your house or an almost teenager? They are truly a breed all their own. There are moments, as a mom, when I find myself wondering which direction to steer. It is in the moments when I realize that in a few short years these teenagers will be making their own choices and decisions. That is a tough reality for sure! So, in this time I have to take value with discussing some of the most important topics with my children so that I am reassured of the integrity of their later decision making abilities.
On top of that, thinking back to being a teen myself, it was by far a rough road. A true fight for independence in a world that I did not understand. A need for belonging, self image, friendship, and morale. (And I don’t even think the tween stage was acknowledged in the 70’s and 80’s.) The tween/teen years were also a time for exploring my own capabilities and considering capabilities of some of my friends.
Peer pressure was certainly something plaguing my entire existence as a teen and I am sure many of you can relate. Peer pressure is such a common thing that children face. As a mom, understanding the influences surrounding childhood in these trying times are so important. Dancing around topics, or just thinking that your kids are not easily influenced is a denial of many moms.
We must talk to our kids.
We must be positive role models.
We must listen to our kids and focus.
It is up to us to provide a solid foundation for our children to grow, learn, and express so that peer pressures are handled accordingly.
Here are some ways to help your tween and teen with peer pressure. Parents and kids will both benefit from these!
9 Tips for Fighting Peer Pressure with Tweens and Teens
1. Talk to your kids about the meaning of peer pressure. You may have a teen or tween that is just not familiar of what peer pressure is. Let them know that peer pressure can be a manipulation… even by what we consider to be close friends. Teach your child to respect other’s decisions, but its best to teach them to make the right decisions for them. You don’t have to think and act like everyone else to stand out.
2. Be an active listener. Do you ever stop to think about the way that you listen to your teen? Teenagers want to be heard and in this aspect when it comes to talking to them about the pressures they face just be quiet and listen with interjection.
3. Find ways to strengthen your bond. If you maintain a close relationship with your child they may be more apt to discuss peer pressure and other things openly with you. You can start this now even with children who are not teens.
4. Stay calm and don’t overreact! The first thing your child is going to do if you jump to conclusions or get upset is shut down and cease communication. Let’s face it as our children grow older they are going to talk about things that we may not like to hear. Stay calm and find a center to stay focused on the needs of your child in the conversation.
5. Be careful with self image comments. At this point in your child’s life image may be everything. Whether it is a hairstyle or a favorite pair of pants they want to wear everyday it is important to be encouraging in a positive way. Pick your battles and promote things like good hygiene and don’t sweat the small stuff that may involve a very eclectic sense of style.
6. Encourage good decision making skills. This is perfect not just for the inevitable peer pressures but in general. Your child needs to be reassured that their well-being is far more important than what others think they should be doing or thinking. When faced with peer pressures your children need to be taught that they can trust their instincts.
7. Know who your child is friends with. This is highly important. Knowing who your child’s friends are will reassure you what type of people they are hanging out with.
8. Teach your child how to respond to peer pressure. Peer pressure is going to happen and it does in many forms. Teach your child how to respond delicately. It is ok to avoid conflict and express that you disagree.
9. Set boundaries with your child. It is so important for your child to understand his or her expectations and boundaries. If limits are put into place it is likely that your child will respect these things especially when they are tested by peer pressure.
How are you helping your tween or teen handle peer pressure? Share your thoughts.
More on Raising Tweens and Teens:
Tips for Monitoring Your Teens Social Media
5 Ways to Improve Communication with Your Teen
How to Connect with Your Middle Schooler
Crystal is a homeschool mom to a houseful of boys! She love running the Dallas mom blog Crystal & Co., where she has been sharing mommy resources and solutions since 2008.
