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Last night I was thinking about a conversation that I had with our son a few months back.  I had to tell you what happened because it made me realize how everything we say, or don’t say, to our kids makes a difference.

It was on a night when Ethan (our youngest son) had Parkour Practice (think “American Ninja Warrior”) and I took him to it alone. Mickey was home with the other kids, helping with homework (math is not my forte), so it gave E and I some time for just the two of us.


When practice ended and we were driving home, we were talking and I said: “E? I just wanted to tell you that I love you more than anything in the whole world.” (honestly, I tell each of our kids this A LOT, so that didn’t surprise him).
He said, “I love you like that too, Mom.”
I replied “I know you do. Do you know what else? I think that God knew just what he was doing when he put us together.”
His next words are what surprised me because I guess that I didn’t realize that he was really thinking about what I was saying. It wasn’t just words to him. He was feeling what I was saying.

“Mom? Do you think God said ‘I have the perfect boy for Becky. They will love each other a lot. She will always be happy when she looks at him.’”


Now, I can tell you, in all honesty, and transparency, that Ethan’s temperament has caused my patience to be tested more than once.

He has CENTRAL Sleep Apnea (his brain tells his body that he is suffocating when he sleeps, so it wakes him up as soon as he falls asleep).  It is very rare and unlike regular sleep apnea that is caused by a blockage, this is related to. the brain and often the heart. It took us several years to figure it out.

He literally woke up 8 times an hour for years (He woke up an average of 96 times most nights)- although I didn’t know because he never woke up fully… just enough to get out of that sleep cycle.  It made him pretty grumpy on a lot of those days.

His mood was actually the reason that I had taken him to see a pediatric neurologist.   He was grumpy more often than I thought he should be, so I thought maybe something was going on, something that wasn’t plain to see.

They sent us to have a sleep study done and we figured it out.   Getting him that sleep study test was the best thing we could have done.  I thought that it was behavior-related or maybe even ADHD. 
It took years to figure out what was wrong, and then many months of trial & error with the C-PAP machine to help him.  Once we were able to, he was back to his sweet self.  We had missed that side of him. ♥

It was an amazing transformation and I’m shocked at how much his lack of sleep truly impacted his personality, but I’ll write more on that another day. ♥

So, back to the story….

When he said that I am happy every time that I look at him, it was like he was saying “I love you no matter what, Mom, because I know that you love me and I know that being with me makes you happy and THAT is what matters. You aren’t perfect and I love you still.”


So I guess that I wanted to write to you to tell you this today because it reminded me that what matters isn’t that you did XY&Z today. What matters is that you loved your family today.

Maybe you show your love by playing with your kids.
Maybe you show it by taking care of the house. Maybe you show it by being silly with them or by being nurturing to them.
However, you show your love to them, know that they can feel it, see it or hear it. Know that they don’t care if you mess up from time to time because you are human, too.
They are learning that love conquers all and they learn it by the way that you look at them, talk to them and enjoy being with them.

We are all learning together and sometimes our kids just know better than us. I guess we can learn a thing or two from our kids. 😉

You’re welcome to download my FREE Activities printable:  I’ll send you the calendar & some tips via e-mail.

A close up of a calendar on a white background.
Ps- If you want to create a home that your children want to come home to, I’d love to introduce you to the Parenting Manual 101. I couldn’t love it more.

Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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  1. Hi,Becky I am in serious need of your help ? I am under a deep depression I need your help in a deadly manner but financially I can’t afford so please could you help me get back my family from this cluttered house & their depressed Mom.I have two son’s(12&9).so, please I wait for your email…I hope waiting for a new start…