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I wanted to share these smartest marriage tips because having a strong marriage can sound a little overwhelming at times… especially when you add kids to the mix.  However, building a stronger marriage is not as hard as you think, when you really think about these tips. With some intention and determination, you can have a stronger marriage.

 smartest marriage tips from couples married 10+ years

While there are countless tips for having a strong marriage, these are five tips that will help you start cultivating a stronger marriage.

1. Be quick to say “I’m sorry”.
It can be so easy to be stubborn in a marriage and refuse to apologize first, even when you know that you really are in the wrong. However, the longer you hold your ground, the harder it can be to move forward.  Many times the fights are over small things or both parties have shared in the wrong doings, but since no one apologizes, it turns into a big thing. While it can be hard to be the one to take the first step, it is the way to get on the road to repair.  Stop keeping score, stop worrying about your pride & just say “I’m sorry”.

2. Be the positive voice. No matter what, make a decision to only speak positive things about your spouse- especially in front of each other. It is amazing the power that our words have. With just one sentence, you can tear down your spouse.  I heard a tip once that anytime you speak highly of your spouse to someone else, when your spouse isn’t around, it will always get back to them.  So… I say do it & do it often.  I’m pretty sure I’d be happy to hear that Mickey was talking kindly about me even when I wasn’t there to hear it. 🙂

3. Be honest with each other. Many times, the path to divorce is a slow fade. It starts with keeping a small secret and over time, the line gets less clear.  Even though honesty may be hard at times, it always is good in the end.   My very close friend said that she & her husband are always very honest, even down to saying “I think ____ is attractive, so I am going to stop staying late at work when only ____ is there.  It is a dangerous situation.”    When she first told me this, I was surprised to hear that they tell each other things like this, thinking that it might hurt the listener’s feelings, but honestly, it is so smart.   You are, in turn, holding each other accountable and trusting in your love so much that you are laying all cards on the table.

4.  Be intentional. Set date nights on the calendar and protect this time. Get creative with dates- in home dates can be a lot of fun and cheaper! Find little ways to connect over the week. Sometimes we can overthink marriage and expect it to be full of non-stop grand romantic events, when true love is seen in the daily acts of love. Learn how to speak your spouse’s love language and put it into act!
In our house, Mickey and I can’t wait for the evening to come, because we usually have some show lined up on Netflix and we can’t wait to see what is going to happen next.   Our rule: never watch an episode alone. 😉   Really though… this is a great way for us to have something that we can talk about, look forward to and enjoy together.

5. Be protective of your marriage. Friendships should not come before your spouse and neither should your kids. (That’s a hard one to swallow).  It is so easy to get consumed with being a mom or a dad, but one day these little ones will be grown up. They will leave you and your spouse and at that point, do you want to be strangers or closer than ever?
My grandmother once said “When your kids grow up & move out of the house, you are still there with your husband.”   Those words are so true- protect that marriage so that in years to come, when your children are grown, you will have a strong marriage.

Having a strong marriage takes hard work, grace, and focus, but it can be done. Marriage is still worth protecting and it can be a beautiful love story over the years. Will you be the ones who choose to fight for your marriage?

If you are struggling in your marriage- I have heard great things about this coaching session.  Now, I haven’t taken it myself, but a friend of mine said that it saved her marriage. 

Download these free Marriage Rules to keep as a little reminder.



Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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  1. Wow, really interesting. I think these are all great tips, the honestly on number 4 I think it’s a great tip but the hardest to practice. In the sense of telling your husband or wife you’re attracted to someone ender and could possibly cheat on them. I think that would break my heart if my husband told me that, I’d like to think I’m very honest and could handle that; however I don’t know! Thanks again, love your blog. Found you on pinterest.

  2. I loved your post so much I became a fan of you, promise that you will continue to share such good and knowledgeable posts even further, we will be waiting for your post thank you