My husband and I are celebrating 10 year together, so in honor of that, I want to do a mini-marriage series. When I was engaged, my mom asked the women in my life to write out advice for me. It is advice that I still cherish today. I am going to take the next few days to share these letters with you. If you missed Day 1- Giving (written by my Aunt), you can start there. When you are ready, head back here for Day 2. Today is Day 2… Forgiveness: This is the letter written by my Mom (you can read more about her here). She and my Dad have a very strong marriage. They are role models for my husband and myself. If we can be as happy as they are after 30 years, we have done something right. Dear Becky, I chose to talk to you about the importance of FORGIVENESS in a marriage. Many people, myself included, have a tendency to bring up past hurt in present situations. In my heart, even though I always knew that to forgive & forget was the way to peace and happiness, it was always very hard to do. I guess I want to tell you that like all married couples you are not marrying a perfect person, but neither is your husband-to-be. You need to remember that we all have many faults and will make many mistakes in our lives- some of which will hurt one another. But, by forgiving, we can move past that situation, learn from it and hopefully prevent the same mistakes from happening again. Some important things to remember about forgiving… No relationship can be sustained over a long period of time without forgiveness. If forgiving is not an ingredient in your marriage, the hurt will eat at the marriage and weaken it dramatically. Be open- discuss what has happened, no matter how big or how small, and then move past the situation. Make a conscious decision to forgive- don’t just say “OK” and then still feel the anger. Don’t throw the mistake back at your husband at a later date. Don’t use it as ammunition in an argument. Choose to Forgive. Don’t seek revenge- it will only extend the pain. Try to understand why the mistake was made so you both can work to prevent a reoccurrence. By forgiving, it doesn’t meant you condone what happened, only that you are willing to forgive. Be patient. Being able to forgive takes time. You already have the best base for a marriage- each other. ps- My #1 tip for a happy marriage
Real women share real advice for real (strong) marriages : Day 2- Forgiveness in a marriage
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