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Today I was asked (in an e-mail from a reader) what she can do to help her child.  She described him as angry and “not in control of his emotions”… so I wanted to help.  If your child has a behavior that needs changing, today’s post is for you… (and so is this behavior quiz  would be the PERFECT place to start, for anyone trying to change negative behaviors)

A young boy in a blue shirt rubbing his eyes with his hands with a grown up behind him.
Most of you know that I was an elementary teacher and now I am a play therapist (child development therapist).  Today I want to talk to those of you that feel like you are struggling with your child’s behavior because we’ve all been there.

Sometimes it can feel overwhelming trying to understand what’s really going on behind your child’s behaviors.   It can even feel like your child ALWAYS cries, or NEVER calms down on their own.  You might feel like there is no end to the behavior.

Maybe your child  You can cry over the smallest things or shouts  “GO AWAY”,  or yells around others, plays rough with others or speaks negatively about themselves.  It is so important to get to the bottom of the behavior that is the most trouble for you and your child.  You might feel alone…

You are not alone. The good news is that finding answers can be a lot easier than you think.  As parents and educators, we have this desire to change ALL of the behaviors at once, leaving us feeling like nothing is working at all.

However, I have a secret for you…
You can only change one behavior at a time
.  Despite what we want to happen, change does not happen overnight, nor does it happen all at once.

By focusing on just one behavior you can learn exactly what is causing your child’s behaviors – what revs them up, what calms them down, what helps them focus, and what makes them feel overwhelmed. Better yet, you can help your child notice these behaviors and regulate on their own.

The thing is, there is usually a pattern and we want to help you figure it out.   You can grab this sheet (below) by clicking this link. 

only change one behavior at a time

The key to understanding and changing your child’s worries is observing & documenting their behaviors.   This is true with almost anything… if you want to find the WHY, you need to observe & document.   That’s how you can help make the change.  It starts with the WHY. 

Once you are able to see the triggers and causes, you will be equipped to teach your child what sets them off, so they can start to take ownership over their own regulation and ultimately have a life-long skill that will help them be successful and happy in the future.
Start the Quiz here:
Behavior report (how to change the behavior)

Remember, one day at a time… we’re here for you.   You can reach your child, change the behavior and help your child be the kind of child that he/she wants to be… HAPPY. 🙂

You might like this: 

PS- If you want to sign up for my free one-on-one time course & get this calendar, you are welcome to it!  Click here. 

A close up of a calendar on a white background.

Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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  1. Great article! But once we notice and observe the behaviour how do we go about changing it for the better?

    1. If you signed up for that printable sheet, she is going to email you over the next few days with ideas. 🙂

  2. You should make this into sn app for Smart phones.
    So you’re able to type in the child’s behavior then it’ll tell you why the child is acting this way and then ways to help. Also collecting data on behaviour patterns that you fill in and the triggers.
    You’d make millions, it’ll basically be a hand guide for parents.. Something that we haven’t had before.