Charity Begins at Home

If you are a mom who feels like you’ve said yes to everyone but yourself, please remember this: Charity Begins At Home. If you need a “reason” to say no, fall back on those words.

I saw a post in my Facebook feed the other day. It wasn’t flashy or profound, but it struck a chord about intentional living: “In prayerful review of my life right now, I’m reevaluating the commitments I’ve said yes to, because I’m realizing every yes outside of home is a no to my family.”

The likes and comments poured in—because we all know her. She’s your mother, your sister, your best friend.

She’s you.

She’s me.

She’s the person we swore we wouldn’t become, yet somehow, here we are.

All I could hear were the words my mom told me as a child—and still tells me now: “Share your wealth. Share your time. Share your God-given talents. Help where you can, but remember—first and foremost—charity begins at home.”

It’s okay to say no to that bake sale if it means you and your son will get that much-needed playdate at the park. It’s okay to decline more responsibility if it gives you space to prep dinners and lowers the stress of the week.

Please understand me, I’m not encouraging you to quit volunteering on the PTO or to stop teaching your beloved 4-year-old Sunday School class.

I promise, I’m not.

Without the support of millions of selfless volunteers, much of our society would honestly crumble. Our world runs on the generosity of selfless volunteers.

But believe me when I tell you that for every event you organize and orchestrate for someone else, it represents countless hours you won’t have with your family and added stress and overwhelm that follows you home, infiltrating the time you do have with them.

Saying No Is Counter To Our Culture

It’s hard to say no.  We want to say yes.  And—there are many times when yes is the right answer, even when it is hard.

But saying yes without considering the impact every “yes” will have on you and your time is setting you up for several things, mainly burnout and resentment.

In our society, there is this twisted sense that busyness equals importance, that being stressed and short on time means you are somehow giving of yourself in a way others can’t.

So, in the worst way, we are the most validated when we are the most scheduled, the most busy, the most unhappy. Thus begins a relentless cycle, unless we have boundaries on our time, our mom life, and prioritize our family-first mindset.

I urge you today to consider those words: Charity begins at home.

Really look at the areas, values, and causes in your life that mean the most to you. The ones you hold close to your heart.

Find meaningful ways to help, in the season of life you are in. Time management for moms is a real thing, and you can’t be everywhere at once… and it is hard to give everything outside of the home and still have more to give when you get home.

For example, if you can’t hold a position on the PTO in this season of life, offer to chaperone, send supplies (fulfill a wish-list item), or encourage your child’s learning every day.

Please don’t stop doing, don’t stop giving, don’t stop sharing your time and talents with others —just make sure there is joy and happiness left for you and your family at the end of the day.



– Hillary Cole