I wrote this post a few years ago, Why I Still Carry My Kids, but it still is close to my heart, so I wanted to share it again today. A good reminder for myself & hopefully others. 🙂
I see you looking my way – when I hold my 7-year-old, my 5-year-old, my 3-year-old in my arms. I want to tell you something: my 9-year-old doesn’t fit there anymore… and that is why I still carry my kids.
It was last year that I carried him last. Last year that he was too tall to be carried. He is almost the same height as me now (I’m 4’11) and I remember when I tried to pick him up to carry him down the hall and I couldn’t do it. He has tall and heavier than I had remembered. When did this happen? When did he grow so much? Get so big? So old?
Last year, my seven-year-old got hurt on the soccer field and I went out and carried him back to the stands. My husband, who was also his coach said “Babe? Why did you carry him? He was OK to walk.”
I replied “Do you know how many of those people cared that I carried him? ONE. One person cared… Beau, our son.” He was the one that cared. He was the one that felt safe, loved, taken care of by his mom. It didn’t matter if the people in the stand cared because they weren’t my kids.
This year, Ethan, 5, was tired and when I told him that I would carry him, he said, “I think I’m too old now.” I told him that you will never be too old for your Mom to carry you. Too big, perhaps, but never too old.
When Allie, 3, wants to be carried, I pick her up. I joke with people that she lives on my hip. She won’t be this way for long. She is all about her mom right now and wants me to pick her up constantly. I love how she runs to greet me and jumps into my arms because I know that this ends. I know that they go from jumping into your arms to an “Oh, Hi, Mom.” in just a few short years. Yes, I’ll carry her… as long as she will let me.
I remember that in all of the things that we do, they end. My parents don’t tuck me into bed anymore, they don’t read me books anymore, they don’t tie my shoes anymore, they don’t help me ride a bike or read a book or do my homework. No… I’ve grown up. So will our kids. Soon, I won’t be doing those things for them. If I can just remember that this will not last long, I am more likely to enjoy it – every second of it.
Next week could be the last time that I carry Beau, our 7-year-old, up the stairs, or the last time that I carry Ethan, 5, to bed, or the last time that Allie, 3, wants to be carried through the grocery store.
Today isn’t that day… today I still carry my kids and I don’t care who knows it.
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Amanda says
Amen Mama Becky !! My husband always says E is going to be 4 soon, why are you still carrying him around… I don’t think he gets this… And the laying with him at night… he gets mad because it might become a “habit.” I’m trying to build a business and raise my son, but my son comes first My husband knows I should go to my office and start working so I can get done before 3 am, but my son will remember if I chose my office over him… This post almost brought me to tear.. {good ones} But they do grow up too fast too!! And I feel like I’m rambling but you get it !
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thanks, Amanda! 🙂 You are so sweet!
Mary Jo says
I’m 62 and our 5 year old weighs 40 lbs…it’s getting harder for me to carry him upstairs to bed but I stil,try!
Leah says
Are you 6’2 or actually 62?
Simo says
Leah 62 lbs I think. Not the age.
nancy says
They are only little once, and when they get to big to carry, well you can still have them sit on your lap…you can still have that closeness..People used to laugh at me because I laid down with my kids until they were asleep..I didn’t care they were MY kids..because once they are grown, they are grown and it hard to get around all the work schedules in order to get them all at the table for holiday dinners..
Jackie says
Do you know, I’m 65 years old and I still remember my Mom laying beside me as I took my afternoon nap after kindergarten. She passed away when I was 33 and I still remember the wonderful smell of her laying there and the soft feel of her arm as I rested my hand on it as I fell asleep. I’ll never forget!
sol says
Hi, I’m a dad,my son is 5 , and I’ll carry him at the drop of a hat for the same reasons until i cannot carry him any more.. Loved this article.
Ruth says
This is do sweet to hear it from dads too!! Keep up the good work!
Kristina says
Weeping over here… I also have 4… ages 7, 5, 3, and 1. The thought of not being able to hold one of them is heartbreaking because it is an instant way to help, offer love. What you are writing about/validating/proposing here very much reminds me of prolonged nursing, which we know is recommended and beneficial. We should not wean them from being carried by their mothers until they and we are good and ready. I scratched my anxious 7 year old’s back while she fell asleep tonight…she gets anxiety before holidays and tomorrow is Halloween. You sound like a great Mom. Thank you and God bless you.
Christine @ Adventure, Baby! says
Yes!!! I carry my four year old everywhere and people give me the strangest looks. I don’t care. I love that she wants to be carried still and I love holding her in my arms. 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Exactly – and soon she won’t want to be carried anymore.
Durea Thrall says
This was so beautiful to read. I am all too familiar with how they grow up so fast. When my youngest son was 8, we decided we were not ready to not have children to “carry”. However after he was born I had my tubes tied. We were broken hearted. We decided to try and have them put together. It worked! When he was 12, we finally had another. 22 months later, another. My oldest is now 35 and my youngest is now 12. I look at her and remember starting my little family over at her age. Time goes so fast. Before you know it, they are too big to carry. It makes me sad, but the good news is that now we have 3 beautiful grand babies that I carry and cherish every minute of. Good for you!!!
Ronnie says
Becky,
This article of carring your children has blessed my heart. What you are (instilling) giving your children is far greater than people around you will ever know. Reminds me of the Lord Jesus. When we walk with him he carrys us? Becky, my thoughts , are you are a beleiver. Thanks for your article
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
That’s such a great comparison! (& yes, I most certainly am). 🙂
Christina @There's Just One Mommy says
Love this post!
I know I look ridiculous when I try to carry my 6 year-old (I’m just a little over 5 foot myself), but they grow up too fast. There will be a time he won’t want to even walk near my, let alone let me hold his hand or hug him in public. i plan to carry him as long as I can.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Agreed!
Sarah Hunter says
My daughter is 2, non mobile and non verbal. She looks more like a one year old, but I’ve still had remarks of, “If you didn’t carry her so much, she would walk.” if I didn’t carry her, she would never get anywhere except maybe across the floor from rolling. Do I get tired of it? Sure. We’re ordering her a wheel chair after Christmas. But will I ever stop holding her? Only when my body can’t anymore, just as what happened when you tried to carry your oldest. There’s nothing wrong with carrying your kids when you feel like it or they need you. Love your perspective. God bless 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I love what you wrote. I agree…
Nimisha says
Hi Sarah,
Ok, this is a first. I never comment on any site but something in ur comment made me do it. Have u heard of iahp.org. I have recently done a program with them named ‘what to do with your brain injured child’ I honestly do not knw what is the reason behind your daughter being non verbal and non mobile. However, if it has anything to do with brain injury, I am sure ‘IAHP’ can help. As a mother of a child who had major speech delay and many other sensory issues, I highly recommend them. They are based in Philadelphia. Contact them they can make your child mobile and verbal. I am not in any ways associated with them. I am just a mother who has seen tremendous changes in her son after I did this program with IAHP(institutes for attaining human potential) you can also read this book before you contact them: ‘What to do with your brain injured child’ . One last thing which I would like to tell u before I sign off and thats something that made me write this comment, DO NOT get ur daughter a wheel chair. Please..she will never TRY to be mobile. Pick her up, hug her, cuddle her, give her as much love possible but let her be on the floor and you be with her on the floor too.
Love from India x x
Nicole says
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! I work in special education and Sarah Hunter your daughter IS mobile! I truly believe a wheelchair will make her wheelchair reliant/dependent. I had a 5 year old at my school who had only ever rolled around or been carried but at 4 years of age he did learn to walk (not long before beginning school) he had other delays also, but it IS possible your daughter will walk in her own time. A wheelchair will not assist her to have the drive to walk/be mobile. I hope you are also seeking the assistance of an Occupational Therapist and other health professionals. Kind regards.
mac talavera says
my daughter will turns 4 on January and till now I’m still carrying every time she asked me too cause I find it sweet longing for my affection though my doctor advised me not to carry heavy things which I thought my daughter is an exception to that.
I’m suffering from back-pain and had some problem with it few years now even my doctor told me to stop pursuing running habit or anything related to it even my hubby keep on nagging me when he see me carrying our daughter cause he knew I will suffer back pain afterwards but those sweet adorable lovable voice saying “mum, please carry me to bed” was one f the sweetest thing I always heard so technically I don’t complain to my hubby now about my backpain to avoid arguments 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 I know.
That’s so funny that you don’t even say it anymore. 🙂
MD says
Becky, love your article, why is it funny that Mac doesn’t say it anymore? Mac needs to stop carrying her daughter now because there may come a time when she will get so bad she won’t be able to enjoy happy future moments with her family because she is so grounded in the moment. You are healthy and so love that you are that connected to your kids, but this woman has a back problem and should listen to her hubby and doctor.. Don’t know what’s funny about her not acknowledging her pain anymore.
Mac, please find other ways to connect with your daughter. What if years down the road you have a grandchild and can’t hold them because your back is so bad?
Debra says
Hi, I am a mom of 4 kids who have grown and had kids so now I’m grandmother of 10 I so enjoyed this article I often see mothers carrying kids too big to be …however after reading this it gives new perspective. I loved it when my granddaughter would run to me and jump into my arms @ 4, 5, and 6 yrs old now she is 11 yrs and I hardly get a hello kids grow up too fast so we as parents and grandparents NEED to cherish the moments of endearment holding our children is loving them !!!
Mari says
if you already have back pains, for the sake of your daughter, stop carrying her. Walk with her, hold her hand, speak loving words to her the whole way, but you really should avoid carrying her. Lay down and cuddle with her in her bed if she needs that extra contact (or hold her while sitting on the floor next to her bed if you don’t fit in her bed).
I know you feel the mom guilt, and the years rushing by, and the overwhelming love feelings and all that…. and I get it…. but you are doing your daughter a disservice because with every strain you put on your back, you weaken those muscles, and put yourself more and more at risk of serious back injury. Having a serious back injury will affect you for the rest of your life.
Sure, you might think you can suffer through the pain, and that you’d never let a little back pain keep you from being there for your daughter, but what are you going to do when she needs you and you can’t even get up off the floor?
Back pain doesn’t just affect your back, either. It affects your upper and lower extremities, as well. Arms and hands go numb, it can cause severe hip and leg pain, foot pain, neck and shoulder pain…. the back is kind of crucial to protect, Friend.
As the daughter of a mom who quietly suffered through her back pain for years, I can tell you quite honestly that 1.) I feel horribly guilty for causing some of that pain, and 2.) I resent it now, because she is in so much pain she can barely walk now. I live just three hours away from her (by car), and I only get to see her if I go to her place, even though a few years ago, when I lived an 8 hour drive from her, she came to visit at least every other month. She doesn’t come to my place now because the drive is too much. She can’t go out shopping like we used to because she can’t walk for very long. She can’t go to the museums or to the zoo, because it’s too hard on her. She is a wonderful mom, and I love her dearly, but I do wish she had taken better care of herself when she had the chance.
I know it is hard, but try something else with your daughter. She will thank you later.
Laura says
Great comment!
Kt says
Thank you for this important reminder. Moms often give everything they have , willingly and without a second thought, but down the line neglecting ourselves has consequences for our kids, too. I needed to read this as I am terrible at self-care. It’s a wonder my husband hasn’t left me as I’ve let myself go so badly…then what, my kids will have to split their holidays and buy two picture frames instead of one? …
Mary Diana Shiny says
Becky,
I used to think ten times before I carry my kid and used to get tired of carrying my kid, but now your post made me to feel to get excited of about this..thanks tons
Miranda says
I still carry my 3 year old on occassion, and of course my baby. But I just can’t carry my 5 and 7 year olds anymore. My back hurts too much when I try. But I still cuddle with them daily on the couch, and on the rare occasion that they are up before me, they come into my bed and we cuddle there. So I still hold my children, just don’t carry the bigger ones. I like your perspective though. I also have a 15 year old and she isn’t too into the cuddling anymore. Although when I’m lucky she will come share a blanket and lay her head on my shoulder during movie nights. 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I love that you still cuddle them. 🙂
Susie says
I’m still carrying my kids, but wow, they are soooooo heavy!!!! My husband gets an award how much he carries!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
haha!!!
Christina says
I have a 9 yr old and 6 yr old, I will hold my 6 yr old in public for as long as I possibly can (he is getting to heavy) but both of my boy will crawl up in my lap in the evening when we are unwinding from our hectic days. I will never tell them no!
Allison says
Right on! I LOVE carrying my 4 year old. She’s long but still light enough and she loves it. Im so glad to see im not the only one still does this. 🙂
Anne Marie says
I love to carry my four year old and do so whenever I can. I love that he still wants to snuggle on the couch under a blanket on weekend mornings or at bedtime when I read to him.
He is my only child and I am keenly aware that each day is the last time he will be precisely that age/stage and I intend to soak it all in, and love the stuffing out of that kid at every chance. I just love this post and couldn’t agree with you more!
Roxanne says
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
I have 5 year old twins. That’s it. When they grow up they will BOTH be grown up. Their lasts will happen right around the same time. I won’t have that next kid in line to ease the pain of them letting go. I hold them every single second I get and I love how it feels to have them wrap around me when I carry them. So, you go mama! Keep carrying those babies until they say no more. 🙂
Michelle says
My oldest child was one the last time I carried him….and it was when I carried him into the emergency room with a hi grade fever about four hours before he passed away. I really do not care how other people feel when they see me carrying my five year old, two old or one year old. If I had my way I would carry my children down the aisle on their wedding day because you never know when or why you may never carry them again.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh my gosh- I don’t even know what to say, except that I am sorry.
Leah says
Bless you hun, he is definitely watching over you and his other siblings. Losing a child is heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing. Im sorry for your loss.
Sarah says
I love your article! I have a 7 year old and I carry her to bed, call her my baby and carry her around when I want to. My in- laws are annoyed by it, and always say” why do you call her a baby, she isnt a baby.Whya re you carrying her, she is a big girl. It’s the most annnoying thing. I love my in laws, but this one thing gets to me so much. She is my baby, she will always be my baby and I will call her that even when she is 30 and 40 years old. I will carry her until she is too big to carry and then I will cry because I cant. I ask her if she wants me to call her my baby and if she thinks she is my baby and she replies that she is and she knows that i ma not calling her a baby, but my baby. I love your article, it brought me to tears, because I know one day I won’t be able to carry her. They grow up too fast. From day to day we do not know what can happen and I might forever regret not carrying her that one time…
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
One day she will really be a big girl & you’ll miss when she was your ‘baby”. 😉
jamie says
I miss all that, most here seem to have younger ones, but here is a biggie to cherish Learning to drive, driving them around.
The talks you have, all the wonderful things you are part of, all the time you share. Dont waste a minute of being in the car with your kids, one day they will get their license. and it ends. Looking back on it, that seems to be the day the childhood ended.
So carry you babies, lay down with them at night, tickle their backs, help them up when they fall. Cherish it all, it ends.
But the day your child is grown, is also a wonderful day, you get to meet a fantastic young person. It begins again.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Yes- it’s the little things that make the big difference.
mj says
Love it – I wrote about this only last week! http://bumpyroadtobubba.com/2015/10/14/no-shes-not-too-big-actually/
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I love it! 🙂 great minds!
Vanessa says
I carried my now 16 yo daughter until she was 5 or 6 and her daddy continued to carry her piggy-back to bed until her feet touched the ground. I still will wash her hair, lay with her, or any other request because one day she will be the mommy and these are the important things I want her to learn!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
haha!! yes, my husband carries ours to bed every night (up the stairs.) 🙂
I agree with you! They are important!
cindy says
This has brought tears to my eyes. I have always been told and reassured we couldn’t have children. We, as in me. I even went to a fertility clinic. That’s where I was on 9/11 by the way. I was being told I could never get pregnant but could bring 8-10,000 dollars if I wanted to try!!! I didn’t have money like that. The doctor also went on to say I was too old anyway. Well after a few mothers days and a lot of asking God for a child I did have a baby!!!! I was 44 and now he is 7. I have cherished everyday with him and I think the sun rises and shines with him. I have always told him I want to carry him as long as I can. When he even mentions for us to do something together I am up for it. I tell him that I want him to always remember he came before the house and before anything else. That time when they want to cuddle, watch a movie, go for a walk and yes, be carried is so short. I hold him every chance I can and tell him often how much I love him. (maybe even a little too much). Oh how I already miss him being that little baby I could hold as long as I wished so I’m not letting anything come between “our” time. I love my son so much and thank God daily for him. Thank you so much for the blog.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh my goodness- congratulations!!!
Chimgee says
I agree. With my firstborn, I enjoyed carrying him until he was two. one day he just no longer let me carry him, he just wanted to run around himself. That was when I missed carrying him. Now I am a mum of three, the youngest 5 year old. Last year in winter, I was carrying my then 4 year old son in the stairs in a cold day, an old lady started telling me to let him walk himself and that if i do not let him be indepent, he will grow up to be a dependent person. I partly agree with her, still I wanna enjoy carrying him until he is too big. I even carry my 7 and 5 year olds to bathroom in the morning. That is a thing I enjoy, and who says I cannot 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Yes- the oldest ones grow up so fast, don’t they?
Sylvia Barlow says
I am an almost 60year old nana , I can manage a short piggyback or on the hip ride from bath to bed , physically I am not able to carry my grandkids to much ,especially the two older ones , but when I can I do , they also still sit on my lap and have a book read to them , I try the good old superman ride now and then but it is harder. There is nothing wrong with carrying your kids if you want to and can . My youngest almost 5 wants to be carried all the time but I can’t .
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
My mom is the same way! What a great relationship you will have.
Gloria says
This story was so touching!!!! I carried my Son as long as I could and as long as he would let me and wanted me to…then when they grow too tall or too heavy, we can always carry them close to our hearts where they started out in the first place!!! I loved him before I met him. I loved him before I knew him. I love him forever. That’s my boy!!!!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you. 🙂 I love that. I tell mine that, too… ‘I loved you long before I met you”
Beth says
Thanks for this post! Made me smile 🙂
Glad I’m not the only one who carries my children around. My 4 year old is so tall and wears 6-7 year old clothes and people forget he’s still so young. It is getting harder now to carry them but I’ll always try to give them the what they’re needing. I’ll be sad the day they don’t want a pick up and are too big x
Blakelyall says
My son is 4 almost 5 and I still carry him. My husband was in an accident in January and one of his goals of recovery was being able to carry our son again. He can’t do it as much or for as long as before, but he does it as much as possible. We are told all the time to put our son down. We have an only child – not by choice- and the day we can no longer carry him will be so so sad.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh my goodness- I hope that he reaches his goal. I love that.
Cait says
I love this article so much. My daughter is only 11 months (next week!!), so I haven’t heard too much yet about carrying her, but I do get comments about “Do you pick her up every time she cries?” Um, yes. The day she stops lifting her arms to be picked up, I want it to be because a) she can ask, “Momma, pick me up?” or because b) she’s learned to soothe herself well enough that she doesn’t need it constantly. I NEVER want her to stop lifting her arms up because she thinks no one will pick her up. The very idea of that breaks my heart. Gah, even typing that makes me cry. So, all those judgy pants people can shut up. I’m’a hold my baby every chance I get!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh so so sweet! Kids do what they see… I’m sure she is going to be a very kind, empathic little girl. 🙂
Monica says
Thank you! Thank you so much for this article! I carry my 10 year old boy, not everywhere or in public but when he first sees me he’ll lead into my arms. I don’t know if he does it for himself or more for me but either way I’ll take it! My husband does the same as yours, gets onto me about “he’s not a baby anymore” or “you’re going to hurt yourself” I DON’T CARE! I carry him because he wants me to, because I want to, because when he digs his face into the crook of my neck for that moment I have MY SON IN A LOVING EMBRACE, where he feels safe and loved!!! AMEN!
Monica says
Thank you! Thank you so much for this article! I carry my 10 year old boy, not everywhere or in public but when he first sees me he’ll lead into my arms. I don’t know if he does it for himself or more for me but either way I’ll take it! My husband does the same as yours, gets onto me about “he’s not a baby anymore” or “you’re going to hurt yourself” I DON’T CARE! I carry him because he wants me to, because I want to, because when he digs his face into the crook of my neck for that moment I have MY SON IN A LOVING EMBRACE, where he feels safe and loved!!! AMEN!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I love it!
Tammie Hayden says
I carried my children up until this last winter when I had a foot injury and then surgery. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis. They are 7 and 10 now and I can’t seem to get my strength back to lift them as much as I did. Perhaps it will never come back as they are 73 and 77 pounds. In spite of all that they are still welcome on my lap and are held when they need it. Yes hold them and carry them when they are in need. It will go too quickly and that love and support will be remembered.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Oh no! I’m sorry that you have that, but I love your alternative. 🙂
Jessica says
I have three kiddos. 6, 5, and 2. And I still carry them. There is nothing better than mama’s love to make them feel safe. My oldest is almost as big as me (I’m only 5’0”) but I still carry them anyways. The day is slowly approaching for me when they will no longer want me to. Beautiful article!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Agree. (ps- we have our height in common! haha!)
Nikki says
I’d still carry my 18 year old if she’d let me. Just kidding, but I lay with my 11 year old at night and carry my 8 year old when he’s tired. My goal for my house is that the kids feel safe and loved. If that means I lay with them until they fall asleep every night I will or carry them because they need a bit of love. Despite my husbands protests that they are too old. Maybe they are, but they will grow up knowing they were safe and loved.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
That’s so sweet. 🙂 I have the same goal! Completely agree.
Jen says
That is what finally got me back into the gym and lifting weights. I was struggling to carry my four year old (and last child) around the house and up the stairs and thought, “No! This can’t be ending.” He just turned eight and you bet I carried him all the way to the car when he got stung by a bee last week. Thanks for the reminder.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
No way! Well good for you (& him!) 🙂
Nancy says
I love how you show love to your kids. Just a note to all who are mourning the fact that the cuddling and carrying are over. Once my kids got through the teen years, they have come back to being very close to me. My 31 year old daughter still lays her head on my shoulder and will lay up beside me on the bed and chat about life. My 29 year old son still wraps me up in big bear hugs which I treasure.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
LOVE that!
jess says
thank you I am currently running an expanding childminding business in my own home with four lovely girls 3 5 9 10 and your post has me crying quietly in a corner my 9 has just come back from a couple off nights at grannies and she is playing with the new moon dough and her 5 year old sister I have ordered a small take out tea when hubby asked why I said because I love you all and I want to enjoy the sounds a bit longer have tea and cuddle my girls then read your post it is so true getting the balance is hard and we have to remind our selves our babies will grow fast enjoy them love them xx
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you. I love that. So true.
Joanne says
What a lovely article…..He was the only one that mattered. We give up do much caring what other people think. I would have applauded you.This article brought tears to my eyes…You will never be to old, you may be to big and when that happens you will feel it physically…thank you….from New Hampshire
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you. 🙂
Amy says
Absolutely awesome! Who cares what anyone other than those precious babies think? I have one child, a 7 year old boy, and I pick him up out of bed every morning and hold him while he sleeps. I lay with him every night until he falls asleep and if he asks if he can sleep with me and his dad the answer is always yes. I dread the day he says no more or that I can’t physically pick him up but I know that day will come. So thank you for being such an awesome mom and standing up for all the Moms that put their kids first every time!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you! I agree!! 🙂
Gwen says
I have 4 kids. Two are teens in high school and the other 2 are 8 and 4 (almost 5). While I had not been able to carry my baby once he got older ( I had issues with my hip, just had a replacement this past Feb.) I do let him fall asleep with me in my bed. He will go to bed before me and ask if he can sleep with me. I tell him to grab his pillow ( because he sweats so much I want a dry pillow when I go to bed lol ) and so e times he asleep when I go up and other times we go at the same time. He gets moved by his dad when he comes to bed and he stays in his bed the rest of the night. I don’t care what anyone says. He is my baby. He is the only on of the 4 that would go to bed with me. The others would go on their crib and fall asleep. From day one he would go to bed with me and once he was asleep he got put in his own crib/bed. He is my baby, my last. This won’t last. I know. My teens don’t crawl into my bed at night any more. My 8 yr old has never been one to want to sleep with me. I will take the snuggles, sweat wet pillows, the non stop talking until he’s out. I will take feeling him lay next to me for as long as I can. It won’t last forever and I will miss it when he stops.
I am rambling. But i love my kids so much it hurts. I am lucky to have a 14 yr old son who will come to me and tell me he had not hugged me today and will give me a big hug. He tells me he loves me all the time. I will take it. Hope it doesn’t end but I will take it until it does.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I love that you shared so much! Thank you!!
Christina @ Embracing Simple says
Aw, I LOVED this Becky. I will definitely need to remind myself this as my now 1-year-old gets older. I absolutely love carrying her and will be so sad for the day when I’m no longer able to!!
Rita says
I am a mother of 2 wonderful fully grown men, ages 22 and 23, although I can’t remember the last time I carried my younger son I still would if he’d let me or needed me to. I carried my oldest son across his living room in July. I love my boys with all of my being and the bond we have is undeniable.
Mandeep says
I just love how you have written it. I have a 6 year old boy and who loves to be carried and finds every reason to be carried. I have slip disk but that has not stopped me from carrying him. He still sleeps with me and I get all kinds of responses on that such as how he will never be independent, he is going to be clingy , how I should train him to sleep on his own and other ridiculous stuff. My current reply is My son will decide when he is ready to move into his own room till then I am going to enjoy my boy’s company. After all he is my Son. I will carry and be with him as long as I can.
alina says
Thanks for this post! Happy I’m not the only one! I am a psychologist in Greece. I sometimes hold my 5 years old son if he has played too much and is too tired. If somenone gives me a strange look I just hold him even more!
Ana says
My husband still carries my youngest, 10 yrs old, if she ask. She will forever be daddy’s little girl. He’s the one having a more difficult time with our children, 17, 14, and 10 yrs old, growing up so fast. All my children are too big for me to carry, because I’m only 5’2″, but I carried them till I couldn’t anymore. I think they still remember that and instead choose to cuddle with me or hug me constantly when we’re walking, even the older too, and they’re boys. I grew up in a non-touching family, very little hugs or kisses and don’t even remember my parents ever carrying me (so they must have stopped when I was able to walk). My family would also give me a hard time for carrying them or letting them sit in my lap, saying they were too old. I would just explain that their lack of receiving parental love shouldn’t affect my children’s abundance of parental love. ?
Chandor says
My son’s are 9 and 6 and I still pick them up, I love being able to have them in my arms, close to my heart.
Christina says
I’m not a mom but I LOVE this post!! I have a very special connection with two of my nephews who live 3,000 miles away from me. For the past 10 years, Ive flown to the east coast to see them (Min. 5 times a year) because I’m afraid to miss them grow up. They are now 8 and 10 and they still LOVE and I choose to carry them as soon as they see me at the airport, going upstairs to prep for bedtime, or whenever I know they want to be comforted. True the 10 year old is getting heavier so I just give him a piggy back ride upstairs. The only people who comment and say they are too old to be carried are other family members and because they just don’t understand our bond, the kids just look at me and smile. I love that there are moms out there who are not afraid to show that they care more about the comfort of their kids than what others might say. Keep showing your kids that you love them!!
kimberly carr says
I wish i could carry my daughter she just got to heavy to lift its hard to even cuddle her when she’s sick or a bad dream she has a medical problem that makes her have night terrors
Amber says
This past weekend we were at Disneyland and my son got a bit ill on a ride. Afterwards, while waiting in line for some water, he was feeling pretty overwhelmed and dizzy, so I picked him up and carried him for a few minutes. He’s 9. And like you I didn’t care what anyone else thought, he was the one who cared that I was making him feel better. (Fortunately, he’s a fairly slight 9 year old!)
Leslie says
I work in a daycare and see parents carry their kids in all the time and used to think they need to let them walk, let them become independent. Now as a parent of sons who are 14 and 17 I say yes. yes carry them anytime you get the chance. They are only young once. Do it while you can and they will let you.
Sara says
I know my 9yr old would love to be picked up and carried. I’m preggers and can’t, which makes me a little sad for both of us.
Colleen says
I love this article! I carry my 4 and 1.5 year olds everywhere. My hubby has often said, you don’t HAVE to carry them… I know that, but I WANT to! 🙂 I love holding them, and like you said all too soon they will not want me to. 🙁
cheryl myers says
I loved this article. My children were carried until i could carry them no longer, i have the privilege now of being able to carry my grandchildren and share with them the closeness of two hearts beating in time, that i will remember forever, walks in the fields, by the ocean, at the zoo, carrying them and teaching them that love is like a warm hug , and in tough times may they remember the feel of what lovemeans and carry it on to the next generation.
JR says
My son will be 3 in 1 month. EVERY SINGLE TIME I pick him up I think of how it will be the last time SOMETIME. I will pick him up for as long as I’m able.
SummerS says
I just can say thank you for such a lovely reading, you definitely brouth me to tears…im a stay at home mom of 3 beautiful kids…a 3 1/2 year old princess, a 2 1/2 year old prince and a 2 month old little new prince!!! And i always carry them no matter what no matter who and no matter where i am….every time i have the chance to do it i do it because i know and think exactly the same way…one day they will grow up and wont be able to this anymore….but no matter what they will always are gonna be our babies….the most beautiful blessing God can give a human being…..
May God bless your beautiful family and may God give you guys a long, healthy, beautiful and loving
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you! Same to you.
Brit says
Love this. I had to quit carrying my almost 9 year old not too long ago. He’s a light weight at barely 50 pounds but with arthritis in my spine and almost no cartilage in both hips it’s just impossible. I cried when the doctors told me that I absolutely couldn’t do it anymore. 🙁
Maria Jose says
I love this… I don’t have kids, but I have seven younger siblings… The 5 youngest are 9, 8, 7, 5 and 3 years old… I still lke to carry the youngest ones around… The three year old lives on my hip. Whenever I come home from University or from anywhere he runs to my arms and he hugs me and kisses me and asks me to hold him.. I love him, and I know it’s not forever, I used to do the same with the nine year old who now avoids my kisses and it’s war to ask for a hug, lol… I carry the 7 and 5 year olds when they’re tired, or when we’re walking on a busy street and they’re trying to tlk to me but I can’t hear them, I lift the up so we can chat… My mom scolds me, she says I’m spoiling them , she says it’s not ok to hold them so much, she says I shouldn’t lay down with them whenever they ask me, that I shouldn’t allow them to sleep in my bed with me… But it ends… And I love them so so so much…. I don’t know if I’m spoiling them, or they’re spoiling me… Thank you for writing this, I’m going to have to share this with her…
Brooke says
I still carry my kids around (5&3) when they need it and never thought a thing of it, probably because my friends carry their kids around as well. I didn’t realise people might have an opinion about whether I should or shouldn’t be!
Terri says
I think about stuff like this article a lot when I hold my kids. They are too big to be carried, at 10, 9, and 9 (twins). It doesn’t seem that long ago when I easily rocked both twins at the same time. Now, there’s barely room for one. I carried them in when they fell asleep in the car… now I have to wake them up so they can walk in. Goes so fast. So now, I enjoy all the hugs and time we can spend together because I know before too long, they won’t need me quite so much.
PeggyLaPeg says
…”you will never been to old for your Mom to carry you. Too big, perhaps, but never too old.”
Ahhhhh!!! so true! My parents carried me around until … well I don’t remember, I guess until I was too big to be carried. Not always but if I wanted they would, If I was tired after a long hike, they would. If I fell and need comfort, they would. Now I do it for my kids because even that my family was far from perfect I always felt protected by my parents, really believed they were superheroes and that nothing could heart me because their arms hilled anything. And I believe, mi kids do to. Thank you for this article, it was beautiful!
Betsy says
My 16 year old still asks me to read to her occasionally, when she’s not being a moody teenager and my 18 year old still hugs me and tells me “I love you” in front of his college friends. I love it! Keep holding them as long as you can!
Sarah says
I have 4 children aged from 15 to 9 and I still carry my 9 year old especially when we go to some shows that are crowded and she can’t see from her wheelchair, she is fast catching me up in height though.
Kelly says
I love your confidence in carrying your children! Whenever I carry my son my mother views it as a bad thing and tries to make me feel guilty about it. One question, though: How do you keep your back from aching?!
Julie says
I carry my 3 boys (7,8,9) when they ask. Just for a minute and they can’t jump on me because they are getting so big. I won’t be able to for much longer but there is still something very sweet about them when you hold them. Sometimes it’s when I wake them up and sometimes when I put them to bed. What anyone else thinks doesn’t really matter.
Kathryn Young says
I am still carrying my 2 kids, my daughter is 9 and almost as tall as me. I carry her piggy back, My son is 8 and I still carry him on my side but sometimes piggy back. I can only do it for so long as my back then starts to hurt. But I am thankful that I can do that still with them. They still ask to cuddle with me and I love that they still want to do that.
Dana says
I never comment on these things but I had to make an exception here. I love this, every bit of it. It was especially great to me to read that you’re 4’11”- I am too! At 85 lbs I am a petite little mama- and my 7 year old son, Nico, is almost as tall and weighs 74 lbs. I know because he broke his arm two weeks ago, and aside from the fact that he was weighed before they administered the drug that would put him to “sleep” and enable the doctors to set the bones back in place without feeling the pain, I know because I carried him. I held him and loved him and rubbed his hair against my chin like I used to do when he was a tiny baby (of course with my neck stretched as far as it could go with out snapping). Believe me, I felt every bit of those 73 lbs in my bones. Each one weighed on my heart as I stopped to think “this may be the last time you get to carry him”. My daughter, Mikaela, who is 4 has been carried by me every day since then. I’m going to savor those moments and carry her (well, the both of them) for as long as I can, but I will carry them in my heart forever. 🙂
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Dana,
Thank you for writing this today. I loved your words- so sweet!!
Bry says
Makes me a little sad my six year old still wants to be picked up but he too big for me at six he the average size of a eleven year old. He’s taller than a few adults I know 🙁 when he was five he had a injury that made it hard for him to walk it almost killed me to carry him just from our car to a shopping cart. We get lots of looks when he wants hugs and kisses in public
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I’m sorry- that has to be hard, but you love him & who cares what they think… 🙂 you are a good momma!!
Ashley says
Yes!! Still carrying my 7 year old and will for as long as he wants me to and I’m able.
Kimberly says
I wish that I could carry my son still. He’s 5, weighs 60lbs and I haven’t been able to carry him since he was about 3. From my lower back to my neck is forever not right from a car accident years ago so I can’t carry heavy things. It makes me sad that i can’t carry him when he wants me to but I try to make up for it by snuggles and letting him sit on my lap. Bonding with your child is a big thing I think especially since I’m a single mother.
Lizzy says
I needed this. My daughter will be 2 on Saturday and I know this is the beginning of her independence, it makes me sad. I miss my baby, my newborn that barely fit into my arms. I didn’t cherish that time enough, or maybe I did. I may just miss it, but I do know this any time everyone tells me why are you babying her or holding her she can walk, she will be spoiled, no I’m the one who is spoiled, that’s what I will say. Thanks lol
Chantelle says
Nailed it!! This had me tearing up, because it’s absolutely true! You never know when a particular moment will be the last time you ever do it. you never know until time has past and you look back, and it doesn’t happen anymore. My son is nearing 15 months, and what got me through the sleepless nights, and the “neediness” when I was trying to do something else, or so tired I could barely put one foot in front of the other, was to Stop and remind myself.. ” you know what mamma, this time passes TOO fast, ands you never know when it will be the last time they cry in the night and want you to rock and comfort them back to sleep, when it will be the last time they lift their arms to you and say “up!” or when it will be the last time you are the most important focus of their world” We all grow up one day… but for now.. I will savor every moment I have with my lil prince!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
thank you.
Kelly S says
Are you just carrying them in your arms?
Because a ring sling style carrier would make carrying them a LOT easier.
The sling I’m currently using is tested to hold 100 lbs of kid (or maybe even a small adult).
I don’t want to advertise the company on your blog, but if you want to send me an email, I can point you at the right company.
Aileen says
I often carry by 6 and 8 year olds. They ride on my back more than my hip these days, and I will do it until they can carry me. They feel special that I pick them up even when not asked to, but recognize when they need something extra. It is a 5 block walk home from school and I will always give them a lift if they would like it. It is a beautiful thing.x
CJ says
My 7 yr old is too heavy and tall for me to carry now, so instead I give her a piggy back from her bed to the lounge room in the mornings. Starts her day with something fun and some attention from me 🙂
Shannon says
This made me cry, beautiful and so true coming from a mom who’s only baby boy is a freshman in college. Those moments go by so fast. Cherishing each one, if I could give any advice to mom’s of little ones this would be it. Snuggle that sleeping baby in your arms , pick up that crying baby, carry those kids till your arms physically no longer can.. take a step back during those challenging times and take a breath in a few short years you will wish for those tantrums back.. loves this so much. Thanks for sharing
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
thanks!!
jess says
My husband actual sent me the link to thia and it brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing this. Our world is so quick to make judgement on others, and so quick to make you grow up. I still carry my 6 1/2 year old any time he asks me too because like you, I know the time is short that this will be possible and wanted.
Thank you for sharing this
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
That was so thoughtful of him. 🙂 Thank you for sharing that with me!
Andrea says
Completely agree with you! I carry my 4 year old all the time. My 6 year old is getting so heavy, so it’s hard to hold her for long but I still do when I can and she loves it. Sadly my oldest (10 year old son) is now past that stage but on occasion I pick him up at home because he gets a laugh out of it! 🙂 Time goes by WAY to quickly to miss out on those extra moments with our little ones.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂
Hilary says
I love this post! And I completely agree. I still carry my 7-year-old and my 6-year-old, because I know I won’t always be able to. Every morning, my 7-year-old wakes up, comes downstairs and I pick him up, carry him across the room, then we cuddle on the couch. I know it won’t last the rest of our lives … so for now, I’m loving every single moment of it.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂
Sarah says
This was great to see, my daughter is almost 5 feet tall and 7, she can fit size 10-12 in clothes, she just about 60 pounds and I always carry her or hold her whenever she wants, I tell her most of the time that I gained over 70 pounds when I had her so no reason I can’t hold her, I also tell her it’s good for my muscles, even if I have bad knees and back ?, she’s the only child I was able to have so it’s important that she know how loved she is.
Rachel Kurtz says
This is so wonderful. I have a different perspective. When my son was 5 and my daughter was just a baby of 6 months, (and I was 33 years old) something happened that would change my life and the lives of all my family. I went to bed New Year’s Eve, 1989, a normal, relatively trim woman who walked 3 miles a day, was raising 2 beautiful children, a happy homemaker and wife of my husband of 14 years. When I awakened the next morning (New Year’s Day, 1990, something had happened to my body overnight. My knees had filled with fluid and I couldn’t walk or stand. The pain was incredible. My knees were huge. My husband got our baby daughter out of her crib and took care of her and our son. We finally called a neighbor to take me to the ER so my husband could stay home and take care of the children. I could barely get to the car. I was put in a wheelchair at the hospital. They didn’t really know what to do with me. I was returned home and got into a rheumatologist within 10 agonizing days. Fast forward. The following years were very difficult. I had developed rheumatoid arthritis. It took a terrible toll on my health, our finances (the medications for this disease are very expensive) and the ability for me to care for our children. Somehow I did it. I was in terrible pain and the disease wasn’t confined to my knees. My shoulders, hips, wrists, fingers, toes and back–all suffered. It was hard to lift and carry my baby. As my daughter grew, she understood I was in pain and would ask “Are you sittable today?”–meaning would it hurt me if she got up on my lap. The children grew and I was the best mom I could be. My children learned compassion for me and other people with disabilities. My children are grown now, both married and both new parents. My daughter and her husband have an 8 month old daughter and my son and his wife have a newborn son. What a joy my children are and now my grandchildren! Over the years, I’ve had over 25 surgeries, many orthopedic surgeries to knees, toes, fingers, wrist, elbow and 6 to my shoulders alone. I cannot get my children to sit on my lap–especially my daughter. She does not want to hurt me. I finally begged her to–I so miss it! She will sit on her dad’s lap. My son will sit on my husband’s lap. But, the kids are afraid to hurt me. They don’t want to hurt their mom! I love them so much. My daughter will occasionally sit on my lap but I have to beg. I really miss that! It was one of the things I had to give up as they grew. Now I hold my grandchildren. My granddaughter is already getting heavy for me. We will see how long I can carry her. I loved reading that you love to carry your children. Do so as long as you want to. They grow up too fast! I really enjoyed reading your account. Be grateful that you are physically able to do this! For all of you women reading this–be grateful for the challenging times of young childhood with your children. They will pass quickly. And be grateful for your ability to carry them. It is a great blessing! I will be 59 next month. I have been married 40 years. I am heavier now than I was (years of prednisone use contributed to that) but so grateful for the children and grandchildren and husband I have been blessed with! Life is Good!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
That was so sweet!
Heidi says
I have only been blessed with one perfect gift and at 4 and a half she is almost 4ft tall and about the size of a 6 year old… But regardless she is only little for such a short time when she wants up I don’t care what others say I carry her and cuddle her!! We get this for such a short period and for those of us who only get these gifts once around I say cherish every second!
Kylee Moran says
I was thinking that today…. My baby will be 5 months on Sunday… I cannot believe where the time goes. I get lots of “concerned” parents asking why I rock my child to sleep every night. I enjoy rocking him to sleep and enjoy our evening cuddles… I know he will learn to fall asleep on his own.. So what he doesn’t fall asleep on his own he is a tiny thing still. I will never get the months back pf him being a little newborn. And the times I followed people’s advice my baby ends up with a flat head. I used to hold him a lot and people said you’re holding him way too much blah blah… So I started putting him down more and what not now his little head is flat. So we don’t and shouldn’t listen to others. We carried those babies and know them better than anyone else. I love this article:)
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you 🙂
Shannon says
My son will be 13 in 3 weeks and we still cuddle on the couch while watching our favorite shows. I still get to “tuck him in” at night and he sometimes will hold my hand in public or put his arm around me. I’m also very fortunate that every time I come home from work or even running errands he will still come running for a hug hello – sometimes I can barely get my purse put down and I can’t even think about getting anything out of it until he gets his hug.
So I say Carry On…as long as you can!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
love that
Jennifer Annis says
I called my son my ‘Little Calorie Burner’…always on my hip. I carried him EVERYWHERE…he hardly ever walked…up stairs, down stairs, in stores, walking anywhere…I joked that Id gain ten pounds when he got to big for me to carry…I MISS CARRYING HIM. I miss my sidekick…Now every night he is my ‘Lay with me, Mommy’ child. You can bet that I never say no. For I, like you, there will come that day that will be the last time…and i might not even realize it! Karen Kingsbury’s book, ‘Let Me Hold You Longer’ says I best…I have an older daughter that showed me all too soon how they get to big for us…
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
LOVE that book – I wrote a whole post about it. 🙂 haha!
CC says
Thanks for this! My babygirl is 17 and she still wants me to carry her sometimes, lol. <3 I'm glad she still loves on her momma and wonder how much longer she will be like this, so I still carry her (:
April says
This just made my day.
As a single mom (5’4″) to a very tall 3 1/2yr old (people assume he’s 5), I get ridiculed for carrying him CONSTANTLY. I tried to get pregnant for 10 YEARS and was told I’d never have children. I will carry my son until I literally fall to the ground trying. He loves it, I love it. Who cares what anyone says or thinks (including my own family ). Both of our breathing become one and all is right in our world when he’s in my arms. So refreshing to read of other moms doing this too while they still fit in our arms!
The world can be a scary place and people like to rush children to grow up so fast now. My son will always be my miracle baby and I intend to cherish him the way he deserves to be.
gabrielle says
so stinking awesome.
too big – never too old.
I love it!
Cathy Yee says
Hi Becky. I am a 57 year old mom and grandma. I raised 5 kids who are now 18 to 29 years old. I also carried my children as much as possible and for as long as possible. I found that my two kids who were ADD benefitted from it more then the others. It seemed to comfort and calm them when they couldn’t settle down on their own. I was often critized for not making them walk or not letting them grow up. But they all grew up and quite well I might say. I used a sling when they were babies. Some time they would bring the sling to me when they were toddlers. It was their way of letting me know they wanted and needed to be held. My younger son who is now 20 still has me carry him piggyback style once in a while. We both get a laugh out of it. Fortunately, he is not too tall and only weighs 135lbs. My youngest grandaughter is only 3 weeks old. I hold her every minute I can and so do my son and daughter-in-law. Children are designed to be carry. Carrying them will never hurt them. Carry On!!!!
Laura says
Thanks so much for this article. My daughter is 3 and started preschool a few months ago. I still carry her when she asks me to. I was devastated because her teacher told me one day that my daughter is a big girl now and I should not be carrying her to class. My daughter asks me to carry her to class and I feel it brings her great comfort before she has to leave me for a few hours. She has been very nervous about being away from me to go to school. Her teacher is not a mom, so I feel she is cold and doesn’t understand. Anyway thanks for this article because I feel exactly the way you do. I cried and cried to my husband one day because it makes me so sad to think of the day when she won’t want me to hold her anymore!!
Lejla says
Wow, I have teras in my eyes. You wrote so beautifully… Can I translate your article into polish language and add it (with link to your site) on my site? ( http://www.rodzicielstworadosci.com ) ? Please, please! I never used a stroller, only wrap or hands, I will carry my daughter (still one, but we try to have more children) until I’ll be able to.
Laura says
OMG, Dear Becky, I just HAVE TO tell you, you’re carrying them THE WRONG WAY!!! Your spine is so curved that it hurts my back even watching you!! It’s totally curved in the shape of “S” word!!! Carrying your kids ON YOUR HIP is the worst possible thing to do!! Try carrying them differently. I’m mother of five, I’m petite and have numerous problems (spine, hips, bones etc.) because of 5 pregnancies and unfortunately I didn’t find out about proper carrying until my 3rd child … A few physiotherapists told me how to carry a baby/child if there actually is a necessity …
I haven’t read all the comments – maybe someone has already told you what’s the proper way to carry a child.
I’m sorry for not being more specific but English is not my native language. Best regards and btw – great articles! 🙂
Emily Abney says
My 14 year old daughter loves that I can still carry her! Now it is not as graceful as it used to be but she doesn’t care! We just laugh together. She just loves the fact I can actually carry her on my back or she can hug my neck with her legs wrapped around my waist. She still asks me to lay down with her if she has had a bad day, she still asks me to scratch her back and I never hesitate! Eventually I will not be able to but I hope she remembers it as fondly as I am! I am treasuring all these “moments”.
Crystal says
I lives this post. I typically have my almost 5 year old on one hip and my almost 2 year old on the other. They weigh close to the same so the balance each other. But people always look at me like I’m crazy. My husband tells me that I’m babying them. But they are only little for so long. Thank you for this. It will make those crazy looks a little more bearable.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂
Mel says
I have 4 children. Ages 19, 16, 11, and 2. The older ones still love to snuggle and hold hands with me. Honestly it use to creep me out. I did not grow up in an affectionate home. But, I knew I was loved. After reading the comments I will cherish these moments with them as long as I can. I feel blessed to have children that love and want to be close to me.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 So sweet.
Erin Gurley says
Working with preschoolers, and by NO means an expert, I want to say when children are carried they tend to lack maturity and confidence. I understand how precious the moment may seem while you carry them in whatever circumstance it may be…….there is nothing more precious than to see your child move through life with strong independence, confidence and strength that they are robbed of when they are coddled or babies. I think that is one of the most nurturing things parent can do is guide them towards independence.It is hard not to make it about us and loosing all those baby moments. The years ahead may not be of snuggling, carrying, or the closeness that we may have with them when they are younger but the closeness will be in a different form. I really struggle with parents that carry their children to the classroom. The child often has a horrible time disconnecting from mommy and it make the drop off experience long and emotional for momma. I had to lovingly guide a mommy to get away from holding her little one. When she stopped and realized how she had really empowered the child to detach and do things on his own she was sooooo proud of herself and him!! I strongly believe one of the best ways to love your baby is to guide them towards this independence and strength! It’s not about us right?
Erin Gurley says
I would also like to add I am a crazy loving momma of two! I believe in holding hands, affirming words, lots of one on one time together! Please do not think I am cold! I love my children good but want them to be strong and secure on their own!
Melissa says
I completely agree with you ! Great comment !!
Milia says
You’re right…I AM looking over at you, but it’s to give you a Hey-we’re-soul-sisters look b/c I feel the same way (-: . It’s the same look I give to breastfeeding mommies at restaurants and stores, and the same one I give to the poor mom at the grocery store who is trying so hard to be a good parent by simply saying “No” to her screaming child who wants a candy bar.
You are honestly the best mommy blogger I have ever come across on the Internet (-: . I am a 48-year-old homeschooling mother of five (24-8), so you can imagine how many sites I have seen (-; !
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 That was so so sweet. Thank you!
gorjuz gorjuz says
Nothing can give me so much happiness than to carry my children as long as i can. I always carry them although they can walk. The feeling of intimacy when I hold them close to me is just so priceless to miss!
Tammy says
Its funny. You can remember when your child takes his first step,gets his first tooth, sits up all on his own.
Sadly, you don’t realize until much later that this is the last time your child reaches for your hand to cross the street, ask you to read them one fish two fish, need you to wash their hair, fasten their pants pour their cereal ….
Leah says
I will admit it. My niece is 4 and she is too heavy to carry. We don’t even bother carrying the 7yr.
Laura says
Oh, yes! Finally, I meet people here that understands me 🙂 . I still carry my 5 year old son and I really loved doing that although my husband always tells not to do it anymore. I know that this isn’t going to last forever. As you said, Becky, one day I won’t be able to that anymore. My daughter is 9 and I cannot carry her anymore as she is too heavy for me (I’m a short skinny mama :)) but she suffers a lot for that. She still likes to cuddle, and hug me and she acts like she is still a baby :).
Kimberly says
I had a women comment to me that my (then) 16 month old son was as big as me while carrying him in my Ergo. I looked at the top of his head below me & queried: really? She had said with a tone that said “he’s too big for you to be carrying him”. She said yes, he goes from your head to your knees (he actually went from my chest to my thighs). I even had someone comment to me when he was 9 weeks old that I couldn’t carry him like that forever. 9 weeks! It’s funny how people feel they need to tell you not to carry your kids. My son is almost 18 months now & I plan to carry him as long as he will let me. He definitely lives on my hip & I’ve learned there is a lot you can do with just one arm. I’ve also learned I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was as he’s now about 25lbs. Are there times when I feel too tired to carry him? For sure! However, I know this time is short & there will come a day when he is actually too big or no longer wishes to be carried so I will carry him as long as he lets me. I must say that I’ve had a lot of positive comments too where grown men & women say “I wish someone would carry me like that!” Don’t we all. ❤️
Madji says
My barely 4 year old is well over 4 feet tall & people ask me this all the time! My two year old is a sturdy 40 poynd little man. I carry them both, when they need me. Thank you!
mercedes says
I’m so glad that I was not the only one in this world to carry my kid!! thanks for the article.
I remember my daughter was around 14 yrs old and she was already as tall as me and we were going home from a day of sightseen around NYC and she was so tired and there were no seats in the train, we were by the pole and I made a “seat” for her with one of my legs and the other againt the pole and holding with one arm, the other arm around her, holding her, she sat there, closed her eyes and soon was asleep. I endured the hour ride home, people around the packed train gave me the look, I did not care, because my only care was for my child, and when we arrived I embraced her and walked out of the train with my sleepy girl, today, she remembers this and many other times when I carried her, she is married and no babies yet, and she says to me, mom, you need to do to my children what you did to me, love them and spoil them and carry them even if they are too big, well, that will be easy because my heart is so full of love for my child, that will be passed on to my grandkids one day, and that love made me strong to carry her all the time even when she was too big!
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 Thank you for sharing!
Anna Maledon says
That was so so beautiful Mercedes!
Tim G Swoboda says
Beautiful story Mercedes. (except for the part where no one offered you a seat!)
Erin says
I love this article, and although I don’t like to think about my kids getting too old to be carried..I know it will happen..until then I will enjoy carrying them, sometimes two at once??
Katie says
Song for a Fifth Child by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton (1921- )
Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.
____________________________________
My Mom had this in cross stitch that hung on our walls growing up. She got it when my big sister was born, and is a mentality she kept with ask of us. Let the children be children for they won’t be for long. 💖
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
🙂 love it.
Deanna says
I have 2 children, a daughter who is 15 (will be 16 in Dec.) and a son who is 11 (will be 12 in April). Both of our kids, I’ve carried till I couldn’t hold them anymore in my arms. Our son is almost as tall as me and I’m 5’3″ and my husband is 6’2″. Our daughter is taller than me by an inch. But I’ve told them both, you will never be too old for me to carry or too heavy if I am able. I will give piggie back ride them if I am able. My husband has told me countless times when they were growing up that they are too old to be picked up. I still carried them.
We still have a bed time routine:
1. Get their waters for themselves unless they forgot when they lay down then I get it for them.
2. Give hugs and kisses and say goodnight.
3. I tuck our son in still and I give him hugs and kisses.
4. And then he yells out to each of us, “Goodnight dad, or mom, or sister, love you, see you in the morning!”
I’m never going to tire of it.
I remember I tried reading to them but they never sat still long enough but it was long enough for me to enjoy it.
Jan says
I love this. My son is not even 2 yet, but is the size of a very tall 2-3 year old. We were at the store one day, and he did not want to sit in the cart, so I carried him. He wasn’t making a fuss, just enjoys being carried. As we stood in line, the woman behind us, a much older woman, tapped me on the shoulder, and proceeded to tell me that she would “never even dream” of carrying her kids around when they were “that big”. I told her that my son was only 18 months, and she honestly looked at me like I was lying to her, and stopped talking. People can keep their judgments to themselves. You are the parent, and YOU know what is best for you and YOUR child. They can shove it, haha.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
Thank you!
Catherine says
Ok, so call me crazy but my baby is in college and wanted a piggy back. She is as tall as mom and you know what? She got her piggy back ride from the car to her apartment. She’s 20 and I’m 45 but you know what else? As long as I’m able to keep up the little things that mom had always done, I’m in. You carry those babies as long as you can!!
Jennifer | The Search For Imperfection says
I love this. Although on the one hand I was glad when my kids got big enough not to “need” to be carried, even my 5-1/2 year old jumps up in my arms pretty often still. Sometimes I feel like putting her down because she’s “too old” to be carried, but I usually hold on to her because — just as you say — the day comes so quickly when they really are “too big” and/or they wouldn’t dream of letting you carry them. (Although I still sit in my mom’s lap sometimes, and I’m 37 years old today, so maybe you never truly are “too old!” 😉
Grandma C says
Thank you for writing this. My husband and I are grandparents and love having the opportunity to carry the grandkids since they give such awesome hugs. We love the closeness that we get to share during this time together. It is unfortunate that parents forget that these children will grow up way too quickly and if they aren’t taking advantage of this time to bond, they will be missing a lot of special closeness with their kids.
Becky (Your Modern Family) says
I completely agree. Thanks for writing. 🙂
Duncan says
I really like this article. It’s a shame that everything is so biased towards women behaving like this and not men… People responding that their husband said ‘they’re too old to be carried’. I will carry my boys as long as I have arms. I will cuddle them until the day I die.
Duncan says
Also, that’s not a dig at you or your site. I find that in general these articles are aimed at women because it’s seen as weakness for men to feel this way, I guess…
Laurel says
I just turned 40, have 8 herniated discs in my back and neck…my youngest child is 6 with Autism. He does like “hugs” or “kisses” but loves to be carried. I take him in my arms and enjoy every precious moments he will let me hold him; it is my way of hugging and kissing him and showering him with all my love and I LOVE each and every moment of it!
Laurel says
I meant to type he does NOT like hugs or kisses.
Aprile Greene says
I carried my daughter until she was to heavy and didn’t want to be carried. I still carry her 9 and 7 year old. My daughter is now 27 and still climbs onto my lap when she needs to.
Barb says
My 7 year old grand daughter still wants me to carry her, sometimes even into school. She is getting a little heavy but I still do it for as long as I can because I know soon enough she won’t even want me to WALK INTO school with her. I love the closeness and cherish every single minute….and no I don’t care what ANYONE says about it…
Rey T says
My mom still carries me, when i fall she makes sure i get back up, as I will do for my children until i am no longer here to do it. Her 4’10.5 frame may not be able to physically lift me, but she sure hasnt let that stop her from making sure her children never stay down then they fall. My 6yo is 80 lbs (has been for 3 years weight is being managed professionally). I still lift her, my shoulder suffers for it but shes my daughter and as long as she feels secure with me holding her, i will. One day she will be embarrassed to hug me, until then, as long as i’m her hero, i will do all i can to help her feel loved.
Lynda says
Hi..i am linda from Malaysia..i have 3 kids right now. 4, 3 years old & 13 days old.
Previously. .i still carry my kids.
Now im in confinement and c section delivery. Myvkids sometime upset with me.
Bcoz i cant carry them 😉
Only carry newborn
Meradee says
I love this! I carry my almost 6 year old as much as I am able, which is getting to be less and less all the time, and I get so tired of people telling me ” you won’t be able to do that forever you know” as if it is a bad thing when that is exactly why I do it! I am not sure why people are in such a hurry for children to act like independent adults when they are only little for such a short time ( I do teach her all the things she needs to know but I also enjoy doing things for her while she still lets me).
Tekmaluvu says
Thank you. Your post made my day!
Love.
Stacey Marsh says
I love your posts so much, they make such sense to me i see my kids just how you do through your eyes, my husband not so much….he misses things doesnt appreciate etc doesnt always see their innocence and everything from a childs eye…….i cant wait to read more
Nicci says
I love this post so much!
I sometimes still pick up and hug my 8 and 10yo’s with their legs around my waist. They wouldn’t dare let me do it it public, but I sneak one in at home 😉
I’m 6ft so am big and strong enough to do it, I’m sure it won’t be long before they are way too big, but I’ll do it as long as I can and able.
Thank you for sharing xx
Sara says
This post was so sweet! It reminds me of a cute thing that happened to me recently. (Excuse my bad english)
I was chilling on the sofa at night with my 6 years old, watching TV, and she fell asleep on my lap. I tried to stand up with her in my arms to take her to bed, but couldn’t do it, because she was too heavy. That made me very sad so I kept trying to arrange her slept body, but still couldn’t lift her. It was making me so sad I felt tears coming to my eyes, from not being able to carry my little baby anymore.
This is when my husband approached the sofa from behind, because he was in the kitchen, and picked me up in his arms (bridal style), with my daughter still on my lap. He carried us both to bed like that as if it was nothing. And he said to me with the cutest smile: “I can lend you some strength anytime you need it babe”. I fell in love again that day 🙂
T says
That’s so cool! I love this view.
Good for you all!
Valli says
Hi Becky,
It’s very true! Kids always need that love and care…A piggy back ride is my son’s favorite..I give my 7 yr old..one… sometimes..
Thank you for the lovely post.
Giwreh says
How lovely !
Carrying is in no way just a practical duty. Carrying is joy and friendship an love and celebration and … ohhh, so much except for anything negative !
Carrying is really the most positive emo-physical connection people can make with each other. I goes both ways, carrying and the desire for being carried. It should never stop, as long as you’re strong enough for the weight !
It’s not just the parent to kid thing. I look at it in the broadest perspective ! To start with, kids do grow, of course 🙂 …and there comes the swich-over point when the kid can carry the parent ! It should be welcomed with a warm open heart ! Make it fitting in with those things in live wich are allowed and feeling good and rich and exciting !
The emo-physical connection is not lost when your kid starts lifting and carrying you, as parent ! 🙂 For no other reason, then joy. Some kids are so strong, they already “can”, when still shorter and lighter. Role swich is wonderfull. Role switch prevents an emotional loose, which would be pityfull and often onesided. When your kid came up with a run-&-jump on you, make clear to your upgrowing kids that you would enjoy the similar thing in reverse as well ! Many kids really would love to do it, if they just knew their parents would embrace the switch, and even more important: nothing taboo at all.
And then, go bejond the circle of parents-kids relations. Sweetly carry friends, or let youself being carried.
Adults should do it often and lovingly. My personal spirit is like that, but the biggest holdback is the massive silent taboo existing in society.
Hope I can inspire people !
Patrisia says
This article made me cry(happy tears and sad tears).. I love my 2 boys. One is 5 and one is 3. They both still sleep with me in my bed. Their dad travels often.. So they are my company. I carry my kids also…. I always think that when they get older they won’t want nothing to do with me and it makes me sad.. your article touched my heart.
Toni Rollison says
I am a 62 year old Mother and Nonna to two beautiful daughters and two beautiful granddaughters. I, too was a kid carrier until the very last minute I was able. Guess what? My 36 year old daughter still loves to hold my hand in public
And both of my daughters love to cuddle in my bed for mommy
Daughter time. Carry as long as you can and savour that bond forThe rest of your life.
Elaine Livingstone says
nicely written. and so very true every phase comes to an end and another step nearer to them flying the nest
Tim G Swoboda says
Hi. I had 4 kids also. I was a stay at home dad. It was hard as my kids were very close but it was the best of times. I carried them everywhere. My 2 girls were the youngest so I ended up carrying them the most…until their feet were dragging on the ground it seems lol. I can still so plainly see my youngest with her arms stretched upward to me.
As Becky says they feel safe and secure in your arms…and nothing is more important to raising kids that have that security. I think it enables them to make decisions with confidence as they grow.
Love the article and memories. Thank you for sharing.