What he said to me…

It was on a night when Ethan (our youngest son) had Parkour Practice (think “American Ninja Warrior”) and I took him to it alone. Mickey was home with the other kids, helping with homework (math is not my forte), so it gave E and I some time for just the two of us.

When practice ended and we were driving home, we were talking and I said: “E? I just wanted to tell you that I love you more than anything in the whole world.” (honestly, I tell each of our kids this A LOT, so that didn’t surprise him).

He said, “I love you like that too, Mom.”

I replied “I know you do. Do you know what else? I think that God knew just what he was doing when he put us together.”

His next words are what surprised me because I guess that I didn’t realize that he was really thinking about what I was saying. It wasn’t just words to him. He was feeling what I was saying.

“Mom? Do you think God said ‘I have the perfect boy for Becky. They will love each other a lot. She will always be happy when she looks at him.’”

Now, I can tell you, in all honesty, and transparency, that Ethan’s temperament has caused my patience to be tested more than once.

He has CENTRAL Sleep Apnea (his brain tells his body that he is suffocating when he sleeps, so it wakes him up as soon as he falls asleep).  It is very rare and unlike regular sleep apnea that is caused by a blockage, this is related to. the brain and often the heart. It took us several years to figure it out.

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He literally woke up 8 times an hour for years (He woke up an average of 96 times most nights)- although I didn’t know because he never woke up fully… just enough to get out of that sleep cycle.  It made him pretty grumpy on a lot of those days.

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His mood was actually the reason that I had taken him to see a pediatric neurologist.   He was grumpy more often than I thought he should be, so I thought maybe something was going on, something that wasn’t plain to see.

They sent us to have a sleep study done and we figured it out.   Getting him that sleep study test was the best thing we could have done.  I thought that it was behavior-related or maybe even ADHD. 
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It took years to figure out what was wrong, and then many months of trial & error with the C-PAP machine to help him.  Once we were able to, he was back to his sweet self.  We had missed that side of him. ♥
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It was an amazing transformation and I’m shocked at how much his lack of sleep truly impacted his personality, but I’ll write more on that another day. ♥

So I guess that I wanted to write to you to tell you this today because it reminded me that what matters isn’t that you did XY&Z today. What matters is that you loved your family today.

Maybe you show your love by playing with your kids.
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Maybe you show it by taking care of the house. Maybe you show it by being silly with them or by being nurturing to them.
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However, you show your love to them, know that they can feel it, see it or hear it. Know that they don’t care if you mess up from time to time because you are human, too.
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They are learning that love conquers all and they learn it by the way that you look at them, talk to them and enjoy being with them.