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Several years ago, when our child was still waking up at night (two years old at the time), I went into our Doctor’s office with this complaint…  “My 2-year-old is still waking up at night .”  Her advice changed our nights!


I was recently talking to a friend having the same issues, so I decided that if she needed some encouragement, others might, too.

2, 3, 4 year old waking up at night

I wanted to share this with you because our son was the BEST sleeper.
He came home from the hospital and slept through the night.   
Let me hold you longer - daddy & ethan
At one year of age, he continued to sleep all night long.  He did this until he was about two years of age and then it started.  He started waking up at night, and it was happening every night.  He was waking up not feeling rested… even, might I say… “Crabby”?

not happy

Once we started watching his patterns more often, we realized that it was around the same time every night.  He was going to bed around 7:00 every night (6:00 if he didn’t nap at all) and waking up in the morning around 7:00 or 8:00.  If he goes to bed at 6:00, he wakes up between 6:50 & 7:30 – he always gets at least 12 hours, sometimes 13, which is about what he needs.

He started waking up at midnight, too.  He would wake up and cry.  We would go in, cover him up and he would go back to sleep.  Sometimes he wanted a drink or different pajamas (not sure about this one, he just liked to change his pajamas – haha!)

It was impacting his mornings.

He wasn’t acting like himself because he was waking up and not getting his much-needed rest. After a few weeks of this, I was exhausted (We have three other kids, and one was a baby at the time.)  He was exhausted, too.  

This photo was taken around that time…  

Four children posing for a professional photograph.

I wish I could say it was a short phase, but it continued.  A few months later, I was even more exhausted.  When his 3-year well-check came around, this was brought up, and we received great advice!

THIS ADVICE CHANGED HIS SLEEP PATTERNS, AND HE BEGAN TO SLEEP ALL NIGHT LONG…

2, 3 or 4 year old waking at night

What you need to do:

She told us that when WE go to bed, go into his room first, hug him, kiss him, lay with them, cover him up…. all things to rouse him just a bit.  Wake him just enough to break him out of his sleep a little.  What this does is that it breaks up his sleep cycle.   He was waking when he was switching from his REM sleep.   Do not wake them up! Just make them stir a bit.

Don’t lie down with them or talk to them.  Just rub their back, tuck them in, kiss them on the cheek… just enough to make them switch sleep cycles.  This brings them out of their sleep slightly, which is just enough to make them fall back into a deep sleep and hopefully sleep through the night.   I studied child development in college, so this makes complete sense to me once she said it.


I wish I would have thought of it sooner!  
It worked PERFECTLY!  He no longer woke up at night and he sleeps the full night.  I was so excited the first night, and I have been happy ever since!  So the key is just to ‘stir him a bit’ before you go to bed.  That was it for us!  I hope that it works for you, too!

For more sleep tips, you are welcome to sign up here for my free email series called “Helping My Child Become a BETTER Sleeper.”

I will also send you a sample sleep schedule.


Ps- just for a little “inspiration,”… our kids are now much older, and everyone sleeps through the night… most nights. 🙂  It gets better- I promise.
These are the faces of well-rested kids. 🙂

A group of people sitting in the grass.
More posts you might like:

sleep disorder disguised as ADHD

why I still carry my kids

Kids waking too early

in bed by 7:00

stay-in-their-own-bed

Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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216 Comments

  1. Hi Becky.

    My son is 3 years old, he is a very active boy, loves to run jump, energetic but won’t take naps. He goes to bed at 7.30 and usually wakes up at 6.30. But these couple of months he would wake up around 2 am or 3.40 am and go back to sleep at 5 am. It use to be ones a week, but now it’s like everyday …. i am getting tired…. will try to wake him up like you advice, hope it works so so so desperate….

  2. Wish this would be something that could help my little guy. He’s a year and a half, and has never slept through the night. He usually wakes up several times BEFORE we go to bed, and then multiple times after we come to bed. He sleeps with his crib side-carred to the bed, and we generally do disturb him a bit when we come to bed, so that’s already happening.
    I’ve heard of this tip though, and glad it helps other folks.

    1. My daughter used to wake several times I took her to the doctor and was told she had thread worm I had no idea what this was she took medication and we all had to take a tablet and that first night after seeing doctor she slept much better some people have it and don’t even know they have it but it disturbs children at night worth a check x

      1. He is having so much trouble going to sleep and waking regularly throughout the night. Thank you so so so so so so so so much

  3. Becky!!! You are my savior!! Well at least your pediatrician’s advice is hehe. We were desperate to have our son Chase sleep past 4:45 am and one night or should I say morning with red burning eyes I came a cross this blog! And Eureka! We have been doing this since then and it works like a charm. The earliest he has gotten up since we started is 6:30! *happy, happy dance*. Thank you, thank you! And please thank your pediatrician! She is obviously one of a kind!

    1. No way!! That’s awesome- I’m so glad that it was helpful! 😉

  4. I’ve been trying this method with my 2.5yr old son who goes to bed at 7:15pm and consistently wakes up around 4:30am. It’s then a battle to get him back to sleep or at least stay in his room til 6am. This method had only worked 50% of the time. I’ve also tried shortening nap time, eliminating the nap and adjusting bedtime and I can’t for the life of me get my son to sleep through the night.

    1. Hmm… what does he want when he is waking up? Have you tried the super nanny method?

      1. What’s the super nanny method? I am also dealing with this issue with 2.5 y.o. twins 🙁

        1. Continuing to put them back to bed… over & over, without an explanation each time.

  5. This has been haOpening with my 1 yr old son for about the last 2 weeks. He used to sleep 9-5 in his crib, then I’d pull him in bed with me and he’d sleep till 7/7:30. Then, the “wake up-transfer” started getting earlier and earlier, until now he goes to bed around 8, but wakes up screaming/crying around 10 and won’t go back to sleep unless he’s in bed with one of us (my hubby and I have started taking turns sleeping with him so one of us gets a good nights rest). In addition to the middle of the night transfer, he’s been waking up earlier (usually 5:30-6:30, but the other morning it was 4:30!!!!)
    Do you think he’s too young to start this technique? I’m so tired and miss sleeping with my husband

    1. Y-Quyen – Did this work for you? My son is almost 15 months and has never been a great sleeper, despite our trying different routines. He is currently going to bed at 7:30pm, and will wake at around 3 or 4 and will cry until you go in. Then we have to lay with him in his bedroom (spare bed) and stay there the rest of the night. Like you, we take turns so at least one gets a decent night sleep. Even then he is waking for the day at 5:30am.

  6. Going to give this a try , my 13 month old keeps waking up at least 3 times a night, mostly teething (teething has not been kind , four teeth almost through the gum and all of her one year molars starting in). But still going to try it thanks for posting this info.

  7. I def. Want to try this. My almost 3 yr old fights naps but when she does fall asleep sleeps almost 3 hrs. Her sleep has gotten worse since me having her sister and she wakes up more during the night than baby!! Its exhausting! How do you do this? I read and sing to her before bed. Do you think I should cut nap and get her to bed 7? Any advice welcomed! :). I am positive she is not getting enough rest!

    1. Our 2 1/2 year old is skipping her naps, too, but I am just starting to get rid of them & put her to bed around 6:45 or 7 because she is ready and she is sleeping all night until about 8:30 now. (She was starting to wake at night again when she would nap).

  8. This worked ! Ok so far day 1 but after months and months of night terrors and sleep walking this is the first night he was ok. We were desperate for sleep as we have a 4 month old baby and between her and the 3 yr old waking I was up 5-6 x a night. Most of these were from the 3 yr old. We woke him before bed to retuck etc and this time made sure he was fully awake. So amazing he slept all night until 700 am without any sleep issues! Thanks for posting this! Hope this is our solution for all of us.

  9. Hi!
    I’ve looked everywhere for info to help me with my 3.5 year old, she has woke up every night screaming kicking her feet and appearing to be extremely frustrated, she won’t talk to me while this is happening, when I ask her what’s wrong she screams louder, this at times goes on for an hour, only to happen again in an hour or so, she was a preemie born at 34 weeks, but is a very normal healthy toddler, cranky all day and I get no sleep, I’ve read the fact that this has gone on her whole life isn’t night terrors even though it seems that way, I’ve mentioned it to the dr many times who only says, nothing other than hmm she will out grow it, I’m loosing my mind what I would give to sleep a full night!! Any ideas or suggestions?

      1. Becky, sorry it took me awhile to respond holidays get crazy, she used to have a lot of ear infections and sinus infections when she was just a newborn, she was also a preemie but now has tubes in her ears shes on her 2nd set, I tried waking her up slightly shortly after falling asleep 1/2 hr to hour after sometimes helps sometimes doesn’t usually shes hard to arouse during that time so not sure if I’m not getting her awake enough or its just not helping. I’m starting to think she will never sleep through the night.

        1. 🙁 I hate that for you. I would ask her pediatrician at your next visit because they might have some good advice- ours always do.

        2. Cut out dairy products. Ears and dairy don’t mix for me… and my son. No dairy equals no ear issues. Good luck.

    1. My son did this also. Almost everynight. It was aweful. He could never tell me why was wrong…would be awake but had a far away look on his face…would scream and cry until suddenly he would be fine and go back to sleep until he did it again. We started a very rigorous bedtime schedule. Getting ready at the same time everynight and doing the same steps in the same order. We would talk about the fact that he was safe, that were there for him and in the other room, got a night light so his room wasn’t dark and then would say a good dream prayer and talk about how Jesus would watch over him and keep him safe while he slept. (Sorry don’t know if you are religious.) Amazingly it has stopped. He hasn’t woken up for over 3 months now and he was doing it nearly every night. Good luck.

      1. yes- I tell our kids, that, too! I tell them that Jesus puts a protective bubble around them when they ask him to… and that he sends his soldiers to stand guard at our house, like hedges surrounding the house. 🙂 It certainly puts me at ease and it works for them, too. Love that advice! Thanks!

  10. My son co-slept with us until he was 1 1/2 and he is now almost 3 and still waking up. We are exhausted! I am trying this tonight though! Hoping it works!!

  11. I’m crossing my fingers this will do the trick for my 4 year old. He’s been waking 2-3 times a night for probably a year now. It’s so frustrating because he developed ninja skills and crawls into our bed without waking us up so my husband & I wake up in the morning to him in between us. So we don’t have the chance to take him back to bed because we don’t know he’s there until we wake up in the morning. I asked our pediatrician at his 4 year appt for suggestions and was appalled when she said he needs to go to sleep by himself (not that appalling or unreasonable) and lock him in his room overnight. Ummm?? I’m looking to help him sleep, not traumatize the kid. Not to mention the safety issue of getting to him in case of a fire or other emergency. I loved her up until that comment. I don’t judge parents who lock their kids’ doors for other safety reasons like sleepwalking or whatever but the idea just does not sit well with me at all. So anyway, thank you for the suggestion & hopefully it works for us!

  12. I tried this with my 3yo. We have been trying to wean her out of our bed into her own room. She wants to stay with us, and I totally see her point! But I don’t get much sleep with her in the bed. She will go down in her room okay, but get up in an hour or two and send the rest of the night with us. When I tried this- go in and rearrange blankets, kiss, etc, it accelerated her return to the big bed. Putting her back in her room at that point just feels cruel and not worth the fight. Any advice?

    1. NOt really- I would just say to pick something and stick with it. I would just keep putting her back to bed if that is the end result that you want, but I know its really hard. 🙁

  13. Just found this post on Facebook going to try it my I’ll boy slept great from birth up to 12 hours a nite he’
    hit 19 mths then started waking up loads. We have put him into a toddler bed and tried every thing new blankets the supernanny technique which made him worse 10 weeks of no sleep he goes to bed between 830-9 wakes up at 12 or 1 then at 3or 4 am in the end I put him into bed with me as I shattered. I have watched him when he is asleep and he’s twitching like mad. Some times I can get him straight off by putting his blanket on other times it can take 5 times within his first or second wake up This as been going on for 10 weeks now so will try it tonight how long do u wait after he’s been asleep to go into him I go to bed between 1130/12.

  14. For those who need help with child who gets up and comes into your bed: We went through the same thing and this is what worked for us. When our son was about 3 we put a sleeping bag on the floor next to my side of the bed and we told him if he was scared or needed company in the night he could come in and sleep in the bag, but he was NOT to wake us up. He was always put to bed in his own bed after the bedtime routine, but knew he could come to our room if he needed to. And the very first night we did that, we woke the next morning after a good night’s sleep and there he was in the sleeping bag waiting for us to wake up. After a few months, he came in less and less and it gradually stopped.