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I wanted to write about why I really do enjoy spending time with our kids because it doesn’t matter if I am lying down with them or just baking something in the kitchen– the time with them is important.   

 

enjoy time with kids

Being a parent is HARD

I think that being a parent is a roller-coaster of emotions… filled with ups and downs.  It’s up to us, their parents, to remember the fact that even though things are hard, our kids need us & love us… and we need & love them right back. ♥

I want to share a story that pulled at my heartstring… 

A group of people standing on top of a grass covered field

My friend, Sharla, wrote this:

“Perspective can change so quickly. Today, I get to plan a birthday party for my son while a friend has to plan a funeral for hers.
So many of the things I often think of as a chore are actually an incredible privilege.”

How incredibly true.   Being a mom is a privilege.   I’m blessed to be called Mother by four beautiful children and not a day goes by that I don’t remember that and recognize it.  It wasn’t easy for us to have children and it’s not something that I take lightly.

The hardest part is that it sometimes takes a rude awakening to realize that nothing is for sure. Anyone could wake up tomorrow and it could all be gone.   That’s so sad but so true. 

Six friends of mine have lost their children over the past several years.

  • One of my friends woke up to find her son had passed away in his sleep.
  • One of my friends went on a family vacation when her one-year-old daughter passed out and never woke up.
  • Last year, one of my friends received the phone call that her teenage son was in a car accident and didn’t survive.
  • Another friend’s daughter died in an accident at home and then just this year, my other friend lost her son to drowning.
  • Yesterday, a fellow blogger lost her son to a boating accident.   

You just never know what tomorrow will bring.

Just writing these words makes me fill with tears… not just filled with tears- I have tears rolling down my face because the mere thought of losing one of my children is an unbearable thought. It literally makes my stomach hurt. I have to put it out of my mind.

 

So while motherhood may be hard today

 You might make 4 lunches that no one eats, you might make a dinner that looks great and have your kids complain because it isn’t chicken nuggets, you might have to change your child’s shirt because they spilled milk on it right before school, you might be exhausted because the kids woke up last night, but you know what?  We have them… they are ours.

becky & kids YOURMODERNFAMILY

They are here and I get to talk to them and hug them and tell them how much I love them every single day.
How amazing is that, just in itself?

My grandma used to say “If you aren’t going to enjoy being with your kids… why have them?”   She said it all of the time.   I took it in, even before I had kids, and it has stayed in my heart all these years.

 

(I love this little reminder that I found on K-Love)
be grateful for your family
Try to soak in these moments and just enjoy them.  Don’t just go through the motions.

  • If you are stressed, there is a reason.  Maybe you are doing everything for your kids, but remember that your kids WANT to feel like they are contributing.  They want to feel valued.  If your kids need to do more,  TEACH them to do more.  Don’t expect it until you teach it.    At the same time, kids need to feel respected and loved, so respect and love them.  Let them feel valued and appreciated, just like YOU want to feel valued and appreciated.  What goes around comes around.
  • Let them talk to you.  Whenever they want.   Listen to them, without giving advice and without passing judgment.
  • Play pretend with your kids.
  • Bake cookies with them.
  • Laugh at their knock-knock jokes that don’t make any sense.
  • Hold them responsible for their choices.
  • Give them responsibilities around the house and be sure that they are completed.
  • Build lego sets and let them do it, even if it takes them an hour longer for them to do it than it would take you.
  • Encourage them to do their chores, even though it is easier for you to just do it.
  • Read with them and let them ask you questions while you read (the same book for the 3rd time today)
  • Remind them that they matter in your family and they need to help.  We can’t do it without everyone.  We all play a role.
  • Cuddle them
  • Turn off all electronics, then collect them and keep them for a few weeks (trust me on this one- they’ll be happier!)
  • Play a board game with them.
  • Be with your kids today and just enjoy being with them.
  • Love them.  Let them love you.  Say it often and remember it every day.
  • Hug them often… and mean it.  A woman hugging a little boy.
  • Be grateful.   Say three things that you are grateful for every day, but encourage your kids to do the same. (Do it at dinnertime)
  • Did you know that a child’s biggest worry is that his parent is stressed?   Be happy … your kids will be happy right back.♥
    You’re welcome to download this free calendar & I’ll send you some tips that you might like, via email:
    A close up 30-day printable calendar to spend one on one time with child

You are also welcome to find us on Instagram or you can find me on Facebook.

MORE POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

10 secrets of a happy mom (because your kids LIKE to see you happy & smiling ♥) 🙂
secrets of a happy mom
Tucking your kids in at night: 

lay with me

MOMMY, WILL YOU LAY WITH ME?

How to help your kids listen without yelling.
stop yelling to get your kids to listen to you. - yourmodernfamily.com
stop watching, start playing

Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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22 Comments

  1. So true! We need to appreciate and be thankful for all that we have, everyday.

    We have had some heartbreaking losses within our friendship group this year, with the tragic death of a friend’s beautiful two year old daughter in a car accident and with the very recent senseless car ‘hit and run’ death of a friend’s adored husband, whilst his two children were with him, but were thankfully spared.

    It weighs so
    heavily on your heart, is so heartbreaking and also makes you fear for the safety of your own loved ones. We just need to embrace, appreciate and enjoy what we are so blessed to have.

    A wonderful post….really resonated with me.

  2. You’re right, there has been a lot of negativity toward motherhood and parenting lately. However, I LOVE being a mom! I am the woman who said I never wanted children (more on that coming in a blog post in the future), but I can honestly say that I would not change ANYTHING! Life is too short. We have to enjoy every moment that we can!

  3. Beautiful post!!! It’s easy to get impatient and want to focus on “getting things done” instead of the children, but then–what for? So we can have time to get on Facebook more or watch more silly TV? Better to stop, listen, play, and enjoy this time with our wonderful children, enjoy the moments, get to know how they think, and exactly what you said–count it as a privilege and not a chore! Our oldest is going to graduate this year, and I can’t believe it! And again, exactly–we do not know how much longer anyone has. Prayers for your friends who went through loss. Your post touched my heart.

  4. Like I said on Facebook. I do see it as a sad trend what those moms are putting out there. When I find my days overwhelmed, I never see the problem to be what matters most, it’s usually what I choose to take on such as blogging. Kids are the purpose for the day to day happiness. It’s not good to get them confused. everything else can wait.

  5. Thank you so much for writing this! Unlike you, I never knew I wanted to be a mother until it was almost too late. I was lucky enough to be blessed with two boys who I really enjoy spending time with. They are cool people. I genuinely enjoy being with them. Just like everyone else, I get busy with the mundane – laundry, cooking, taking them places. And those things aren’t always fun. But I genuinely feel honored to have been entrusted with these two amazing little lives!

  6. Spoken like someone who has the money and support system to find time to enjoy life. Must be nice. Let’s shame the moms who struggle and tell them how selfish they are because they are doing it all alone and can’t find the fun.

    1. I think you took it wrong. I have 6 children. I wish I could hold them all, clean them all, feed them all, bathe them all, clean up after all of them. I can’t. Only two of them are here with me. 3 wait in heaven. And one is growing inside my belly and every movement is a treasure as we already know he won’t live to term. Perspective changes when we realize the treasure we have and the privilege it is to have these treasures.

      1. Oh I’m so sorry. We have one waiting for us, as well.. I don’t know how you are doing this, but you will be on my mind & in my prayers.

  7. Thank you for this post. I have been hearing a lot of moms lately complaining about how hard parenting is and sometimes I actually feel guilty for the joy that it gives me. I feel like I have to hide how much I love being a mom and how I wouldn’t change a thing about it. No more though. Your post has inspired me to sing my happiness from the rooftops. I don’t want to lie about it anymore and my daughter does not deserve to be cast as a burden. I have the same fears that you described about losing my child and I know exactly the feeling you describe. I intend to enjoy my motherhood for every moment that I can.

  8. Finally, a happy article about motherhood. The one thing, if you don’t want your kids to get hooked on chicken nuggets, never feed them chicken nuggets. As for the HuffPost, it’s a liberal site, so it’s only natural that a lot of the posts on motherhood aren’t that positive. My daughter is only two, but she watches me bake all the time, and I show her every ingredient, let her sniff the spices and extracts, etc. It does take longer, but I feel like I’m killing two birds with one stone—creating a sweet work of art that we will all devour and educating/spending quality time with her at the same time.

  9. Motherhood can be fun. It can be the most fun. And it can be devastatingly un-fun. You can have bigger challenges than someone making a mess or not liking dinner or not sleeping well. You can have challenges as a mother that shake you to your core and wonder if maybe you really are the worst mom ever, that your kids are going to end up really messed up, and that maybe you’re not cut out for this. And it’s not because you’re not trying. You’re giving it your all every single day and somehow you feel like you’re still failing. During those times, it’s comforting to know that there are other women who struggle during motherhood and it’s ok to have negative feelings about motherhood. Articles like these can make struggling moms feel even more guilty–guilty that they’re struggling to enjoy motherhood. But they keep trying because they know their kids are worth it and they want to be able to enjoy motherhood. And if they don’t enjoy every second of it, that is just fine.

    1. That wasn’t my intention. No one is perfect and we all fear things about being a mother, but simply to say to appreciate motherhood for all that it has to offer and try to have fun doing it.

  10. I try to we the positives everyday and even on the days that have been difficult ( screaming fits in store yesterday followed by screaming at top of lungs in car on way home) I am always greatful. I am greatful for my role and I make time daily to thank god for the chance. I lost 2 babies before they could meet me. I thought maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mom but then my son went full term, born healthy, and happy and as jubilant as I could ever have imagined. I never ever will make him the excuse for a putty party or the reason my day went bad. He will always be the single
    Most wonderful reason for my every day. Maybe my losses help
    Me see that but I won’t be having more he was maybe my last chance at my age so I will never not be proud to be a mom. I wasn’t sure it would ever happen even before my losses so now I am and it better than preparing for a Broadway show!

  11. Thankyou Becky .. because of you i cuddle with my kids every night now and i havent slept this good in years now. God bless you for opening my eyes. I have three beautiful treasures that i love to bits.

  12. Yes! Thank you for this. I work full time and although I can take some time off in the summer to spend with my son I wish it could be more. I listen to my ‘Mum’ friends complaining about their kids and how relieved they are that school is starting again. I’d love to be able to spend more time with my son. They are ours and lets try to enjoy them as much as possible.

  13. I love this! My three boys are so close in age that I oftentimes find myself not enjoying it. The days can rough! I definitely needed this perspective today. Thanks!