Don’t judge her

Every week, I send out an e-mail to my readers. I share personal stories or encouraging tips. This week, however, I had one sent to me.

One of my readers told me that nine years ago, she had a beautiful baby girl and nine months later, she learned that her daughter had stage 4 brain cancer with a no chance of survival .

To think of that just crushes my heart. My friend is going through this with her three year old and it has been such a heart-breaking journey. To know that your baby has a disease that may take her life before it has truly started is just terrible.

Today, 9 years later, her daughter is a stage 4 brain cancer survivor, living her amazing life in a wheelchair.    She beat all odds.

However, the story that her mom shared with me crushed my spirit a little… You see, a few years ago, her mom put her in a jogging stroller and went down to the beach.  For those of you that visit the beach often, you know that sand & wheels do not mix.  I’ve pushed my bike through the sand and had a VERY hard time, but to add a child to those wheels makes it seem next to impossible (The things we do for our children…) .  

When she was taking a break, she overheard two women saying how “Mothers these days let there children be SO Lazy.”

These women, unknowing of the situation, judged this mother.  They thought that this mom was just being lazy and that this little girl should be walking.  They never knew that this was impossible.   They never knew the struggle that this family faced.  They never knew that this little girl dreams of walking and would give anything to walk around in that sand.

She didn’t look physically disabled.  She didn’t wear casts on her legs or braces.   She looked like a healthy little girl, taking a stroll with her mom.

As the mom heard this story, every ounce of her wanted to retaliate, to tell them the truth, to put them in their place… but she didn’t.  Instead, she told them to have a great day and she went on her way.

I’m not so sure that I could have been trusted to keep my lips sealed.
I’m not sure that I wouldn’t have wanted to say “Do you have any idea about our past?  How can you pass judgement on us?  You don’t even know us.”
I’m not so sure that I could have been so graceful… but I hope that I would be.   I hope that I would turn the other cheek, like I tell our children to do. 

In her e-mail to me, she said “We need to raise each other up, rather then judge and try to bring each other down.”    She went on to thank me for writing my post about Why I Carry My Children, but I want to thank her, instead, for sharing her story with us.  Sometimes, it just takes a story like this to really change how you look at things.

This is a story that I will tell our children tonight.  I want them to know that in the world, there are many people that have faced hardships, but it isn’t your circumstances, it is what you do with them.