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I have always wanted four children.   I have wanted a large family for as long as I can remember. since I was little.  My grandmother had four children.  My great-grandmother had 11 children.  My Great-great-grandmother had more than that.

Each of our children was thought about, planned and brought into this world with every intention of growing our family, raising our children and watching them grow into responsible adults.  They were beautifully and wonderfully made.
And if they had not been planned for… I would love them exactly the same.

There have been many times when I have had to defend our family.  The number of children that we chose to have, the fact that I wanted them all to be so close in age (2 years between each of them), the fact that it is a little bit hard right now, but that I enjoy it and I actually find four kids to be less-stressful than three.

             (here we were, expecting our fourth baby…) 
another baby
A friend told me once before we had our third child:  “You will never regret having another child.  You will love him and take care of him, but in twenty years, will you look back and wish that you had had one more if you decide not to have another child now?  You won’t regret having another child, but you might regret not having one.”

After our second child was born with hypertonicity, and we spent hours a day in therapy and at over 17 doctor’s offices during that first year, trying to figure out why he couldn’t move well and why he vomited everything that he ate (which lasted for the first two years of his life).  We questioned whether or not we should have more children.

We didn’t know what our lives would be like.
Would this child ever grow up to be independent?
Would he take more time than we had to give to more than two children?
Would our other children were born with this, too?
Well- we trusted in God and decided to grow our family.   We knew that we could raise our kids to be empathetic, helpful, loving and caring.   Plus, we have a great support system with our family.  As it turned out, God healed our son and he is so amazing today.

He is a vibrant, wonderful, smart, (SO FUNNY) six-year-old boy (& he sure can breakdance… so watch out!)   He is a testimony to the power of prayer (& play therapy at a young age!)

A young boy running on a beach.

So, when I hear someone ask me that question…  “Are they all yours?”  I say, very proudly “Yes.  They are ALL mine!”  with a smile on my face.   I love having four kids!   I understand why they are asking, as I am on the petite side, so I understand that I don’t look much taller than our oldest son, 7 years old.   (I am only 4’11… I take after my mom!)    

I had our first son when I was 23.  I had been married for two years before our son was born (My husband and I dated for seven years prior to our marriage- through high school & college.  We were married the month after college graduation from college).
berry pickingMany times I will hear arguments about how it is irresponsible to have this many children because of overcrowding in the world.  I will hear that it is too expensive to have four children.  I hear that four children are “a handful”…   so to these things, I answer:  “True.”

Yes, it is true that there are a lot of people in our world, but God has a plan.   He planned our children and I’m sure that they will do amazing things!  I can’t wait to see how they change the world!

Yes, it is expensive.   Are you kidding me- of course it is!  Just feeding them one meal costs a lot of money!  That’s Ok, because I cut back in other places.  I decorate our house for less money using these ideas,  I go to toy swaps and even clothing swaps, and I have become a stay at home mom on one income.  I don’t need to have the latest and greatest things, because I already have the real latest and greatest at home… my family!

Yes, they are a handful a handful of fun, love, excitement, laughter, giggles, and at times, even a handful of trouble. haha!

familycircus_custom-2e676e025b685bfca2827c77158115437c142847-s6-c30
So- how many kids do you have?  Do you ever hear people ask you this?

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Hi there!

I’m Becky, a former elementary school teacher turned certified child development therapist and blogger. I work at home with my husband and together we are raising (and partially homeschooling) our four children in the Carolinas. I love diet coke, ice cream, and spending time with my family.

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119 Comments

  1. We have three. My first two are 11 months apart, unplanned. The second two are two years apart with my youngest just two months old now. And people all the time say ‘You’re done right?’ Or ‘you’re going to wait a long time to have any more right?’ And it bothers me! Sure having them so close together seems like a crazy idea now but I think of how close they will be all their lives! Thank you for your post. It was just what I needed 🙂

    1. Oh good!!
      Ps- we had tried to have ours 11 months apart (irish twins) but I always had fertility issues, so we couldn’t really ‘plan it’. lol- I bet its crazy, but fun!! 🙂

  2. I have a two year old son with health problems. My husband and I decided to have more and were surprised with twins. 5 days after they were born my older son went into the hospital and has been there 55 days so far. My twins are being raised in a hotel near the hospital. I never would have chosen to have 2 newborns in the midst of this but in God’s wisdom he gave them to us at this time to bring joy in the midst of hardship. Yes my hands are full and I am exhausted but I am so blessed!

  3. We currently have 5 children. The oldest two are girls just 19 months apart at 9 1/2 and almost 8. #3 is just 16 months behind #2 and #4 is just 21 months behind him. We always talked about 4 children. And who can plan it better than two girls and two boys?

    But we just felt like we were missing somebody. Almost 3 years later we had another sweet boy. Immediately upon his birth we both felt that “missing piece feeling. A feeling we couldn’t shake. After much right and prayer we decided to have one more baby. 1. To give #5 (who is literally the fifth wheel and an “island baby” so far apart on age from the other 4) and 2. So baby boy could have a buddy.

    Life lesson: don’t ever tell God you want one more baby… we are now expecting identical twin girls! I love my big family and all my Heavenly Father’s sweet spirit children He allows me to have in my life.

  4. Just found your blog and loving it!
    My husband was an only child, and I am the oldest of four (three brothers). Growing up, I always wanted a little sister, but it didn’t happen. At the beginning of our marriage, my husband always said he’d like to have 10 kids, but first we’d “have to win the lottery or something” to be able to afford to support that many.
    We started out with our society’s idea of the “perfect family”: one boy, one girl, almost exactly three years apart. Six years after my daughter was born, God blessed us with another boy as a wonderful surprise. A few years later, we prayed and talked, leaving it mostly up to God, and ended up having four more children in just under six years! So our oldest is 20, and our youngest is 4 months old. And yet, to our surprise, we’ve managed to do just fine on just one income–without assistance, though I’m glad it’s there for those who need it.
    We’re certainly not millionaires in a literal way–but we feel so very rich, because our lives are so full of love, joy and happiness!
    It’s not always sunshine, not always easy, but the rewards far outweigh the struggles and the good times far outweigh the bad. It’s sometimes just plain crazy around here, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I absolutely love being a mom of a large family!

  5. I read something once that I thought was beautifully true about large families (we also have 4). “I believe that the issues in this world are more qualitative than quantitative, and that our children will only make this world a better place.”

  6. I just discovered your site and love it! I relate to so many things you have posted. I also have four children: two boys and two girls ages 5 (will be 6 in a couple of weeks), 4,2, and 3 months. My pregnancies were all high risk, but thanks to God’s good grace everything turned out okay and we have four completely healthy, beautiful children. We also planned to have four, but have often met comments such as, “How many kids are you going to have;” “Don’t you know what causes that;” or “They’re all yours?!” We are fortunate to have the support of our families though. My parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents all had four children, too, and my husband’s grandparents had seven. I LOVE that mine are so close in age (18 months between the first two, and two years between the others). I am so fortunate to be able to stay home with them. It can be crazy, hectic, and chaotic at times, but even then I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  7. I totally feel you. I’m preggers with #3, 7 years after #2, and even then I get people making comments about “being pregnant all the time”. LOL! Sadly, I’ve found myself justifying it instead of just ignoring it.

    I come from a large family (3rd eldest of 9), have a sister with 6 kids, and am eternally amazed at how people can describe having a lot of kids as “selfish”. I don’t think there are many who are LESS selfish than a mom with a large family. It makes no sense to me.

    I suppose we must just laugh it off, and remind ourselves that when we’re old we’ll have plenty of kids to look after us. 🙂

    1. Yes!! That’s hilarious! I’m always like “aww- wouldn’t one more be so much fun?” I wonder if that will ever go away??
      Oh- and I’m w/ you on people saying its selfish- I don’t get it AT ALL! 🙂
      Enjoy your #3!!! Keep me posted on your delivery, etc! (I mean that- not just saying it). Good luck!

  8. I just (as in today) learned I’m pregnant with our fifth baby. My youngest is only 9 months old, so I’m a little in shock. 🙂 Our four are 7, 5, 2, and 9 months, and I’m actually kind of dreading the announcement this time. That, and trying to figure out how to fit all those car seats in my minivan! I know people will judge, but hopefully they’ll keep their thoughts to themselves. My husband is a pastor and I stay at home, so it’s tight,but we’re happy. Just last week my only son (the 5 year old) told me he wants 10 more sisters. 🙂

  9. We have 6, 2 of which we actually “tried” for and I say the rest just showed up one day lol and we hear it all the time are they all yours, wow that’s a lot of kids and so on. I used to want 10 lol but I’m good with staying at 6 🙂 but if we’re meant to have more then that’s the way it will be 🙂

  10. I have six kids and have heard all those questions many times. One time, I think it was just my 4th baby, some past coworker said, “You’re having ANOTHER one?!!!” I was definitely pregnant, no questions asked. I just told her “No…?” She walked away and never said another word. I love my kids and multiply my love between them all! I wouldn’t trade them for anything!

  11. I love this! Thank you so much for sharing this! I get a ton of comments about having a big family- I totally get it that people are curious since our decisions aren’t very typical. We have 3 biological sons and a foster daughter who has been with us for the past year and a half. People assume that we decided to foster because I wanted a girl, but the truth is that I have said yes to taking boys too. God put fostering on my heart and there is such a profound need that I couldn’t say no. Maybe it doesn’t seem ideal to take on another, but just like you said, I have never regretted having more 🙂 even if it is courtesy of social services and possibly temporary, although adoption is possible too. It’s in God’s hands; following Him by loving on kids is something I will never regret! Love your blog and can’t wait to connect more with you!
    -Sara, uncommongrace.net

    1. Thanks, Sara!
      PS- I get that ALL OF THE TIME (because our daughter is the youngest one)

  12. My husband and I have six children (now adults) When asked, my husband always replied, “We’d have more, if we liked kids”. For our 40th Anniversary last year, those six wonderful kids (and spouses) went together and sent my husband and me on an Alaskan cruise. What a blessing they are to us!

  13. I had B/G twins so most people just assumed I was done. Before they turned one I was already pregnant with our third and everyone’s question was ” were you trying?” I’ve always wanted four but we decided to stop at three. I keep secretly hoping for a fourth.

  14. I totally agree with what you say. We are on number 9 coming in July. We have heard so many people with so many rude comments about how many children we have so i have taken to asking people why they would want to limit their blessings from God. They rarely make the connection till we explain it to them. As for feeding them, Aldi’s is a nice place.

  15. i have 8. 4 girls, 4 boys, ages 24, 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, almost 4 and almost 2. Plus one granddaughter and 2 grandsons on the way. Im 5′ 4 1/2″
    and 101 lb. and when people try to guess my age they normally guess in the ballpark of 28-32. I’m 45. No not many people do it anymore but I wouldn’t trade any of my children for the world.