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Real women share real advice for real (strong) marriages … Day 1- Giving
My husband and I are celebrating 10 year together, so in honor of that, I want to do a mini-marriage series.
When I was engaged, my mom asked the women in my life to write out advice for me. It is advice that I still cherish today.
I am going to take the next few days to share these letters with you.
Today is Day 1- Giving
This letter was written by my Aunt (& friend). She and my Uncle have been married a long time and they have been through some very difficult times together (hard pregnancy, deaths of parents & more) and have led a great example that leaning on each other and God can get you through just about anything.
On a side note, her daughter (my cousin) is engaged, so hopefully she will read these words written by her Mom ten years ago…
“Becky,
The definition of GIVING is to make a present of.
In your marriage, GIVING will become and important attribute. All of your life, you have been a GIVING person. When you saw someone in need, you gave. Either by giving material things, giving hugs and support or just by giving your time.
I believe that a giving sprit will enable you to develop and even deeper, more everlasting relationship with your husband.
The word GIVE will be used often in your marriage.
1- There will be a lot of GIVE AND TAKE, which is an exchange of ideas on fair and equal terms. Remember to keep it fair and equal.
2- GIVE IN, which is to surrender- figure out if it is too important of an issue to just give in. Remember, your husband wants to ‘win’ sometimes, too. Be willing to Give In.
3- A GIVEN – which is assumed to be true, like your love for your husband has always been a given fact.
The next two definitions must be AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.
GIVE OUT – which is used up or exhausted. Don’t try too hard for perfection or you will give out. You need to lean on him and let him be strong when you can’t be. Don’t sweat the small stuff- life is too short.
Lastly, don’t ever GIVE UP. To stop trying is not an option. Things will get tough and you will feel scared, but remember that you have each other, your friends, your family and God to help you every step of the way in this new journey.
Here is a poem by Dr. Wayne Dyer about giving of yourself:
“Life’s purpose is about giving yourself unconditionally and accepting whatever comes back with love, even if what comes back is not what you had anticipated.”
Your life’s purpose is to work with each other to ensure that the two of you are happy together. Be open to change even if it doesn’t look like it fits into your plans.
God has given you all the gifts you will need to make a wonderful marriage. Patience, kindness, understanding, tolerance, compassion and forgiveness. HE gave you a giving heart so you can use these gifts to create a beautiful marriage that you have dreamed about.
Enjoy each other and enjoy LIFE!!
This is so true. Sometimes people today are afraid that if they give too much the other person will take advantage and things will not be fair. The thing is that when both of you are acting in a giving manner this does not happen. This leads to a deeper friendship beneath the love and an unbreakable bond.